Twelfth of Never (Book 3 of the McKay series)

by Hestand, Rita

  "But Julie…" Wendy began only to be cut off.

  "I said shut up and listen." Julie's eyes were like glass shards. "You think you know so much, little girl. You don't know anything. You didn't go off and have a baby alone, did you. At least not yet. And not ever if I have anything to do with it. I've been there. I was alone. By myself, trying to make a living for myself and my child. No one gave me anything, and I didn't expect to have anything. I earned it. I learned the hard way. I almost threw a lifetime of love away by not seeing the truth. But you aren't so far gone you can't be saved. And I'm going to save you. Right now you are all talk. From now on, you won't go out of this house without someone seeing and approving of the way you dress. If I hear one word from anyone on this ranch of you acting like some cheap little hussy, I'll put you off this ranch so fast your head will swim. And you won't inherit a dime. I promise you that. Not one dime. Now you straighten your act up now and there won't be any more trouble…understood?"

  "You can't talk to me like this! You can't order me around, and tell me what to wear. Why…Letty gave me these shorts."

  "Too bad. I'll burn them before you will wear them again." Julie smiled.

  "You wouldn't dare!" Wendy's eyes got big.

  "Try me, little sister. I'll do anything it takes to tear this little creature down and bring back my sweet little sister," Julie informed her. "If you really want to be a whore, then get out of here, right now!"

  Sandy stood behind them, hearing every word and not believing it. She didn't know which way to go. On one hand she felt sorry for Wendy, and on the other she knew Julie was entirely right in treating her this way.

  "Being sexy is not being a whore!" Wendy defended.

  "No, wearing decent shorts is fine, and look at you, your breast are practically on a platter for any man to ogle."

  "What do you care? What does anyone care? Daddy's gone…he's the only one that loved me."

  "Really? Think again, young lady. I'd do anything I have to, to protect my little sister. Try me!" Julie's eyes were wild with anger.

  "But I love Wade…this is the only way he seems to understand I'm a grown woman," Wendy protested. "He never looked at me twice in the clothes I used to wear." Wendy's tears trickled down her cheek.

  "No, this is nothing more than temptation. Any man can give into that. Trust me, I know. If you really want Wade you are going to have to grow up, Wendy. If a man sees a woman as a tramp, he reacts that way himself. But you my dear little sister are no tramp, you are a tease, and I won't have it. Dad didn't build this ranch to see it fall down by the antics of a star struck little girl. Get the stars out of your eyes. Focus on working, building, making something of yourself. In the long run, that will get his attention. And you're going to help with my kids too. Every weekend."

  Wendy hung her head. "You don't understand. It wasn't working. I spent years doing everything that man asked me to. I was his slave, and he knew it. If he wanted me to jump through fire, I would have. I've loved him so long. But he wasn't having any of the little good girl. He wants a woman of the world."

  "Wade doesn't talk much, and that's a pity. But he's not that much unlike his brother. Love isn't obtained by make-up, short-shorts, or flirting. Love is something that is earned. That grows as time goes by. Sex is a good thing, but it's not love, Wendy. And when you've found the right man, you'll know it. Has it ever occurred to you, even once that Wade might not be the right man for you?"

  "Well, he has to be…" Wendy frowned. "I've spent way too much time getting his attention."

  "Sure you have…but if he really loved you, you'd have had his attention way before now. Don't you see that? No, Wade hasn't found the right woman for himself yet. He's too bent on making this ranch the best it can be. He's a hardworking man, who has had little reward for all the work he's done. But Wendy, all of us feel he doesn't love you. And you can't make a man love you, no matter how much you take off or put back on. He's too old for you, honey. He really is. And he knows it. That's why he hasn't asked you to marry him. He won't ever ask you."

  Wendy hung her head and the tears began to pour from her. "I can't lose him, after all this time."

  "Honey, you never had him in the first place. That's the truth and I know it hurts. Now you put on your regular clothes, and go back to work and forget this. And remember, you aren't his slave. He works for you. Just don't be cruel with that information either. When true love comes you won't have to earn it. It's given freely."

  "But if not Wade then who?" Wendy asked innocently.

  "I don't know. But there's bound to be someone out there for you. And if you do have any trouble with Wade about this, let me know. I'll set him straight. Understand?" Julie ordered once more.

  Wendy nodded, belligerently.

  Sandy sighed. Julie had saved the day!

  Chapter Fourteen

  Letty and Julie patrolled the ranch house and Wendy for a while, making sure she understood the rules. At first she balked, but then she began to drift back to the old Wendy everyone knew and loved. It was a hard lesson for her to learn, but as time went on she realized how right they were. Even though she was depressed more, she was acting and reacting like her old self.

  Sandy was sad too. Dodger was no longer there to greet her every morning. And the lack of a dog made Sandy sadder. She spent more time in the barn now, with Sugarfoot. Animals were an important part of her life. Maybe she over-reacted to Dodger dying. Maybe she should have listened to Mike's explanation, but at the time she was emotionally over wrought.

  She still hadn't forgiven Mike. It was all so unlike him. To think he was drunk and driving the car. And to think he killed Dodger made Sandy forlorn. Mike was her friend too, until the accident. Now loneliness filled her like she had never known.

  She not only lost her best animal friend, she lost her best human friend too. Mike!

  She missed him, more than she cared to admit. She wished he had explained a little more about the accident. But then, she hadn't given him much chance to say anything. She could see the distress on his face, even now. It was almost as if he cared as much as she did.

  It would be a long time before she could forgive him, but it didn't stop her missing him.

  Chad came over one afternoon and brought another dog for her. Sandy was shocked and pleased that he had worried so much about her.

  "You shouldn't have done that," Sandy said looking at the lop-eared pup with fondness as he licked her square on the mouth.

  "Of course I should have. I wanted to make it up to you," Chad said. "I know how upset you are about the dog. I should have been driving that day. I knew Mike had been drinking."

  "Why, you didn't kill Dodger, Mike did," she proclaimed as she pet the dog and threw a ball for him to fetch. "And even though it was an accident, he barely said anything that evening. I mean, he apologized, but there was something so wrong with his apology. Either that or I was just too emotional to appreciate it."

  Chad's face paled. "Yeah…well, he's my brother. I had to do something, or you'd never forgive him."

  "I'm not forgiving you, it's Mike I have to forgive," she reminded him. "And until he faces me with it and asks me, I'm not sure I will forgive him."

  "Yeah, but doesn't this help?" He threw the ball for the pup too.

  She watched the puppy run after the ball and race back with it between his teeth. "What shall we name him?"

  "How about Fetch?" Chad laughed.

  "Sounds like that might fit." Sandy laughed.

  "I've missed you. I began to worry…" Chad changed the subject quickly. "It's been too long. We just live a few miles from each other. I don't know why you insisted on not coming over for a while. My folks ask about you every day."

  "Chad…I…I have had some second thoughts," Sandy admitted.

  He looked deep into her eyes; he cupped her chin and stared at her. "Why? We are great together and you know it."

  "Chad…" She looked at him seriously. "Do you really love me?"

&
nbsp; "Of course I do." He didn't hesitate to confirm it. "How can you doubt it?"

  He motioned at the puppy and she smiled.

  "Bringing me a puppy, doesn't say I love you," she said. "I sort of expected you to overwhelm me with kisses since we haven't been together in a while."

  "I can oblige that," he said pulling her into his arms once more.

  Sandy wasn't upset he was kissing her; she was upset that she felt nothing when he did.

  Why wasn't she all over him? Why wasn't she excited to be with him? She knew the answer to that too, and it saddened her.

  "Chad," she pulled away from him to look at him.

  "Okay babe, what's up?" Chad asked.

  "I don't know how to say this. I don't know how to explain it. Or where to begin. But my sister recommended that I stay away from you for a while, to verify my feelings. And…" She paused looking into his face. "I have…"

  "So…?" Chad pet the puppy for a moment then turned to her. "So tell me how much you missed me. Or better yet, show me." He pulled her tighter and was about to kiss her.

  "I did miss you, but…Chad, I can't marry you."

  Chad grew very still. He was sitting beside her on the couch, holding her and suddenly he was on his feet. "What do you mean?"

  Sandy stood up and faced him, looking him in the eyes. "I found out I don't love you, Chad."

  "Sandy…you aren't serious. We've got our lives planned out. Everything is going to work out for us. Why are you trying to screw things up?"

  Taken aback by his reaction, Sandy stepped backwards. "I'm not trying to screw anything up. I wanted to be sure of my feelings. I had some doubts. Now I know that I'm not in love with you. And I would never marry unless I was."

  Chad doubled his fist, and stretched himself. His temper was flying all about the room, bouncing against the walls.

  Sandy hadn't seen him like this before, and she almost regretted telling him.

  "Isn't it better we figure this all out before we marry, than after?" she suggested.

  Chad turned red, and then glared at her. "You spend a couple of weeks away from me and decide you don't love me? This makes no sense. What happened in those weeks?"

  Sandy flopped down on the couch once more. "When you love someone Chad you want to be with them all the time. You don't need a break to figure it out. Come on, you rushed me ever since you came home. You overwhelmed me. And you knew it. I was impressed with your military record, the fact that you were a hero and that you had ambition, and drive. But when I got away from you for a while, I realized it was all like some wild hype I was on. I am proud of you. I do think you will make some woman very happy. I just don't think it's going to be me…"

  "What about our plans?" he asked as though he just remembered them.

  "I'm sorry. I like you, I really do. No…I love you, but not like that. But…I just can't marry you, Chad."

  "Is there someone else?"

  Sandy paused, wondering if that niggling in the back of her mind was real. "Maybe, I don't know."

  "Don't do this…" He stomped about the room like a caged tiger. "You can't do this to us. We are perfect for each other. Both going into medicine, we had everything laid out for us."

  Sandy opened her mouth to say something, and then shut it. Then she asked, "If I had no money to speak of, would you be so thrilled to marry me?"

  "Oh, that's it! It's the money, isn't it? I thought that might put a damper in our plans, but you can stop worrying. Once I'm a doctor I can pay you back, if that's what is worrying you so much. But Sandy, it's not like I planned to squander your money. I'd be earning an education that would set me up for life. I could support you with my own money, afterwards. Geez, I thought we had the same goals," he protested. "I thought you understood."

  "You didn't answer my question," she began.

  "It would be harder to make it through school, without the money, I'll admit that. You know that. I got a GI bill that would support me a little, but it wouldn't come near the kind of money it takes to be a doctor. And yes, I thought you cared enough for me to want to see me succeed in life. To make a better life for us both. But the money had no bearing…on marrying you. I thought you trusted me…loved me."

  "I thought I did…"

  Seeing his surprise and shock made her feel miserable.

  "When I told your parents I wanted to be a vet, they acted as though that was nothing. As though my going to school and working toward a career had no bearing. They were only interested in your career. They weren't even proud I wanted to help out too. They never once acted as though I were important in your life. Only you. They are so one sided, I'm not sure I could live in a family like that. One day I'd probably have some kind of fit."

  "Does this have anything to do with that damn dog?" Chad burst out.

  The blood instantly rushed from his face, and his eyes took on a glassy look.

  "What are you talking about?"

  "Don't play innocent with me. Did Mike tell you? I should have known, he's always been so jealous of me. I killed your dog. I ran over him. I had been drinking and there was a highway patrol on the street when it happened. During impact, the bottle I had spilled all over Mike. He tried everything to revive the dog. He was even doing some sort of mouth to mouth. It was just too late. He couldn't save it. Mike insisted on taking full blame as I already had one DUI. So I let him."

  When he saw her face, her surprise and shock, he went on to explain.

  "My parents would have never understood why I was going to jail. It would have been an embarrassment for them. Mike knew that. That and he knew you'd take the dog's death hard. He was just a stupid dog…" Chad yelled.

  "What are you saying? You killed Dodger?" Sandy's eyes grew wide with astonishment.

  "I told you…it was an accident. I brought you another dog…I thought you'd appreciate that," Chad said, staring at her.

  "You didn't even come to the house to explain. You let Mike take the blame for it all? How could you be so irresponsible?"

  "Mike didn't mind. He knew my folks would be upset. He knew I could get in a lot of trouble. He's covered up a lot since I've been home. Well, stop looking at me like that; I damaged my car with that dumb dog…"

  Sandy's mouth fell open. "And I blamed him, for it all. He barely said a word except he was sorry. I've wrong him…"

  "Well, you don't have to worry about that, he isn't around anymore. He moved a few days ago."

  Sandy stood up and faced him once more. "Moved? Where did he go?"

  "I don't know. I didn't ask. Probably on another shoot, how would I know?" Chad shook his head. "I can't believe you are destroying all our hopes and dreams over a dog."

  "Chad, it isn't fair."

  "What?" He frowned at her.

  "You've been so spoiled by your parents, and even Mike that you won't even take responsibility for what you've done. You let your brother take it for you. He must love you so much."

  Chad stared a little wildly at her now, as though it never crossed his mind.

  "Mike and I have always been close…" he began. "I've hated it every time he goes away to work. I miss him. But he goes, nonetheless, and leaves me there to listen to my parents. Every day I was gone, I was hoping things had changed at home. That mom and dad would see that I was just one of their kids. They never did. They lavished attention on me. When I went in the service, my old man was so proud he told the entire town. When I got that Purple Heart he spread the news before I even came home. When I announced we were getting married, he had that news broadcast too. I could see the relief in their eyes once they realized you were going to help me get through medical school. I knew how much a burden I'd become to them. Their son the doctor, their son the hero, their son the college graduate. They never had a lot to brag about, but it was up to me to give that to them. I wanted them to be proud of me. But…I was wrong to depend on your inheritance to get me through college, I know that now. I do love you Sandy, for your openness, your willingness to share so much w
ith me. I saw us as the perfect couple. It didn't matter if there were no bells when I kissed you. What mattered was we were going to make it together."

  Sandy took his hand in hers and turned it so she could pull her ring off her finger. "Maybe this will help with the college bills." She slowly put the ring in the palm of his hand.

  "I couldn't even afford that." He smirked closing his hand over the ring.

  "Many people, even poor people manage to go to college. If they really want it." Sandy smiled sadly at him.

  "I really do…" he murmured, then pulled her into his arms. "I'll never forget my almost bride."

  She smiled against him. "Thanks for that…"

  "Can you forgive me for the dog?" he asked.

  She glanced up at him. "For the dog…yes. For the lie…I'm not sure. It might take a while. And somehow, someday, I've got to set things right with Mike."

  He nodded. "I guess I deserved that. I didn't want him to take the blame, but he kept saying how the folks would react with such shock, and how they might not help me through medical school."

  "Did Mike say where he was going?" Sandy asked. "Leave any hints?"

  "No, he just packed up one day and headed out." Chad shrugged. "He'll be fine. He's a good photographer."

  "Did you ever tell him that?" she asked wistfully.

  "Well…No…I was too busy siding with my parents about his failure to go to college. Truth is he makes almost as much as a doctor. I knew that. I was jealous of him, having all those beautiful girls every day to work with. Being his own boss, going his own way. But the funny thing is, you'd never know it. Mike is my bro. And despite what you think of me, I love him. He'll be back someday. I know it."

  "He must hate me…" Sandy murmured.