Complete Works of J. M. Barrie

by Unknown

  “Ye’ll no ken,” said Pete, chuckling, “what it means?”

  “Na,” the farmer admitted, “na, I canna say I exac’ly ken that.”

  “I ken, though,” said Tammas, in his keen way.

  “Weel, then, what is’t?” demanded Pete, who had never properly come under Tammas’s spell.

  “I ken,” said Tammas.

  “Oot wi’t then.”

  “I dinna say it’s lyin’ on my tongue,” Tammas replied, in a tone of reproof, “but if ye’ll juist speak awa aboot some other thing for a meenute or twa, I’ll tell ye syne.”

  Hendry said that this was only reasonable, but we could think of no subject at the moment, so we only stared at Tammas, and waited.

  “I fathomed it,” he said at last, “as sune as my een lichted on’t. It’s one o’ the bit cards ‘at grand fowk slip ‘aneath doors when they mak calls, an’ their friends is no in. Ay, that’s what it is.”

  “I dinna say ye’re wrang,” Pete answered, a little annoyed. “Ay, weel, lads, of course David Alexander’s oor Dite as we called ‘im, Dite Elshioner, an’ that’s his wy o’ signifyin’ to us ‘at he’s married.”

  “I assure ye,” said Hendry, “Dite’s doin’ the thing in style.”

  “Ay, we said that when the card arrived,” Pete admitted.

  “I kent,” said Tammas, “‘at that was the wy grand fowk did when they got married. I’ve kent it a lang time. It’s no nae surprise to me.”

  “He’s been lang in marryin’,” Hookey Crewe said.

  “He was thirty at Martinmas,” said Pete.

  “Thirty, was he?” said Hookey. “Man, I’d buried twa wives by the time I was that age, an’ was castin’ aboot for a third.”

  “I mind o’ them,” Hendry interposed.

  “Ay,” Hookey said, “the first twa was angels.” There he paused. “An’ so’s the third,” he added, “in many respects.”

  “But wha’s the woman Dite’s ta’en?” T’nowhead or some one of the more silent members of the company asked of Pete.

  “Ou, we dinna ken wha she is,” answered Pete; “but she’ll be some Glasca lassie, for he’s there noo. Look, lads, look at this. He sent this at the same time; it’s her picture.” Pete produced the silhouette of a young lady, and handed it round.

  “What do ye think?” he asked.

  “I assure ye!” said Hookey.

  “Sal,” said Hendry, even more charmed, “Dite’s done weel.”

  “Lat’s see her in a better licht,” said Tammas.

  He stood up and examined the photograph narrowly, while Pete fidgeted with his legs.

  “Fairish,” said Tammas at last. “Ou, ay; no what I would selec’ mysel, but a dainty bit stocky! Ou, a tasty crittury! ay, an’ she’s weel in order. Lads, she’s a fine stoot kimmer.”

  “I conseeder her a beauty,” said Pete, aggressively.

  “She’s a’ that,” said Hendry.

  “A’ I can say,” said Hookey, “is ‘at she taks me most michty.”

  “She’s no a beauty,” Tammas maintained; “na, she doesna juist come up to that; but I dinna deny but what she’s weel faured.”

  “What taut do ye find wi’ her, Tammas?” asked Hendry.

  “Conseedered critically,” said Tammas, holding the photograph at arm’s length, “I would say ‘at she — let’s see noo; ay, I would say ‘at she’s defeecient in genteelity.”

  “Havers,” said Pete.

  “Na,” said Tammas, “no when conseedered critically. Ye see she’s drawn lauchin’; an’ the genteel thing’s no to lauch, but juist to put on a bit smirk. Ay, that’s the genteel thing.”

  “A smile, they ca’ it,” interposed T’nowhead.

  “I said a smile,” continued Tammas. “Then there’s her waist. I say naething agin her waist, speakin’ in the ord’nar meanin’; but, conseedered critically, there’s a want o’ suppleness, as ye micht say, aboot it. Ay, it doesna compare wi’ the waist o’ — —” (Here Tammas mentioned a young lady who had recently married into a local county family.)

  “That was a pretty tiddy,” said Hookey, “Ou, losh, ay! it made me a kind o’ queery to look at her.”

  “Ye’re ower kyowowy (particular), Tammas,” said Pete.

  “I may be, Pete,” Tammas admitted; “but I maun say I’m fond o’ a bonny-looken wuman, an’ no aisy to please; na, I’m nat’rally ane o’ the critical kind.”

  “It’s extror’nar,” said T’nowhead, “what a poo’er beauty has. I mind when I was a callant readin’ aboot Mary Queen o’ Scots till I was fair mad, lads; yes, I was fair mad at her bein’ deid. Ou, I could hardly sleep at nichts for thinking o’ her.”

  “Mary was spunky as weel as a beauty,” said Hookey, “an’ that’s the kind I like. Lads, what a persuasive tid she was!”

  “She got roond the men,” said Hendry, “ay, she turned them roond her finger. That’s the warst o’ thae beauties.”

  “I dinna gainsay,” said T’nowhead, “but what there was a little o’ the deevil in Mary, the crittur.”

  Here T’nowhead chuckled, and then looked scared.

  “What Mary needed,” said Tammas, “was a strong man to manage her.”

  “Ay, man, but it’s ill to manage thae beauties. They gie ye a glint o’ their een, an’ syne whaur are ye?”

  “Ah, they can be managed,” said Tammas, complacently. “There’s naebody nat’rally safter wi’ a pretty stocky o’ a bit wumany than mysel; but for a’ that, if I had been Mary’s man I would hae stood nane o’ her tantrums. ‘Na, Mary, my lass,’ I would hae said, ‘this winna do; na, na, ye’re a bonny body, but ye maun mind ‘at man’s the superior; ay, man’s the lord o’ creation, an’ so ye maun juist sing sma’.’ That’s hoo I would hae managed Mary, the speerity crittur ‘at she was.”

  “Ye would hae haen yer wark cut oot for ye, Tammas.”

  “Ilka mornin’,” pursued Tammas, “I would hae said to her, ‘Mary,’ I would hae said, ‘wha’s to wear thae breeks the day, you or me?’ Ay, syne I would hae ordered her to kindle the fire, or if I had been the king, of coorse I would hae telt her instead to ring the bell an’ hae the cloth laid for the breakfast. Ay, that’s the wy to mak the like o’ Mary respec ye.”

  Pete and I left them talking. He had written a letter to David Alexander, and wanted me to “back” it.

  CHAPTER X

  A MAGNUM OPUS

  Two Bibles, a volume of sermons by the learned Dr. Isaac Barrow, a few numbers of the Cheap Magazine, that had strayed from Dunfermline, and a “Pilgrim’s Progress,” were the works that lay conspicuous ben in the room. Hendry had also a copy of Burns, whom he always quoted in the complete poem, and a collection of legends in song and prose, that Leeby kept out of sight in a drawer.

  The weight of my box of books was a subject Hendry was very willing to shake his head over, but he never showed any desire to take off the lid. Jess, however, was more curious; indeed, she would have been an omnivorous devourer of books had it not been for her conviction that reading was idling. Until I found her out she never allowed to me that Leeby brought her my books one at a time. Some of them were novels, and Jess took about ten minutes to each. She confessed that what she read was only the last chapter, owing to a consuming curiosity to know whether “she got him.”

  She read all the London part, however, of “The Heart of Midlothian,” because London was where Jamie lived, and she and I had a discussion about it which ended in her remembering that Thrums once had an author of its own.

  “Bring oot the book,” she said to Leeby; “it was put awa i’ the bottom drawer ben i’ the room sax year syne, an’ I sepad it’s there yet.”

  Leeby came but with a faded little book, the title already rubbed from its shabby brown covers. I opened it, and then all at once I saw before me again the man who wrote and printed it and died. He came hobbling up the brae, so bent that his body was almost at right angles to his legs, and his broken silk hat was carefully brushed as in the days when Ja
net, his sister, lived. There he stood at the top of the brae, panting.

  I was but a boy when Jimsy Duthie turned the corner of the brae for the last time, with a score of mourners behind him. While I knew him there was no Janet to run to the door to see if he was coming. So occupied was Jimsy with the great affair of his life, which was brewing for thirty years, that his neighbours saw how he missed his sister better than he realized it himself. Only his hat was no longer carefully brushed, and his coat hung awry, and there was sometimes little reason why he should go home to dinner. It is for the sake of Janet who adored him that we should remember Jimsy in the days before she died.

  Jimsy was a poet, and for the space of thirty years he lived in a great epic on the Millennium. This is the book presented to me by Jess, that lies so quietly on my topmost shelf now. Open it, however, and you will find that the work is entitled “The Millennium: an Epic Poem, in Twelve Books: by James Duthie.” In the little hole in his wall where Jimsy kept his books there was, I have no doubt — for his effects were rouped before I knew him except by name — a well-read copy of “Paradise Lost.” Some people would smile, perhaps, if they read the two epics side by side, and others might sigh, for there is a great deal in “The Millennium” that Milton could take credit for. Jimsy had educated himself, after the idea of writing something that the world would not willingly let die came to him, and he began his book before his education was complete. So far as I know, he never wrote a line that had not to do with “The Millennium.” He was ever a man sparing of his plural tenses, and “The Millennium” says “has” for “have”; a vain word, indeed, which Thrums would only have permitted as a poetical licence. The one original character in the poem is the devil, of whom Jimsy gives a picture that is startling and graphic, and received the approval of the Auld Licht minister.

  By trade Jimsy was a printer, a master-printer with no one under him, and he printed and bound his book, ten copies in all, as well as wrote it. To print the poem took him, I dare say, nearly as long as to write it, and he set up the pages as they were written, one by one. The book is only printed on one side of the leaf, and each page was produced separately like a little handbill. Those who may pick up the book — but who will care to do so? — will think that the author or his printer could not spell — but they would not do Jimsy that injustice if they knew the circumstances in which it was produced. He had but a small stock of type, and on many occasions he ran out of a letter. The letter e tried him sorely. Those who knew him best said that he tried to think of words without an e in them, but when he was baffled he had to use a little a or an o instead. He could print correctly, but in the book there are a good many capital letters in the middle of words, and sometimes there is a note of interrogation after “alas” or “Woes me,” because all the notes of exclamation had been used up.

  Jimsy never cared to speak about his great poem even to his closest friends, but Janet told how he read it out to her, and that his whole body trembled with excitement while he raised his eyes to heaven as if asking for inspiration that would enable his voice to do justice to his writing. So grand it was, said Janet, that her stocking would slip from her fingers as he read — and Janet’s stockings, that she was always knitting when not otherwise engaged, did not slip from her hands readily. After her death he was heard by his neighbours reciting the poem to himself, generally with his door locked. He is said to have declaimed part of it one still evening from the top of the commonty like one addressing a multitude, and the idlers who had crept up to jeer at him fell back when they saw his face. He walked through them, they told, with his old body straight once more, and a queer light playing on his face. His lips are moving as I see him turning the corner of the brae. So he passed from youth to old age, and all his life seemed a dream, except that part of it in which he was writing, or printing, or stitching, or binding “The Millennium.” At last the work was completed.

  “It is finished,” he printed at the end of the last book. “The task of thirty years is over.”

  It is indeed over. No one ever read “The Millennium.” I am not going to sentimentalize over my copy, for how much of it have I read? But neither shall I say that it was written to no end.

  You may care to know the last of Jimsy, though in one sense he was blotted out when the last copy was bound. He had saved one hundred pounds by that time, and being now neither able to work nor to live alone, his friends cast about for a home for his remaining years. He was very spent and feeble, yet he had the fear that he might be still alive when all his money was gone. After that was the workhouse. He covered sheets of paper with calculations about how long the hundred pounds would last if he gave away for board and lodgings ten shillings, nine shillings, seven and sixpence a week. At last, with sore misgivings, he went to live with a family who took him for eight shillings. Less than a month afterwards he died.

  CHAPTER XI

  THE GHOST CRADLE

  Our dinner-hour was twelve o’clock, and Hendry, for a not incomprehensible reason, called this meal his brose. Frequently, however, while I was there to share the expense, broth was put on the table, with beef to follow in clean plates, much to Hendry’s distress, for the comfortable and usual practice was to eat the beef from the broth-plates. Jess, however, having three whole white plates and two cracked ones, insisted on the meals being taken genteelly, and her husband, with a look at me, gave way.

  “Half a pound o’ boiling beef, an’ a penny bone,” was Leeby’s almost invariable order when she dealt with the flesher, and Jess had always neighbours poorer than herself who got a plateful of the broth. She never had anything without remembering some old body who would be the better of a little of it.

  Among those who must have missed Jess sadly after she was gone was Johnny Proctor, a half-witted man who, because he could not work, remained straight at a time of life when most weavers, male and female, had lost some inches of their stature. For as far back as my memory goes, Johnny had got his brose three times a week from Jess, his custom being to walk in without ceremony, and, drawing a stool to the table, tell Leeby that he was now ready. One day, however, when I was in the garden putting some rings on a fishing-wand, Johnny pushed by me, with no sign of recognition on his face. I addressed him, and, after pausing undecidedly, he ignored me. When he came to the door, instead of flinging it open and walking in, he knocked primly, which surprised me so much that I followed him.

  “Is this whaur Mistress McQumpha lives?” he asked, when Leeby, with a face ready to receive the minister himself, came at length to the door.

  I knew that the gentility of the knock had taken both her and her mother aback.

  “Hoots, Johnny,” said Leeby, “what haver’s this? Come awa in.”

  Johnny seemed annoyed.

  “Is this whaur Mistress McQumpha lives?” he repeated.

  “Say ‘at it is,” cried Jess, who was quicker in the uptake than her daughter.

  “Of course this is whaur Mistress McQumpha lives,” Leeby then said, “as weel ye ken, for ye had yer dinner here no twa hours syne.”

  “Then,” said Johnny, “Mistress Tully’s compliments to her, and would she kindly lend the christenin’ robe, an’ also the tea-tray, if the same be na needed?”

  Having delivered his message as instructed, Johnny consented to sit down until the famous christening robe and the tray were ready, but he would not talk, for that was not in the bond. Jess’s sweet face beamed over the compliment Mrs. Tully, known on ordinary occasions as Jean McTaggart, had paid her, and, after Johnny had departed laden, she told me how the tray, which had a great bump in the middle, came into her possession.

  “Ye’ve often heard me speak aboot the time when I was a lassie workin’ at the farm o’ the Bog? Ay, that was afore me an’ Hendry kent ane anither, an’ I was as fleet on my feet in thae days as Leeby is noo. It was Sam’l Fletcher ‘at was the farmer, but he maun hae been gone afore you was mair than born. Mebbe, though, ye ken ‘at he was a terrible invalid, an’ for the hinmo
st years o’ his life he sat in a muckle chair nicht an’ day. Ay, when I took his denner to ‘im, on that very tray ‘at Johnny cam for, I little thocht ‘at by an’ by I would be sae keepit in a chair mysel.

  “But the thinkin’ o’ Sam’l Fletcher’s case is ane o’ the things ‘at maks me awfu’ thankfu’ for the lenient wy the Lord has aye dealt wi’ me; for Sam’l couldna move oot o’ the chair, aye sleepin in’t at nicht, an’ I can come an’ gang between mine an’ my bed. Mebbe, ye think I’m no much better off than Sam’l, but that’s a terrible mistak. What a glory it would hae been to him if he could hae gone frae one end o’ the kitchen to the ither. Ay, I’m sure o’ that.

  “Sam’l was rale weel liked, for he was saft-spoken to everybody, an’ fond o’ ha’en a gossip wi’ ony ane ‘at was aboot the farm. We didna care sae muckle for the wife, Eppie Lownie, for she managed the farm, an’ she was fell hard an’ terrible reserved we thocht, no even likin’ ony body to get friendly wi’ the mester, as we called Sam’l. Ay, we made a richt mistak.”

  As I had heard frequently of this queer, mournful mistake made by those who considered Sam’l unfortunate in his wife, I turned Jess on to the main line of her story.

  “It was the ghost cradle, as they named it, ‘at I meant to tell ye aboot. The Bog was a bigger farm in thae days than noo, but I daursay it has the new steadin’ yet. Ay, it winna be new noo, but at the time there were sic a commotion aboot the ghost cradle, they were juist puttin’ the new steadin’ up. There was sax or mair masons at it, wi’ the lads on the farm helpin’, an’ as they were all sleepin’ at the farm, there was great stir aboot the place. I couldna tell ye hoo the story aboot the farm’s bein’ haunted rose, to begin wi’, but I mind fine hoo fleid I was; ay, an’ no only me, but every man-body an’ woman-body on the farm. It was aye late ‘at the soond began, an’ we never saw naething, we juist heard it. The masons said they wouldna hae been sae fleid if they could hae seen’t, but it never was seen. It had the soond o’ a cradle rockin’, an’ when we lay in our beds hearkenin’, it grew louder an’ louder till it wasna to be borne, an’ the womenfolk fair skirled wi’ fear. The mester was intimate wi’ a’ the stories aboot ghosts an’ water-kelpies an’ sic like, an’ we couldna help listenin’ to them. But he aye said ‘at ghosts ‘at was juist heard an’ no seen was the maist fearsome an’ wicked. For all there was sic fear ower the hale farm-toon ‘at naebody would gang ower the door alane after the gloamin’ cam, the mester said he wasna fleid to sleep i’ the kitchen by ‘imsel. We thocht it richt brave o’ ‘im, for ye see he was as helpless as a bairn.