Waiting... On You (Force Recon Marines)

by S A Monk

  The morning after making love to her half the night, he’d gotten a call from his XO directing him back to duty ASAP. Being involved in Special Ops was like that. You had to be ready to report to duty within hours of a call-up. He’d never minded it before. Probably because he’d never had to leave someone as important as Hanna had become to him that night.

  She’d gotten up early and left to catch the ferry to Seattle to teach one of her classes at the University. Discovering the note she’d left him, he’d waited for his family to return home, then caught a ride from Lance to the naval airfield on Whidbey Island, where he was scheduled to fly out.

  After parking Lance’s truck onboard the ferry that sailed across the bay, they’d climbed the stairs to the top deck for the half hour ride. They stood at the rail talking for the first fifteen minutes. When Lance mentioned Hanna, Nick remembered wincing inwardly. With his head a bit clearer that morning, he’d realized that he hadn’t used any protection with Hanna. He didn’t want to tell Lance that he’d slept with her, but he needed his brother to keep an eye on her, in case she ended up pregnant. He didn’t think Hanna would tell him if she thought it would worry him while he was on one of his missions.

  He’d felt like a damn fool for not using a condom. He’d always been careful about unprotected sex, but things had gotten out of control so fast last night, and he had still been a little fuzzy from all the beers he’d consumed at Yancy’s.

  At first he’d tried to ask Lance to keep an eye on her, without telling him why. But that had been a futile effort. Naturally, his brother had wanted to know why.

  “Keep an eye on her? What does that mean?”

  The inability to get his request across without explanation had angered the hell out of Nick. “Yeah, keep an eye on her. Let me know if she’s okay— you know, physically; if there are any changes in her health.”

  “Changes in her health?”

  Lance had looked so absolutely clueless that it had irritated the hell out of Nick. His brother kept repeating everything he said. Because of his concern for Hanna and his guilt over not having used a condom, his patience was practically nonexistent at that point. “Shit! Are you going to repeat everything I say?” he’d snapped.

  Lance, of course, had responded in kind. “Well, yeah, if you aren’t going to make yourself clear, bro!”

  “What’s so damn unclear about keep an eye on her?”

  “Hanna’s perfectly healthy, as far as I know. Do you know something I don’t know? Is something wrong with her?”

  Now Lance had become anxious, and Nick knew he’d made a mess of things.

  “No, she’s fine, I assume.”

  “Then what are you beating around the bush about?”

  “I want you to let me know if Hanna gets pregnant, damn it!” he’d been forced to reveal.

  “Pregnant?!”

  Nick remembered how the passengers standing near the rail with them had looked over at them at that point. “Yeah, pregnant,” he’d hissed through clenched teeth. “Now lower your voice, for christsakes!”

  “Why the hell would Hanna get pregnant? As far as I know she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And she’s ....well, I’m pretty sure she’s never done it with anyone.”

  “And how the hell do you know that?”

  “She told me.”

  “Why?”

  “None of your damned business!” Squared off, facing each other, they had stared at one another for several long tense moments. “What happened between you two and when?” Lance had finally demanded.

  “I don’t think that’s any of your damned business!”

  But some of the anger had gone out of Nick by then. He’d begun to feel guilty about taking what Hanna might have wanted to keep for a man who would have stayed in her life, instead of popping in and out.

  “The hell if it isn’t!” Lance had hissed back. “I care about Hanna, and I know how she feels about you. If you took advantage of her....”

  “It wasn’t like that,” was all Nick had been willing to tell his brother. “I just didn’t use any protection... and now I’m worried about her.”

  Lance had taken a step closer, until he’d been in his older brother’s face. All of Nick’s hand-to-hand fighting skills hadn’t fazed his brother, he’d been so furious. “I ought to beat the living crap out of you!” he’d growled. “Is Hanna okay?”

  “Yes.” But Nick had been thinking about the blood on himself that morning, and on the sheets he’d thrown out so as not to embarrass her.

  “Did you tell her you were leaving?”

  “I tried to get her on her cell phone. But she must have turned it off while she was teaching. She left early this morning before I got the call from my commander. She’s in Seattle, at the University Medical Center.”

  “This just happened last night? The last I heard you wanted to stay home and go to bed early.”

  “I couldn’t unwind, so I went into town— to Yancy’s. I had one too many beers, and got into a fight with some guy who took exception to me being Marine. The cops were called. Someone got hold of Hanna at the hospital. She came over and got me out of there before I got thrown in jail.”

  “And you took advantage of her, drunk?!” This time Lance was so furious, he grabbed his brother by his shirt, but Nick caught his hands and pried them loose.

  “Leave off, little brother, before I get mad and knock you on your ass!”

  “Go for it!” Lance swung at his brother, but Nick caught his fist with lightning speed and twisted it down between them. No one around them was aware of the rising violence between the two brothers.

  “Damn it, settle down, Lance!” Nick had growled.

  Lance had backed off, but his eyes had been full of fire. “What are you gonna do if you knocked Hanna up?”

  “Handle it!”

  “Handle it? Bullshit! You haven’t been home for more than a few days at a time in twenty goddamn years! There’s no room in your military life for a wife and baby.”

  “There could be.”

  “Yeah, sure,” Lance had replied sarcastically. “Besides, Hanna wouldn’t want you to marry her just because she was pregnant.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. But you write and tell me if she gets pregnant, damn it, because knowing Hanna and her pride, she won’t.”

  By the time they had arrived at the Naval Air Station on Whidbey Island, they had barely been speaking to one another. Lance did manage to wish Nick well, but there was no affectionate, brotherly hug between them like there had always been. For two months afterward, Lance hadn’t answered any of Nick’s letters, either.

  Hanna hadn’t gotten pregnant, and eventually Lance had gotten over being angry with him, for which Nick had been extremely grateful. He loved his younger brother. He’d never wanted there to be animosity or anger between them.

  Nick’s first letter to Hanna after making love to her hadn’t been easy, either. Being so far away and having to communicate all his feelings to her, via a letter, instead of in person, had been impossible, in the end. He’d settled for telling her how special their intimacy had been for him. But she’d never replied to what he’d written, so he’d let the matter drop. Eventually, their relationship had returned to its normal routine of friendly letters, occasional long distance calls, and gifts exchanged on special occasions.

  But Nick hadn’t forgotten their one night together. He had always been attracted to Hanna. He’d just never been home long enough to act on it before. The last time he and Hanna had any extended time together, she’d been barely fifteen years old! Getting involved with her that way then hadn’t even been a consideration.

  But making love to her three years ago had been a singular experience for him— definitely more than just sex. Being a soldier, he’d had a lot of one-nighters. Until Hanna, he’d never had the inclination for more than that.

  His life was so thoroughly committed to the Corps and its elite unit, Force Recon, that he hadn’t really ever thought of altering it,
not until three years ago, anyway. He was good at what he did, and for the most part, he enjoyed it. He took pride in being a good Marine. He did what was asked of him, and he focused on his missions, which were always challenging and full of risk. He worked hard and trained hard. He stayed alive, and, except for once, kept the men under him alive while they did their job.

  He didn’t get involved with women beyond a night or two. He didn’t really have time for any long-term relationships. For twenty years, he had lived too dangerous a life, in too many remote locations, too far away from home, to even think about marriage or a family.

  A lot of the men he teamed with were married and had families, but Nick had promised himself long ago that he’d never do that to a woman. He’d seen firsthand what had happened to his mother. With what he did for a living, he didn’t want a wife worrying about whether he’d return or not.

  He didn’t even have a place of his own. He lived in officer’s bachelor quarters on base. It would have been a waste of money to make monthly payments on a place he never lived in. He didn’t own a car, either. He’d had motorcycles. Like he’d told Hanna, they were easy to put in storage.

  The women he had sex with were easy to put out of his mind the next day, too. But that hadn’t been true of Hanna. He’d thought of her constantly since taking her to bed. And it had nothing to do with being her friend or feeling guilty about taking her virginity.

  Making love to her had impacted him emotionally in ways he hadn’t expected. He’d frankly never felt like that before. In just one night, Hanna had become more than a lifelong friend to him.

  In fact, she had become an ongoing distraction. There probably wasn’t a day that went by that he failed to think of her in his quiet moments. When he hit his bunk at night, her image was the last one in his head, and his dreams of her would have made her blush ten shades of red if she knew. The shy, quiet, brilliant girl he’d grown up with had become the subject of some of his most erotic fantasies.

  He was thirty-eight, and he wanted his life to become more settled, more stable. He’d accepted his promotion and re-enlistment with a request to be assigned to the Naval Special Warfare Command in San Diego. He’d spent nearly all his twenty years in the field, mostly in foreign countries, involved in unconventional covert deployments, and he was ready for a change.

  He’d surprised himself with thoughts about having what other men his age enjoyed along with their careers— a wife and family. And when he thought about sharing his life with one woman, he thought about Hanna.

  They had been close friends for such a long time. He was smart enough to know friendship was a good thing in a relationship. They got along well, and enjoyed the same things. They were both dedicated to a principle, and were passionate about it. He genuinely liked her, and he sure as hell still wanted her physically. Now, he wanted to know if she was interested in him as more than just a friend. He had assumed that since she’d given him her virginity three years ago, she had to have felt something more for him.

  But he was unsure of her current feelings. Coming home to Lance’s disappearance and Dylan’s death didn’t make ideal conditions for exploring Hanna’s feelings, but he’d been hopeful there might still be some interest on her part, especially after he’d kissed her in the park, last weekend.

  But her reaction to yesterday’s kiss had deflated some of that hope. Maybe there wasn’t anything there to explore. Three years might have brought some significant changes in her life. She could be in love with Lance. Or maybe she was seeing that resident doctor she worked with. Maybe he should back off. Hell, he’d only been home a week, and he’d kissed her twice, without even knowing whether she welcomed his attention. Maybe he had imagined her reaction, anyway.

  He lifted his head off the sofa and ran his fingers though his hair, swearing. Geez, he’d drive himself nuts analyzing this any further! He decided to just back off with Hanna for a while. If something happened between them, fine. He wasn’t going to obsess over it anymore.

  What the hell! Maybe he’d take Ashley up on her invitation to have a drink after work. She had always been a gossip and knew everything about everybody. Maybe she could tell him about Phillip Douglas and Sheriff Thomas. Maybe, he could even find out if Hanna was seeing anyone.

  CHAPTER 8

  “HEY, YOU TWO, are we going to the park today to play football?” Nick called out as he came into his mother’s kitchen and found Hanna cutting Christopher’s hair. “It is Sunday.”

  It was her first day of vacation, but it sure as heck didn’t feel like it! Hanna looked over at him as he stood in the doorway, between the kitchen and dining room. He was dressed in cut-offs and an old sweatshirt with USMC lettering on it. He had long ago cut the sleeves out so that his arms were bare from the shoulders down. The alteration displayed all the muscles that rippled and bulged from his biceps down to his dark-haired forearms.

  For thirty-eight, he was a remarkably fit man. Of course his line of work demanded he be in the best shape possible. His fitness wasn’t for looks. It was for survival. He was a big man, tall and powerfully built, but there wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. He had all the physical prowess of a seasoned warrior.

  And damn him, he always looked so drop dead gorgeous! The years had only made him more handsome than he’d been as a boy. The lines that maturity and weather exposure had etched on his tanned face had simply added character. Bitterly, Hanna wondered how many times Ashley Davis had drooled over him last night.

  “Antie Hanna cutting my hair!” Christopher announced exuberantly, squirming in his chair beneath the plastic cape placed over his narrow shoulders. Hanna admonished him to sit still while she trimmed around his ear with her scissors.

  “I can see that, sport, but what about playing a little football today?” Nick persisted, stepping into the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. “You two going to be ready to go when you’re finished?”

  “Antie Hanna not feeling good.”

  Nick studied her with a frown. “What’s wrong, Hanna?”

  “It’s no big deal.” She shrugged, refusing to look at him. “Just some cramps.”

  “Oh, female stuff.”

  Irritated, she shot him a quick glare. “Yeah, something like that.” She used her scissors to shape the top of Christopher’s fine, light brown hair. “I’m not going to play football today. You and Christopher will have to go by yourselves. Christine’s visiting friends.”

  “Okay, how about cutting my hair then, too,” he suggested as he picked up a cookie from the plateful on the table. “I could use a trim.”

  “I don’t do Marine…” she said, pausing with a pointedly frosty look “…haircuts.”

  Nick grinned. “How about a Marine who just wants a regular cut?”

  She glared at him, annoyed. “Just little boys— good little boys.”

  Nick teased her with a grin. “I can be good... for you.... and a haircut.”

  Hanna’s pulse fluttered, but she refused to acknowledge his teasing.

  She’d had to work yesterday. On her way out of the hospital, Ashley Davis had asked her if she intended to see Nick today. When she said “probably,” the ER nurse had told her to tell him that she got off at seven, not six. She then proceeded to explain that Nick had asked her out, for a date, last night when he’d been at the hospital waiting for Hanna to finish up in the operating room. The excitement and anticipation Hanna had seen in the woman’s eyes had driven the information home like a well shot arrow.

  Besides having her monthly, she’d been in a miserable mood all day, thinking about Nick and Ashley together. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop seeing them in each other’s arms, in bed together, Nick’s splendid body covering Ashley’s small, voluptuous one. When Jessie had asked her to come over to cut Christopher’s hair, she’d wanted badly to refuse. But she loved little Christopher to pieces, and she knew he needed a haircut. She also knew she wasn’t going to have much time to get around to it for the next couple of weeks. />
  Now that she was finished with her task, though, she was going home. After removing the plastic cape from Christopher’s shoulders, she helped him get off the elevated chair. He wasn’t the most coordinated little guy.

  While she was getting the broom to sweep up, Nick quickly moved into the chair his nephew had just vacated.

  “My turn.”

  Hanna spun around and put her hands on her hips. “No! Go away, Nick Kelly.”

  Nick gave her his most charming, boyish expression. “Please,” he begged. “I don’t have time to go to the barber with all we’re going to be doing this week.”

  Of all the things he could have said, that did the trick. He was here to help her find out about Dylan’s death and Lance’s disappearance, after all. She needed to put aside her personal feelings and work with him. Anyway, she’d always known he wasn’t for her. Even though it would break her heart, he’d find an Ashley someday and marry her. The Ashleys of this world got men like Nick, not the Hannas.

  “You’re going to have to sit in a regular chair,” she told him, relenting with a disgruntled frown. “I can’t reach you on this stool.”

  He jumped down and drug over a dining table chair so fast, he pried a tiny smile from her. Shaking her head, she moved behind him and draped the cape over his broad shoulders. His hair was clipper cut around the sides and up the back, not shaved high and tight the way most normal Marines wore it. It looked as if it hadn’t seen a barber in a while. The lines were a bit shaggy.

  She ran her comb, then, unable to resist, her long fingers through the longer strands on top. It was a very dark brown, nearly black, and oh so silky and warm. Essentially, it was straight, thick, and fine. She wanted to indulge herself in the feel of it all day, to bend down and bury her nose in it.

  Instead, she picked up her small cutting shears, grateful he couldn’t see her. “So how do you want this?” Her tone was clipped to hide her distress.

  “Anyway you want.”

  His tone was husky and suggestive. It sent little shivers racing up and down her spine. She wondered testily if he had said something like that to Ashley last night.