Emma's Story

by Mitchel Grace

  “Okay.”

  “Well, don’t look so sad. I’ll call you when I get settled in. I love you,” he said and hugged her. Then Jasper walked away.

  After the plane had taken off, he leaned his head back and sighed. He had so many conflicting emotions. He was looking forward to seeing his family again, but at the same time, he would have been thrilled to spend Christmas with the woman he loved. He quickly forced himself to stop thinking about the negativity in his situation. Things weren’t bad. Jasper was going to see his family again, and he had arranged something special for Emma with the help of her brother. She would still know how much he loved her on Christmas morning. Besides, nothing will change in a week, Jasper thought. How little did he know? There were going to be a lot of temptations back at home, and it would be a lot harder than he thought. For then, he was able to relax and just enjoy the flight, however.

  * * * * *

  When Jasper’s plane landed, he found his family waiting on him at the gate. His mom and dad immediately hugged him, and then they started walking to their car.

  “We were afraid you might not come home,” his dad, Jason, said.

  “I almost didn’t. I want to be here, but it felt wrong to leave Emma,” Jasper said.

  “We should talk about that a little later, but for now, I think your brother has something planned for you two tonight.”

  “No way. I’m too tired after the long plane ride.”

  “Come on. It’s your first day back in town. I wanted to welcome you back properly,” Paul said.

  “Fine, but whatever it is needs to be quick. It’s freezing out here, and I’m exhausted.”

  “Freezing? He’s in Hawaii for a few months, and all the sudden he can’t handle cold weather,” Paul joked.

  They drove home, and before Jasper could even go inside and enjoy seeing his old house again, Paul was ready to go. They got into his car and headed off.

  “So what was so important that I couldn’t even go inside for a minute?” Jasper asked.

  “I’m not supposed to say anything, but I kind of did something impulsive. Do you remember how you weren’t invited to many parties growing up?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t really feel like . . .”

  “Well, you need to get in the mood then because a bunch of us from high school decided to throw you a little coming home party.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense. I didn’t have many friends. Who’s even going to be there?”

  “All right, here’s the truth. Not many of us get together anymore, so we take any excuse we can get to do something like this. For what it’s worth, there are going to be a few people there who truly missed you, and this party is officially in your honor, so you have to go.”

  “Great. I’m going to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know, and the only one who’s really glad I’m home is you.”

  “Me? I didn’t miss you at all, loser,” Paul teased.

  “Then who did?”

  “You’ll find out. You were more popular than you knew. You were just always thinking about Emma,” Paul said and rolled his eyes.

  “Don’t look that way. She’s probably going to be the woman I marry. Why shouldn’t I be focused on her?”

  “Because of exactly what you just said. How can you be thinking about marriage now? You’re eighteen, Jasper. You’ve got at least a decade to have fun before you even think about something like that. That’s why I roll my eyes when I talk about Emma. She’s great, and we were all friends when we were kids, but let’s be honest here. She has robbed you of a lot of fun over the years, and as your brother, I don’t want to see that trend continue.”

  “What are you talking about? She hasn’t robbed me of anything.”

  “Okay. I didn’t want to do this, but I can see I have to point out the obvious. You barely dated in high school, and you spent most of your teen years really moody because you couldn’t be with a girl you barely knew. For God’s sake, you’re a virgin. Now’s the time to have fun and date around, not settle down and plan a life with someone.”

  Jasper didn’t say anything, but Paul noticed that he looked kind of odd when he said he was a virgin. As a matter of fact, he had seen that look on Jasper’s face before. He always looked that way when he was trying to hide something.

  “All right, spill it,” Paul said.

  “What? I was just listening to you, not that you’re right about anything you just said.”

  “I think I’m right about everything except for you being a virgin. I’ll need details.”

  “No, I’m a gentleman,” Jasper said and grinned.

  “Oh, come on. Are you actually telling me that you slept with Emma?”

  “I’m not telling you anything at all.”

  “I don’t know whether to congratulate you or be worried.”

  “What? When have you ever been worried when it comes to sex?” Jasper asked in disbelief.

  “So you did end up in bed with her! This is serious business. First, I’m going to give you a warning, and then I want details. Your first holds a weird power over you, or at least they do for a while. A part of you will think that’s the person you’re supposed to be with for a long time, but that’s just normal. That feeling is usually wrong, too. It can make you do strange things like leave home, assume the girl is going to be your wife one day, or worst of all, almost make you stay in Hawaii for Christmas. What I’m trying to say is don’t let the fact that you’ve had sex with this girl influence how you feel. It’s just sex, no matter how you look at it.”

  “You give horrible advice. Do you know that?”

  “I’m telling the truth here. One of two things can happen when you get too into your first. You can be sure it’s going to end well, and be devastated when it doesn’t, or even worse, you can end up with them, only to later realize you never lived your own life because you were so wrapped up in them. That leads to a life of resentment, my friend.”

  “How would you know? We’re the same age. Actually, I’m four minutes older than you, so I should be giving you advice.”

  “I’m just warning you, bro. I mean, I like Emma, and I truly hope you two end up happy together, but don’t forget the people here. We miss you.”

  Jasper got it now. He had told his parents he might not come home for Christmas a couple of weeks earlier. His family probably felt like they were losing him to a girl. In some ways, they weren’t wrong. Even if Paul would never admit it, he hated the thought of his twin brother being so far away for the rest of their lives. He wished that Jasper could have fallen for someone closer to home. Most of all, Paul still wanted his brother to be happy, though. If Emma were who he was truly happiest with, then Paul would find a way to get over it.

  “I can’t ever forget you guys. This is the only family I’ve got. I just really want things to work with Emma. Do you know what I mean?”

  “Yeah. I hope they do. Now, before we get to the party, I want all the details. How did you end up in bed with her, and . . .”

  Paul went on and on with questions. Jasper refused to answer most of them, however. Some things are meant to stay private, but he had missed his brother prying. He had hated high school. As a matter of fact, he hated everything to do with where he lived. He felt like a loser there. Now that he was back, though, New Jersey didn’t seem so bad, and he was left with the question what if? Could he have made a life there and been happy without Emma? That week, he would find answers, and as difficult as it was, he was going to have to commit himself to either Emma or the place he grew up. That week was the single most important one of Jasper’s life.

  Chapter 14

  Doubts

  When they got to the party, Jasper found exactly what he expected. There were a lot of people there, but he barely knew anyone. This wasn’t a welcome home party. It was just an excuse for a bunch of people who missed high school to get back together. Still, the atmosphere wasn’t that bad. He found a good spot in the corner and planted himself firmly against
the wall. That was his usual routine in New Jersey. He was invisible, but in this situation, that wasn’t so bad. He could take everything in from afar and just relax after a long plane ride. Little did he know that at least one person was there for him.

  “Jasper, it’s been a while. What are you doing in the corner? Isn’t this whole thing for you?” a girl asked.

  She was named Lily, and she was Jasper’s best friend there. She was one of the few bright spots during his teen years.

  “You know this is just about them having an excuse to drink together again. No one really cares if I’m here. I’m not complaining, though. I don’t really want the attention.”

  “You haven’t changed one bit. You’re wrong, too. I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m here for you. How has Hawaii been?”

  “It’s even better than I thought. I’ve had a blast. How have things been here?”

  “Oh, you know. It’s the same as always. I take it by how much you like it in Hawaii that this isn’t a permanent homecoming then?”

  “No. It’s just for Christmas.”

  “That’s a shame. This place isn’t the same without you. I’ve missed having my friend around.”

  “I didn’t expect to hear that. I mean, we’re good friends, but you always struck me as the type of girl who didn’t need anybody.”

  “I’m not as strong as you think, Jasper. Everyone needs a best friend. Plus, if I’m being honest . . . never mind. That’s just stupid.”

  “What is it? You can tell me.”

  “Okay, but not here. Can you step outside with me?”

  Jasper shook his head, and she led him out the back door. It hadn’t clicked yet for him where this was going, but it should have. Lily had been very attached to him through their teen years. It was obvious to everyone but him that she liked him a lot.

  “What’s going on?” Jasper asked.

  “I really don’t know if I should talk to you about this. It could seriously make you think I’m a crazy person,” Lily said while biting her lip.

  “Come on. I already know you’re crazy, and I still want to be around you, so you’ve got nothing to worry about,” he teased.

  “Okay. Here’s the thing. I know we dated for a few weeks back in high school, and you were never really into it. I acted like it was a mistake for us to date, and I didn’t feel anything for you either, but that wasn’t the truth. You’ve been my friend since we were thirteen, and for a while, that’s all you were. When we went to high school, though, I started looking at you differently. I’ve had the biggest crush on you since I was fourteen, and I just never said anything because you were always so hung up on that Emma girl. I don’t think you should hold something like that in forever, so I’m telling you now. I’ve liked you since ninth grade, and I’ve loved you since I turned seventeen.”

  “What do you mean you’ve loved me since you were seventeen?”

  “Well, I always had a crush on you, but I didn’t really realize how much you meant to me until that day. I wasn’t really happy until you took me out that night, and then everything was perfect. It just felt like that was how it should be - just you and me. I realized that I’m never as happy as I am when you’re around. You make everything better. The last few months without you have taught me that. God, you must think I’m crazy. I don’t know why I told you all that,” she said and looked away.

  “It’s okay. If I had known you felt that way, things would’ve been a lot different. I mean, we did everything together. We even went to prom together. You were the perfect person for me, but I didn’t think you looked at me like that, and you’re right. I was always hung up on Emma. I would have given us a real shot if I had known, though.”

  “It’s not too late. We have a shot now,” she said and moved closer to him.

  “Lily, you’re my friend, and I don’t think there’s a girl more deserving of finding someone great.”

  “I sense a but coming. Why? You just said you would’ve given us a shot.”

  “I went to Hawaii to be with Emma. She’s my girlfriend now, and you know me. I don’t cheat, even if it’s with the best friend I could ever have. If I weren’t attached, I would give us a shot and really reconsider my future. I would probably even stick around for you, but that’s not the case. I hope you understand. This isn’t because of you. I would be lucky to be with someone as incredible as you, but I’m with someone else now.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “You know the answer to that. I’ve loved her for years.”

  “Could you love me?”

  “You know the answer to that, too. I’ve loved you as a friend for years, and I think you’re one of the most incredible girls I’ve ever met. Of course, I could love you if things were different. They’re not, though. I’m sorry.”

  “Okay. I don’t want to make this any more uncomfortable than it already is, so this is the last thing I’m going to say about this. I’m here with you in your hometown. I’m always going to be here. You can give up your entire life for a girl across the ocean, or you can give up her for me. It’s your call, but I can promise you this. You’ll never find a girl who can give you everything you want besides me. I’m your friend, I love everything about you, we both know we have everything in common, and maybe best of all, I’m right here with all the other people you love. They love me, too. I fit perfectly with you and your family, and you fit in mine. Do you know how much my parents always liked you? It’s the perfect situation, and all you have to do is let go of something that you’re clearly doing all the work in.”

  “I don’t think I’m doing all the . . .”

  “Jasper, you moved 5,000 miles away to be with her, leaving everyone you love in the process. Trust me. You’re the only one sacrificing anything in that relationship. I won’t make you sacrifice anything. I want you exactly as you are and where you are. That’s all I’m going to say, though. You should think about what you want this week. I know you’ll make the right decision. Until you decide, though, let’s pretend this conversation never happened. No matter what you decide, I don’t want this to affect our friendship.”

  “All right. I’ll think about it, and we’ll pretend that this conversation never happened while I do.”

  “Good. Now, since we’re just two friends who never had this conversation, what do you say we do what we would’ve done at a lame party in high school?”

  “So you’re going to get me out of here? Good luck with that. Paul was really insistent that I come to this thing.”

  “He’s not even going to notice us leaving. He’s too busy talking to everyone. Come on. Let’s get out of here and find something worth doing.”

  “That sounds perfect. Lead the way,” Jasper said, and they walked around the house to her car.

  They went back to Lily’s house. He immediately reconnected with her parents. She was right. They did love Jasper. It wasn’t like he was talking to a girl’s parents when he was around them. They were like a second mom and dad. It was almost too perfect. Once Jasper was done talking with them, he and Lily went to the living room and watched a movie. It was truly innocent like it had always been, but Jasper couldn’t help but look at the situation differently after everything she had told him. As it got later, she laid her head on his shoulder and slowly drifted off. He thought back to all the times this same night had played out. It was so clear to him now. Jasper had been blind to what they were doing all those years. While he considered them going out, attending school dances, and even at times falling asleep together to be just two friends, it was obvious what it was to Lily. He was everything she had always wanted, and without even realizing it, he had been dating this girl for a long time. He wondered what life would have been like if he had realized how she thought of him earlier. Would he have been hung up on Emma? Would he have gone to Hawaii? Could he have been as happy with Lily? Life would certainly be easier if that were the case. Jasper could be close to his family and have a girl who loved him.

  Sudden
ly, he realized how he was thinking. Was he really considering coming home? He had worked his whole life to be with Emma. Was anyone or anything worth throwing that away? He didn’t think so, but he had to admit that this situation was tempting. Jasper didn’t think he should be there any longer. The more he looked at Lily sleeping on his shoulder, the more he was considering coming home. He started to stand. As he did, Lily woke up.

  “Where are you going?” she asked sleepily.

  “I’m going to call my brother and have him pick me up. You should get some sleep. It’s been great seeing you. I had a good time tonight.”

  “You can stay, if you want.”

  “That’s all right. I need to see my parents. We’ll talk again this week. I promise.”

  “Okay. Go ahead and call Paul, but you don’t have to step outside to do it. Stay here. Besides, you make a really good pillow,” Lily joked and laid her head back on him.

  Jasper dialed Paul’s number, and as soon as he answered, Paul asked him where he was.

  “I’m at Lily’s house. We decided to make it like old times, and she got me out of there. I don’t have a ride, though. Can you come get me?”

  “I’m kind of busy here. Why can’t you just stay at her house? You used to do it all the time.”

  “You know why. Come on. I’m ready to go home and sleep in my old bed and wake up with my family. What do you say?”

  “I’ll be there in a few,” he said, and Jasper hung up.

  “I overheard Paul’s question. Why can’t you stay here exactly?” Lily asked as he hung up.

  “I think you already know the answer to that.”

  “It’s because of what I said earlier, isn’t it? I thought we were pretending that conversation didn’t happen.”

  “We are, or at least I’m not talking about it. You told me to think about what I wanted, though, so I can’t help but think about it a little bit. I always have a good time with you, but I just think I should sleep at my place until I have things figured out.”

  “So you’re actually considering staying then?”

  “Of course I am. I don’t want to lead you on here because I really am in love with Emma, but a part of me misses nights like this. I miss my family even more. I’m not saying I won’t be leaving after Christmas, but I really am thinking about it.”