Soulless

by Kate Rudolph

  “We will do our best,” Toran promised.

  Sierra held up a hand. “Do better than your best. These women are traumatized and terrified. They can handle you all being emotionless robots or whatever, but…” She shook her head again. “Just be good.”

  Toran shot Raze a look and Raze was suddenly happy for all of the people around them. He’d have to answer for Sierra’s knowledge later.

  “Thirty seconds.”

  Sierra opened the door and pointed to four empty seats, two on either side of the central aisle. She took one closest to one of the human survivors and before Raze could sit beside her, Toran took that seat. Raze slid in across from her and didn’t say anything about the arrangement, instead focusing on buckling up. A human woman sat next to him and he could feel her stiffen and stare, but he kept his eyes forward, uncertain if looking at her would cause even more fear. Sierra murmured something to the women around them, but the final countdown to FTL crackled over the speaker and the ship jolted to high speed, making communication momentarily impossible.

  Once his senses adjusted to the shift, Raze tried to meet Sierra’s gaze, to speak in glances if not words, but she was lost in thought and not looking at him. A few minutes later, the lights flashed twice and Sierra looked up. She unbuckled her belt. “I’ll be back later, please stay seated,” she told everyone in the room. Finally, she spared him a glance, but quickly looked away and headed through the rescued human women up to the cockpit.

  They might have been rescued from certain death, but with each minute that went by, Raze knew this was going to be torture.

  ***

  Sierra had no clue how to treat Raze when he was in front of his men. He went to that stoic, emotionless place that left her feeling cold, but then she caught him flashing her a smile when Toran and Kayde weren’t looking. Did they know that he was feeling again? Did it matter? And would the humans freak out too badly if she sat on his lap and stuck her tongue down his throat? Okay, maybe she shouldn’t do that, but mostly since she wasn’t sixteen, not because he wasn’t human. They all just needed a little time. It had been one of the busiest days of her life and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept.

  She slid into the cockpit and closed the door behind her, taking her seat behind Jo and Mindy. “The aliens are sitting by the humans. I didn’t have time to set up any other seating. I warned them to be cool, but I don’t know if that will last for long. Since you’re both busy here, I’ll get sleeping arrangements settled and do an inventory on our food. We should have enough not to starve, but it won’t be a pleasant couple of days. I wish that I could give them more than the most basic health scan, but we can’t even look for tracking or control chips. No one ran away, so I’m thinking the slavers didn’t risk taking control. I know those chips blow up half the time, so why risk the cargo, right?” As for tracking, Sierra didn’t need to add, once they got close enough to Earth, they wouldn’t be in much danger. It didn’t matter if the pirates knew their destination, they wouldn’t follow the women down to such a densely populated planet. Any tracking chips could be removed by the medical teams back home.

  “Right. Get the arrangements made,” said Jo. She leaned back from her controls and spun her chair around to face Sierra. Mindy did the same. “Any ideas so far?”

  She’d only been thinking about it nonstop since Raze came aboard, but putting him in her quarters seemed a little obvious. He didn’t have to sleep there… officially. “I want to put the Detyens in Jo’s quarters and have the two of you share.” At the start of the mission, she would have never suggested it, but her crew seemed to be getting along better now. Though from the sounds of protest they made, a person would have thought that Sierra suggested the two of them sleep in a vat of acid.

  “What? Why?”

  “No way!”

  The response could have been worse. “Jo’s quarters are biggest. Three people won’t fit in mine or Mindy’s.” That, at least, got Mindy’s nod. “The women will panic if we put the guys in with them, and they’re already going to be squeezed like sardines into the unused crew barracks. They’ll have to sleep two to a cot.”

  “That’s still not explaining why I have to share with Mindy,” Jo bit out. “This better not be just so you can get laid.”

  “What? No!” Sierra sputtered, completely unconvincingly. “It’s not that,” she protested, “really. I promise.” Mostly, it mostly wasn’t that. “You and Mindy will be working in shifts and neither will be sleeping at the same time. With managing our guests, I could be up at all hours and in and out of the room all night. I don’t want to disturb your sleep.”

  Both of her crew mates looked at her skeptically. But finally Jo looked at Mindy for a long second and nodded. “Fine, move my bag over into her room. You owe me for this.”

  Sierra owed them both a lot, and given the risks they’d put their lives and their jobs in, she could never repay them. After talking logistics for nearly an hour, she left the two of them in the cockpit and went to get the ship in order. Some of the women had unbuckled themselves from their seats, but they seemed to be staying in the kitchen area, so Sierra didn’t tell them to sit back down. If walking around made them more comfortable, she’d let them walk all night.

  She grabbed Jo’s bag out of her room and tossed it into Mindy’s before heading further into the ship to get the beds ready for the women. Time flew by as she worked, and by the time her muscles were straining from cleaning and set up, she was done. Food was another issue. They had a limited supply of fresh produce which wouldn’t be enough for even a single meal. Between canned goods and protein bars, Sierra could stretch their food to last until they made it to Earth, but they didn’t have much room for error.

  At mealtime, she passed out the first batch of protein bars to everyone. A few of the women muttered complaints, but they were shushed by their fellow passengers. She could have hugged Toran when he told her that he’d brought spare rations from his ship, but restrained herself to a single nod of thanks.

  And nowhere in the hours of work could she managed a spare moment to say anything to Raze. After the meal, she showed the Detyens to their quarters and gave them leave to move around the ship. As she was leaving them to their work, Raze grazed his fingers across her wrist and she shivered, but Toran called him away before she could try to get a word in.

  Then she was left to manage the women, explaining the sleeping situation and trying to learn all their names. Tory, Helen, Chi, CJ, Muir, Davy, Nella, Ella, Laurel, Monica, Valerie, and Quinn. Maybe she could get them to wear name tags. According to the mission brief, Muir Henderson was the niece of the senator who had agitated for the mission in the first place. The young woman couldn’t have been more than twenty. Her stringy blonde hair could use a good wash and she was so pale that her skin took on a bluish tint under the harsh light of the ship. She had bruises under her eyes and wouldn’t say a word, even when asked a direct question. She’d need therapy and lots of it, Sierra was sure. All of the women would. But some seemed to be in better spirits than others.

  Quinn, the black woman with short hair who’d spoken up earlier, seemed to have taken up the mantle of leadership. She spoke for the other women and asked Sierra a barrage of questions ranging from who she and her team were, where they’d come from, where they were going, who had captured them, how did the women know they could trust Sierra, who were the aliens on board, and why did they all have to share beds. Every time Sierra answered one question, another three popped up, and by the time she extricated herself from Quinn, her throat hurt and she just wanted to take a nap for the next three days.

  Instead, Sierra satisfied herself with a glass of water and hid in her room for five minutes while she scarfed down her own neglected protein bar and took a few seconds to collect herself. When a knock sounded at her door, she stifled the groan and wedged herself up from her bed, crossing the three steps to the door as if she were walking on hot coals. She placed her hand on the latch and took a deep bre
ath, putting her game face back on before swinging the door open.

  She couldn’t keep the shock off her face when she saw who it was. “Raze?”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  She backed up a step to let him in and closed the door just as quickly, half afraid that he’d flee if she didn’t cut off his escape route. With Raze in her quarters, they shrunk to half their usual size, his bulk taking up every spare centimeter. A person’s size was never more clear than when they stood on a space ship. Planets had a way of dwarfing a person, distance and space giving a false sense of perspective. But in her little room, where she could touch opposite walls at the same time if she stretched her hands out far enough, there wasn’t any disguising Raze’s bulk or height, and that sent a not so secret thrill through her.

  She’d never paid much attention to the heft of her lovers before. A man could be just as pleasing if he stood a head taller than her or if she had to look down at him. But standing next to Raze right now, she felt safe, protected, like he would stand beside her and fight any battle with her and prevail against any foe.

  Had she really only known him two and a half days?

  “What are you doing here?” she finally asked, finding her voice. “Is everything alright?” Just because her mind went to a naughty place anytime he got into close proximity to her, didn’t mean that he was ready to lay down on the bed right behind her and see exactly what they could make one another feel, how much pleasure they could conjure between them.

  She really needed to get her mind out of the gutter, somehow, or the next three days were going to be absolute hell.

  “Everything is fine,” Raze reassured her. “Toran and Kayde are resting.”

  Hope fluttered in her belly, but she forced herself not to jump to any conclusions. He wasn’t even touching her, even though all he’d have to do was lean forward the tiniest bit and they’d be pressed flush up against one another. “That’s good. I’m sure we could all use some sleep.” No, why did she say that? Raze tried to take a step back and she shot a hand out to keep him from moving. “I mean, eventually.”

  “Most of the women out there seemed to be settling in. Your pilot switched the lighting over to sleep mode.” He ran his fingers lightly over the back of her hand, tapping out an unfamiliar beat.

  Sierra glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s late,” she agreed.

  “I couldn’t end the day without seeing you,” he confessed, his other hand coming up to rest on her shoulder.

  She smiled, “I know the feeling.” She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head against his chest. Tension loosened in her spine and some of the day’s troubles melted away as she absorbed some of his warmth. She never wanted to let go. “Will Toran give you trouble for being here?” she forced herself to ask. As much as she wanted to be near her man, she didn’t want to cause strife on his team, not when they were all stuck in such close quarters.

  “He didn’t forbid it,” Raze said, which wasn’t exactly an answer.

  “Why would he?” Her heart hammered as the comfort of the hug shifted to something deeper, something treacherous and terrifying and full of hope for something she’d never known to dream about.

  “I think he suspects something,” was all Raze said.

  She knew the suspicion had little to do with sex. And so she forced herself to ask the question she was terrified to have him answer. “Is it that I’m your mate?”

  ***

  The pain had come in fits and starts throughout the last few hours. Whenever he saw Sierra, suddenly Raze could breathe again, but when she went away, his lungs filled with sand and his organs twisted into unnatural shapes and squeezed him from the inside out. Touching her now was the first time in hours the pain was completely gone, and that, more than anything, proved to him that she was who he knew she had to be.

  He saw the hope and the fear in her eyes and knew it was reflected in his own. They had somehow stolen another three days of togetherness from the hands of fate, but things had become even more uncertain since they’d made plans to meet at Honora Station in a few months’ time. But none of that mattered now. They could figure out the future later. He had Sierra in his arms, the soft press of her skin warm against him. There was nowhere else he’d rather be, no matter what it cost him down the line.

  “You are my denya,” he told her. “It shouldn’t be possible, but you are my miracle.”

  Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and Raze’s desire stirred deep in his belly, his cock twitching. “Show me,” Sierra said, taking a step backwards towards her bed and pulling him along with her.

  Raze captured her mouth with his, crushing her close so that no distance kept their bodies separate. A fire of need flooded his veins and his focus honed in on her and only her. His Sierra. His woman. His mate. She opened under him, her tongue meeting his in an ancient dance of longing. One of her hands came up and dug into his hair as she let out a moan loud enough to nearly echo around the room.

  His heart and his body pulsed at him to take her now, quickly, before they were interrupted by any of their responsibilities. But Raze needed to take his time and savor Sierra, to make this right for the both of them.

  They both wore too many clothes and their hands tangled as they tried to get at each other and remove jackets and shirts and pants. Sierra pulled back with a gasping laugh and placed her hand on his chest, eyes bright. “Hold on,” she said. “Let me watch you.” She backed up further until her legs hit her bed before falling backwards and sprawling like a decadent queen viewing her humble supplicant.

  Raze wanted to fall to his knees and worship, but her eyes were dark with hunger and she’d asked him for a show. There was no wish he wouldn’t grant for his denya. He started with the zippers at his neck and worked his way down, his eyes flicking over to hers every few seconds to see her reaction as he bared himself for her. His outer jacket came off to reveal a thin, long sleeved top, and though his first instinct was to rip it off and throw it away to get naked as fast as he could, he teased her, his hands gripping the bottom hem and pulling it up slowly, revealing his abs before pulling it back down and reaching behind his neck and pulling the top off completely, baring himself from the waist up to his denya.

  She moaned again and her chest rose and fell quickly, her cheeks flushed and eyes bright. She could demand anything right then, but all she said was, “More.”

  ***

  He was male beauty contained in corded strength and bulging muscles. Every bit of skin he bared for her only made her want more, want to see, to touch, to taste. She’d expected him to be that same green with silver undertones all over, but his chest was a surprise. He was covered in marks from his shoulders down across his chest in a deep vee, the dark, nearly black squares almost like birthmarks or moles. Her fingers ached to feel and she rolled up from her lounging position to get a closer look.

  “Do you like my clan markings?” he asked with a grin.

  Sierra reached out a tentative hand and flicked her fingers against the dark patch. It was thicker than his normal skin. “It doesn’t hurt, does it?” She’d never had sex with an alien before and didn’t want her ignorance to cause him any suffering.

  “No,” Raze promised. “It feels good.”

  She flattened her hand against his naked chest, but before she could do more than take the smallest feel, he stepped back, pulling a sad mewl of loss out of her throat.

  “Uh uh,” Raze said in a tone she’d never heard from him before. From anyone else, she’d call it playful. “Your turn.” He pointed to her top and suddenly the heat in the room shot up by thirty degrees.

  She tore at her jacket, casting it off like it was made of hornets. Raze grinned at her, eyes hungry and devouring. But when she went to unbutton her shirt, she forced herself to slow down. He’d given her a show, and even though she was flushed, wet, and ready for pleasure, she wanted to return the favor. She laid back on the bed, spreading herself out for him like an ancient sa
crifice to a terrifying pagan god. His eyes flared red as she flicked the top button on her shirt and bared her throat to his gaze. She could feel the burn of his regard all the way to her toes.

  A second button came undone and the top of her breasts was suddenly in sight, on display for her mate. Raze took half a step forward before he seemed to realize what he was doing and Sierra couldn’t help but grin up at him. “Do you want to touch?” she teased with a smile and placed a finger on the next button.

  The strangled noise that came out of his throat went straight to her sex and she pressed her legs tightly together, her hips rising off the bed as she imagined him between her thighs, pressing into her with the heat of his cock. Instead of showing them both mercy, she let her fingers flit down to the bottom button and undid two, until three buttons in the center of her top were all that covered her undershirt.

  Raze stepped forward and fell to his knees beside her bed. His hands found the top and he gripped both sides, ready to rip it open before her eyes flew wide and she placed her own hand on his wrist. “Wait! I don’t have anything to mend it.” As soon as the words tumbled out, she wanted to call them back. She had this handsome barbarian at her feet and she was worried about her clothes. Was she crazy?

  Her mate seemed to sense her regret. He met her eyes with those searing red pools of his, his voice gruff and just on this side of control. “Do you really care?” he demanded.

  “Not a bit.” She grinned. Maybe she should have been terrified, especially when those claws she’d only felt before slid out, and he traced a careful line around each of the buttons until her shirt fell open, leaving only the thin, white undershirt. She wrestled the sleeves of the buttoned top off and Raze placed a clawed finger on her shirt over her sternum.

  He met her eyes, black flooding back over the red. “Do you trust me?” he asked, his words heavy with more than sex, more than affection, filled with something she wasn’t quite ready to name.