Put Out the Fires

by Maureen Lee

  “And a bit sore.”

  “You’ve no bones broken, but there’s quite a lot of bruising to your hips. The vet said you’ll be all right.” The woman spoke in a slow, stilted way, as if she wasn’t used to talking much. For the first time since Eileen met her, the expression on her raw-boned face was relatively friendly, almost kind.

  “The vet!”

  “He was on the next farm. Ted always prefers the vet to the doctor. He came over straight away when he got the message. Fortunately, he said the baby’s come to no harm.”

  Eileen’s body seemed to freeze all over. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

  “Your baby hasn’t come to any harm.”

  The baby!”

  Edna’s little slate grey eyes widened in shock. “Didn’t you know?”

  Eileen shook her head. “No,” she whispered. She’d had no periods since Christmas, but had thought it was the shock of losing Tony. When Calum Reilly had gone missing at the beginning of the war, Sheila hadn’t had periods for months, not until Cal was discovered safe and sound. She laid her hands on her stomach. She was carrying Nick’s baby, the result of their brief lovemaking on that wretched Christmas Day. “Make love to me,” she’d said, and it had been so sudden, taken him very much by surprise. He’d always made sure she wouldn’t fall pregnant before. “You don’t think I’d want to bring a baby into a world like this,” he said once when she suggested it in the days when she thought she’d never see Francis again and she and Nick would always be together. But now it seemed he had!

  “You’re going to keep it, aren’t you?”

  She’d almost forgotten Edna was there. “Of course!” She already felt different, actually joyful, at the knowledge there was a new life growing within her.

  Edna looked down at her hands and began to rub her stubby thumbs together. “Ted told me about your husband.

  I thought, with him being dead, you might want to get rid of the poor little thing.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Eileen said fervently.

  “That’s good.” Edna nodded approvingly. “I think killing babies is the worst crime in the world. I suppose you’ll be leaving the Land Army, won’t you?” she asked casually.

  “It would be irresponsible to do anything else. If I’d known what I know now, I would never have climbed that bloody ladder.”

  “It’s just that, if you’re stuck for somewhere to live, there’s plenty of room here. Not only that . . . ” Edna looked at the ceiling, then at the floor, then directly at Eileen, “ . . . if you wanted to go back in the Land Army afterwards, I could always look after the baby for you. If that’s what you want, of course,” she added awkwardly.

  Poor Edna! Poor, poor Edna. “That’s the kindest offer anyone could possibly make,” Eileen said as gently as she could, “but the truth is, luv, I’ve got me own house in Liverpool and all me family live close by.”

  All of a sudden, she couldn’t wait to get back home.

  “I see,’said Edna.

  Peggy came to see her at lunchtime. She was almost as bruised as Eileen, and the vet had taken a good look at her, too. “I felt ever so embarrassed. I kept wondering if he was looking at me as a cow or a woman. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t been so goodlooking. In fact, he asked me for a date.”

  “Then he definitely wasn’t looking at you as a cow! Did you accept?”

  “I thought I might as well,” Peggy said blithely. “You’re not half heavy, Eileen. It was like a ton of bricks falling on top of me.”

  “That’s ‘cos there’s two of us.’

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m expecting a baby!”

  Peggy’s face changed expression several times before she said, “Are you pleased?”

  “Of course I am.”

  “I thought, what with the circumstances . . . ” “I’m pleased,” Eileen assured her.

  “In that case, it’s wonderful news. Congratulations! Do you want a boy or a girl?”

  “A girl,” Eileen said instantly. She didn’t want a boy to replace Tony, not yet. “I shall call her Nicola.”

  “That’s a pretty name. What made you think of it?”

  “I don’t know. It just came to me.”

  Ted arrived in a bad temper to say he was taking them and their bikes back to the hostel in his truck. “The vet said it would be wise if you both had the rest of the day off,” he grumbled.

  “I won’t be coming back,” Eileen said shortly. “I expect the vet’ll have told you why.” She was glad she wouldn’t be seeing Ted again. After what Laura Kinnear had told her on Saturday, she doubted if she could bring herself to be civil to the man again.

  Ted stomped away, muttering something about having to train another bloody land girl, and Eileen sought out Edna to say goodbye.

  The woman was in the kitchen. She looked up when Eileen came in, her face blank. “I thought you’d like these.

  I made them all myself.” The kitchen table was full of babyclothes: little knitted cardigans and leggings and matching hoods, a beautiful crocheted shawl, several embroidered gowns, booties—an entire layette, all white, made with love and in anticipation of the family Edna had never had.

  “They’re lovely, Edna.” Eileen felt touched, but knew she’d never use a single item. She wasn’t prepared to dress her child in clothes made for dead babies. She’d give them to a hospital, where they’d be put to good use by women less fortunate than herself.

  Edna began to wrap the clothes in tissue paper and put them in a carrier bag. “I should have given them away a long time ago. They’ve just been lying in a drawer upstairs.”

  “Thanks very much.” Eileen took the bag. “I’ll write to you, shall I? Send you a picture of the baby when it’s born?”

  “If you like.” Edna turned away and began to run water in the sink. When Eileen said, “Goodbye,” she didn’t even answer.

  There was a telegram waiting for Eileen when she got back to the hostel, and her heart fluttered because the dreaded orange envelopes more often than not contained bad news.

  But not this time! Nick had finally managed to get a forty-eight-hour pass, and would be arriving on Friday night.

  He was the only passenger to get off the train, and Eileen felt her heart turn over in a way she’d never thought it would again at the sight of the tall rangy figure in the blue-grey uniform. She ran towards him and he opened his arms, caught her, and twirled her round till her feet left the ground.

  “We meet again,” he murmured, before kissing her, long and hard and urgent. He let her go and stood, his arms on her shoulders, looking into her eyes. “You look beautiful.”

  He shook his head, as if bemused. “In fact, you look dazzling.”

  Eileen linked his arm as they began to walk away. “What did you expect me to look like?”

  “I don’t know, a little older, maybe, rather sad.”

  She laughed. “Older! It’s only just over three months since we last met. And I was sad until I got the telegram.

  That’s why I look dazzling, because you’re here!”

  He caught her mood, as he always did. “Are you ready to be made love to?”

  “More ready than I’ve ever been before!”

  The bedroom in the hotel where Nick had booked was completely without adornment. There were no pictures, no ornaments, just plain beige wallpaper, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers and a double bed.

  Nick locked the door and caught Eileen from behind.

  “Take your clothes off!” he whispered.

  She pulled away, turned, and looked at him tauntingly.

  “Take them off for me!”

  “Aah!” He sank his head into her neck and began to undo the fasteners on the back of her lilac frock. His hands slid down her body and the frock fell to the floor. Eileen kicked it to one side as Nick pulled down the straps of her petticoat and bra. He cupped her breasts in his long, lean hands, and she gasped when his thumbs began to press against her n
ipples.

  “You’re dead slow. You’ve lost the knack,” she teased.

  Nick whooped. He picked her up and threw her on the bed, where he began to drag away the rest of her clothes.

  He paused, shocked. “Where did you get these bruises?” he asked sharply.

  “I fell off a ladder, but hang the bruises, Nick. They don’t hurt.”

  He kissed the bruises better even though they didn’t hurt, and stroked her thighs, stroked and touched and kissed her body all over. Then he got undressed himself and Eileen watched greedily, taking in his gleaming brown limbs, every lovely bit of him.

  He straddled her, and knelt there, poised and ready, and looking deep into her eyes. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you more than I can ever find the words to describe.

  You’re everything to me, darling. You know that, don’t you?”

  Eileen nodded breathlessly, but her body was at a fever pitch of anticipation. “You talk too much,” she said impatiently.

  She almost screamed with sheer uninhibited pleasure when he entered her, and clapped her hand over her mouth in case there were people in the next room who could hear.

  When the almost unbearable climax came, she screamed again, but by this time she didn’t care.

  Nick groaned and flopped down beside her. “You wear me out,” he complained as he nuzzled her ear.

  “In that case, we’d best not do it again,” she said lazily.

  “At least not for another half hour.”

  “I’d love a cup of tea.”

  He propped his head on his elbow and looked down at her. “Some things never change! Aren’t you going to have a post-coital cigarette?”

  She frowned. “You know I always smoked Capstan.”

  He burst out laughing, but to her annoyance, refused to explain the reason why.

  “Anyroad, I’ve stopped smoking,” she said huffily.

  “You never seem to have time on the farm, and when you do, they’re always wet.”

  “Are you annoyed with me already?”

  “Yes!”

  He cupped her chin in his hand and bent and kissed her.

  Eileen felt as if she would melt right through the bed.

  “Are you still annoyed?”

  “Even more.”

  “How long must I do this before you’re not?”

  “All night, all weekend, until you have to leave.”

  “The things a man does for a woman!”

  Then they were making love again, slowly this time, less urgently, but with a deep, wholehearted satisfaction that left them both exhausted. Nick actually began to doze after a few minutes, and she realised with a pang that he’d probably been worn out when he arrived.

  There’d been no time to talk about themselves, but she knew from his letters he flew across to the continent every day—she didn’t ask, because she didn’t want to know, what he did there - but there was little time for sleep between one mission and the next. She slipped out of bed and began to get dressed. If she didn’t have a cup of tea soon, she’d die of thirst. Whilst downstairs, she’d ask what time dinner was; they wouldn’t want to waste time looking for somewhere to eat, not when there were far more important things to do!

  Nick opened his eyes. “Where are you off to?”

  “In search of a pot of tea.”

  “I might have known,” he grumbled. “I think you prefer tea to me.”

  “It’s your fault I’m thirsty.”

  He patted the bed. “Come here a minute.”

  “No. I don’t want to take me dress off again, Nick. The hooks and eyes take ages to fasten.”

  “I want to talk, that’s all.”

  She sat out of reach on the edge of the bed. “What about?”

  “Remember that hotel we stayed at in London?”

  “As if I could forget!” She began to hum We’ll Meet Again, and they looked into each other’s eyes and laughed.

  “I can get leave at Easter. Would the Land Army let you off?” Before she could reply, he went on. “It could be our honeymoon, a real one this time. In other words, Mrs Costello, for the umpteenth time, will you marry me?”

  They didn’t touch. “Yes, Nick,” she said softly. They could marry in a church now she was a widow, not a registry office as they’d planned before. The room seemed to dance before her eyes. It was possible, more than possible, even likely, that the future held out hope of happiness, after all.

  She’d been waiting for the right moment to tell him about the baby and this seemed to be it. “I won’t be in the Land Army by Easter,” she said. “In fact, I’ve already left. I’m going back to Bootle. Me bags are packed and I’m coming with you on the train as far as London.”

  “But I thought you loved the Land Army?” he said, astounded.

  “I do, but something more important’s come up.” She looked at him, suddenly shy. “I’m having a baby, Nick. I only found out the other day.”

  She expected him to look overjoyed. Instead, a look of terrible sadness came over his face as he gestured tiredly around the room, at her, at the bed. “So, that’s what this was all about?”

  Eileen felt an unpleasant niggle in her stomach. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

  “It was all about softening me up,” he said in the same hard voice he’d used when he’d accused her of letting him down by staying with Francis. “You knew I’d bring up the subject of marriage the minute we met. Okay, my dear, we’ll get married. I love you so much, I just don’t care about . . . ” He put his hands over his face. “Jesus Christ!” he said brokenly.

  “Don’t care about what?” Her heart had begun to thump unnaturally loud.

  Nick looked at her accusingly and said, “You swore you’d never sleep with Francis!”

  So that was it! Eileen began to search for her shoes which had been kicked so carelessly across the floor less than an hour ago in the heat of passion. She found the shoes and put them on and picked up her bag.

  “Goodbye, Nick,” she said in a voice like ice.

  His jaw fell. “Where are you going?”

  “It’s nowt to do with you where I go, not any more.”

  “But, Eileen . . . ” He was close to tears, but then she was herself.

  She paused at the half-open door, more angry than she’d ever been in her life, but what a shame the anger was directed at Nick, the man she loved. “I’ve never lied to you, Nick. Me and Francis slept in separate rooms when he came home.” Now it was her turn to gesture around the room. “This can’t mean much to you, either, not if it seems to have completely slipped your mind we made love on Christmas Day. It’s your baby, Nick. You’ll be a father come September. Let’s hope the baby grows up to trust people better than its dad.”

  She slammed the door and began to walk along the corridor. The door opened and when she turned, Nick stood there, stark naked. “Eileen!” he called desperately.

  “I’m sorry. Come back, please, so we can talk.”

  A woman was coming up the stairs. Eileen shook her head. “There’s no point. I’ve said everything I want to say.”

  He made a move towards her and she laughed. “You’d better not come another step, Nick, else you might get arrested and end up spending the night in jail.”

  Chapter 16

  “So,” Jack Doyle said, “you’re back!”

  “Seems like it.” It felt rather weird, thought Eileen, as she sat in the living room of her old house. The place seemed very small and cramped and dark, and she kept expecting the walls to close in on her. Through the window, the houses in the street behind seemed much nearer than they’d done before. She was worried she might never get used to it again, or Bootle, after the wide open spaces of Norfolk. Worst of all, there was no sign of Tony; no clothes, no toys, nothing to indicate her son had ever lived. She wasn’t sure if it mightn’t have been better if the things were still there.

  “Sheila said we weren’t to expect you till Sunday night. I was surpris
ed to hear you were home.”

  “I decided to come yesterday, instead. I spent the night in London, and caught an early train. It wasn’t so crowded, and we weren’t delayed too much.” Last night, Friday, she’d rushed back to the hostel from the hotel, said a quick, tearful goodbye to the girls, and left hurriedly, in case Nick tried to catch up with her.

  “How d’you feel?” her dad asked.

  “Peculiar, and the house feels peculiar, too.”

  “You’ll soon feel at home,” he said warmly. “The Scullys only left last week.”

  “I know. I got Sheila’s letter the day I left. You were lucky, Dad. I was intending to plonk meself on you if they’d still been here.”

  “I wouldn’t have minded. It seems very quiet without our Sean.”

  Eileen glanced around the room. “It all looks very clean.

  Nothing’s changed a bit.”

  “George Ransome brought over the bits and pieces he was storing, and Sheila put everything back in place. That Scully girl scrubbed the place from top to bottom the day they left.”

  Eileen looked at him, eyebrows raised. “That Scully girl?”

  Jack Doyle flushed. “Well, she’s nice enough, Alice.

  Looks as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but underneath she’s as hard as bloody nails.”

  “I suppose she’s had to be,” Eileen said reasonably. “She sounds like the salt of the earth, looking after five younger brothers and sisters and bringing in the bulk of the money at the same time. Not only that, she’s got her mam ill.

  According to Sheila, Mrs Scully’s not long for this world.

  I’m surprised at you, Dad. I would have thought Alice is the sort of person you’d admire.”

  He nodded. “I do. And I agree with every word you said. I hate to have to admit it, but I’m prejudiced. I just don’t want our Sean hooked with her, that’s all.”

  “It might do him good, a bit of responsibility.”

  “It might do him harm, an” all. He’s had no life. He’s not long eighteen, yet if he takes up with Alice permanent, it’ll be more than a bit of responsibility he’ll have to cope with.

  He’ll have a ready-made family, and if he can’t get another house, Miller’s Bridge is a terrible place to live.”