Complete Works of J. M. Barrie

by Unknown

  BABBIE (faintly). Shall I?

  GAVIN. Your life must often have been hard — oh, the joy to me in making it sumptuous!

  BABBIE (murmuring). Sumptuous!

  GAVIN. Babbie — (Turns to her) — there is a drawingroom!

  BABBIE. No!

  GAVIN.! HAVE BEEN USING IT AS A study, BUT OUT GOES THE TABLE, OUT go THE BOOKS. It’S A LARGE ROOM, SIXTEEN FEET BY TWELVE.

  BABBIE (jumping up in glee). Sixteen feet by twelve! Let me see.

  (Both laugh.)

  (She measures on floor with her feet.) Oh!

  GAVIN. As far as from here to that wall, and nearly as wide. Babbie, that shall be your room!

  BABBIE. Let me shut my eyes and see it. I love it when I shut my eyes — but when I open them — oh, wow, wow, wow! Minister dear!

  GAVIN.! OUGHT TO TELL YOU THAT! AM A MAN OF CONSIDERABLE MEANS.

  BABBIE. Are you?

  GAVIN. My congregation make the sum up to a hundred and forty pounds a year!

  BABBIE. So much!

  GAVIN. I told them they were going too fast, but they would do it. (With sudden transport, shyly taking her hands) Babbie, I shall buy you a silk dress — (Backs away a little) — yes, black, with beads on it!

  BABBIE. Oh, let me shut my eyes again!

  GAVIN (apologetic). Of course, you would have to wear shoes.

  BABBIE. What, every day?

  GAVIN (stepping back). As my wife —

  BABBIE. And stockings, too?

  GAVIN. My position, you know. (Goes to a little above her — a glorious secret.) But sometimes — in the evening — not often, but sometimes — when we are alone together, you and I —

  BABBIE (fascinated). You and I! (She puts her head on his shoulder.)

  GAVIN (over her shoulder). My wife and I! — I mean when we are really alone — that is, when the blinds are down and the shutters are on, and the servant has gone to bed — (A sudden thought) Babbie, you will have a servant!

  BABBIE. Oh, it is too much!

  GAVIN. Not at all. And when on such a night as I spoke of Mrs. Dishart —

  BABBIE. Mrs. Dishart?

  GAVIN. She will slip out of her drawingroom, and her husband —

  BABBIE. Her husband!

  GAVIN. That is me.

  BABBIE (breathless). Is that you?

  GAVIN. It must be me when you are the wife.

  BABBIE (wistfully). Must it?

  GAVIN (gloriously). Yes. He will pretend not to notice. And presently there will come popping into the drawingroom a barefooted girl in a gipsy frock, with rowan berries in her hair, and he will pretend to be shocked, and he will exclaim —

  BABBIE (coming quickly forward with left hand raised and still carried away). ‘Woman, stand forward!’ gavin (glorious). Yes! And then when he sees her face — oh, her face — he will say, ‘My beloved,’ and take her in his arms — (Laughs) — you know how!

  (She is expecting him to do it, and is disappointed when he doesn’t.)

  BABBIE (plaintively). No, I don’t know how!

  (He embraces her rapturously and she loves it. Then she breaks away.)

  GAVIN. My own, my own. (Goes up stage dancing with joy.) Shouldn’t I have done it?

  BABBIE (crushed). I wanted you to do it. I suppose I made you do it.

  GAVIN. Darling, darling, darling — oh, what a word! I would have done it at any rate.

  BABBIE (slightly appeased). Would you? (Going to him and taking hold of the lapels of his coat) You won’t want to do it in another moment. Little man, big man, I can’t go on with this. This horrible woman does not have the courage. You and I — we are of different worlds, my lovely loving dear. I couldn’t face yours. I must tell you why. It is not because I am a gipsy.... My father...

  GAVIN (stoutly). I care not what he may have done — not though he were a criminal — I love you and that is enough.

  BABBIE. A criminal! My poor father! (She can’t help laughing rather hysterically.)

  GAVIN. You laugh.

  BABBIE (putting hands on his shoulders). Don’t grudge me laughing, dear solemn, twisty mouth, darling little necktie.

  (Fingers necktie.) I am going to tell you the truth now. (Faltering) Oh, dear! I am going to hurt my pretty darling Gavin.

  GAVIN. You can’t hurt me. I love you! I love you!

  (Starts back) Oh!

  BABBIE. What is it? Speak.

  GAVIN. I’ve just remembered! My prayer meeting!

  (A door shuts upstairs. In despair she hurries back into her room and shuts the door, LORD RINTOUL comes down the stair followed by CAPTAIN HALLIWELL.)

  LORD RINTOUL (on staircase: genially). Ah, Mr. Dishart — (Coming down to GAVIN at fire) — my humblest apologies for keeping you waiting so long. (Shakes hands.) You and Captain Halliwell already know each other.

  (HALLIWELL acknowledges GAVIN.)

  Let me thank you again for the good services you rendered us on that — not very fortunate occasion.

  HALLIWELL. I thank you also, Mr. Dishart — though nothing came of it.

  LORD RINTOUL (signing to gavin to be seated). One thing at all events has come of it — that I welcome you heartily, Mr. Dishart, to Rintoul.

  (HALLIWELL sits on couch.)

  GAVIN (awkwardly). You are very good. (The door is much on his mind.)

  HALLIWELL (indifferently). I hope Mrs. Dishart is well. She was very agitated that night, Sergeant Davidson told me. You may remember you introduced him to her in the wood.

  GAVIN. I remember! (He looks at fire.)

  LORD RINTOUL. Which reminds me — that we have not yet called on her I must ask my daughter to do so.

  GAVIN (hurriedly). There is no necessity to —

  LORD RINTOUL (genially’). It will be a pleasure to her. You have been seeing a good deal of her lately — so she tells me.

  (GAVIN wonders.) I hope she has been of real service to you while you were visiting my tenants. I instructed her to give you every help in her power, and I may say that if she has made as favourable an impression upon you as she assures me you have made upon her, I shall be vastly pleased.

  GAVIN (puzzled, but not wishing to expose his lordship’s daughter). Thank you — I quite — thank you. (He feels that he is weak, and rises manfully to be bold) Lord Rintoul —

  (Here the music of song on pipes begins again off but is nearer now. CAPTAIN HALLIWELL winces and is obviously very angry. He paces to and fro. LORD RINTOUL thoroughly enjoys the situation and looks at GAVIN with a twinkle. He rings bell. After a pause THWAITES comes to him. LORD RINTOUL says something to THWAITES in low voice, THWAITES goes. The music continues, CAPTAIN HALLIWELL is more and more angry. GAVIN can’t help exchanging a smile with LORD RINTOUL, which CAPTAIN HALLIWELL sees. Suddenly the music stops.)

  LORD RINTOUL (explanatory to HALLIWELL). They are not my men, you know.

  (halliwell frowns, lord rintoul addresses gavin.)

  Captain Halliwell is not musical.

  GAVIN (rising again to his task). Lord Rintoul, the kindness of your reception makes it the more desirable that I should acquaint you at once with my object in coming here. It was not, I need hardly say to talk of your daughter — however accomplished — but to plead with you — and with you, too, sir, for another and less happy woman.

  LORD RINTOUL. I confess I don’t follow you.

  GAVIN. I mean the gipsy girl.

  (HALLIWELL swings round at this.)

  It is admitted that no further action is to be taken against the misguided weavers — why, then, not show a similar clemency to her?

  LORD RINTOUL (surprised). Well-a-day, Mr. Dishart! I have not been so taken aback since one of your weavers plugged my mouth with a divot.

  GAVIN. Her intentions were the most generous —

  LORD RINTOUL. So was the divot!

  GAVIN. You, Captain Halliwell —

  HALLIWELL. I tell you, Mr. Dishart, decisively, that this matter does not end until I have that accursed jade in jail.

  GAV
IN. You are pitiless!

  HALLIWELL. Quite! So no more of this.

  LORD RINTOUL (slyly). You forget the song, Mr. Dishart!

  GAVIN (hesitating, and then breaking out passionately). There shall be more of it, sir. When I heard that a madman had seized her and was dragging her here for a reason you little understand, I ran after him to tear her from him. I was too late, but I am not too late to beg of you — and if that is useless, to insist — that you set her free.

  LORD RINTOUL (astounded.) The gipsy — here?

  GAVIN. Is it not poor fooling to pretend to me that she is not here?

  LORD RINTOUL. But, my dear man —

  HALLIWELL. Excuse me, Rintoul, this seems to have become my affair. (Signing caution to lord rintoul) Well, Mr. Dishart, suppose she is here — what then?

  GAVIN (scornfully). Suppose!

  HALLIWELL (exchanging a look with lord rintoul). I admit that she is here.

  (LORD RINTOUL perceives the scheme.)

  What has that to do with you? And what gives you the right to insist on her being released?

  GAVIN. This. She is innocent of the charges brought against her. It was not she who prevented your arresting the rioters.

  HALLIWELL (scoffing). Indeed!

  GAVIN. It WAS I!

  LORD RINTOUL. What’s that? Come, come, Mr. Dishart, we know better. You forget that you were overheard denouncing the watchers as law-breakers and ordering them to their homes.

  HALLIWELL. We know also that you were seen trying to chase the gipsy from the wood immediately before she blew that infernal horn.

  GAVIN. She did not blow the horn — I blew it! It was I who alarmed the town!

  LORD RINTOUL (KINDLY). Be careful. Come, come, you must not say a thing like that.

  GAVIN. It is the truth.

  HALLIWELL. On your oath, sir.

  GAVIN. On my oath.

  HALLIWELL. Rintoul, you heard him!

  LORD RINTOUL (TO GIVE gavin ANOTHER CHANCE). I am not sure that I did.

  GAVIN (STOUTLY). I am prepared to repeat every word of it if necessary — I alone did it.

  LORD RINTOUL. Well, we must accept that and it is certainly bad enough — but why tell us?

  HALLIWELL. You WERE PLAYING WITH US!

  GAVIN. As YOU WILL.

  HALLIWELL. There is a heavy punishment, sir.

  GAVIN. I am prepared to meet it.

  LORD RINTOUL. May I ask you why you admit this to us?

  GAVIN. That the innocent may be set at liberty. Do as you choose with me.

  LORD RINTOUL (QUIZZICALLY). This is rather awkward, Halliwell.

  HALLIWELL. I don’t see it in that light. It means simply the issue of another warrant — for him.

  LORD RINTOUL. Perhaps that means simply the issue of more divots — for me.

  HALLIWELL. I must say, Rintoul, I think I have done this pretty neatly.

  LORD RINTOUL. A Machiavelli! Mr. Dishart, I am sorry for you.

  HALLIWELL. More than I am. Gad, sir, before you came here to make such a confession, you might have thought of Mrs. Dishart.

  (gavin GULPS.)

  GAVIN. There is no Mrs. Dishart.

  HALLIWELL (WHEELING ROUND). What do you mean now? There is your wife.

  GAVIN (with a salt taste in his mouth). I have NO wife.

  LORD RINTOUL (bewildered). Nowife? Thenwhowas — ?

  (He suddenly smells a rat.)

  HALLIWELL (stepping forward, suddenly suspicious). It was not —

  GAVIN. Yes, it was the gipsy.

  (They are bereft of speech, rintoul and halliwell exchange glances.)

  HALLIWELL. So that explains how she slipped through our fingers!

  GAVIN. That explains it.

  HALLIWELL (calling for action). Rintoul!

  GAVIN. You have me. Let the gipsy go.

  LORD RINTOUL (to halliwell, slyly). Are you to let the gipsy go — (Laughs) — Halliwell?

  (He and halliwell look at each other and are merry over the situation. Their laughter increases.)

  You don’t join with us, Mr. Dishart, in our homely mirth?

  HALLIWELL. It can’t be expected of him till he knows the reason of it. As you justly say, sir, we have you, but the cream of the situation is that you have put yourself into our hands for nothing. You have surprised us, Mr. Dishart, but we have also a surprise for you. (Bowing ironically) Allow me to tell you that the gipsy is not here; she has not been arrested, and we know where she is no more than yourself. (Laughs and rejoins rintoul.)

  GAVIN. This is idle, sir. She is in that room.

  LORD RINTOUL. In that room?

  (Neither of them credits him.)

  GAVIN.! KNOW IT.

  (FELICE has come in with lighted candle and is about to go upstairs, listening eagerly.)

  LORD RINTOUL (puzzled). Felice!

  (She comes forward in concealed trepidation.)

  YOU TOLD ME HER LADYSHIP WAS IN HER ROOM?

  FELICE. YES, MY LORD.

  GAVIN. It was this girl who —— —

  (He stops, seeing FELICE sign to him imploringly, LORD RINTOUL sees it also; he looks sternly from one to the other, FELICE would get between him and the door, but by a gesture he stops her. He opens door.)

  LORD RINTOUL. Babbie,! WANT YOU.

  (BABBIE, after pause, comes out, now dressed as befits her rank — not a full evening dress, but in striking contrast to the gipsy, GAVIN gets a great shock. She controls her emotion, FELICE is relieved.)

  You know this gentleman? He insists that there was a gipsy girl in your room.

  BABBIE (self-controlled). I was quite alone, father.

  LORD RINTOUL. You heard what Lady Barbara said, Mr. Dishart?

  GAVIN (manfully). I heard. I made — a strange mistake.

  HALLIWELL. We should all like to know how, sir?

  (gavin looks at FELICE.)

  FELICE. I think I can explain, my lord. This gentleman, he was shown in here, and he ask me if a gipsy girl here. He seem very excited — I think good jest to say, ‘Yes.’ He say, ‘Where, where?’ I point to her ladyship’s room and run away laughing.

  GAVIN. Yes, it was she who told me.

  (lord rintoul signs sternly to her to go babbie and felice exchange glances as felice exits, gavin pulls himself together.)

  HALLIWELL. Not so fast, sir. Rintoul, I must ask you to make out the warrant for this man’s arrest.

  BABBIE. What?

  LORD RINTOUL. I wonder.

  BABBIE. What has he done?

  HALLIWELL (expecting approval of himself). Listen to this, Lady Barbara. It was he who prevented my seizing those weavers. It was he who blew the horn and roused the town. The woman he passed off as his wife was the gipsy, and he did it so that she might escape us. He has confessed it all!

  BABBIE (to GAVIN). Why?

  HALLIWELL. I drew it out of him. I pretended that we had caught the gipsy, and he offered himself in her place. It was all done to save her.

  BABBIE. I see.

  LORD RINTOUL. In a way it was a chivalrous thing to do, Halliwell.

  HALLIWELL. Our duty is quite clear. (Folds arms, looks at gavin.) The warrant!

  LORD RINTOUL. If you insist. (He sits at table, but reluctantly.)

  BABBIE. NO!

  GAVIN. Don’t be so sorry for me — Lady Barbara. This seems a very little matter to me — now.

  HALLIWELL. Rintoul! (Indicating that he wants the warrant.)

  BABBIE. No, father, you shall not.

  LORD RINTOUL (growing stern). Why not?

  BABBIE. Because this is the man I love. —

  (This has its startling effect on all three.)

  And he loves me, and I will not give him up. At first it appalled me, it appals me still. I may be mad, I know I am mad, but Mr. Dishart is the one man on earth to me, father, and I will never marry any other.