Apple-Tempting New: A Tasty Tribute to New Life
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Bring us back at every chance.
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My Grandpa Wears a Halo
My Grandpa wears a halo round his head.
He works and slaves until it’s time for bed.
He’s sweet and kind and has a heart of gold.
He’s fearless, handsome, funny, and so bold.
He’s patient, calm, and has the smartest mind.
He’s the bestest friend I could ever find.
He’s reasonable, too, as any man would be
(He says that fairness is life’s greatest key).
Sincere is he in everything he does.
Most punctual man I’m sure there ever was.
He masters things without becoming mad.
And when it comes to Mom, he’s Sir Galahad.
He laughs so loud whenever jokes are made
You’d think the thunderous sound would never fade.
His sneeze is like a mountain being blown.
He’s the most loving man that I’ve ever known.
My Grandpa wears a halo round his head
That’s snowy white with little drops of red.
It’s light and fluffy, shiny and so fair.
I’m glad my Grandpa’s halo’s only hair!
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Hiccup!
Little Hiccup, rushing out,
I hate you so, I want to shout!
Please don't bother me like this.
You're a friend that I won't miss.
Please, oh please, my little Hiccup,
Go and find a little Shecup.
Think how happy we could be,
You with her and me with me.
Hiccup! Hiccup! Me, oh my.
Leave before I start to cry.
Come on, now, don't be a brat.
Hiccup! Hiccup! Ohhhhh drat!
Now at last I'm feeling fine;
Victory is finally mine.
But Mom's attention's all gone, too.--
Little Hiccup, I do miss you.
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Visit to Santa
I cried 'cuz Mommy woke me up and put me in the tub.
She told me more 'bout Santa Claus with every sudsy rub.
Dad drove for half an hour and I cried 'cuz I was cold.
Then when we finally got there, I was more than bold.
I ate up all the cookies, drank up all the drink,
Pulled the noses of the elves, gave Mrs. Claus a wink.
We stood in line for presents, but then just as we neared,
I cried 'cuz I'm not used to a big, white, fuzzy beard!
I know I'm not quite grown up, at one and one half years,
So I guess it's still okay that I cry a few wet tears.
But most of them were happy, and none of them were sad,
'Cuz this was the bestest Christmas this guy's ever had.
So, thanks, dear fat old Santa, is what I wanna say,
For a very extra special, cryin'-out-loud good day!
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The Real Truth about the Real World
Finally, what lessons would a Little One pass on to his or her brother or sister? Here are some childlike insights that may be worth considering:
The milk is always sweeter on the other side of the chest.
Enjoy the praise now, for, pretty soon, you'll be scolded for loud burps.
When Mommy's cold, Baby has to put on more clothes.
God invented cars to take naps in.
If you pull the cat’s tail, she gets yelled at.
The best way to serve eggs is not fried or boiled or scrambled, but fresh from the shell--on the kitchen floor.
There are six stages in the life of a highchair:
1.Unassembled, new, in the box, waiting for Baby.
2.Put together, shiny and inviting, used for catching small dribbles of strained peas.
3.Slightly stained, used for smearing oatmeal in pre-finger-painting fashion.
4.Very stained, used for scientific research, such as answering the all-important question, "How much milk will the tray hold before it and/or Mommy collapses?"
5.Somewhat shaky, used for moving around the kitchen and climbing up into cabinets and onto counters.
6.Unassembled, back in the box, being occasionally looked at by Mommy, who has tears of memory and relief in her eyes.
Without even trying, babies can make big people smile, laugh, hold their nose, move closer or further away, pick up the same Sippy-cup again and again, fall asleep as soon as they sit down, and even say naughty words sometimes.
God invented dogs to clean up Cheerios tossed from high chairs.
If Mommy’s hungry, I get to have a snack.
Shoes don’t feel good even if they’re on the right feet, ‘cuz toes like to wiggle in the grass.
The cuter the clothes and the more they cost, the more fun it is to wipe strained plums on.
God invented chocolate pudding to use as finger paint on walls and furniture.
If you keep trying, eventually you’ll find a way to fit toys through the bars of Tweety’s cage.
The most powerful words in the whole world are “Mama” and “Dada.”
Everybody says I’m the most beautiful baby they ever saw, so it must be true.
There can never be too many rubber duckies in the bath water.
Daddies smile a lot when they think nobody’s looking.
A diaper can be filled to overflowing faster than somebody can get to a store to buy more.
God invented cashmere sweaters so drool doesn’t drip off Mommy too fast.
Babies didn’t get to do anything in the olden days, when Grandma was young.
It’s alotta work getting those green things out of their pots, but it’s sure fun playing in the dirt on the rug. Tastes good, too.
If you plan a spit-up just right, smelly Aunt Marge leaves you alone.
If you’re a boy, you have to learn how to aim real good, so you should start practicing early, when Mom or Dad lean over to change your diaper.
God invented babies to remind big people how wonderfully exciting life can be.
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