“What?” I try to scowl.
Chase’s smile widens. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.” I narrow my eyes, a grin taking over my face.
“Mmmm,” he hums. He steps closer, grabbing a mug and the coffee pot. His arm brushes against mine with the movement, and I suck in a breath. The fire in my body rages, still lit up from his earlier touch.
“You going to your dad’s tonight?”
I frown. I don’t want to think about Daddy or Eli right now. I’d much rather stay lost in my Chase bubble. “Nope. He’s got Eli here, what’s he need me for?”
Chase eyes me over the rim of his mug.
My throat tightens painfully. Eli hasn’t even tried to talk to me. I know he’s busy with Sarah and Daddy, but I thought he’d at least reach out. It’s sad—realizing you don’t know your own flesh and blood. His words from last night briefly run through my mind, but I brush them away. It’s not my fault I don’t know him. I won’t let him place blame on me for his distance.
Chase levels me with a knowing look. “I’ll be at Sam and Anna’s for most of the night, but call me if you need anything. Or if you just want to talk. Say hi. Let me hear your voice.”
I grin and his eyes spark. He leans in close, placing his coffee mug on the counter. “I better get back to work.”
I glance at his cup. He didn’t even drink any of it. His hand brushes against my side, squeezing. He walks away, smacking one of the guys playfully on the head on his way out.
It’s not until I get home from work that I find the courage to listen to Jax’s voicemail.
“Hey, sweetheart. Sorry I’m just returning your calls. I’ve been… well, you know. Anyway—” He clears his throat. “I miss you, girl. I was hoping you were free tonight and maybe I could swing by to talk? I don’t know. Let me know.”
I fumble with my phone, trying to get my fingers to work properly long enough to call him back, but he doesn’t answer. Of course. We’re forever playing phone tag. I send him a text instead.
Me: Yes! I’ll be home all night. You can stop by whenever. I miss you, too.
He doesn’t write back, but there’s a knock at the door a few hours later. I’m in pajamas—at the beginning stages of a movie marathon—a tub of ice cream in my hands. I jump up, nerves making me jittery.
I swing open the door. Jax is smiling. The sight of him makes my panic dissipate, and I sigh in relief. “Hiya, Teeth.”
“Hey, sweetheart. Big night planned?” He quirks a brow at my attire and I look down. There may or may not be a chocolate ice cream stain on my holey Sugarlake High dance team shirt, and I know my hair is a knotted mess on my head.
I shrug. “Ya get what ya get. Take it or leave it, buster. Wanna come in?” I open the door wider and he walks through, going straight to the couch and making himself comfortable. Good. This is a good sign.
I watch him closely as I sit down, folding my legs underneath me. He stares, his leg crossed over his knee, his arm thrown on the back of the couch. He seems relaxed. I chew on my lip, waiting for him to say something.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You’re making me tense, sweetheart. Cut it out. I’m not mad.”
I look up from where I’m picking at my fingers. “You’re not?”
“No. I mean… I was. I was pissed you’ve been spending time with Chase. But I just needed a few days to lick my wounds. Once I calmed down, I realized how much of a dick I was.”
“Jax, I was the one who said things to you I can’t take back. You’ve been everything to me for so long, and I’ve taken you for granted. And I’m sorry—” My voice breaks. “I’m so sorry for how I’ve made you feel.”
His eyes hold mine, emotion pouring out of them. “I forgive you. And I’m sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t come to me. Like you couldn’t tell me about Chase.” He leans forward, grabbing my hands in his. “You’re my best friend, Alina May. I love you. And even though I wish like hell you were mine, I’ll live the rest of my life happy as long as you’re in it.”
Relief floods through me, dousing the burning ache in my gut. I squeeze his hands. “You deserve the everything kind of love, Teeth.”
He chuckles, pulling back, but I grip his hands tighter. “You’ll find it someday. Mark my words, it’s gonna knock you on your booty, and I’ll be right there, front row. Cheerin’ for it the hardest. You just wait and see.”
A tear trails down his face and my heart twists. I’ve never seen Jax cry before.
“Damn, you’re a bitch. I can’t stay mad at you to save my life.” He laughs.
I want to grab his laughter and hold on for dear life because what I’m about to say might steal it away.
I cringe. “There is somethin’ you should know.”
He groans, throwing his body against the couch and running his hands over his face. “Don’t tell me, Lee.”
“I have to.”
“You’re back with him, aren’t you?” He peeks at me from between his fingers.
“I am, and I love you, Jax, but I won’t apologize for it.”
His hands drop into his lap, a sigh leaving his lips. “You don’t need to apologize to me, sweetheart. I just hope you know what the hell you’re doing. He doesn’t deserve you.”
I nod, knowing this was the way he’d feel. “The boy he was didn’t deserve me. But he’s changed, Jax. Truly. You should talk to him and you’ll see it, too.”
“Yeah, well… I’ll be at Sam’s retirement party next weekend, so I’m sure I’ll get my chance.” He grimaces. Clearly, he isn’t ready to forgive.
If I was a smart woman, I’d take this heavy moment between us and spill all my secrets. Tell him how Daddy’s a sea of struggle and I’m drowning in his wake.
But I don’t.
I’ve already seen the grief in his eyes tonight, I don’t want to see pity there, too. So instead, I press play on my remote, and we spend the rest of the night getting lost in tales with happy endings.
39
Alina
I’m fixing to snap on Regina. It’s not a good look as her employee, but if she doesn’t take a step away from Chase and put away that hoochie-mama cleavage, I may just lose it. I’ve been standing in the corner of the dance studio, watching them have a “meeting” for the past twenty minutes. Regina told me I could leave for the day, but fat chance of that with the way she’s been eyeing my man since she walked in.
I look her up and down. She’s attractive in a cougarish type of way. I thought she was married, but she isn’t wearing a wedding ring. I bet she just took it off.
Chase is taking me back to his place tonight for dinner, and instead of going home to freshen up like I originally planned, I’m here watching them like a jealous girlfriend.
I’m too far away to hear the conversation, but it doesn’t matter. I know he’s going over everything they’ve completed for the week. Regina wanted brand new floor-to-ceiling windows installed in the main dance studio. She said it would help drum up business if people on the street could look right in and see the classes. He installed them today, and of course, she just had to come in and see them. It makes sense, seeing as how this is her place. But did she really need to undo those extra buttons on her blouse beforehand?
I watch her giggle and preen for what feels like hours, until she finally leaves. But not before giving Chase her personal cell number just “in case he thinks of anything else he might need.” Please.
She breezes by, giving me a funny look and walking out the door. Chase stops in front of me, smiling like the cat that got the cream.
I cross my arms and scowl. “What are you lookin’ so pleased about?”
He glances at the front door. Once he sees the coast is clear, his hands go straight to my hips. He squeezes, leaning in and stealing a kiss. “Can’t I be pleased to see my woman?”
Butterflies go crazy in my stomach, but I maintain my glare. “I just don’t think you should encourage her, is all.”
>
“Who, Regina?” He laughs, backing up a step. “That woman’s been out to get me since day one, Goldi. Hate to break it to you. There’s no encouragement necessary.”
Huh. I guess I was so busy trying to ignore Chase that I missed the signs. Probably for the best. If I had noticed her salivating over him, it would have made me green with envy.
“Are you ready to go?” I don’t want to think about Regina anymore.
He leans against the wall. “What’s the rush?”
I shrug, my hands out to my sides. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Starving.” His eyes darken as he straightens.
He stalks toward me.
I take a step back.
He takes another step forward.
I stumble back another step.
I’m against the windows now, my hands pushing against his chest. “You’re gonna smudge the new windows.”
His head lowers and he nips my neck. “Don’t care.”
“Well, maybe I do,” I say, leaning my head to the side so he has better access.
“Mmm… seems like it.” He presses against me, flattening my back to the glass.
His palms move down my sides, his body following their trek. He drops to his knees, running the back of his hand up the inside of my leg. All the way up. My skirt bunches around my hips. The cool air blows through the red lace of my panties. Glad I wore my good underwear.
“What are you doin’?” I push on his shoulders halfheartedly.
“Eating.” He leans in and kisses my clit through the lace.
My muscles seize.
His hands glide along the outside of my panties, sliding them down my legs until they’re gone. I’m vulnerable. Exposed. At his mercy. His tongue meets my core. He’s all warmth and wet and I swear when he licks me from bottom to top and swirls his tongue around, I’m the closest I’ve ever been to heaven.
“I need… I need…”
“Tell me what you need, baby,” he murmurs. His tongue slides up my slit and hovers. Right next to where I really want him. So close to where I need him.
His nose brushes against me, and he moves it back and forth. “Fuck, you even smell perfect.”
I can’t find my words. I grab the back of his head, my fingers tangling through his hair as I pull him into me. He smirks against my skin, the scruff on his jaw scratching the inside of my thighs. Finally, his tongue goes where I desperately need him. Twirling around my clit.
Yes.
“Oh, God.” My eyes close, lost in the pleasure. He kisses down to my entrance, licking up my arousal.
One of his hands is on my stomach, pressing me firmly into the window. His other hand traces down my side, moving between my legs.
He pulls back. “You taste so fucking good, Goldi. Even better than I remember.” His fingers brush against me—lingering touches that don’t satisfy the ache.
My fingers tighten in his hair. “Chase, please…”
“Please, what?” One finger dips inside, barely. Teasing. Driving me insane. I fist my hair, delirious with want.
“Make me come… I–I need to come.” My body flushes red hot from my words. I’ve never talked dirty before.
Chase’s eyes sizzle and his fingers dive into me, curling in and hitting that spot. He sucks my clit into his mouth. Not licks. Sucks.
My head slams against the window and I bite my lip to stop the scream. Pressure builds low in my belly until I can’t focus on anything other than what he’s doing to me.
Just a little more.
His fingers scissor inside me and my hips jolt forward. I’m so far gone. I ride his face. I can’t help it. He groans again, the vibration sending ripples of pleasure spiraling up my body. The coil inside me tightens.
His touch disappears. I’m about to protest, but before I can, he grabs my hips, hoisting me up. My legs drape over his shoulders and just like that, he’s pinning me to the window. His hands underneath me and his face between my thighs.
The glass is cold against my heated skin. My head shakes back and forth, my body trembling. I’m so close. So close. He doesn’t put his fingers back inside me, but he doesn’t need to. One more pass of his tongue and I unravel.
The sensation shoots through me and my thighs tighten around his head. I feel him dive down, drinking up my juices. It’s dirty and perfect and makes me feel so, so hot.
Slowly, I come back down to Earth. Chase lowers my legs and settles back on his heels, grinning wide and licking his lips. His face is glossy from my orgasm, and I have the strongest urge to kiss it off his face. So I do. I launch off the window and into his arms, making him fall back from the force. I can feel how hard he is, his thickness pressing against me. Between that and the taste of my pleasure on his tongue, I’m ready for round two.
Eventually, I have to stop to catch my breath. Reason filters through me as I lay against his chest on the dance studio floor. I just let Chase eat me out against Regina’s brand new window, in broad daylight.
I don’t regret it. I’d let him do that to me anywhere.
My legs are still shaky as I stand and then bend to pick my panties up off the floor. I slip them back on and rearrange my skirt, finger-brushing my hair as I smirk at Chase. “Well, that was unexpected.”
“Best damn meal I’ve ever had.” He winks. “You ready to go? It’s my turn to feed you.”
I’m sure he means dinner, but the double entendre in his words has me thinking wicked thoughts. I imagine him in my mouth and a tingle shoots through me. Thick… throbbing… mine.
I’m more than ready to go.
We make it to Chase’s, and I’m surprised at how nice his place is. It’s on the edge of town, a two bed/two bath, one-story house. I’m not sure what I expected. A bachelor pad, maybe? This definitely isn’t that. It’s manly, but also homey. Comfortable. Filled with solid oak furniture and dark brown leather.
I spin around and survey the open floor plan. The living room opens to the kitchen, a granite island separating the spaces.
“Surprised?” Chase is standing in front of the fridge, popping the top off a beer.
“Yeah. This isn’t what I expected.” I look around. This feels like a home. How did he do this so fast? “Did you hire a decorator?”
He chokes on his beer, coughing and sputtering. My eyes narrow. “Uhh… kind of. Not really. My uh, my ex-girlfriend is an interior designer.”
Hello floor, meet my heart. Ex-girlfriend. I shouldn’t care. We’ve been apart for years. It’s unrealistic to think he wouldn’t have moved on in that time. But it still burns. As mad as I’ve been—as much as I thought I hated him, I was never able to give myself to another person that way. Hookups with no strings attached? Sure. But a relationship means there were feelings. Feelings that once only belonged to me. For the second time today, jealousy pricks at my insides.
I wonder how much of an “ex” she really is. He’s never mentioned her before, although I’m not sure when I would have given him the chance. But if she helped him design this place… he hasn’t been back that long.
“Oh.” Great job actin’ unaffected, Lee. “So she was down here with you and decorated? That was… nice of her.”
He shakes his head. “No, she just ordered the furniture. Helped out a bit. She didn’t spend much time here.” He gulps down another mouthful of beer.
“Was that the woman on the phone?” I blurt.
He cocks his head. “You’ll need to be more specific.”
“That night—the night you came and helped me with Daddy. There was a woman’s voice in the background.”
“There was,” he agrees.
“Was that her?” I’m acting crazy, and I know it. I have no right to ask him these things.
“Would it bother you if it was?”
“Yes. No… maybe? I don’t know, Chase. It shouldn’t bother me ‘cause you weren’t mine. But I won’t lie and say it doesn’t sting.”
He walks around the counter and cups my face in his hands. His eye
s are dark, his brows drawn. “I’ve always been yours.”
I bite my cheek to stop myself from saying things I have no right saying.
“You don’t think it drives me crazy to know you’ve been with Jax?” He growls Jax’s name and my stomach jumps into my throat. My head jerks back, surprised by his words. He thinks I was with Jax?
He crosses his arms. “Does he know about us yet, Goldi? Is he someone I need to worry about?”
“Where did you even get that idea? I was never with Jax.”
His forehead creases. “What? That’s not… I was sure.”
I shake my head, stepping into him and running my hands over his arms. “He’s my best friend, and yeah, he wants more.” Guilt swims around my veins. “But I’ve never felt that way about him. I’ve never felt that way about anyone. Only you.”
“Are you saying you’ve never been with anyone else?”
My mind goes to Logan. “I’m not sayin’ that… but you’re the only relationship I’ve ever had.” I shrug like that fact doesn’t make me sound completely pathetic.
A grin creeps up his face. “Does it make me an asshole to say that I fucking love that?”
“Yes. But you’ve always been an asshole.” I smile, leaning up to kiss him. “So, how long has this ‘ex’ been an ex? If she—”
“I don’t want to talk about her.” He’s quick to cut me off. “I want to focus on us.” He walks me backward until I hit the back of the sofa. His tongue traces my lips before he dips it into my mouth, kissing me deep. I whimper. What was I talkin’ about, anyway?
He breaks the kiss, taking my hand, and leading me to the kitchen. “Contrary to what you may believe from what I’ve whipped up at your dad’s house, I’m not a culinary genius by any stretch of the imagination. I hope you’re good with homemade pasta.” He kisses his fingers like he’s a chef.
“That depends. Will there be garlic bread?”
Beneath the Stars Page 23
