Tales of the Hood

by T K Williams-Nelson

  Vanessa buried her head in my shoulder and bawled her eyes out. It was one of the hardest things seeing her cry. How many deaths had to come before God would forgive me for all the wrong I had done in the past? The only thing I could put this all down to was pure karma. Whether I’d turned my life around or not it was going to come for me regardless. I stood up and ran upstairs into Cameron’s room. I stood looking around in some sort of trance. His bed wasn’t made, waiting for him to come back. His clothes were folded, waiting to be packed away. Some time later Vanessa joined me with a red nose and swollen eyes.

  “What are we meant to do now? Maybe we should go to bed. We’ll have to go to the morgue to identify the body tomorrow,” she suggested carefully.

  “I’m not going sleep tonight. I can’t sleep with this resting on my conscience.”

  ***

  The next day was distressing. Accepting the fact that someone so close wasn’t close anymore. Speaking to this someone only yesterday; joking with this someone only yesterday. I hadn’t slept the whole night and my eyes were burning but I couldn’t care less. I was getting dressed and ready to go to the morgue. Vanessa tried to tell me to slow down but I wasn’t having any of it. I wanted to see him and I wanted to see him now.

  We dropped Shakira at nursery and went straight to the hospital. I gave them Cameron’s details and they took me to the room in which I had to identify him. Side by side, Vanessa and I dreaded the moment when we had to pull back the sheet off the body laying on a slab before us. I took a deep breath with my eyes clenched shut. When I opened them I felt sick. It was him; the same boy I had saved then lost. He just lay there so pale and stagnant. Looking like he was sleeping. Vanessa walked out the room crying but I couldn’t leave. Something glued me to the spot. I leaned over him.

  “I’m sorry man. I don’t know how I could have let this happen to you. We may not be blood but you’re my brother and I love you,” I said emotionally. What more could I have said? I had let him down. I was all he had after that fire and I had let him down. I walked out the room and went to sit in the car park. When Vanessa met me outside I unintentionally vomited next to her. She sat next to me and rubbed my back soothingly.

  “It’s okay now darling, the hard part is over. Let it all out,” she said, comforting me gently.

  I didn’t know what to say. “I have something to sort out so I’m going to take you home and I’ll be back soon,” I said, quickly coming to my senses.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’ll tell you later but we need to go now,” I replied. I wanted to get as far away from here as possible.

  “Okay, but please Jayden don’t do anything stupid. I can’t lose anyone else,” she replied sincerely.

  We jumped in the car and I dropped her home before I made my way to my agent’s house.

  “I want the job in America. I can’t live here any more. It’s like everything’s falling apart around me boss and It’s too much now,” I spewed as soon as the door opened. I was hysterical; pacing in every direction whilst talking.

  “Calm down Jayden, I can’t keep up. What happened?” he asked, trying to make sense of my riddles.

  “Cameron, the boy that I saved and was staying with us, died last night. Some boys killed him over colours boss. Over fucking colours,” I said, letting my tears flow freely. Something so silly led to something so serious.

  “Come in and sit down. I’m going to call the firm as soon as possible and let you know the outcome by this evening but right now have a drink. The streets are becoming more reckless as time goes by,” he said, pouring me a glass.

  “Thanks man and I know. Life itself is becoming reckless. Seriously I don’t know what I would have done without you. You shaped me into what I am today and have believed in me ever since I got signed up. I wouldn’t even have the opportunity to crack America if it weren’t for your connections,” I said, expressing my deepest gratitude.

  “If I didn’t see potential in you I wouldn’t invest time in you. You’re a force to be reckoned with and I know you’re going to do well in America,” he said, as he shook my hand and nodded.

  I drank my drink and got ready to head back home. It was nice to have a little chat about my career. It calmed me down physically and mentally. When I stepped outside I felt uplifted. I drove home and told Vanessa we were going to move as soon as possible.

  “I got offered a contract in America and I’d been taking some time to think about it. Now I’m sure that I want to take this opportunity to leave all this behind and start afresh,” I said, sitting her down. By her initial reaction she seemed pleased but at the same time we’d grown up in this area all our lives and we knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye. Right now I didn’t care about anything except leaving because I’d had enough. I’d had enough of people dying. I’d had enough of this scenery. I’d damn well had enough of everything. I wanted to go and live a normal life with what I had left. I ran upstairs and started packing clothes. I was so distraught. It felt so boring and empty without Cameron. The character we loved was missing. We had to get away. Vanessa tried to calm me down but I brushed her away. I didn’t want to hear anything and nothing had to be said. I just wanted to pack. That was my only comfort right now.

  “Jayden Stop!” she shouted, dragging the case off the bed. I turned around with dripping eyes. “You can’t keep carrying on like this, Jay. We have to be strong. We have to be strong and get through this for Shakira’s sake, like we always do. Maybe we should start planning his funeral. It will make you feel better. We will lay him to rest and he can watch down on us so nothing like this can happen again. Just please stop this,” she said, looking slightly frightened. Shakira came up the stairs and into my arms. “See we have a beautiful daughter that needs full time care. If you’re like this, how are we meant to do that? You have to pull yourself together,” she said, pulling me towards her.

  “I know man but it’s so hard. We got so close. We were all he had left and I fucked it all up.” I didn’t care about my status, who I was or where I was at. What I was meant to achieve, I failed.

  The next day, after Shakira went off to nursery, me and Vanessa went to arrange Cameron’s funeral. We arranged the transport to and from the church where his own mum and dad were laid to rest. His mum and dad had a funeral soon after the fire but he didn’t go; said he couldn’t face it. We thought to bury him in the same graveyard; show that they were still a family in their own right. His coffin was designed with music notes and his clothes were fresher than ever. I didn’t know if he had any other family so I didn’t know who to invite. Every time we saw people that raved at Dreams or the club he started at they paid their condolences. A lot were affected by his death but never as much as I was. The funeral was a week and a half from now and I dreaded every day that went by. It felt like it was just closing in on us. Everything was closing in on us: the walls; my life; the world. It was trying to trap us but I wouldn’t let it. I kept my guard up and fought back all the negativity that threatened me. I learnt from when I was younger that you should always be alert because if not, that’s when karma catches up with you most because it can do more damage when it’s not expected. When I was younger I told myself I was never going to let that happen to me. But look at me now. Once again, I have failed and this time I have failed myself.

  ***

  The day came when we were all dressed in black, waiting for the hearse to pull up outside. It was a grim Friday but Vanessa dropped Shakira to nursery then came back to get ready. I spoke to my agent and he had landed me that job in America. We were leaving tomorrow; the sooner the better. This place had too many memories, which I would gladly forget in a better environment. But today wasn’t the time to be thinking about tomorrow, it was the time to remember Cameron and the good he brought to our lives.

  When we arrived at the church there were loads of people paying their respects, most of them who had heard him play and appreciated his talent like I did. There were young, old, big
and small. It was remarkable to see the impact he had had on people in the short space of time he became known. We all sat down and the service began.

  “We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our brother Cameron Daniels. He was a boy that not long ago lost his family in a tragedy and is now lost in his own. Dedicated to music and life he will be dearly missed. Now, here are a few words from a friend, Jordan,” the priest said clearly.

  “Hey everyone. My name’s Jordan and I was Cameron’s close friend. Cameron was a good guy. In fact he was a great guy. We had many good times together that I will cherish for the rest of my life. When he lost his mum and dad he was in a really bad place before Jayden became his legal guardian. It wasn’t his time to go. He was at a peak of his life where he was happy but it was brutally taken by the very same people that paid to listen to his music. His death should make us realise that it is time to make a change. Stop all this gang violence for the better. Stop fighting over colours because it’s pointless. Innocent people are the ones that have to pay. I loved him like he was my brother and I will continue to love him throughout my life. Things shouldn’t have to be this way. If they weren’t then maybe he would be here today. Thank you for listening,” he said giving a truly moving speech.

  “Thank you very much, Jordan, for that touching speech of yours. Cameron’s guardian Jayden would now like to say a few words,” the priest introduced.

  “As you all know me and Cameron were close. I’m not here today as an artist in the music industry. I’m here today as a grieving man. It was only a year and a half ago that I saved Cameron from a fire on the night of my wedding where he lost both his mother and father. Since then he had been living with me and my wife, and I encouraged him to get into something he liked to take his mind off the pain. Little did I know that same something would lead us here today. That boy was a brother to me ever since that night. We had a profound bond that can never be explained nor broken. I’m going to miss him. Don’t worry Cameron, I’ll see you when I get there,” I said with a final salute. Tears burned my eyes but I contained myself. I still didn’t want to believe he was gone so soon. I went back to my seat and lay on Vanessa’s shoulder.

  “You were good up there Jay. Things will soon sort out for us,” she said adoringly.

  We sang few hymns and played his favourite song then we carried his body out to be buried. After the ceremony I didn’t see any point of celebrating because there was nothing to be proud of and nothing to be happy about. Even though I knew it’s what he would have wanted I wasn’t up for the party.

  “Vanessa I’m going to go pick up Shakira and drop her off here, then I’m going home to pack our things,” I said, thinking about our departure in less than twenty-four hours.

  “Why so soon? You should be enjoying this time the most. Not because He’s gone but because this is what he would have wanted. Celebrate his life,” she spoke as she straightened my tie.

  “It’s not like that for me babe. It’s really not. I’ll call you when I’m on my way back,” I replied, kissing her cheek. I got in the car and drove around for a while. I needed to think properly about what my next step would be; how my lifestyle was going to change dramatically after tonight. I was glad to be leaving for America tomorrow but at the same time there was so much I was leaving behind. I remembered Maurice’s suicide letter. It was that which motivated me to be where I am now; to take music seriously to avoid ending up where he was. I cleared my head thoroughly then drove to the nursery. I marched up to the desk feeling happy to see my little girl.

  “I’m here to pick up Shakira from the nursery department,” I said to the receptionist. The lady flicked through the register and looked up at me oddly.

  “Sir, Shakira was picked up almost an hour ago,” she said. I stared at her blankly.

  “That can’t be right. Her mother and I have been at a funeral all day so she has to be here,” I replied, certain that she had made an error.

  “Well I’m sorry sir but you must be mistaken. Shakira left here with a man just a bit taller than you with black sun glasses on” she said confidently.

  “How could you let her go with a stranger!” I shouted, starting to panic.

  “Sir could you calm down whilst we try to resolve the matter. I’m really sorry for the mistake” she replied, fearful of my reaction.

  “No! You shouldn’t have let the mistake happen in the first place. What kind of nursery is this? Allowing people to come and take kids without any identification.”

  “He provided Shakira’s full name and a valid address. Mr Daley we will do everything we can to rectify our mistake if you could take a seat” she replied seemingly terrified.

  I walked out of the nursery fuming and called Vanessa immediately. “Vanessa, I don’t want you to make a scene but I just came to pick up Shakira and she’s not here” I said as my chest tightened.

  “What do you mean she’s not there? So where is she?”

  “The receptionist gave me a description of a man that picked her up and it breaks my heart to say I think it’s Jamal. I can’t believe they would allow him to take her.”

  “What do you mean you think! We have to call the police Jayden. I’m coming home now so be there in five” she said strictly. She hung up leaving me worried. I couldn’t go through this again. If he had my daughter, things just went up a level.

  ***

  I sat in the living room whilst Vanessa paced up and down.

  “Call him Jayden. If he’s got my daughter I swear I’m going to kill him. Call him!” she repeated.

  “Vanessa, I don’t have his number. He’s my worst enemy, I’m not just going to go through my contacts and say, oh there’s Jamal.”

  “Okay then I’m going to the police. This is fucking ridiculous. If this is between you and him why is he getting Shakira involved? How the fuck does he even know what nursery she goes to? I’m going to go nuts!” she screamed, frustrated at the lack of power we had. It was then my mobile began to vibrate on the table. Vanessa launched at it and answered. “Hello who’s this?” she asked firmly.

  “If you want her back, then drop the attitude rude girl. Now put Jayden on the phone. No funny business or it won’t be pretty to be honest,” he said in monotone. I knew from the look in her eyes and the way she handed me the phone that it was Jamal.

  “What are you playing at? What right do you think you have taking my daughter? Jamal this shit has gone too far now. Actually this shit went too far a long time ago. Where are you?” I shouted.

  “First of all, I don’t know who you’re shouting at. Doesn’t it faze you that I have your little girl? You need to tone it down. I haven’t got time for chit chat. Meet me at the south side warehouse in twenty minutes. If you’re not there I get the message that you don’t want your little one.”

  He locked off the phone and I threw it against the wall. Vanessa had heard the whole conversation and ran upstairs. This seemed so unrealistic but it was more real than ever. He could be doing anything to her right now. I went upstairs and changed my clothes. Angry tears streamed down my face as I put on my jacket. Vanessa went to sit in the car and calm her nerves for whatever was going to happen next. I didn’t have time to calm nerves. I was looking to dead someone with a passion!

  ***

  When we got to the warehouse there was a blacked-out car parked outside. I ran up to it and banged on the windows but there was no one inside. Vanessa stayed in the car. “I’m going inside. If I don’t come out in ten minutes come in to see what’s going on but please, be careful.” I kissed her longingly before I jogged into the warehouse.

  When I stepped in Jamal was sitting on a chair in the middle with Shakira on his lap. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy so I knew she had been crying. She tried to run to me but he dragged her back firmly. “Jamal this isn’t a joke! Just give me my daughter and let’s end this now. We’re both grown men but yet you’re acting like this is a game. You’ve always acted like this is a game. It’s over!” I
shouted furiously.

  “Well you took your time. Don’t talk to me about games because you know damn well why all this is happening. Your stupid brat wouldn’t stop crying until I gave her something to cry about. Where’s the missus? I want her to see the action,” he said, smiling cunningly.

  I felt scorching. My blood was boiling but I had to keep it under control for Shakira’s sake. I walked outside and called Vanessa in. If we wanted to get anywhere we had to comply for the time being. We stood together as she sobbed silently on my shoulder.

  “So Jayden, why don’t you tell Vanessa here why this has all been happening to you? Why I’ve been doing this to you. There are billions of other people in this world but I so happen to choose you,” he tested.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jamal. Let’s stop this and go home” I replied, becoming increasingly nervous. Vanessa stood straight and looked in my face.

  “What’s he talking about? Why is this all happening to you? You must have done something. What did you do?” she screamed, finally breaking down at the situation.

  “Calm down, I don’t know what he’s talking about. Please just be cool and I’ll sort it.”

  “Nah tell her Jayden. Tell her what you done when we was younger. What you and your waste man friend Maurice did. Thought I would ever forget it? Thought I would ever just let it go? Tell her,” he stressed.

  “Jayden if you do not tell me what’s going on now I swear to God I’ll kill you if he harms one hair on my daughter’s head,” Vanessa said, backing away slowly. I looked at her serious face and dropped my head in shame. I didn’t think it would have to come to this. I didn’t think I would ever have to regurgitate the memories from my dark past. A past I was never proud of and spent forever running from.

  “I have nothing to tell her Jamal, so stop playing your stupid games,” I lied, trying to wriggle out of the matter. I stepped forward but he rapidly stood up and pulled a gun from his waist. He gripped Shakira’s hand tightly and she began to cry.