A Good Distance From Dying

by David Carroll

  David -M- Carroll

  enter the unknown, especially here, so close to where so many lost their lives. It was my opinion that the woods could very easily be full of nasty little surprises.

  “We’ll discuss that when the time comes. Amanda and I will walk in front and make sure there is no sharp, pointy bits in your path. Then I’ll discuss what’s next with everybody up in the bed of the truck.”

  Sass understood this for what it was. “Judy?” He asked.

  “It’s nearly there. Let’s get this thing parked and do what none of us want to do.”

  Sass nodded and put the truck back into gear. Amanda fell in line beside me with Big Lou jumping out of the truck and walking a bit ahead of us.

  “She’s not going to make it much longer.” Amanda said. “I think everyone back there knows what is happening. Shawn and Jim both distanced themselves from her before we had even gone a mile down the interstate. Veronica has stayed by her side the whole time, but you can tell she’s on guard. As soon as the breathing stops she is going to make herself as scarce as she can.”

  “And Daniel?” I asked.

  Amanda sighed and looked up at the sky. “He knows, but I just don’t think he’s letting himself believe it. When Judy goes, he is going to lose it. It’s going to be bad.”

  I stopped walking and motioned Sass to take the truck on over to the tractor. I used this moment to make a decision that I had been dreading since we found the truck in Gray. We don’t have time to wait here for her to die. We need to keep moving forward. I doubted the group would leave her, but by staying here, we were only putting ourselves in danger.

  “We need to leave them here.” I said softly.

  “I agree, but nobody is going to support that.” Amanda said.

  “We will have to go on foot from here. There is no way that she is mobile now.”

  “Again, I completely agree. However, the rest aren’t going to just leave her here. You know this and that is why we are having this discussion.”

  “So, we are going to have to stay here until she dies. That puts us all at risk. I know my option isn’t going to be popular, but it has to be what happens next.”

  Amanda shrugged, “You’re the leader of the group, and I will support your decision. However, I am telling you that there is going to be vocal opposition to this. Be prepared.”

  I nodded at her as Sass made it over to where we were standing. He cut the ignition and hopped out of the truck.

  “We ready to get with the others and talk this thing out?” he asked.

  “Yeah, let’s do it.” I said.

  C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - T W O

  They were all looking up at me like they thought I had all the answers. Poor deluded fools. I was hoping they would buy anything I pitched them. There was a part of me that could see the possibility of such an acceptance coming from them, but more and more I agreed with Amanda’s assessment, all hell was about to break loose in the back of this truck.

  “There are two versions of the world around us that we need to talk about. There is the way we want things to be and there is the way things are. These two things are very different, especially now. I am going to tell you how things are. And then I’m going to tell you how things need to be done. It doesn’t matter if it’s what you want or not, it’s just how things are.”

  Nobody said anything. I believe that they were all dreading what I was about to say next. They all had to know what was coming. I could see no advantage to dragging this out. It needed to be settled and settled quickly.

  “There is a wreck that has taken out the entire interstate. We can’t drive around it and we can’t clear a path through it. It’s simply too large. We will have to climb over it to stay on course for Johnson City.”

  So far so good I thought. But the next part was the part that was going to turn some heads.

  “Judy. If you’re not able to do this, we are going to have to leave you here.”

  Silence. I was prepared for anything except silence.

  “You bastard...” Daniel said softly. “You are going to abandon us here? You think that little of us?”

  “This is not personal; it’s simply the facts of the situation. We have to keep moving. We’re racing the sun and we’re losing.”

  “Is that what you’re going to tell yourself so your conscience will keep quiet as you leave us here to die?”

  “If you think that my conscience won’t be bothered by this then you are wrong. I wish there was another way to do this, but there isn’t.”

  “There is another way.” Veronica said.

  “Why not go around, through the woods. That would have to be easier than going over the wreckage. I’m sure Judy would be able to make it that way.”

  “No, Veronica. We are not going through the woods. We have no idea what’s in there. I’m not going to lead us blindly into a group of hungry zombies.”

  “But you have no problem leaving us here to die.” Daniel said. Then looking around to everybody else. “This is who you wanted as your leader? Remember what happened here because if you get hurt then you’re next. Vindictive, childish and hateful. That is your leader. I have tried to tell you all day, tried to warn you, but nobody would listen.” I could feel the heat of rage warming up inside me.

  “If they want to try the woods then I’ll go with them.” Jim said.

  “Yeah, I’ll go with them as well.” Veronica said.

  This is how it begins. This is how a group quickly devolves into chaos. All it takes is one idiot. One moron, who has no clue, opening his mouth and making some accusations and then more idiots find the desire to follow him. Before you know it, all order is lost. That is why a man like Daniel is so dangerous. He’s an instigator. He’s trouble walking.

  “We are not going through those woods.” I said again.

  “Who died and made you the boss?” Daniel asked getting braver with the small show of support that he took to be for him but I knew was only for Judy.

  “Actually, all of you did.” I answered.

  “You never had my vote. And now, as pay back for speaking out against you all day, you have finally found a way to shut me up. Congratulations Hitler, you have successfully killed off your first two Jews.”

  That. Was. Enough.

  “I have listened to you spout off your moronic views all day and have done my absolute best to bite my tongue, but this is it. I am not attacking you because you’re an asshole. And let’s be clear here, you’re an asshole. I am not leaving you here as part of some vindictive plot to silence you. If there were a way to avoid doing this I would bend over backwards to make it happen, even knowing that anything I would do would eventually be thrown back in my face as not being enough. You are never satisfied. Not even when I pulled your sorry ass into the truck and saved your life. I saw the look of disappointment in your eyes as you realized you wouldn't fall into the arms beneath you.”

  “That’s not…” Daniel attempted to say, but his say was over.

  “Shut up. Hitler has the floor. When I saved your life a second time in the strip club you were angry at me for saving you. You even tried to hit me for my efforts. I don’t get it; if you want to die, it’s not that hard to do. Just go lay down on the interstate, before long something will find you. It will be painful, but it will be final and I think that’s what you really want.”

  “Charlie…”

  It was Sass talking now, but I ignored him and plowed onward.

  “I thought I had gained some insight while in Gray. I thought that all this aggression towards me was because, in your mind, I was placing Judy in danger and you wanted to ensure that she would never be in danger again. I thought that all the personal attacks, all the snide remarks, they were your way of trying to fight what you saw as a danger to your family. That bit of understanding didn’t make me like you, but it gave me some respect for you. I could at least understand why you were acting that way towards me. But all of that was just another smokescreen, wa
sn’t it? You’re mean to me just because you want to be mean. There is no big secret honorable reason behind your behavior, you’re just an ass. That’s the entire explanation.”

  “You…” Daniel said. That one word kept repeating like he was a record with a bad scrape on it.

  “You…you…you…you…you…”

  “Yes, me.” I said.

  “Me. Me. Me. It’s me that has had enough.” I said.

  “Look, I don’t see how, if they want to try to make it through the woods that it’s a bad thing to let them try.” Jim said.

  I looked him up and down.

  “You’ve been here about three minutes and you’re going to jump into the middle of this?” I said. Then I felt a hand place itself on my shoulder and heard Sass say, “He’s not trying to get in the middle, he’s trying to end it.”

  “Yeah Charlie man, let’s just all calm down, okay?” Shawn said.

  The fire was burning bright in my head now, all I could see was Daniel and that rage began to consume me.

  “We’ll just take them through the woods, Charlie. It will all be okay. I swear.” Veronica said and the damn broke.

  I shook my shoulders knocking Sass’s hand off me and I opened up on all of them.

  “No. You won’t. I don’t get any of you. Everyone wants me to be the leader and get everyone to safety as long as every decision I make is the one you want me to make. The moment that I decide to do something that you’re not happy with everyone decides that maybe they need to be leader.”

  “Maybe we should!” Daniel said.

  “Fine with me. You think I like worrying about everyone? You think I like having to prove my point on every decision that gets made around here? You think I like to waste time having to convince each one of you that the behaviors which are putting us at risk are something that you should stop doing? I have tried and tried to be patient and be the good guy today, but all that’s gotten me is more bullshit than I have time to deal with. I told you that there were two ways, what you want and what you have. Let me elaborate on that small bit of information. What you want is for the world to go back to the way it was when you went to bed last night. You want your cell phones and your internet. You want the hardest decision of your day to be what you’re going to have for lunch. You want to be able to walk down the street and not worry about what is hiding in the shadows. You want what you can’t have. It’s gone. It’s never coming back. Here is how things are. You are being hunted every second of every day. Right now there are things moving about, just out of view, that want to drag you to the ground and devour you. You don’t have the luxury of being able to live your life like you used to. Sass, you can’t assume the best of people anymore because everybody is fighting to survive. That is going to bring the worse out of everybody. Amanda, you can’t always think that you have the answer because a bullet will not always be what solves your problems now. Veronica, the days of your sex appeal getting you most anything you want are over because there is no more currency in this world. If you want something all you have to do is find it and it’s yours. Shawn, you can’t sell yourself short anymore. You are smart and capable and until you let yourself start believing that, you will put yourself and everyone around you in danger. And Daniel, pure and simple, you need to take your head out of your ass because you are single handedly the most dangerous person in the group. If they start listening to you, they will all die.”

  “How dare you…” Daniel started but he wasn’t going to get back in to this conversation.

  “And just curious here, how many of you noticed that I left Judy off my list? Would you like to know why that is?”

  Amanda’s voice came quick and sharp behind me, “Charlie NO!”

  I spun around and looked at her, “What?! Do you honestly think I am going to tell them something that they don’t already know?”

  Amanda looked away, maybe my rant was losing me points with these people as friends, but at that moment, I could have cared less. Did I say some things that I regretted later? Most definitely I did. However, I had reached my breaking point. Do I wish I had handled it better? Yes. With all my heart I wish that, but the facts remain what they are. I lost control, and by the time I had gotten myself back together, three of us were dead.

  C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - T H R E E

  Sass grabbed both of my shoulders and spun me around hard. As I looked into his eyes I felt nothing but anger. My rage at Daniel was now jumping and transferring to whomever was in front of me. Sass opened his mouth to say something but I spoke first as I pulled free of his grip.

  “We need to leave.” I said. “Anyone who wants to come with me is free to do so; the rest of you can stand in the back of this truck till hell freezes over for all I care.”

  I made to leave and I heard a gun cock behind me. My first thought was Amanda, but then I saw that it was Jim who had pulled a handgun from out of the waistline of his pants.

  “We are not leaving them.” He said in a deep but shaky tone as Amanda’s gun tracked to his head.

  I turned to face the boy and my rage focused on him. The fire of my anger had purged any fear that should have been in my body, and I stalked across the back of the truck towards him. I laughed as he flinched, and I grabbed the gun from his hands.

  “You’re just like everything else we found in

  Gray…useless.” The look on his face said everything there was to say to me. I felt my anger crack when I saw that look. I stayed mad for a while longer but he had broken the worst of it from me.

  “Charlie! That’s too far!” Sass yelled at me.

  And that was when a soft shaky voice from the very back of the truck stopped the fight in its tracks.

  “It may be too far, but it’s what you all deserve.”

  Judy was standing against the tail gate of the truck.

  “You all should be ashamed of yourselves.” She said in a soft, slow voice. Talking seemed to be taking everything she had left in her, but she was not going to be silent anymore.

  “You put this man in charge of this group. You told him to keep you safe and now you argue with him over what he tells you to do? You can’t have it both ways. Either he is in charge or he’s not. No wonder he’s yelling at everyone. How attacked he must feel by the people who claim to be his friends. The very same people who have made him take a job that they won’t let him do.”

  Judy turned to look at me.

  “And you should feel ashamed for attacking these people. They are scared and tired, just as you are, but for them it’s worse because they don’t have a clue how to survive out here. You are their leader, their protector. You are like the father of this family and the well being of your family must always be taken into consideration. You should never verbally abuse them; they are under your protection. Show them love, even when you have to raise your voice, show them love.”

  I nodded in agreement to Judy even though I had no clue what she was talking about. How do you yell at somebody with love?

  “I know you don’t understand what I mean, but you will. In time, you will.”

  “Yes mam.” Was all I could think to say, but Judy had already turned to Jim.

  “And you, young man, I believe the only reason you should ever point a gun at somebody is if they are putting you or the entire group at risk.”

  Jim didn’t know what to say or do; he simply stood there letting Judy have her say. After she was done with him she turned to address all of us.

  “The fact of the matter is that Charlie is right. You need to keep moving, and I am standing in the way of that. I think I could make it over those vehicles, but once I got over there what are you going to do with me? We are still miles from the city, and there is no way I will be able to walk that far. Up here in this truck I am safe. I can stay here till my time comes.”

  And there it was. Judy dropped the last bombshell that she would ever drop and the only one surprised by it was Daniel. Everyone else simply nodded solemnly, but Daniel’s eyes wen
t wide.

  “What do you mean until your time comes?” he asked.

  “You know what I mean Daniel. You know I don’t have a sprained ankle or a concussion.”

  Daniel looked down at the bed of the truck. He seemed to not want to look at Judy. I guess in his mind to see her tell him this would make it real.

  “Don’t say that. You’re going to be fine.” He said.

  “No, I’m not. I wish you had stayed at Gray. I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t want you to have to watch me die.”

  Daniel grew quiet and Judy looked back to me.

  “I can make it over this wall. If we find a truck on the other side then I will go with you. If there isn’t a truck there then I will stay behind. You need to have no guilt about this. I appreciate you letting me stay as long as you did. I figured you and Amanda knew what was going on while we were still in Gray. And even knowing, you let me stay with the group. That is something I can never repay you for.”

  And with that, any argument about going over the wreck ended. Judy had always been one of the most powerful in the group when it came to ending disputes. She was a hell of a woman, and I hated that she would soon be gone. I kept asking myself why it couldn’t have been Daniel that had gotten infected instead, but there was no answer other than fate has a cruel sense of humor.

  “Go ahead now,” Judy said, “You all do what you have to do to find us our path. I think I need to rest a minute before we start.”

  Amanda and Sass left the truck to begin scouting out the best path to take when I heard an engine in the distance. The motor was roaring from down the interstate like a plane about to launch off an aircraft carrier. It was a sound that boldly said, “Here I am and if I see you when I get there then you are SO going to be dead.”

  I motioned for Sass and Amanda to get back into the truck and told everyone to get down where we couldn’t be seen.

  The engine sound turned out to be a Camaro. The four people inside must have been test driving it down the interstate to see how she handled. I couldn’t make out any names, but the driver will be known as scruffy bearded man number one. And scruffy bearded man number two was on the passenger’s side back seat. Hot chick had been in the passenger’s side front seat and apparently she was attached to scruffy bearded man number one. The other side of the back seat had been taken by whiney boy.