“I was plannin’ on an actual meal, but was told this would be better to woo you with.” He hands me a cup of sparkling cider.
“You were told, huh?”
“That’s right.” He grins. “By a very wise woman, so I thought it was best if I took her advice to heart.”
I hide my smile behind the lip of my cup. “Reed Stanton, did you ask your mama for help with this date?”
“I figured it was worth the risk.”
“What’s the risk of goin’ to your mama?”
“Well, there’s one of two possibilities. The first is that come Monday, you’ll be tellin’ the whole school how much of a Mama’s Boy I am.” He pops a grape in his mouth, chewing slowly.
“And the second?”
“The second is you’ll be tellin’ them you’re mine.”
My stomach jolts with butterflies.
He leans in closer. “Now, I may be biased, but I’m hopin’ for number two.”
Heat rises to my cheeks as I open my mouth to respond, but he puts a finger over my lips. “I know you wanna profess your love now, but I need you to keep me on my toes. I thrive under pressure.”
He moves his finger, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he watches me throw my head back and laugh. “Lord, you’re cocky.”
He chuckles. “Always confident, never cocky. How do you think I win us all those games?”
Before long the sun dips below the water, the moon rising to take its place. I drain the last of my cider and lie back on the blanket.
“Gorgeous out here, isn’t it?” Reed settles in next to me, reaching for my hand. He laces our fingers together and it feels... nice. “I always love comin’ out here when it gets dark. There’s just somethin’ about how bright the stars shine, you know?”
I hum my agreement, staring up at the sky. It’s been the perfect date. Thoughts of being Reed Stanton’s girl should be the only thing in my head.
But they’re not.
Instead, my mind is filled with all the nights I held another boy’s hand, under a glow ‘n stick sky, telling him he was bigger than the stars.
7
Chase
Eighteen Years Old
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the picture of self-control. Since finding out Goldi’s going on a date, I’m starting to understand people who let emotions rule their life. I guess when it comes to her, I’ve always been weak.
I knew it was a dick move earlier. I could see the confusion in her eyes as my words promised things that my actions contradict. Swear to God, I tried to stay away tonight. I attempted to drown out the thoughts with the sound of hammers and drills, but nothing worked. So here I am, waiting in her room, leg bouncing and gut burning.
The ticking of the clock on her wall is the only sign the night is getting shorter, and the date is getting longer. The silence leaves me space to ruminate in thoughts of where they are—what they’re doing.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
I’ve been torturing myself for years. Creating boundaries. Keeping her placed firmly as “little sister’s best friend,” refusing to let myself have her because it will hurt too bad when she leaves.
Everybody always leaves.
But I didn’t realize it would be like this. Like my world is breaking apart at the thought of someone else getting to touch her, feel her, love her.
A car door slams. My feet move before I can stop them, taking me to the window. Reed helps her out of the car and I watch as they walk up to the porch, my stomach sinking as I see her beaming smile aimed at him.
Fuck.
He’s looking down at her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I grip the window pane, physically restraining myself from jumping through the glass and breaking all his fingers. My chest grows tight, body trembling as a sheen of sweat breaks across my brow. Don’t kiss him, Goldi.
She does.
I’m in a special kind of hell. Must be karmic retribution from when I sat across from Goldi while Suzy Albott had her hand down my pants, whispering in my ear how she wanted my cum on her tongue. I ignored Goldi on purpose that night, pissed off she was cozied up to Ricky Walker. But I saw her watching. I saw her stand up and drag Ricky away, disappointment and hurt marring her perfect fucking face.
I’m brought out of my regrets when I see her break the kiss. Finally.
Reed whispers something that makes her smile, and I imagine the blush that’s blooming on her cheeks for him. My arms strain, fighting the urge to reach out and steal the color for myself.
She walks inside, and I glare at him until he’s back in the car. I watch until taillights disappear down the street. That’s right, fucker. Go home and don’t come back.
“Chase, what the heck are you doin’ here?”
I spin around, my chest squeezing at the sound of her voice. She has no idea how much she affects me. “Hey. Thought I’d stop by… see how your date went.”
She makes a sound of disbelief. “Really?”
A thousand words are on the tip of my tongue, dying to break free. He fucking kissed you. Did you like it? Did you think of me at all?
I lay down on her bed, propping my arms behind my head, hoping she can hear my questions through the silence. I’m not sure I’d even want the answers.
She glances toward her door before walking over to the stereo and turning on music. I smirk. Her room is on the other side of the house, but she’s always afraid her parents will hear.
“Well, it went great, if you must know.”
“Where’d he take you?”
“Down to the lake. We had a picnic.”
“Original.”
“It was romantic.”
The sting of teeth biting through my cheek is the only thing that keeps me from losing my shit. “Are you planning on seeing him again?”
A halo of hair whirls around her as she spins to face me. Damn, she’s pretty.
“What’s it to you? You know, this overprotective big brother act is gettin’ old, Chase. You might want to spend more time worryin’ about your real sister, instead of who’s dippin’ into my panties.”
I should ask what the hell she means about Lily, but the visual of someone getting anywhere near her panties pumps rage through my blood until I can’t think straight.
I jump up, stalking toward her. “Did you let that motherfucker touch you?”
“That’s none of your business.” Her voice is a whisper now, bravado singed away by the flames of my jealousy.
“Everything about you is my business, don’t you know that? Don’t you get it yet?”
“What is there for me to ‘get’, Chase?” She throws her hands up. “I can’t do this anymore. You don’t want me in the daytime, and I don’t wanna be your dirty little secret at night.”
Fear of losing her chokes me, even as I remind myself it’s what’s best. “I’m not the right kind of person for you, Goldi. Believe me, I try every day to become something better. Something more.” The thump of my fist smacking my chest makes her flinch. “Whether I want to be around you has nothing to do with it.”
“You only want to be around me when it’s beneficial for you.”
My eyebrows raise. “Do you think it’s easy for me to stay away from you?”
“Yes! I think it’s easy!” she explodes, bringing her hands up to push me. “I think it’s easy for you to climb in my window, as long as no one sees.”
She pushes me again. “I think it’s easy to drop my friendship and then pick it up when it suits you.”
She pushes a third time. “I think it’s easy for you to mess with any girl that has a pulse, and not care how it cuts me up inside.”
This time, I grab her hands before they hit, jerking her body until she’s flush against me. She whooshes out a breath.
I can taste it on my lips.
The thread holding my restraint frays and snaps.
My hand grasps the nape of her neck at the same time she surges up, our teeth clacking together as we fumb
le to get closer, to taste deeper. My tongue licks the saltiness of tears from her lips, and I swallow her moan.
She’s climbing my body. I hoist her up, legs wrapping around my waist, her ass fitting fucking perfectly in my hands. We move until I hit the edge of her bed and fall back, the hem of her dress bunching up as she straddles my thighs. Her hips rotate, grinding down. I groan, my eyes rolling at the friction.
Gripping her hips tightly, I help her find a rhythm.
Goddamn.
I’m not even inside her and I could come from how good she’s working me. My hand slides up her thigh and under her dress, teasing the edge of her cotton panties. She whimpers and shifts, and the tips of my fingers brush against her. She’s fucking soaked. My cock pulses, pre-cum dripping out and sliding down the length.
I glide my other hand along her spine, tangling it in her hair, wrapping the strands around my fist. She gasps as I pull her head back firmly, exposing her throat.
I rest my thumb against her fabric-covered clit. “Did he touch you here?”
“What?” She’s breathless, pushing her cunt into my hand, greedy as hell for what she knows I can give her.
“Did. He. Touch. You. Here?” I press down, teasing her.
She moans, and I trail a line of kisses up her throat, unable to keep my lips from her skin now that I’ve had a taste. My grip on her hair tightens. “Answer me.”
“No,” she breathes.
The relief is sharp.
Pulling her panties to the side, I drag my fingers through her wetness. My mouth waters as I imagine tasting it on my tongue.
Her hand circles my wrist, bringing my fingertips to her mouth, sucking. She groans at the taste.
Holy shit.
I’m so hard it hurts, but I ignore the ache.
My fingers dip back down, circling her swollen clit then moving lower. Two of them slip inside easily because of how wet she is for me.
I tilt forward, nipping her lips with my teeth. “I want you to ride my fingers until you come all over them. Show me how good it feels, baby.”
She throws her head back, gasping as she rocks her hips faster. She’s close. Her breathing stutters and she moans my name, her juices gushing out to the pulsing of her orgasm.
She’s stunning.
Her hair is still fisted in my hand and I lean up, sucking on her neck, making sure to leave a mark.
Mine.
My abs contort under my shirt as her hand sneaks down my torso, palming me through my jeans. Her touch feels so damn good, but if she doesn’t quit massaging my cock, I’m going to throw her down and fuck her so hard she’ll break. The music muffles our sounds, but her parents would definitely hear that. Reluctantly, I release her hair and reach down to stop her.
“Please,” she whispers. “I want to.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want your first time to be like this. You deserve soft and sweet, Goldi, and that’s not me. You know that’s not me. But I’m gonna try like hell to give it to you.”
She freezes, teeth indenting her lower lip. “You… I…” She runs her fingers through her tangled hair. “Chase, I’m not a virgin.”
My body jerks off the bed. Goldi falls to the side from the sudden movement. “Who the fuck with?”
She rolls onto her back, her hands smacking down on the mattress. “No! You don’t get to ask me that! I’m not over here askin’ for your list of a thousand hussies.”
My teeth grind so hard they’ll turn to dust any moment. I breathe deep, attempting to calm the beast inside. It’s true. I have no right. But I feel fucking ill. I was too much of a pussy to take what should have been mine, and she gave it away to someone else.
I tug my hair, sighing. “You’re right.”
She props up on her elbows, fighting the smile that’s curling her mouth. “That’s usually the case.”
I bend down, leaning over the bed until my arms are on either side of her head. “Let’s talk about more important things, like how sexy you look when you come.”
She giggles, reaching up, and sweeping a kiss across my lips. It’s just a peck, but my chest cracks wide open, flooding with happiness I’ll never deserve.
I can’t offer her anything, can’t give her the world. But I can’t let her go either, so I’ll lay my bruised soul at her feet, and hope she tends to the wounds.
It’s always been hers, anyway.
8
Alina
Sixteen Years Old
I’m Chase Adams’s girl.
Those are four words I never thought I’d say.
I can’t stop smiling. Last night, after the high wore off, I was terrified of him running again. After all, it’s what he’s programmed me to expect. Instead, he admitted how tired he was of fighting what’s between us. Said I was his and he was mine, and that’s all there is to it. Maybe it makes me a sucker, but I believe him. Chase is a lot of things, but he’s never been a liar.
“So, let me get this straight, Alina May.” Becca squints while she sits on the brown leather couch in my living room. “You went out and had an amazin’ date with Reed. Gorgeous, charmin’, totally fuckable, Reed. Am I right so far?”
“Yep.”
“He wooed, you swooned. He was a perfect gentleman, not even sneakin’ a titty grab all night and then… Bam!” She smacks her hands together. “The King of Assholes waltzes in, only after someone else shows interest, by the way, and you just jump in his arms and run off to live happily-ever-after?” Her voice is pinched, eyebrows raised so high they blend into her fiery hairline.
I sigh. “Becca, it’s not like that.”
“Then what’s it like?”
“Listen, I like Reed. I truly do, and in a perfect world where my head rules my heart and not the other way around, he’d be the best choice for me. But Chase is my person, Becca. If he’s willin’ to give us a chance, I have to see where it leads. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, otherwise.”
“Look, all I’m sayin’ is this thing with Chase—it has heartbreak written all over it, sister. I’ve watched you pine for years while he tore you up, and I’m supposed to, what? Just forget all that, and suddenly be okay with this? No,” she shakes her head, “I don’t think I can.”
“I’m not askin’ you to. Honestly, Becca, it’s not your choice. I’ve wanted Chase to be mine for as long as I can remember. I don’t think I’ll ever feel for anyone a fraction of the way I feel for him. He’s it for me.”
“He has issues, Alina.”
“Who doesn’t?”
She rolls her eyes and I snap. “Rebecca Jean, you’re my best friend, but I swear to all that’s holy if you don’t get off your high horse, and at least pretend to be supportive, I’ll kick your butt straight out that door.” I point toward the front entry, disappointment coloring my insides because she can’t see how happy I am. “I’m not gonna sit here and justify my actions to you. Just ‘cause you have issues with commitment, doesn’t mean everyone else has to.”
She scoffs. “I don’t have issues with commitment. I just don’t do commitment. There’s a difference, honey. The church has me trapped enough.” She wrinkles her nose, placing a hand on my arm. “Look, I’m sorry, Lee. I just worry. But if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
I blow out a breath, “Thank you.”
“So… what was it like? And don’t leave out the details.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “I’ll just pretend when you talk about Chase’s dick that it’s Brad Pitt’s.”
I grab a throw pillow from beside me and toss it at her, laughing.
The doorbell rings. I get up to answer. Becca follows, saying she needs to get going before her folks send out a search party. I open the door and find Chase, one arm raised along the frame, his body towering over mine.
“Hey.” His grin is wide, those dang dimples on full display.
“Hi.” My stomach flutters, lips curling.
He doesn’t move to step inside, and I don’t move to let him. We just stand in the doorway, smiling wi
de, locked in the others’ gaze.
Becca chuckles. “Good God Almighty, y’all make me sick.”
We ignore her.
“Okay, okay, I can take a hint. Lee, call me later, babe.” She squeezes past Chase, waving her hand behind her as she walks down the drive.
I mumble a goodbye, my eyes never straying from Chase.
He finally moves, his hand reaching out to lightly push my stomach, walking me back until I’m pressed against the wall. My heart dances so wild in my chest I’m afraid I’ll pass out. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his body, my breasts grazing his chest. My nipples harden at the contact, and a pulse of arousal shoots through me. He leans down and takes my lips in a kiss, different from the ones last night—sweeter. Still, when his tongue teases my mouth, my body vibrates with want.
He pulls away before coming back for a quick peck. Once… twice. “I’ve been thinking of your lips all damn day,” he growls, leaning in like he can’t stay away.
I think I might burst from happiness.
My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him down so I can deepen the kiss. He groans, his arm tightening around my waist as he lifts me. His hips push into mine, and I feel the outline of him through his jeans, hard and thick. I moan into his mouth, the ache sharpening between my legs. I think I might die if he doesn’t get inside me, but my head stops me from losing myself completely. I’m not ready for that. Not yet. Not until I know he won’t push me away again.
I pull back, his lips following mine in protest.
“Chase, we gotta stop. I don’t wanna be here when Mama and Daddy come home.”
He grips his hair, stepping back. “Shit, okay. We can go to my place to chill. Sam took Anna to work with him today, they’ll be gone awhile.”
“What about Lily?” My stomach knots thinking of what her reaction will be to Chase and me. Like everyone else, she assumes we grew apart as we got older, not realizing her brother was busy tangling up my soul with his.
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