Complete Works of J. M. Barrie

by Unknown

  CECIL. I won’t have it, father. Everything I have said to you is in the strictest confidence.

  LORD CARLTON. Leave the rest to me, leave the rest to me.

  (Enter DEIGHTON.)

  Deighton, if Miss Gray is in the house, say I wish to speak to her.

  (Exit DEIGHTON.)

  CECIL. Father! (Pleading) Deighton! (Returns to LORD CARLTON.) I warn you, father. Nothing of this to her — I shall deny everything.

  LORD CARLTON (fiercely). Go away!

  (Enter ELEANOR, rather shrinkingly.)

  LORD CARLTON. How do you do, Eleanor?

  ELEANOR. I hope you had a good journey.

  (CECIL puts his cigarette down on ash-tray on desk.)

  LORD CARLTON. Thanks — yes — I — (His natural kindness makes it difficult for him to proceed.) Eleanor — I —

  CECIL (manfully). Father! Eleanor, dearest, I am overjoyed to be able to tell you that father has at last consented to our marriage. (He looks proudly at his father, who scowls at him.)

  ELEANOR (sits on sofa). It is SO SWEET of you both. (Suddenly she bursts into tears.)

  (LORD CARLTON and CECIL look at each other, CECIL points to ELEANOR and motions LORD CARLTON to go to her. LORD CARLTON shakes his head and in turn motions CECIL to go to her.)

  CECIL (kneels to ELEANOR). What is it, dearest?

  ELEANOR. Cecil, I — I have wanted to say it for days, and now that Lord Carlton is so kind I must. Oh, Cecil, I want you to let me off.

  (Sensation, LORD CARLTON crosses between CECIL and ELEANOR, prevents CECIL speaking.)

  LORD CARLTON. What did you say, Eleanor?

  ELEANOR (rising — ashamed). I want him to let me off.

  LORD CARLTON (again preventing CECIL from speaking). Any reason, Eleanor?

  ELEANOR. I don’t love him — I thought I did, but I don’t.

  LORD CARLTON. I see.

  ELEANOR. There can be no true love that is not founded on respect, and — (Goes to him) — Oh, Cecil, I don’t respect you.

  (Though CECIL has been positively delighted by the unexpected turn affairs have taken, this rather staggers him.)

  CECIL. Don’t you, Eleanor?

  LORD CARLTON (enjoying it — goes to her). Speak out, my dear — don’t be frightened.

  ELEANOR. I have been asking myself of late what there is in you to win a woman’s love, and I can find no answer.

  CECIL. No!

  ELEANOR. Your title — your wealth — they are mere accidents of your birth. I said to myself, he deserves no credit for them. The amount of sense that has come to me quite suddenly positively bewilders me, Cecil.

  LORD CARLTON (going right up to her and turning to her so that the faces him). What else did you say to yourself, Eleanor?

  ELEANOR. I said — he will simply be his father over again.

  LORD CARLTON. What? (Pulled up) Eh?

  ELEANOR. And then your family history is so fishy.

  LORD CARLTON. What’s that? What’s that?

  ELEANOR. I have been reading it — such bad, worthless people. Of course I don’t blame you for your ancestors — but I am so proud of my parentage — (Turns to him) Oh, Cecil, let me off!

  (LORD CARLTON is furious.)

  CECIL. Of course, Eleanor, if it is your wish there is no more to be said.

  ELEANOR. I’m so awfully sorry. I was blind to all this before, but now I seem to see it with extraordinary clearness. I had hoped you might have guessed, Cecil — you must have seen me crying?

  CECIL (blankly). Was that what your tears meant?

  ELEANOR. Yes.

  (A look between CECIL and LORD CARLTON. LORD CARLTON is entertained by this. Goes round sofa to table.

  ELEANOR gives CECIL back his ring.)

  Dear Cecil — you have borne it bravely.

  (CECIL looks away.)

  LORD CARLTON. Don’t you think we should bring this painful interview to a close?

  ELEANOR. Cecil, for the last time.

  (She holds up her face and he kisses her reverently on the forehead — crosses to LORD CARLTON.)

  If you would forgive me also.

  LORD CARLTON. My dear Eleanor, if it is your wish, of course we must submit.

  (Exit ELEANOR overcome with sorrow for them, LORD CARLTON and CECIL survey each other quizzically, then chuckle.)

  LORD CARLTON. We’ve done it, Cecil.

  CECIL. We’ve done it. And we thought it would be so difficult.

  LORD CARLTON (taking the credit for it). It was perfectly easy CECIL. She gave us some nasty ones though.

  LORD CARLTON (a little staggered). Yes! (Gaily) But they were cheap at the price. (Taking CECIL’S arm elatedly) Cecil, my boy, there never was such a family as ours for falling on its feet.

  (They walk up and down, arm in arm, excitedly.)

  CECIL. We HAVE A genius FOR IT.

  LORD CARLTON. The scrapes we all get into — the way we get out of them.

  (They stop walking and LORD CARLTON pulls CECIL round.)

  Think of your great-grandfather, Cecil, just think of him — and yet he died in his bed after all.

  CECIL. Dad, the more I think of it, the more convinced I am that I must have been born for some great end.

  LORD CARLTON. There’s a sweet little Cherub who sits up aloft to look after the life of poor Cecil.

  CECIL. And if I knew his name I would — (Is arrested by seeing LORD CARLTON in sudden excitement.) What is it?

  LORD CARLTON (like one who has solved a mystery). Moira Loney!

  CECIL. Where?

  LORD CARLTON. Everywhere.

  CECIL. I don’t see —

  LORD CARLTON. Mark my words — Moira Loney. (Goes up to inner room.)

  CECIL (follows LORD CARLTON, first startled as he understands LORD CARLTON’S meaning). You don’t mean — (Puts idea aside as ridiculous.) Poof!

  (LORD CARLTON draws him into inner room, points TO door where doctors are coming in. Exit CECIL. Enter DEIGHTON, showing in SIR JENNINGS and DR. TOPPING, LORD CARLTON watches them unseen.)

  DEIGHTON. Her ladyship’s instructions, sir, are that I should show you at once to Lady Millicent’s room.

  SIR JENNINGS. Quite so — yes, yes. Ah! Then I think, Dr. Topping, we had better not wait.

  (They are about to ascend the stairs when MOIRA appears coming down. The sight of them is a shock to her — she stops on the stair, timid, and bows, but they still stand and ignore her.)

  MOIRA. I didn’t know you were coming — they never told me.

  SIR JENNINGS (they still ignore her). I think, Dr. Topping —

  (DR. TOPPING passes SIR JENNINGS who follows him upstairs. She stands aside to let them pass, they wait, she comes down, then without looking at her they go up; she is hurt and addresses them appealingly from below.)

  MOIRA. Sir Jennings!

  (Still taking no notice they exit with DEIGHTON. She stands, weeps at desk, LORD CARLTON, who has looked sternly at the doctors, comes down and regards her quizzically.)

  LORD CARLTON. Miss Loney.

  MOIRA (rising, glad to see him but frightened). You have come back! You — don’t seem to be angry with me.

  LORD CARLTON. No.

  MOIRA. YOU will be soon.

  LORD CARLTON. I dare say. But for the moment, won’t you shake hands?

  MOIRA. Sir Jennings is here.

  LORD CARLTON. I saw him, and I saw the way he treated you. On my soul, Moira, I am sorry he should have this triumph over you, for I do believe you have made some changes in this house. Moira, don’t you think you would be happier if you were to tell me how you do it?

  MOIRA. Oh, I can’t. I daren’t. Grandpa warned me.

  (Sits on sofa, weeping.)

  LORD carlton (to moira). Don’t cry, little girl. Moira, why are you crying?

  MOIRA. Because I am so lonely. Nobody loves me, and I do so want to be loved.

  LORD CARLTON. Do you? Whom do you want to love you?

  MOIRA. Everybody. I can’t do without ever
ybody loving me.

  LORD CARLTON. YOU want to mother the lot of us, isn’t that it? You are the oddest little soul and the dearest. (Looking up to top of staircase) But here comes our Waterloo.

  (SIR JENNINGS and DR. TOPPING appear at top of staircase. They come downstairs with LADY GEORGY followed by LORD PLUMLEIGH.)

  Ah! Ah! We meet again, Sir Jennings. (Shakes hands with SIR JENNINGS.)

  (The Doctor bows to the others; LORD PLUMLEIGH comes downstairs softly, listening.)

  And how is the invalid?

  SIR JENNINGS. I have no wish to alarm the family —

  MOIRA. Oh dear — (Goes towards door.)

  SIR JENNINGS. If the lady who has been attending Lady Millicent is present, may I ask that she remain?

  LADY GEORGY. Miss Loney.

  LORD CARLTON (sorry for MOIRA, whose distress he misunderstands). Is it necessary, Sir Jennings? This lady admits she has failed. Why rub it in?

  (LADY GEORGY sits by desk.)

  SIR JENNINGS (sitting). I merely wish to do my duty.

  (CECIL enters and remains in inner room, ELEANOR enters.)

  DR. TOPPING. We HAVE no desire to rub it in. (Rubs it in with his hands.)

  MOIRA. Very well, I shall remain. But on one point Lord Carlton is in error — I do not admit that I have failed.

  LORD CARLTON (disappointed in her). Miss Loney!

  SIR JENNINGS. Dear lady, we are grieved to find your sweet daughter decidedly worse.

  (ELEANOR sits on oak chest by fireplace.)

  MOIRA (goes to him). Oh no, indeed.

  (Her manner throughout is that of a dear girl pained to see SIR JENNINGS humiliated and wanting to save him.)

  SIR JENNINGS (gives her a look and turns to DR. TOPPING). Her pulse, Topping?

  DR. TOPPING. We don’t like it.

  SIR JENNINGS. Her colour?

  DR. TOPPING. Hectic.

  MOIRA. Oh, why didn’t you make a more careful examination?

  SIR JENNINGS (indignant at her audacity in daring to address him). Madam! Lady Plumleigh, all my advice has been set at naught — the nourishing food every two hours —

  MOIRA. I disbelieved in it.

  SIR JENNINGS. The rest and sleep throughout the day.

  MOIRA. I discontinued it.

  DR. TOPPING (solemnly). Out of her own mouth.

  MOIRA. Oh dear! Sir Jennings, I am so sorry.

  SIR JENNINGS. It is too late for that. I must make this matter known.

  DR. TOPPING. Pro bono publico.

  LORD CARLTON (who has been watching MOIRA). I confess I am puzzled; but it seems to me, Sir Jennings, that this lady is sorry, not for herself, but for you.

  SIR JENNINGS (scandalised). For me!

  MOIRA. Yes, yes — yes indeed, Sir Jennings, and now you have said everything you want to say, haven’t you? Oh please go away before she has time to do anything that might hurt your feelings.

  SIR JENNINGS. This is unpardonable.

  MOIRA (with anxious look upstairs). She is such A very naughty girl. At any moment she — (To LORD CARLTON)

  Oh! please advise them to go.

  LORD CARLTON (crossing to SIR JENNINGS. He has been greatly puzzled). Sir Jennings, it seems crazy to me — I am amazed at myself but I can’t help it. I believe in this girl; I believe she is trying honestly to save you from some bitter mortification, and against all rhyme and reason my advice to you is — to hook it.

  SIR JENNINGS. And I decline.

  MOIRA. Oh dear!

  (From upstairs a voice is heard singing gaily; it draws nearer.)

  LORD PLUMLEIGH (rises — on stairs). That’s Milly’s voice.

  (All rise as LADY MILLICENT appears at top of stairs, where she has walked alone, ELEANOR stands with back to fireplace.)

  LADY MILLICENT (at top of stairs — kissing hand). Good morning, everybody. Mother, I’m well again, I’m well, I’m well. (She comes downstairs in little jumps crying ‘I’m well’ at each jump, and finally falls into her mother’s arms.)

  LADY GEORGY. But how?

  LADY MILLICENT. Mother, she hadn’t been here many days when I felt new life coming back to me. At first I feared to raise your hopes, but when each day I got stronger a desire seized me not to tell you the great news till I was wholly well.

  (lady millicent turns to the doctors.)

  And I made her keep the news also. You have always seen me in the chair, but secretly I was walking again — practising — look, uncle. (DANCES AND HUMS TUNE.) And yesterday there came into my head — (SPEAKING QUICKLY) — a curiosity to see what the real doctors would say about me if I didn’t tell them I was cured.

  LORD CARLTON. Did you speak, Sir Jennings?

  (SIR JENNINGS HAS KEPT WELL CONTROL OF HIMSELF.)

  MOIRA (DISTRESSED). Indeed, I knew nothing of this.

  LADY MILLICENT (CROSSING TO MOIRA). No, she didn’t!

  (BOTH SIT ON SETTEE.) She’s so soft-hearted she wouldn’t have permitted it. And I had drawn a solemn promise from her not to tell anyone I was better until I told mother.

  LORD CARLTON. She tried hard to warn you, Sir Jennings. Have you nothing to say to her?

  SIR JENNINGS. If Miss Loney will be so good as to explain her treatment I shall be pleased to listen.

  MOIRA (ALARMED AND RISING). I can’t do that — not yet.

  SIR JENNINGS. QUITE SO, QUITE SO. (PULLS HIMSELF TOGETHER, GOES TO LADY GEORGY.) Dear lady, yes. It is a great pleasure to me to say that I find your daughter much improved — most gratifying — yes, gratifying. It makes my eyes young again, Lady Millicent, to see you able to jump so vigorously — jump, yes. I think, Topping —

  DR. TOPPING (WHO HAS BEEN STARING AT MOIRA). Certainly, Sir Jennings.

  MOIRA (TO SIR JENNINGS). Ah, Sir Jennings, don’t be angry with me. I couldn’t help curing her — indeed I couldn’t. It was so easy. You are much, much cleverer than I am.

  LORD CARLTON. SHE IS TRYING TO MOTHER SIR JENNINGS.

  (Goes and talks to cecil, who is by plate rack.)

  SIR JENNINGS (bowing to him and preserving his dignity). Topping, if you are quite ready — (GOES IN INNER ROOM.)

  DR TOPPING. QUITE — AH — AH —

  (He is wondering whether reference is to cheque. He whispers to lady georgy who is sitting down at desk. She has cheque in envelope and hands it to dr topping, who then calls sir jennings and puts it in nis hand.)

  SIR JENNINGS (surprised to find cheque). WHAT, WHAT? AH, ah! (TWIDDLES IT.) Well, do you know I hardly like —

  (DOESN’T QUITE LIKE TO TAKE IT AFTER BUSINESS, PUTS CHEQUE IN POCKET.)

  Oh, but still — accept my heartiest congratulations again, dear lady. (SHAKING HANDS.) If you are quite ready, Topping.

  GOODBYE. Goody-bye, goodbye, everybody. Ah, Carlton —

  (Catches lord Carlton’s eye, realises the situation, pulls himself up short and exits after dr topping, carrying the situation. The others turn and stare at moira, who is quite unassuming — except lord carlton, who stands apart watching her.)

  LADY MILLICENT.)I OH, MY SWEETEST!

  LADY GEORGY. )DEAR, DARLING GIRL!

  ELEANOR. — )YOU CLEVER LITTLE THING.

  CECIL. Miss Loney, was it you — that — me, you know?

  (MOIRA NODS; ALL ARE IMPRESSED.)

  ELEANOR. Miss Loney, I — I think I am different — was it you?

  (moira nods.)

  LORD PLUMLEIGH. How ABOUT ME?

  (lady georgy puts her hand on lord plumleigh’s shoulder.)

  MOIRA. You ALSO.

  CECIL.! SAY, IS LITTLE MARY IN IT?

  MOIRA. OH YES.

  LADY MILLICENT. WONDERFUL.

  CECIL. Miss Loney, is there anything you can’t do?

  MOIRA (WOEFULLY). I can do — almost anything. I suppose I am the most remarkable woman alive. (SMILING) But — I don’t want to be. (PASSIONATELY) I should so love to be an ordinary woman.