Knockout

by Tracey Ward

  “So can I.”

  “Not like Kellen.”

  “How do you know?”

  My dad’s face fell slightly. “Because no one keeps secrets like he does.”

  I was about to ask what that meant when there was a shout from the ring in the center of the gym.

  “Here we go,” dad said excitedly.

  We moved closer so we could see Kellen enter into the red corner. There was a tall man with a gleaming bald head standing beside him talking in his ear. I assumed it was his coach because when I looked at the guy getting ready to fight Kellen, he had a man talking away in his ear too.

  It felt like forever before anything really happened. A ref wandered around for a minute inside the ring before finally calling the guys up. He rambled on about sportsmanship and honor as the boys bounced back and forth on their toes. I knew from what he’d told me that Kellen was keeping his legs tensed and active, ready to drive him around the ring quick as lightening. I watched his leg muscles move under his skin as he bounced. I could almost see the energy coiling inside of them. Springs loading, waiting to be released.

  Ding!

  I snapped back to focus as the bell rang. The boys leapt into movement. The other guy wasted no time throwing a jab.

  “He’s testing him,” my dad told me. “He wants to see how fast Kellen is.”

  Kellen dodged the punch easily. He also seized the moment and threw an uppercut that landed right in the guy’s chin. His opponent stumbled back a step before regaining his footing and moving around the ring looking for an opening. Kellen didn’t give him one. Instead he lunged, finding his own opening and throwing a punch that gleaned off the guy’s headgear near his eye. Suddenly Kellen’s head whipped to the side. The other boxer hand thrown a punch I hadn’t even seen coming.

  I gasped loudly, worried about what the hit meant for Kellen in this bout.

  “He’s okay. It’s going to happen,” dad warned me. “Taking a hit doesn’t mean he’s lost the match.”

  “How do they decide who wins? They won’t go until one of them is knocked out, right?’

  Dad laughed. “No, that’s not how these fights are done. They only go three rounds and each one is timed. Each hit earns them points that are tallied on a score card at the end of the match. It’s just like any other sport. The guy with the most points at the end wins.”

  “Is Kellen winning?”

  I took an unconscious step toward the ring. I was looking up through the ropes into the lights watching their bodies dance past me with incredible speed. They were both so big and yet so light on their feet. They moved without thinking. Without debate or hesitation. It was all instinct at that point. All muscle memory learned to avoid attack and gain the advantage. I wasn’t looking at their faces or their fists. I was watching them blur past the glare of the lights in my eyes, two brightly colored figures bouncing around that small ring. Chasing, hiding, attacking, dodging. It was so fluid. Even the hits. I should have been appalled or scared as mom would be, as she’d want me to be, but I wasn’t. I watched Kellen take those hits and keep on moving, keep on fighting and I was in awe.

  He was so sure and calm, but all power and force as well. His skin moved smooth and tan over the rolling hills of the muscles in his arms, his shoulders, his chest, back and stomach. A sheen of sweat began to build. It highlighted the contours of his body that never stopped. It was always in motion, always darting and glancing.

  I had seen Kellen in swim trunks beside our pool. I had seen him covered in sweat in just shorts while helping my dad in the backyard. It was not news to me that he was beautiful. That he was a chiseled work of human art. But this, seeing him moving like a viper around the ring, his face focused and in that removed space where we all find peace from ourselves and our lives – that was breathtaking.

  “Jenna,” dad said. It didn’t sound like it was the first time.

  “Huh?” I blinked, surprised.

  “Let’s pull you back a bit. You’re going to get hit with flying spit or sweat standing that close to the ring.”

  He pulled me back beside him but it didn’t do anything to distance me from the inside of that ring. I was still entranced. Still completely and utterly mesmerized.

  Kellen darted away under the other boxer’s arm then snapped back in front of him quick as anything. He landed a blow square against the guy’s cheek.

  “Yes!” I cried, excitedly bouncing on my toes and clenching my hands into fists.

  “Oh, this is going to bite me in the ass.”

  I frowned up at my dad. “What will?”

  He grinned at me affectionately before wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Nothing. Let’s watch our boy.”

  And we did. And it was magnificent.

  Kellen won the match. I was on pins and needles the whole time waiting to find out but when they announced him the winner and he held up his gloved hands, I jumped up and down cheering for him. He looked down at me with his flushed face, his brown hair dark with sweat and plastered to his forehead. Then he smiled. He smiled and he pointed one gloved hand right at me and I felt so connected to him having seen him in his hiding place from the world that I wanted to cry. Instead I laughed.

  ***

  “What is that?” I asked Kellen as we were leaving the gym.

  He was fresh from a shower, dressed in cargo shorts and the same hoody I’d seen him in the first time I met him. He was also bouncing a little when he walked, still springing with each step like he did in the ring. I imagined it took a long time to come down from an adrenaline rush like that. Especially after you won.

  “What? This? It’s my Amateur boxing license. I’m seventeen so I’m not a Junior boxer anymore. We have to have one of these to compete.”

  He flipped over the card in his hand to show it to me. There was a passport photo of Kellen wearing a black T-shirt and the angriest face I had ever seen on him before. It made me laugh.

  “You look like a serial killer!”

  He grinned. “That was the idea. You want to look like a fighter.”

  “Boxer,” I scolded. “You’re a boxer not a fighter.”

  Kellen slipped the card into his wallet before draping his arm over my shoulders, much the way my dad had in the gym. He pulled me in close to him as we walked toward the car.

  “I’m glad I’ve got you to remind me,” he said quietly.

  We went to Denny’s because Laney and mom weren’t there to tell us no. They would have wanted to go somewhere with fresh veggies and sautéed something or other. We just wanted some afternoon breakfast. Not brunch. Kellen said he’d lose a Man Card if he ever ate brunch and in his neighborhood, he needed a full deck.

  “What are you going to get, Jen?” dad asked, scanning the menu.

  “Moon Over My Hammy,” I said decidedly.

  Kellen chuckled. “You get that every time.”

  “Yep. Don’t even have to look at the menu. I know what I like.”

  “Lucky girl,” he grumbled.

  “Can’t decide?”

  “Don’t pressure me. I’ll get there.”

  “Do you think it will be today?”

  He flipped me off behind his menu where my dad couldn’t see.

  “What are you getting, dad?”

  Dad slapped his menu on the table. “Egg white omelet, whole wheat toast.”

  Kellen and I both stared at him blankly.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yeah, why? I’m getting old. I have to watch my health.”

  “Great, yeah. Good.”

  He rose from his chair. “Order for me, will you, Jen? I’m going to go wash my hands.”

  As I watched him go, noticing that his khakis were ironed with a tight line along the front and back of the leg, I sighed, “My mom is ruining him.”

  “Are you going to order him that meal?”

  I snorted. “Yeah, right. This is Denny’s. He’s getting something with bacon or we’re going home right now.”

  He pr
oduced his knuckles. I quickly bumped them.

  “Decide what you’re going to get yet?”

  “Yep,” Kellen replied confidently. “Philly Cheesesteak Omelet, baby!”

  I shook my head. “You hate mushrooms.”

  “They’re diced up small. I won’t even notice them.”

  “Okay then.”

  Not long after we ordered I started to wonder where my dad disappeared to. It was a very thorough hand washing or he was otherwise engaged.

  My phone beeped from my pocket with a message. I panicked for a second, irrationally worried it was my dad messaging me from the toilet.

  It was Laney.

  Where r u?

  “Is that your latest victim?” Kellen teased.

  ‘Victims’ was what he called all the boyfriends I didn’t have. One of his less hilarious moments because he didn’t seem to realize I actually wanted a boyfriend. It wasn’t for lack of interest that I had never dated or even kissed a guy. At least not lack of interest on my part.

  “It’s Laney,” I mumbled, typing a response. She texted me again before I could finish.

  Mom says Kellen is going to ask me out on a date!

  “Ugh,” I groaned. This was going to be a long conversation, one I’d rather not do through text. My fingers would cramp and fall off before she finished going on about this.

  “What?”

  “She’s excited you’re going to ask her out.”

  “How does she know about that?”

  I know, Lane. I’m at lunch with him and dad.

  “Um, I guess my mom told her,” I said distractedly, sending my message to Laney. “Dad wouldn’t have.”

  “Huh.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  My phone beeped again. Kellen looked down at it blankly.

  “She’s excited?”

  “Yeah, of course she is. You’re being weird about this. What’s wrong with you?”

  I glanced down at my phone, waiting for his answer.

  DON’T TELL HIM I KNOW HE’S GOING TO ASK ME OUT!!!

  “Uh oh,” I mumbled.

  Kellen grinned. “Now what’s wrong with you?”

  “I wasn’t supposed to tell you she knew, I guess.” I dropped my phone on the table, already sick of the conversation with her. “So what’s your problem?”

  “Same as her. I didn’t want her to know.”

  “Why not?”

  He shrugged, glancing again at my phone on the table. It was silent. For now. “I wasn’t 100% planning on doing it.”

  “Uh oh,” I repeated.

  “Yeah.”

  “Why not? Why’d you ask permission if you weren’t going to do it?”

  Kellen looked over his shoulder to check for my dad. “I wanted to see if he’d let me.”

  “Kellen, of course he’d let you!”

  My phone beeped.

  God, he is so hot! Does he look hot? What is he doing?

  I glanced at Kellen. He was staring into the distance, out the window looking rugged, thoughtful and, yes, hot.

  He’s picking his teeth with a straw. It’s gross.

  He could be picking his butt with a broom and it’d still be HOT!

  I frowned.

  Sick. And kind of gay. I’m telling him you think it’s hot that he’s gay.

  I WILL KILL YOU!!!

  I smiled with satisfaction as I put away my phone. It continued to beep angrily in my pocket but I ignored it.

  “Not talking to her anymore?” Kellen asked.

  Finally my dad was coming back to our table. I gave him a weird look, but he waved his hand dismissively.

  Don’t ask, got it.

  “No, it gets boring after a while,” I answered Kellen. “She goes on and on about the same thing.”

  “That’s one of the reasons I wasn’t planning to ask her out. I don’t know what we’d talk about.”

  “If it makes you feel better, I don’t think she’s all that interested in talking to you.”

  “Laney?” dad asked, picking up on our conversation instantly.

  I nodded, noticing how Kellen didn’t look at dad when he sat down. He kept his eyes trained on the salt shaker in the center of the table.

  “I was surprised you wanted to take her out, Kellen,” dad agreed. “Don’t misunderstand me. My daughter is a beautiful, sweet—“

  “Eh,” I disagreed.

  “Smart, energetic girl, but you two really don’t have much in common. You’ve never spent any real time together. Not like you and Jenna.”

  Kellen grinned slightly. “If only Jenna were Laney’s age.”

  “What?” I asked, shocked.

  “Now that I could get behind,” dad said heartily.

  I blushed fiercely but thankfully the waitress chose that moment to show up with our food. When she was gone, dad scowled at his plate.

  “This is not what I ordered.”

  “No, but it’s what we ordered for you,” I said, digging in.

  “What is it? The heart attack platter?”

  “I don’t think they advertise it as that, but yeah,” Kellen said. He was carefully picking through his omelet, avoiding the not so small mushrooms.

  “Jenna, I know at your age you can’t appreciate this, but I’m trying to eat better so I can live longer.”

  “What’s the point of living longer if you’re not having any fun?” I asked.

  Kellen sat back, his face dark with frustration. “This isn’t a meal. It’s a dissection.”

  “Underestimated those mushrooms, didn’t you?”

  “Maybe.”

  I shook my head as I handed him half my Hammy. “You’re hopeless.”

  He smiled gratefully. He took a large bite before leaning over and planting a crumb covered kiss on my cheek.

  “And you’re the best.”

  As Kellen sat back in his seat, happily scarfing down half my lunch, my eyes met my dad’s over the table. He was chewing on a bite of his heart attack platter as he watched me. He was smiling.

  Chapter Four

  Four Months Later

  Kellen ended up taking Laney to his Senior Prom. As a sophomore, it was a huge win for her, one I heard about endlessly for the entire month before it happened and then all through the summer. They must have hit it off because after that they started casually dating. They still didn’t talk much when Kellen was at the house tutoring me. Nothing beyond hello, goodbye and a quick kiss that made me sick inside. Laney was really busy with activities like Dance Team and gossiping and Kellen I knew already had a busy schedule so their time together was limited to weekends. When the summer hit and they had more time they’d stay at the house and lounge around the pool or head out to parties or movies. Laney wasn’t dating anyone else and as far as I knew, neither was Kellen.

  I avoided them when they were together. It wasn’t that I was jealous of my sister trying to take over my friend. Not exactly. It was more like I didn’t understand it. Kellen was weird when he was with Laney. He wasn’t exactly the same guy he was when he was with me, but dad reminded me that Kellen and I were friends while Laney was more of a girlfriend. He was bound to act differently with her. But it didn’t seem right to me. He was always so sure of himself, so certain of every choice, of every move he made. Even when he was ordering the wrong food, he was sure that was what he wanted. You couldn’t talk him out of it. But with Laney he was almost complacent. He was more subdued. Quieter. He let her make most of the decisions and I didn’t know if it was because he really didn’t care or if he was just trying to make her happy. Maybe that was it. Maybe that’s what relationships were. Giving up a little bit of yourself to fit with someone else.

  But then I saw him on the couch watching The Bachelor with her and I decided either I was wrong or love was. I went to sleep soundly that night, happy for once to be alone.

  “Jenna,” Laney whispered.

  She shook me roughly by the shoulder.

  “Jenna.”

  “What?” I grumbled
groggily. “Whatssamatter?”

  “Wake up. I need to talk to you.”

  I rolled over until I lay on my back. Rubbing my hands up and down my face, I tried to open my eyes. My room was still dark except for the moonlight pouring in from my open window. The smell of sea salt was heavy on the air and I could hear the crashing of the waves just outside past the bluffs. It was dark in here. Peaceful. Perfect for dosing, drowsing, sleeping…

  “Wake up,” Laney hissed in my ear.

  “Ughhhhhhhh,” I groaned, sitting up. “What do you want?”

  “He said he loves me.”

  My eyes shot open. Laney was sitting on the side of my bed illuminated by the moonlight. Her eyes were bright and excited, her face flushed. Her lips full. Swollen.

  “Seriously?”

  She nodded, smiling. “Yeah. He said he loves me, Jenna.”

  I didn’t get too excited. For one, I’d heard him say that to a burrito before. A couple of times actually. Once to a Danish. And two, it made my heart hurt though I didn’t really know why. I was fourteen and feeling like I was finally closing that age gap between Kellen and I but time is a bitch and she doesn’t work like that. He’d just turned eighteen that month, widening the gap yet again. This, he and Laney being in love, made that gap feel even bigger.

  They had been dating casually for almost four months and in that time I had carefully ignored their relationship. Dad was hoping it was a simple summer fling, just two kids having some laughs before Kellen left for college, but mom and I knew better. I was in denial but she had her eyes wide open. Laney was ridiculously into Kellen and he couldn’t look away from her. I wasn’t really surprised that he’d said he loved her. I’d seen him struggle to keep his hands off her when my parents were around. My dad had several times had to cough pointedly at him when he was caught staring beside the pool. Laney was a knockout, there was no denying it, and even Kellen with all his confidence and cool wasn’t immune to it. She didn’t make it easy for him either. My sister was a bit of a tease.

  “Did you say it back?” I asked.

  Laney nodded enthusiastically. “Of course I did! Well, actually I said it first and he said it back, but he still said it.” She flopped back dramatically onto my mattress. “Oh my God, the girls are going to die! I can’t wait to tell them.”