The Eternal Community

by J Meverington

  ‘The thought had crossed my mind. I’ll talk to Camilla about it. But don’t worry too much, Leonora says he’s harmless.’

  ‘I hope she’s right, I couldn’t go through anything like that again.’

  ***

  The next day, Leonora, Molly, and Ben said a tearful goodbye as Damion left the Community to search for his long lost daughter. Excitement stirred within him as it always did when he headed back to London, but more so this time. A pang of guilt shot through him as he thought he should be sad about leaving his family. As much as he loved the Community and his extended family there, he missed the buzz of London, his friends and his parents. The plane banked to the right and flew over the mountains, taking him towards new adventures.

  ***

  Matilda watched with a heavy heart as Damion left the Community with Josh and Terri. She liked having him around. He brought a fresh vibe to the Community and she enjoyed his quirky ways. He emitted a sense of authority without the rules, and she felt safe with him around.

  Once he’d growled at Ethan for raising his voice to her. Damion had towered over Ethan’s small frame, telling him to cut it out otherwise he’d have him to deal with. It wasn’t an idle threat either as Damion would easily win a fight against him. But now he’d gone, and she didn’t feel safe anymore.

  Matilda wondered how things had gone so wrong between herself and Ethan. Five years earlier, he had been her knight in shining armour after Josh disappeared unexpectedly. He pulled her out of her depression and they became friends, then lovers.

  Chapter 4

  Five Years Earlier

  Matilda found out she was expecting Ethan’s child. The mini-version of the two of them that grew inside of her filled her with delight.

  But then the morning sickness started, and she thought she might die. Leonora mixed up some herbs for her, and they helped a little. Unable to continue with her normal chores, Leonora asked her to help out in the creche.

  When she arrived for duty, Fenella, a middle-aged woman in charge, welcomed her.

  ‘How are you feeling today, Matty?’

  ‘Not too bad at the moment. The sickness comes and goes. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m heaving my stomach contents. It’s awful. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t pregnant.’

  ‘Please never say that. You must remember how lucky you are.’

  ‘Did you have any children yourself?’ Matilda asked.

  ‘No, I was unable to conceive, which is why I love working in the creche. The children are my world.’

  ‘That must have been terrible for you.’

  ‘I’ve accepted it now. Willy never wanted children, so perhaps it was for the best.’

  Matilda burst into tears at the thought of this lovely lady missing out on something so important to her.

  Fenella embraced her and pulled her close. ‘Oh Matty, please don’t be sad. These things happen for a reason. I want you to be happy with what you have. And whatever happens, you must allow your child to come first.’

  ***

  Two months later, Matilda and Ethan were cuddled up in bed and Ethan had his hand on her stomach feeling her baby bump.

  ‘I can’t believe my baby is in there.’

  ‘Our baby,’ she corrected him.

  ‘I put him there.’

  ‘How do you know it’s a boy?’

  ‘I just do. I’ve always wanted a miniature version of myself, so I’ve created one.’

  ‘What will you do if it’s a girl?’

  ‘I didn’t create a girl.’ He smiled at her.

  ‘You’re nuts, you know that?’

  ‘Yes and it takes a nut to know one.’

  They settled down again and he gently massaged her tummy, until something caused him to suddenly withdraw his hand.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked.

  ‘I think I felt the baby.’

  ‘It’s too small, silly, you won’t feel it at this stage.’

  He put his hand on her stomach again and waited. ‘Ooh,’ he said, and withdrew it again.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Every time I touch your stomach, a tingly feeling runs up my arm. It’s weird, but I think it’s the baby communicating with me.’

  ‘Really? I’m only three months pregnant. I think you’re imagining it.’

  He put his hand on her belly again. ‘Yep, tingles, so weird,’ he said, and she noticed tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m so happy for us, Matty. I love you so much and I can’t wait to meet our son.’

  He embraced her, and a deep love emanated from him. Tears sprang to her eyes as they lay there, cocooned in one another’s arms.

  ***

  Matilda’s morning sickness had now cleared up, so as well as helping out in the creche, she also volunteered to help out in the kitchen, preparing meals.

  She had just finished helping to dish up the evening meal, when Leonora pushed back from the table and ran into the forest. Matilda raced after her, worried something might be wrong.

  She found her bent over, vomiting in the bushes.

  ‘Leonora, are you all right? Is it something we served you?’

  ‘No Matty, the food’s fine.’

  Matilda had a sudden feeling of déjà vu. She noticed Leonora’s bulging waistline and gasped. ‘You’re pregnant?’

  Leonora placed her hand on her stomach.

  ‘Yes, but let’s keep it our secret for now.’

  ‘But how? Who?’

  Leonora looked sad. ‘Do you remember that tall handsome man who came to the Community three months ago?’

  ‘Damion?’

  ‘Yes, it’s his.’

  Chapter 5

  Three months later, Matilda and Leonora had matching baby bumps. They estimated they had conceived within three weeks of each other and believed they were around six months pregnant. The two of them became close, sharing details and looking forward to the births.

  Leonora had been a surrogate mother to six children, Terri being the first one of them, but this was the first time she’d carried her own flesh and blood.

  ‘Do you miss Damion?’ Matilda asked.

  ‘Like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve never been in love before and it hurts, not knowing if I’ll ever see him again.’

  ‘How does it feel, knowing you have half of Damion growing inside of you?’ Matilda asked, laughing.

  ‘It’s nice. It’s like he left me with a gift, and I’ll always have a part of him with me, even if I never see him again.’

  ‘Where do you think they’ve gone? It’s so weird how Terri and Josh disappeared, then they came back, then disappeared again. Where do they go?’

  ‘Matty, it’s best you don’t ask those questions. Just accept it for what it is.’

  Leonora’s answer annoyed Matilda. She obviously knew where they went, but wouldn’t tell her. Josh had always talked about there being more to life than just the Community. At the time she hadn’t understood what he meant, but it had got her thinking. Ethan never talked about such things; maybe she would bring it up with him.

  ***

  A week later, excitement hit the Community again as Camilla and Damion made a surprise visit. Leonora had just finished helping with the breakfast service when she saw Damion striding towards her, his face lit up in a smile. Butterflies kicked around in her stomach and she had to pinch herself to be sure she wasn’t dreaming. Is it really him?

  As he approached her, his eyes dropped towards her bulging waistline and his smile disappeared. Did he think it wasn’t his?

  She gently took his hand and placed it on her stomach.

  ‘Of course it’s yours, silly!’

  Then something unexpected happened. Damion drew her into a hug, clinging to her as his body was racked with sobs. She held him tight as his emotions poured forth in a torrent.

  ‘Are you okay?’ she asked, once he had calmed down.

  ‘Yes, sorry about that.
I lost a baby years ago, and it brought back some emotions I had been holding on to. I promise it was just a glitch, I’m not usually such a baby!’

  ‘Hey, there’s nothing wrong with showing emotion. In fact, it’s good for you. Anyway, what are you doing back here?’

  ‘I came to ask you to move to London with me.’

  ‘You know I’ll never go back there.’

  ‘But now you’re carrying my baby, surely it would be for the best.’

  Leonora laughed as his naivety.

  ‘Surely you’re not serious. This is the ideal place to bring up a child. Fresh air, great food, a loving community. You’ve seen what goes on in London. It’s an awful place.’

  ‘Aww, please think about it?’

  ‘No, I need to tell you now. I’ll never go back to London. If you want to be part of this child’s life, you’ll have to move here.’

  And so he did. He disappeared back to London to ‘sort some stuff out’ then moved back to the Community in plenty of time for the birth. Leonora had never been happier.

  Chapter 6

  Three months later, Matilda gave birth to a baby boy as predicted by Ethan. They named him Zac and he became their bundle of pride and joy.

  Ethan, fascinated by the mini-version of himself, loved playing with him. He turned out to be a great father, getting up in the middle of the night, changing nappies, and massaging Matilda’s tired shoulders.

  A month later, Leonora gave birth to a little girl they named Molly. Matilda struggled to contain her excitement that their two children had been born so close together and she hoped they would grow up to be best friends.

  A few weeks later, though, things started going wrong for Matilda. It began after Ethan came back from an overnight hunting trip. That evening, when baby Zac woke up screaming, Matilda was so exhausted that she didn’t wake up as she normally would have.

  Ethan shook her awake, almost violently. ‘Can you shut him up, his screaming is driving me mad.’

  Matilda woke in a blur, then staggered over to Zac’s cot. She picked him up and put him onto her breast, and he fed hungrily. She wondered how long he’d been crying for and how on earth she’d managed to sleep through it.

  The next day Ethan kept snapping at her for no reason. Had she done something wrong?

  His moods continued on for a week, so she decided to confront him about it.

  ‘Ethan, is everything okay? You’ve been angry with me lately and you’ve not been spending much time with Zac.’

  ‘I’m sick of it. The sleepless nights, his constant needing of attention. I can’t deal with it anymore, Matty.’

  ‘But he’s just a baby. He needs us. He can’t look after himself.’

  ‘Matty, I’m not stupid, just sick of it. If I knew what we were signing up for, I’d never have started a family.’

  Matilda burst into tears. ‘Why are you being so mean to me? You’re horrible,’ she screamed, and ran off, leaving him alone with their baby.

  Leonora, with a crying Zac in her arms, found her thirty minutes later at the beach.

  ‘Matty, what’s going on? I found Zac in your tent alone, screaming his little lungs out. Why did you leave him unattended? If you needed a break, you should have brought him to me.’ She handed a red-faced Zac to Matilda and he immediately calmed down as she took him in her arms.

  ‘I didn’t leave him alone, I left him with Ethan.’

  ‘Well, I found him alone, crying.’

  ‘He’s changed, Leonora.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Ethan. He’s grumpy because Zac is keeping him awake at night and constantly needing our attention.’

  ‘Oh Matty, please don’t take it personally. He’s a young man, barely seventeen years old. It’s a big change for him. Remember, he didn’t have the nine months bonding with Zac that you did.’

  Matilda thought about it and hoped Leonora was right. That evening, after the dinner service and Zac had been put to bed, Ethan apologised to her.

  ‘I’m sorry I snapped earlier, Matty. I’ve been thrown out of my comfort zone in more ways than one, and I apologise. Forgive me?’

  ‘Of course I do. Is everything okay between us?’

  ‘Course it is.’ he said, sweeping her into his arms.

  His apology only lasted until the next day.

  ‘Matty, let’s go to the waterfall, just the two of us.’

  ‘But what about Zac?’

  ‘We’ll leave him in the creche. Fenella can take care of him.’

  ‘We can’t leave him behind; what if he gets hungry?’

  ‘We won’t be long, and perhaps one of the other mothers could feed him.’

  ‘He’s not a calf, Ethan, only I can feed him.’

  ‘Fine, I’ll go on my own then.’

  ‘Why can’t we take him with us?’ she asked.

  ‘I wanted some alone time with you. I’m sick of you spending all your time with him.’

  ‘He’s a little baby and needs constant attention. You can’t be serious. It’s only for a few more months, then we can put him in the creche and have some time alone.’

  ‘Have it your way,’ he said, and stormed off.

  What on earth had happened to him? He’d gone from a beautiful, loving man, to being jealous of his own baby.

  For the next month they argued all the time until Keith, the chief Elder, stepped in to talk to them. He told them they were upsetting the other members of the Community and to, in his words, ‘Knock it off!’

  Fortunately, the stern words had the desired effect. Ethan apologised and settled down again, much to Matilda’s relief. Raising a baby was hard enough, let alone doing it on her own.

  Ethan relaxed into fatherhood, helping out as much as he could. Matilda was thankful to have her charming husband back again. Her heart melted as she watched Ethan playing with their son, making faces and causing him to laugh.

  As Zac grew, so did Ethan. He became fascinated by the changes in his son, and spent a lot of time playing, teaching and watching him learn. Matilda realised her life was perfect.

  Chapter 7

  Zac had just turned six months old and Matilda and Ethan played a game of peek-a-boo with him, laughing at his cute little giggles. Ethan picked him up and bounced him on his lap and sang a song he’d made up.

  Zac’s my boy, Zac’s my boy

  He’s like a little real life toy

  We dress him up, we dress him down,

  He makes us laugh then makes us frown,

  How can something cute smell so bad

  Do you do it just to annoy your dad?

  Matilda burst out laughing at how Ethan could make up songs on the fly. She watched the two of them with loving adoration, happiness bursting at the seams.

  Unfortunately her good fortune would be short lived. Ethan was going on another hunting trip and she didn’t know how long he’d be gone. The boys stayed away until they had a good kill.

  She would miss him, and knew she would struggle to look after Zac on her own. She envied Leonora and her relationship with Damion. He never raised his voice to her, and he hated the idea of hunting.

  The next morning, she took Zac over to play with Molly. The two children interacted well, and it gave her a break from having to entertain him constantly.

  ‘You’re so lucky having Damion around all the time. I hate it when Ethan goes on hunting trips,’ she said to Leonora.

  ‘I’m not as lucky as you think. Damion is leaving again tomorrow. Not sure when he’ll be back.’

  ‘Where’s he going?’

  ‘The place he came from originally. He has some things to sort out.’

  Matilda wondered what she meant, but decided to keep quiet, sick of being chastised for asking questions she knew she shouldn’t.

  She went to bed that evening missing the warmth of Ethan’s body. She always worried about him when he went hunting. The arrows they used were sharp, and she’d heard of a number of near misses when they mistook a person for a deer. L
uckily there had been no accidents so far, but it didn’t stop her worrying. Ever since Josh had gone missing, she’d become insecure and even the slightest thoughts unsettled her.

  She needn’t have been concerned, as the next morning the boys came back into camp carrying a large deer. The members cheered as the boys swaggered in, proud of their catch. She scanned the crowd for Ethan but couldn’t see him straight away. It took a moment or two before she spotted him at the back of the pack, the frown on his face speaking volumes. She guessed he hadn’t shot the deer, and he wasn’t happy about it.

  She picked up Zac and walked over towards him. He brushed the two of them aside, mumbling something about needing a wash, then heading for the beach.

  She followed him with Zac still in her arms and stood on the dunes and watched as he stripped off and swam out over the breaking waves. What had happened for him to be in such a bad mood? Surely he couldn’t be that mad about not shooting a deer.

  She sat and waited for him to return. Finally he came ashore, the anger still apparent on his face.

  ‘Can’t I have some peace without you following me everywhere?’ he said, before storming back towards camp.

  Matilda burst into tears, wondering what had happened to him on the camping trip. Poor baby Zac started crying, picking up on his mother’s grief. She had to pull herself together.

  ‘Sshhh, baby, I’m sorry. Everything’s fine,’ she said to her son, rocking him back and forth until he calmed down. She headed back to camp and put Zac into the creche, not wanting him to see her upset. As she came out, she bumped into her friend Scott.

  ‘Hi Scott, congratulations on the deer. I heard you fired the winning shot.’

  ‘Thanks Matty, yes, I got him right between the eyes. Hey, are you all right? Your eyes are puffy. Have you been crying?’

  ‘It’s nothing, just Ethan spoke rudely to me. He’s been grumpy since coming back from the hunt. Did anything odd happen that might have affected his mood?’