Course of Action

by Gun Brooke

  Tears rose in Carolyn’s eyes at her unexpected feelings of vulnerability.

  “Hey, no tears,” Helen exclaimed. “Annelie will fire me on the spot.” Her face turned serious. “Maybe you’ve bought into the rumors a little too much? If people say things about you enough, you start believing them. When you go into your professional mode, you’re very much Carolyn Black, diva extraordinaire. Maybe it’s easy to lose sight of who you really are.”

  “The last few months have helped me see things from another perspective,” Carolyn said. “Being in a relationship and seeing my sister several times, not to mention my niece, have helped keep me grounded.”

  “Are you happy?” Helen’s voice was soft.

  “I’ve never been this happy and content…or dizzy and infatuated either, for that matter.” A tender smile played on Carolyn’s lips. “You guessed pretty quickly, didn’t you?”

  “It took me a while, but when you rushed home to Annelie when her so-called father entered the scene, I was sure. You’ve got a bad case, my friend.” Helen gave a cheeky grin, making Carolyn roll her eyes.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You’re keeping it a secret?”

  “We haven’t discussed that yet. I guess we’ll have to agree on a course of action before the whole hoopla around the movie begins.”

  “What hoopla would that be?” Annelie entered the room with a tray of steaming mugs. “I know you’re supposed to cut back on caffeine, Carolyn, but I didn’t think a very mild café latte would hurt.”

  “Thanks, love.” Carolyn lit up, grabbing a mug before answering. “Maddox movie hoopla. We were just talking about all the hype about Dying for Fame. It’s going to be brutal.” She winked at Helen.

  “We’re going to be interviewed to death. Leno was just a small taste of what’s to come.” Helen moaned. “Can you imagine? Letterman, Conan…”

  “Actually, the producers of The Oprah Winfrey Show have approached us.” Annelie sat down next to Carolyn. “We’ll do two whole shows based on the books first, and then the movies. This isn’t until the premiere, of course.”

  “Oprah’s another matter.” Carolyn smiled. “I’ve never been on her show, but I look forward to it.”

  Jem slumped back into one of the armchairs. “Who knew, when Annelie signed Delia Carlton—completely unknown at the time—she’d write such an international hit?”

  “Oh, that’s right. I checked my mail earlier,” Annelie added before sitting down next to Carolyn. “I didn’t have a chance to tell you all the news.”

  “What news?”

  “You’ve got to promise me this stays among the four of us.” Annelie looked serious.

  “Now we’re all dying of curiosity.” Carolyn turned her head, trying to determine what was up from Annelie’s expression.

  “Delia Carlton just submitted another manuscript. There’s going to be a fourth Diana Maddox book.”

  “What?” Jem exclaimed, her jaw dropping. “When did you learn about this?”

  “Just before Helen arrived. I meant to share it over dinner, but we started talking about other things.”

  “Does this mean another audiobook and another movie?” Carolyn raised her eyebrows.

  “Possibly. I’ll read it and then pass it on to my editor.” Annelie winked at Jem. “If it’s up to her usual standards, which it probably is, I foresee at least an audiobook.”

  “The fans will go crazy,” Helen said. “The secret’s safe with me.”

  “I’m so glad Delia Carlton wrote these books.” Carolyn smiled. “So much has come from it.”

  “Clever lady, in all she does.” Annelie raised her mug. “Here’s to Delia, without whom none of us would be exactly where we are.”

  They all raised their coffee mugs.

  “To Delia!”

  *

  Annelie pulled Carolyn onto her shoulder, nuzzling her hair. The familiar scent of her lover’s shampoo made her relax into the embrace.

  “You all right, love?”

  “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Annelie murmured.

  “You have. Several times.”

  Not sure if Carolyn was being facetious, Annelie moved, looking down at her. “I was worried.”

  “I know, Annie, but I’m fine now. No headache, no dizziness. The new medication works like a charm.”

  Frowning, Annelie sank down on the pillows. “Please don’t downplay it. You scared me today.”

  Apparently realizing how serious she was, Carolyn rolled over on her side, landing almost nose to nose with Annelie. “I know I did. I think you were paler than I was, at the hospital. I’m sorry.”

  “No, no, it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t help being sick, but I need you to acknowledge my feelings. I sat in the cab forever, in the traffic gridlock from hell, and had no way of knowing how serious your condition was. I was rushing toward a hospital for the second time in a week, and—” Annelie stopped the gush of words when memories of another hospital, another time, overwhelmed her.

  “And?” Carolyn prodded gently, wrapping her arms around Annelie, rubbing her back.

  “And I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time.”

  “I’m guessing you didn’t make it to the hospital in time when your mother died?” Carolyn’s voice was soft.

  “I tried to get to her.” Annelie gave a muted sob. “I had a test in school, an important one, and I’d studied so hard for it. I took the test, and when I came out, the principal was waiting for me. She drove me to the hospital. Margo met me at the door and told me. Mom was gone.”

  Carolyn tucked Annelie’s ice-cold hands into her armpits, and her freezing feet tangled between her own. “I’m so sorry to hear this, Annie. It must have been so hard for you.”

  “You went through something similar and you were only twelve, with siblings to raise.”

  “True.”

  “And at twenty-one, when you were left completely in charge. We’ve both been there in different, but still similar, ways.” Annelie clung to her lover. “You feel so warm.”

  “You’ll be warm soon too. What time is it?”

  Annelie turned her head toward the alarm clock. “Two thirty. Wonder why I can’t settle down. I’m keeping you awake too.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s Saturday. We can sleep in.”

  Annelie frowned. “Yes, but you still need your sleep. I’ll go have some warm milk. Want some?” The disgusted look on Carolyn’s face made her smile. “Guess not. I’ll be right back.”

  Annelie grabbed her robe, tiptoeing through the hall toward the kitchen. When she passed the two guest rooms she spotted Jem coming from the bathroom. “You okay?” Annelie whispered.

  “Yeah, just too much coffee. What’s up? Can’t sleep?”

  “No, and I’m keeping Carolyn awake.”

  As Jem began to walk back to her room, something caught her attention. “What’s she up to?”

  Helen stood motionless farther down the hall, almost ghostlike in her long, white nightgown. Her hair was tousled around her shoulders, and she didn’t appear to notice them.

  “Helen?” Annelie said in a low voice as they walked up to her. “What’re you doing out here?”

  There was no reply. The actress’s eyes were open, but unfocused.

  “She must’ve taken the pills the doc gave her,” Jem said. “She’s asleep.”

  “You mean she’s sleepwalking? Should we wake her?”

  “No, I don’t think so. I’ll help her.” Jem carefully circled Helen’s shoulders with her arm, nudging her toward the guest room. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you back to bed.” Walking behind them into Helen’s room, Annelie watched Jem help the sleeping woman sit down on the bed. Then Jem lifted Helen’s legs and coaxed her to move up onto the pillows. “That’s right. Up we go.” Jem grabbed the sheet and blankets lying on the floor, spreading them over Helen’s motionless body and tucking her in. She stood watching the sleeping form for a moment before walking back to the hallway with An
nelie.

  “Is she all right?” Annelie resumed walking toward the kitchen.

  “She’s pretty out of it, but she responded when I was talking to her. Still, she took quite a fall today. Speaking of that, is Carolyn okay?”

  “Yes, she claims she’s fine.” Annelie took a carton of milk from the refrigerator, poured some into a mug, and placed it in the microwave. “Want some milk?” Unaware of it, Jem mimicked the face Carolyn had made only minutes before.

  “No, I’ll head back to bed. I hope that’ll do the trick for you, though.”

  “Me too.”

  Carrying the mug back to the bedroom, Annelie found Carolyn still awake and waiting for her. She carefully climbed back into bed, sipping from her mug.

  “You look like a kid, all tousled and drinking milk,” Carolyn whispered. “You’re always beautiful, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen you look cute.”

  “Cute?” Annelie wrinkled her nose. “Thanks. I think.”

  Carolyn placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “You’re welcome.”

  Finishing the milk and finally feeling warm again, Annelie curled up close to Carolyn, holding her in her arms. “I want to ask you something.” She held her breath for a moment while pushing back stray strands of hair from her lover’s face. “You tried to hide the fact your headaches were getting worse, and I guess you meant to keep me from worrying. Like you protect Beth, for instance. I don’t want to be protected, nor do I need to be. If I’d known you were feeling worse than usual, I might not have gotten the shock I did today.”

  “Annie…” Carolyn’s voice was a mere whisper.

  “I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m trying to tell you how I feel and what I need from you. You don’t have to tell me every little detail, but don’t try to shield me from what’s important. If it concerns you, it concerns me. Let me take care of you when you need it, and I’ll come to you when I need you to care for me—to put your arms around me and love me.” She rose on one elbow, looking down at Carolyn. “This is important, darling.”

  Carolyn cupped Annelie’s cheek gently and brushed her lower lip with her thumb. “Well said, Annie. I promise to do my best. It’s my nature to be protective, but I can try and change the way I do it. I’ll try not to shy away from asking for help, your help. You’ve been there for me so many times.”

  “And you for me.” Feeling it was easier to breathe the air in the bedroom, Annelie settled onto the pillows, closing her eyes. “I love you.”

  Carolyn’s fingers combed lovingly through Annelie’s hair, smoothing it before traveling farther down her back. Annelie buried her face into her lover’s neck, again inhaling her intoxicating citrus scent. Carolyn tugged at the covers, pulling them up and arranging them in a warm, cozy cocoon.

  As sleep finally overtook her, Annelie saw jumbled images of Carolyn playing behind her eyelids. A panther, an eel, a pool, concrete stairs. She half jerked. Then she saw her lover stretched out on the deck of a boat, relaxing in the sun, with the ocean all around, and she smiled.

  *

  Entering the kitchen, Annelie encircled Carolyn from behind, sliding her hands up under the half-open silk robe to cup her breasts. “Mmm,” Carolyn murmured as Annelie’s lips found naked skin where the robe slipped off her shoulder. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes, eventually. I missed you when I woke up, though. I should’ve realized the thought of coffee had enticed you to the kitchen.”

  “I promised the doctor to cut down, especially late in the evening, but my morning cup…” Carolyn shuddered. “Can’t do without it. I’d be impossible to live with.” She tilted her head back onto Annelie’s shoulder, turning to kiss her lover. “I don’t want you to kick me out because of caffeine withdrawal.”

  Trapping Carolyn against the kitchen counter, Annelie claimed her lips again, deepening the kiss. “There’s no way I’d let you go, darling,” she whispered, only a breath away from Carolyn’s mouth. “With or without caffeine.”

  “Good morning,” a sleepy voice said from the doorway. “Oh, sorry, ladies…” Helen stood holding onto the door frame. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “You didn’t.” Carolyn smiled, her arms still around Annelie. “As a matter of fact, you’re just in time for coffee.”

  “Did someone say coffee?” a second voice asked. Jem walked up behind Helen, her short, dark hair standing up in all directions. Patting Helen on her shoulder, she gave her a sleepy smile. “How are you doing this morning?”

  “I’m feeling much better. My scalp is sore, but no headache. I took some painkillers last night, and they knocked me right out. I had the weirdest dreams.”

  Jem shot Annelie a grin. Putting her arm around Helen’s shoulder, she guided her toward the kitchen table. “Oh, really? Do tell.”

  “I can hardly remember, but everything was swaying, and I believe you guys were there.”

  “Well, that makes sense, because we were there. Annelie and I found you standing in the hallway.” Jem shrugged. “We couldn’t very well leave you there, so I helped you into bed and tucked you in.”

  Helen blushed, covering her eyes with a hand. “Oh, no. I have been known to sleepwalk, but it was a long time ago. I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever for?” Jem asked merrily. “You were downright beautiful, if a little spooky, dressed in white silk in the middle of the night. So, anyone want pancakes or waffles?”

  Helen looked dazed at the quick change of subject.

  “Waffles!” Annelie exclaimed, rubbing her chin against Carolyn’s hair. “You’re such a whiz in the kitchen, Jem. I think I’m going to hire you.”

  “You already did.” Jem grinned. “So, bring out the waffle iron.”

  Restricted to the dining room, Carolyn sat down next to Helen as the aroma of Jem’s cooking filtered from the kitchen. Handing her a mug of coffee, she sighed in contentment and leaned back in her chair. “This is my idea of a perfect Saturday morning.”

  “Feeling less stressed?” Helen sipped her hot drink.

  “Yes, a lot. Annelie and I talked for hours while we were trying to relax last night, and something she said stuck in my mind.” Carolyn tucked her disheveled hair behind her ears. “I possess a certain arrogance.”

  “She said that?” Helen raised an eyebrow.

  “No, no. But she made me realize that I don’t share my weaknesses. I have to be strong and able, all the time. Or at least I think I do. Annelie wants me to share everything, warts and all.”

  Helen nodded thoughtfully, turning her head to look at the two women busily making breakfast. “First of all, I think you struck gold, Carolyn, and I don’t mean in the monetary sense. She adores you just the way you are. You’d be a fool to let her go.”

  “Don’t worry. I don’t have any intention of letting her slip through my fingers. She’s stuck with me. You said first of all—what else?”

  “I don’t see you as arrogant at all. You may interpret your actions and motivations like that, but I see it as being considerate of others. I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but I think you’re too hard on yourself sometimes.”

  Carolyn saw the warmth in Helen’s eyes and smiled. “Could be.”

  Jem approached them with hot plates and utensils. “Won’t be long now. What are your plans for the weekend, ladies?”

  “You know we had plans for a little get-together, but since I’m under orders to rest, I’ll just relax, study the script, and swim every day, of course.” Carolyn helped her set the table. “What about you, Helen?”

  “I’m going to my temporary home later and kick back, watch TV, and like you, reread the script. It’s a nice day outside, so I think I’ll walk home. It’s only six blocks or so.”

  Jem exchanged glances with Annelie. “Helen, if you like, I can walk you part of the way, since I’m going grocery shopping for tonight. Marco’s is on the way, I believe.”

  “That’s very nice of you, Jem.” Helen looked pleasantly surprised. “I’d like some company
.”

  “And remember, in New York six blocks is farther than you think,” Annelie cautioned. “Take a cab part of the way if you don’t feel well.”

  “Goodness, you’re all like mother hens.” Helen gave a mock groan. “I sleep funny once, and all of a sudden you’re going all protective on me.”

  Carolyn patted Helen’s hair, exaggerating a worried expression. “It’s because we luv ya, babe,” she drawled.

  Helen broke out into a fit of laughter, taking the others with her. Once they calmed down, the waffles were ready and Jem filled their plates. “Enjoy.”

  Carolyn let maple syrup run over her waffles. “You sure you need to go home Tuesday, Jem?”

  Helen looked up, swallowing her first bite with a dreamy expression on her face. “Oh, Jem, we sure will miss you.”

  Jem rolled her eyes at the comments. “You only want me for these carnal pleasures,” she muttered good-naturedly. Despite the broad grin on Jem’s face, Carolyn noticed a vulnerable expression in her eyes.

  *

  “I want to show you something.” Annelie walked into the living room where Carolyn sat on the floor by the fireplace, leaning against an armchair.

  “Yes? Come sit by me, then.” Carolyn scooted to the side, making room for Annelie.

  “I went through some of the letters my mother wrote my father, and when I looked into the package they came in, I found these.” Annelie handed over some yellowing clippings.

  Carolyn browsed through them with careful fingers. Annelie leaned her cheek against her lover’s hair, watching.

  “These clippings are of you as an adult.” Carolyn turned one of them over. “Look, here’s a date on the back of this one. March 12, 1994. Here’s another one. April 28, 1999. Did they belong to your father?”

  “I think so. This explains how Trevor White knew who I was. The thing is, they also raise a whole new set of questions. Why did White delay until now to try and get money from me? Why did my father keep clippings of me? If he took such an interest—I mean there are at least fifteen clippings—why didn’t he try to contact me?” Annelie swallowed. “I’m getting upset again, and I promised myself I wouldn’t.” Tears ran down her cheeks.