The Long Walk Home

by Valerie Wood

  Eleanor looked up at him. Was she supposed to be surprised? Or pleased? He was early, at any rate. It wasn’t the end of term yet.

  ‘He has been expelled.’ Her father waited as if she should make a comment, but she didn’t know what to say. Should she feel guilty? What had he done to be sent home?

  ‘For some weeks now he has been behaving badly, so the school has informed me.’ Her father continued to gaze at her. ‘They have punished him, as I suggested they should, and given him several chances, but to no avail. He is set on a downward path, I fear.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she managed to say. ‘He doesn’t like it there; perhaps that’s why.’

  Her father frowned; a deep furrow which delved into his forehead. ‘I didn’t ask for your opinion,’ he reprimanded her. ‘I am giving you this information so you understand that when he comes home you are not to speak to him. No one must; not your mother, not Nanny or any of the servants, and neither must you. Do you understand?’

  ‘Yes, Papa,’ she whispered. Poor Simon, she thought.

  ‘He will be kept in complete isolation for a month. A month in Coventry; we’ll see how he likes that.’ Her father stretched his neck and drew back his shoulders. ‘And then he will be sent away to another school. One that knows how to treat recalcitrant boys. Cold baths, exercise every morning, beating when they misbehave. And,’ he added, ‘if I should find out that you have been communicating with him in any way – do not think you can slip him a note when I have told you not to speak to him – then you will be punished too. Is that understood?’

  Eleanor cast a glance at her mother, who was sitting still as stone, her face so pale and drawn that she looked as if at any moment she might slide out of her chair and fall in a faint to the floor.

  ‘Is that understood?’ he thundered. ‘Do not look at your mother. Look at me and swear it.’

  ‘Yes, Father,’ she whispered. ‘I swear it.’

  CHAPTER NINE

  Mikey spent another night under St Mary’s arch. It seemed to be the most sensible thing to do. No point in setting off in search of his fortune on the day of his mother’s funeral. He was dead tired and felt wrung out, emotional and guilty too about leaving his young brothers and sister; but what could he do? If he could have found a job which paid enough to cover rent and food, then perhaps they could have all lived together, but that was asking the impossible. It was at least a shilling a week for a room.

  Besides, he thought honestly, if I only have myself to think about, then I can do so much more and travel further. He had it in his head that he would go away from Hull and the places he was familiar with. I shall be unencumbered, he thought. Just myself and the high road. I’ll try for work chopping wood and so on, but even though those low hills I saw looked inviting, I’m no country boy and I think I’d be best heading for another town.

  He didn’t know the country, never having been. He didn’t know the sea either, only the Humber estuary which carried the salty smell of the sea and where on wild days seagulls came shrieking in over the tops of the churning water.

  He huddled against the wall. I could follow ’river’s course, as far as it goes, and then cut across to the highways and make my way to … to where, he wondered. Where could I go to make my fortune? London? I don’t know anybody who’s been.

  The town clocks struck eight; people were moving about the streets. The theatres and music halls would already be filling up, as would the inns and hostelries. Good luck to them all, he thought sleepily, if they’ve money to spend. He closed his eyes and saw flower beds and trees and the place where they had put their mother to rest.

  ‘Hey!’ A voice woke him from his slumber. ‘You’ve pinched our spot again.’

  He rubbed his eyes. The two women he had seen last night were standing over him.

  ‘Sorry,’ he mumbled. ‘But I was that tired.’

  ‘Have you still not found anywhere else to sleep?’ the older one asked him.

  ‘No. I haven’t looked,’ he confessed. ‘I’ve been to my ma’s funeral today. I’m going off tomorrow. I’m going to leave ’district.’

  He saw in the gloom that the women looked concerned. ‘Going to seek your fortune, are you?’ one of them asked.

  ‘I might be,’ he muttered. ‘Don’t see why not.’

  ‘Tell you what,’ the younger woman said. ‘You can stop wi’ us tonight.’

  He gazed at them warily. His mother’s warnings came into his mind. ‘Erm, I can’t pay you. I’ve got no money.’

  They both grinned. ‘We hear that all ’time; but we believe you. Go on,’ the older woman said. ‘Go to Leadenhall Square. Second house on ’right. You can’t miss it. It’s got a broken front door and a cracked upstairs window.’

  ‘H-how will I get in?’ he stammered. ‘Can I have a key?’

  ‘No.’ She laughed. Her teeth were blackened and worn down to short uneven stubs. ‘Door’s always open. If you see Milly or any of ’other lasses there, tell ’em that Peg and Sissy sent you and that you’re stopping ’night.’

  He clambered to his feet, hanging on to Mrs Turner’s blanket. ‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘If you’re sure it’s all right?’

  They both nodded and waved him away and he knew that they wanted him to leave so they could have their pitch back.

  There were no street lights in Leadenhall Square, but most of the houses had lamplight in the windows. At first he thought that the second house on the right was derelict. The door was broken, as Peg had said, but she hadn’t said that it was hanging on by one hinge. The upstairs window was cracked, but so was the one downstairs, and both were covered over with cardboard. A young woman was sitting on the steps.

  ‘What do you want?’ she shouted at him as he approached. ‘This your first time?’

  ‘Peg and Sissy told me to come,’ he said nervously. ‘They said I could stop here for tonight.’

  She got to her feet. ‘You what?’ She sounded incredulous. ‘For free?’

  ‘Yeh. I haven’t got any money and nowhere to stop. My ma’s just died.’ He couldn’t help the tremor in his voice and the woman – only a girl, really, though older than him – gazed at him curiously.

  ‘Just for tonight, do you mean? Where will you go then?’

  ‘I don’t know. I was in their place – Peg and Sissy’s. It was ’second time and they wanted me to move on.’

  She sighed. ‘So they sent you here! I don’t know where you’ll sleep. There’re no beds; you’ll just have to find a corner somewhere. Better’n being outside, I suppose. Not comfortable on ’street, is it? I should know.’

  She led him inside, into a narrow hall and through to a kitchen. ‘You can kip in here if you like. There’s onny us comes in here to mek a cuppa tea or summat. What’s your name?’

  The floor was bare, but under a rickety table covered in crockery, bottles and bits of mouldy food was a thin rug. It might be flea-ridden, he reckoned, but more comfortable than lying on the cold ground he’d just vacated.

  ‘Mikey,’ he answered. ‘Can I sleep under ’table?’

  ‘If you like,’ she said. ‘But don’t wake ’bairn.’ She nodded over to the corner of the room. A drawer was placed on two chairs and in the drawer was a bundle. ‘He’ll sleep all night if he’s not disturbed.’

  ‘Whose bairn is it?’ he asked curiously.

  ‘Mine,’ she said belligerently. ‘That’s why I’m here and not out on ’streets. I look after him and ’house and mek sure nobody else comes in.’

  ‘I see,’ he muttered, though he didn’t really. The girl looked too young to be the mother of a child. But what do I know? It’s all a mystery to me. He thought back to Bridget crawling under his blanket, and the touch of her flesh. He’d been excited by and yet ashamed of the sensation that had come over him. Suppose, just suppose that he’d been undressed and not still in his clothes. He broke into a sweat. Might Bridget have become pregnant?

  He was an innocent. His mother had made sure that he was. Don’t be thin
king unclean thoughts, Mikey, she had said often enough. And keep away from girls. They’ll only get you into trouble.

  ‘What’s your name?’ he asked the girl. ‘Are you Milly?’

  She nodded. ‘Yeh. I came here when I was expecting. Peg and Sissy looked after me.’

  ‘Where’s your babby’s da? Does he live here?’ He was bothered that some man might come in and want to know why there was a strange lad asleep under the table.

  Milly laughed. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know where he is or who he is. Don’t much care, either. He’d not help me out even if he turned up and claimed ’bairn as his own.’

  Mikey stared at her. He remembered his father very well, even though he didn’t come home from sea very often. Money was so scarce that he only ever took short leave before going back to a ship again, but Mikey recalled that he was always worried about leaving them all, especially their mother.

  Milly sat on a wooden chair and crossed her legs. Mikey averted his eyes; she obviously didn’t realize that her legs were showing almost up to her thigh. ‘Have you got a lass?’ She smiled as she asked it, her mouth turning up at the corners, and he thought how pretty she was, even though she was rather shabby and not very clean.

  ‘A sister,’ he said.

  ‘No, I meant a girl friend; somebody you’re walking out with.’ She laughed as she spoke. ‘Somebody to have a kiss and cuddle with.’

  Mikey blushed up to his hair roots. ‘No.’ He thought of Bridget, who had kissed him through the cell bars. ‘No, I haven’t.’

  She laughed again. ‘Still pure and chaste, are you? You do right to come here!’ She put her head back and hooted.

  Mikey hung his head. Was it a laughing matter? Should he have been with a girl by now? He hadn’t felt the need before, although sometimes he had avoided the company of girls like Bridget because of the physical sensations that came over him.

  ‘Sorry.’ Milly wiped her eyes. ‘It’s just that I don’t get to meet many wholesome, decent men.’ She leaned forward and touched his hand, and he drew it away. ‘I didn’t mean to laugh at you,’ she said soberly. ‘It’s just that I’ve been corrupted. I’m sixteen and I’ve never before met a man or boy who didn’t want to tek me to bed.’

  ‘I wouldn’t know what to do,’ he mumbled.

  ‘Somebody’ll teach you,’ she said softly. ‘Onny don’t be in a hurry. There’s plenty o’ time. How old are you?’

  ‘Thirteen and a half.’

  She blew out her cheeks. ‘That’s how old I was when I went on ’streets. It’s different for lads, though, unless they’re on ’game as well.’

  Mikey drew in a breath. There was a whole world out there of which he knew nothing. ‘I’m leaving ’district,’ he said hurriedly. ‘I’ll be gone in ’morning.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘You can stop here as long as you want. Nobody’ll bother you.’ She smiled again and her cheeks dimpled. ‘And nobody’ll proposition you. We onny do it for money, not for pleasure.’

  Mikey licked his lips. ‘Just suppose.’ He wasn’t sure how to phrase the question, but guessed that Milly would know the answer. ‘I mean – if a lass got under a lad’s blanket, would she be doing it to keep warm or cos she wanted – well, summat else?’

  She gazed at him. ‘How old would this lass be? Is she just a bairn, or older?’

  ‘Older than me. About fifteen, I suppose.’ He felt himself growing hot again just at the thought of it.

  ‘Oh, well, in that case, definitely because she wanted summat else.’ She grinned at him and he felt himself smiling sheepishly back at her. ‘That’s what you’d call a proposition, and if she didn’t want any money from you,’ she added, ‘it’s definitely because she’d tekken a fancy to you.’ She waved a finger at him. ‘However! Watch out, cos a lass as bold as that can trick you and tie you down and expect you to set up house wi’ her.’

  Mikey nodded. That was probably what Bridget wanted. Or at least to get away from home. He contemplated. It wasn’t what he wanted. The more he thought about it the more he wanted to leave this town and find adventure. ‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘That’s what I thought.’

  Milly got up from the chair. ‘I’ll have to go. I’ve not earned any money tonight. Keep an eye on ’bairn, will you? I’ll just be outside.’

  ‘What if he wakes up?’ he said in alarm. ‘I might be asleep.’

  She waved an airy hand. ‘He’ll wake you. He meks a racket like ’artillery.’ She glanced over towards the makeshift cot. ‘He’s ’best bairn in ’world,’ she said softly. ‘And one day he’ll mek his ma’s fortune.’

  Mikey slept like a baby himself. He opened his eyes once and saw the bare feet of the women as they sat round the table, and then he dropped off again. He felt safe and secure huddled into the blanket, and didn’t wake until dawn crept in and he blinked as the early sunlight touched his face. He turned over and saw Milly asleep in a chair with her head bent over the child in her arms. One breast was bare as if she had been feeding him, and he thought sadly of his mother, whom he remembered feeding Ben and Tom when they were little.

  I’ll try to do right, Ma, he offered up on a silent prayer. I’ll not do anything to disgrace your name, even though I’ve already been in prison. But I’ve a life to lead, and a living to make, and it’ll not be easy to keep on ’straight and narrow. I’ll try to make something of myself without harming anybody.

  Milly stirred. Opening her eyes, she saw Mikey and covered her breast. It seemed a modest thing to do, he thought, considering the kind of work she was in. She gazed at him and he saw defiance.

  ‘Sorry,’ he murmured. ‘I didn’t mean to stare.’ He swallowed, half in embarrassment and partly with the need to explain. ‘But you look beautiful.’

  She gazed at him, and then shook her head. ‘What a strange lad you are, Mikey,’ she said softly. ‘Nobody has ever said that to me before.’

  CHAPTER TEN

  Mikey stayed with the women for three days. They’d insisted that he did. ‘You’re still upset about losing your ma,’ Sissy told him. ‘Stop wi’ us for a couple o’ days until you feel better. We’ll feed you and you can sleep here nice and safe and run errands to pay us back. How does that sound?’

  It sounded good to him, for he was very weary and overcome with emotion. He was comfortable with this band of women. Six of them stayed at the house, and others came and went. Some of them he shrank from for they were coarse, with evil manners and voices, and dirty in their habits. But the others, Milly, Peg and Sissy, did attempt to keep clean, pumping brackish water into the kitchen sink and washing their hands and faces. Sometimes they stripped off their outer garments and then he made an excuse to go out. He saw them smile as if they knew why, but they didn’t say anything to embarrass him.

  On the fourth morning, which was bright and sunny but windy, he decided to leave. He folded up the blanket and put it over his shoulder. ‘I’m going,’ he said. ‘Thank you for letting me stop, but I’d best be on my way.’

  ‘Oh, Mikey,’ Milly said. ‘We’ll miss you, and so will little Walter.’

  Mikey stroked the child’s cheek. ‘I’ll miss him too.’ He smiled. ‘He was just getting to know me. I’ll come and see you if I’m this way again.’

  ‘If you mek your fortune you won’t want to,’ Peg said sagely. ‘You’ll not want to be seen wi’ likes of us.’

  ‘Unless we can help you in any way, Mikey,’ Milly said cheekily. ‘I’d be happy to oblige.’

  He flushed. ‘I’ll remember that,’ he said, and then grinned. ‘I might tek you up on ’offer.’

  ‘Do,’ she bantered. ‘It’ll be my pleasure and I’ll give you a special rate!’

  Whatever would my ma think, he wondered as he left the house and ran down the steps. Would she be mad at me or would she be pleased that they’d looked after me? For that was what they had done. They’d taken him into their care when he was feeling sad and vulnerable. Bridget’s mother had taken him in too, but she was quick to blame
and not charitable enough to listen or understand.

  So which way shall I go? Shall I set off for London or go to York? York is nearer and I could walk there if I can’t get a lift. But will there be work? There’ll be work in London; sure to be. But how to get there? He rubbed his chin and set off through the town, avoiding any thoroughfares where he might have been seen by neighbours or people who knew him, such as Bridget or her mother, or even his sister Rose.

  If I had some money I could catch ’ferry to New Holland and go to London that way. That’s ’quickest route unless you’re lucky enough to afford ’train, which I’m not.

  ‘Mikey! Mikey!’

  He turned as the voice called him. ‘Please don’t let it be Bridget,’ he muttered. ‘I’ll never get rid of her.’ He turned and saw her waving, but it wasn’t Bridget calling his name. It was Milly, and she reached him first.

  ‘Mikey! Phew! I thought I’d never catch you.’ Milly was breathless. ‘Look,’ she panted. ‘We had a collection for you when we realized that you hadn’t any money. Here.’ She thrust a fist towards him. ‘Two bob and threepence.’ She grinned. ‘Don’t know how far you’ll get on that.’

  He took the money and impulsively kissed her. ‘Thanks. I’ll get to London now,’ he said eagerly. ‘That’s what I was planning. Do you think it’s enough for ’ferry across ’Humber? I can walk ’rest of way.’

  ‘Walk!’ she said incredulously. ‘How brave you are, Mikey. Wait till I tell ’other lasses. They’ll be that proud!’

  ‘Well,’ he said bashfully, ‘that’s ’intention, anyway!’

  ‘Wait,’ she said and fished in her skirt pocket. ‘Here. Another penny. No, tek it. I’ll mek some more tonight.’

  He wavered. It didn’t seem right. Ill-gotten gains; money for – money for … But she was gone, a quick wave and a garbled excuse that she had to get back to Walter, and he was left holding a handful of coins.

  ‘Mikey.’ Bridget came over. ‘Who was that?’