Beneath the Stars

by Emily McIntire

  He shrugs. “What about her?”

  “I mean… is she home?”

  “Probably. Who knows with her these days?” His jaw clenches, sadness sweeping over his features. “I’m trying not to be so overbearing. Let her live her life.”

  Guilt stabs me for not voicing my worries. I promise myself that after we handle her finding out about us, I’ll bring it up. One thing at a time, Alina.

  “Do you, ya know, wanna tell her about us?” I break eye contact, peering down at my pink-sparkled toes. I guess the rips he caused on my insides are a little deeper than I thought because part of me is terrified he’ll want to keep me a secret.

  He tilts my chin up with his index finger. “I plan to tell everyone about us. I told you last night, I’m done fighting this. It’s us, now. Always.”

  My body releases the tension, relief flooding my veins.

  He pecks my lips again, trailing his hands down my arms until our fingers lace together. “How you feeling today, Goldi?”

  I smile up at him. “Just right.”

  He smirks, grabbing my hand and leading me out the door, making our way to his house.

  Lily is home, and she does not take the news well.

  I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t this. I watch her pace the living room, feet moving so fast I’m not sure how the rest of her body keeps up. She looks tired today, a raggedness to her features I’m not used to seeing her wear. Her dark brown hair hangs limp and stringy, no makeup on her face. The antithesis of what Lily Adams usually represents.

  “Lil, come on,” Chase pleads, standing in front of her.

  She stops pacing. “Don’t you ‘come on’ me, Chase. What am I supposed to do with this? I was having an okay day. Then in walks my brother, the one person I could always count on to put me first, and I find out my whore of a best friend has been stealing him out from under me all this time?”

  My heart drops through my stomach. Did she just call me a whore?

  Chase cuts his hand through the air sharply. “Put you first? Lil, you haven’t let me put you first in a while. Every time I try, you call me overbearing, so don’t play that card with me. And don’t call her that. You don’t get to act like you’re a victim, here. This has nothing to do with you, Lil.”

  “This has everything to do with me!” Her voice grates my eardrums, making me flinch. “She’s supposed to be my best friend! And you… you are supposed to be my brother. Didn’t you care at all about how this would make me feel?”

  Tears stream down her face, and while I can understand where she’s coming from, this reaction is extreme, to say the least.

  Chase breathes out, his shoulders falling as he walks toward her and takes her hands in his. “I’ll always be your brother. All I’ve ever wanted was to see you happy. Don’t you want the same for me? She makes me happy, Lil.”

  Lily sniffs, staring hard at the ground like she wishes it would open up and swallow her whole. Her words are a whisper, so soft I have to strain to hear them. “She’s going to take you from me. I can’t lose you, Chase. You’re the only thing that keeps me safe.”

  I feel awkward, standing behind them, watching as Lily’s scars from years I wasn’t a part of rip open and bleed out on the floor.

  Chase pulls her to him harshly, the muscles in his arms tensing as he hugs her tight. “You’ll never lose me, Lil. It’s you and me against the world. That’s never going to change, okay?”

  She nods against his chest.

  My body relaxes, tension I didn’t even realize I was holding melting away.

  Chase and Lily separate. He wipes the tears from her eyes before turning to wink at me. “You want something to drink?”

  I shake my head, still feeling off-kilter from Lily’s reaction. I’m looking at Chase but can feel the weight of her stare. When Chase goes toward the kitchen, I pivot.

  “Lily, I—”

  “Don’t,” she cuts me off, a look of disgust creeping over her face. “I thought I knew who you were. But looking at you now? I just see bumpkin trash.”

  Each word is a visceral pain making my stomach squeeze so tight I feel like I might throw up. She moves forward until she’s right in front of me, glaring. I try to focus on her words but my brain is too busy taking in her eyes. Have her pupils always been big like that? By the time I snap out of it, she’s done talking, looking at me like she’s waiting on a response. I have no idea what she just said. She rolls her eyes, knocking into my shoulder hard as she pushes past me, storming out the front door.

  9

  Chase

  Eighteen Years Old

  I stare at the letter in shock, paper crinkling as it sticks to my sweaty palms.

  Dear Chase,

  Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to Eastern Tennessee University.

  Accepted? I can’t believe it. When Sam and Anna asked what my plans were for the future, I was adamant about staying local and working at Sugarlake Construction. There’s no better way to learn a business than to be hands-on, and college was never even a whisper of a thought. They convinced me to apply, saying the company would always be waiting, and a degree in something like business management would strengthen my skills.

  I listened. Partly because I can’t stand the thought of disappointing them, and partly because at the time there wasn’t much—other than Lily—holding me here. But I never thought I would actually get in. How the fuck am I supposed to leave now that I finally have Goldi?

  “What’s that?” Jax peers over my shoulder, being a nosy fucker like usual.

  I ball it up quickly and push him back. “Jesus, get off my dick.”

  His eyes twinkle with mirth. “You’re right. I think that’s Alina’s job now, anyway.” He puts his hand over his heart. “Let me be the first to tell you how happy I am to finally give up the title.”

  My mouth tilts up. “Isn’t there some car that needs lubed or whatever the hell it is you do down at that shop?”

  He smirks. “Know a lot about lube jobs, do you?”

  “Why the fuck do I hang out with you?”

  He shrugs in response, reclining on the couch and spreading his arms over the back.

  I glance at the balled-up paper in my fist. It’s not a big deal.

  There’s a knock on the wooden frame of the house. I look up to see Goldi opening the screen door, and damn, she looks good. I haven’t slept with her. Fuck if I know why—because I’m a moron who clearly loves to torture himself? I get the sense she’s afraid of taking that final step. So, I’ll wait. I’ll prove to her I’m not going anywhere. It’s not about her body anyway—it’s her soul that holds my interest.

  “Hey, I thought you would be with Lil today.” I give her a kiss, shoving the acceptance letter under the stack of mail before pulling her to sit on my lap.

  She gives Jax a small wave and turns her upper body to face me. Her hair brushes my neck, sending that vanilla shit she wears straight up my nose, making me grow hard underneath her. Clearly, even though my mind is on board with waiting, my body disagrees.

  “What?” Her eyebrows raise at me in surprise. “Why would I be with Lily?”

  “Because she’s your best friend? She told me she was going to Chattanooga with Becca, I just assumed you would be with them.”

  “Uhh… nope.”

  Moving the strands of her hair to the side, I kiss the base of her neck lightly. “What’s wrong?” My lips brush her skin with the question.

  She sighs. “Chase, Lily hasn’t had anything to do with me since she found out about us, and if I’m honest, she was rarely around before that.”

  I laugh because she has to be fucking with me. “What are you talking about? She’s always with you.”

  She shakes her head slowly. “No, Chase. She’s not. You knew she was lyin’ that day we showed up on your front door. You really thought that was a one-time thing?”

  I was so twisted up in Goldi’s date, I guess I glossed over that fact. My
eyebrows draw in. “If she isn’t with you, then who the hell is she with?”

  Goldi’s hands wring together, her teeth chewing on that puffy bottom lip of hers. She mumbles something, but I don’t hear it.

  “What’s that?” My tone is sharp. I’m not trying to be a dick, but I need her to get over whatever her issue is. Spit it the fuck out.

  “I said, I’m not sure, alright? A couple years back, she started seein’ this guy. He was no good.” She’s still shaking her head at me, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

  What? How could I not know this?

  “I never met him, but he was older—too old for her. She swore she stopped seein’ him, but all those weekends she said she was with us…” Her voice trails off, and my grip around her hips becomes tight. She squeaks, smacking my hands off her.

  “Fuck, I’m sorry, baby.” I brush my thumbs over the pink marks.

  She hums and leans back, running her fingers through my hair. Her touch is normally calming, but right now I feel like a live wire ready to explode. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?”

  She huffs. “You weren’t exactly by my side much these past few years. What was I gonna do, yell it across the neighborhood? I figured you already knew.”

  Jax clears his throat and my eyes snap over. I forgot he was even here. “Not to intrude on what is obviously a personal moment between you two, but I did see Lily with some loser the other day down by the shop.”

  “What the fuck, man?” My eyebrows rise. Does nobody tell me anything around here?

  He nods, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Yeah, bro. I was busy dealing with a customer, so I didn’t pay much attention, but now that I think about it, shit looked kind of sketchy.” He grimaces and rubs his hand on the back of his neck.

  “I think she may be on drugs,” Goldi blurts. Her eyes are wide, hands covering her mouth like she didn’t mean to say it.

  I chuckle, although this situation is the furthest thing from funny. “And how long have you been thinking this?”

  “I was fixin’ to tell you, I swear. It just never seemed like the right time.”

  I squeeze her thigh, tempering my agitation. “Lil would never do drugs, Goldi.”

  She nods. “I’m sure you’d like to believe that. But, Chase, I’m tellin’ you. Somethin’ is not right.”

  “I’ll talk to her, but I really think you guys are overreacting.” No way Lily’s doing drugs. She knows what they do to people, what they did to us.

  I could, however, see her dating some dickbag and not wanting to tell me, afraid of how I’d react. I’m not exactly known for my understanding and patience.

  I push down the dread creeping up my throat and reassure myself. There’s no fucking way she would get into shit like that. If she was having a hard time, she would come to me. It’s always been us against the world.

  I brush off their concern. They just don’t know Lily like I do.

  Jax hangs for a while longer before his mom calls him home. I figure now is as good a time as any to bring up ETU with Goldi. It’s not like I’m planning on going, but I don’t want to keep this from her.

  “No way, Chase. Not on my watch.” Goldi stares me down, hands on her hips, a serious expression on her face.

  “Baby, it’s not a big deal. I was never planning to go anyway. You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to leave town now that I finally have you.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Good Lord, get over yourself. It’s not across the country. It’s ETU—a little over two hours away.”

  “Two hours isn’t three houses down, Goldi. I don’t want to be that far from you. What if you decide you can’t handle the long-distance? What if something happens? I need to be here.”

  Her eyes soften as she puts her arms around my waist, kissing my chest through the fabric of my shirt. “That won’t happen. You can come down on weekends, I can come up. I won’t let you throw away college ‘cause of me.”

  I blow out a breath, resting my chin on the top of her head. Anxiety is twitching in my stomach, but I ignore it. I want to be a better man for her, someone she can be proud to have by her side. Maybe college is the right choice.

  I run my tongue over my teeth, leaning back to meet her eyes. “I’ll think about it.”

  A smile lights up her face as she raises up to kiss me chastely. “I’m really proud of you.”

  My heart pounds, a strange sensation filling me up. Nobody has ever told me that before. I like the way it feels.

  10

  Alina

  Seventeen Years Old

  It’s been six months since Chase left for ETU. I’m crazy proud of him, but it would be a lie to say it isn’t hard. When he was leaving, he swore he would be back every single weekend, but I don’t think either of us realized how unrealistic that is. Between him working to pay for his apartment, and me teaching dance to toddlers at the local rec on the weekends, time—and gas money—has been difficult to come by.

  I was planning to hop in my little Kia and drive up there at least once a month, but my folks said no way, no how, could I go without a chaperone. That’s where Jax comes in, I guess. I don’t know what he said to Mama, but she melted like butter and convinced Daddy that if Jax came along, it was okay to go. I about keeled over and died right there when they told me. Jax? A chaperone? I can’t believe it, but I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

  Jax and I don’t know each other all that well. After our first disastrous meeting when I was a fresh-faced fourteen-year-old, we didn’t talk. He became Chase’s best friend, and since Chase was set on ignoring my existence, we ran in different circles. We’re friends now, but it’s purely superficial. It’s strange being in a car with him without a buffer.

  Jax has one hand on the wood-rimmed steering wheel, and the other on the gearshift. He’s relaxed. Totally in his element, and I can see why he says cars are his calling.

  “What are you thinking about so hard over there, Alina May?”

  “What kind of car is this?” I look around the interior. It sure is pretty. When it comes to cars, I’m as dumb as a doornail, but I can feel the labor of love pouring out of these details.

  He caresses the dash with his hand, the sun glinting off the blond hair on his knuckles. “This is a ‘67 Mustang Fastback. She was my dad’s.”

  “Oh.” I get quiet, nervous to venture into this topic with him. Last time, it didn’t go so well.

  He peeks over at me, smirking. “Don’t worry, Alina. I’m not the same boy you met three years ago. It’s okay to bring up my dad, I’ve had time to work through my anger.”

  “Oh, good. That’s... good.” I nod my head, still unsure what to say.

  The conversation subsides, falling into a comfortable silence. My head rests against the window, staring at the billboards cruising by, Tim McGraw serenading us through the speakers.

  Jax turns the radio down, glancing over. “Let’s play twenty questions.”

  I lift my head off the glass, angling my body toward his. “Okay, I’ll bite. Who goes first?”

  “Ladies first, of course.” He tips his head.

  I tap my finger on my chin, pursing my lips. “What’s that necklace you’re always messin’ with?”

  He grabs the chain around his neck and pulls, two pieces of metal clanking together as they fall on top of his shirt. “Dad’s dog tags. He was a Marine.”

  “Oh, wow. That’s amazin’. Do you always wear ‘em?” I lean over, getting a closer look.

  “Never take them off. It makes me feel like a piece of him is still with me. Guiding me, you know?” He shakes his head, his shaggy hair falling from where it was tucked behind his ears. “Shit, that probably sounds stupid.”

  I have the dog tags in my hand now, thumb brushing over the raised lettering of his daddy’s name.

  RHOADES,

  JAMES A.

  “No, not stupid. I think it sounds real, and real is beautiful, Jax.”

  Emotion s
wirls in his eyes as he peers down at me.

  I drop the tags, leaning back to my side of the car. “Okay, next question. What’s your favorite food?”

  His eyebrow quirks. “Isn’t it my turn? This is your third question in a row. That’s cheating.”

  “You took too long, which means you forfeit your turn.”

  He barks out a laugh. “You didn’t even give me a chance, woman!”

  I lift my shoulders. “That sounds like a personal problem.”

  He’s grinning, his eyes on the road ahead. “Whatever you say. My favorite food? Crab Rangoon. All. Day. Long.” His tongue peeks out to lick his lips, and he moans like he’s in the throes of passion.

  My nose scrunches. “What’s that?”

  “Don’t tell me you’ve never had Crab Rangoon, Alina.”

  “Okay, I won’t tell you that.”

  “That is entirely unacceptable,” he tsks. “We were just becoming friends, too. It’s really a shame.”

  I laugh. “Well, I don’t know what you expect me to do about it right now.”

  “Next Chinese restaurant I see, we’re stopping. No matter the time or place. I’ll give your mouth the best experience of its life.”

  “Please, it can’t be that good.”

  “Oh, Alina… sweetheart, you just wait and see.”

  His happiness is infectious, and I face forward in my seat, trying to suppress my smile. I think I quite like being around Jackson Rhoades.

  We drive for another hour. There’s a giddiness in my chest as we arrive at Chase’s place. Other than the few and far between pictures he posts on Facebook, this is the first time I’ve seen where he lives. I reach in the back seat to grab my jacket. It’s too dang cold in February.

  Jax walks around to open my car door, ever the gentleman. He puts out his arm, winking when I take it. “You ready to go see your man, sweetheart?”