Lisette

by Gayle Eden

  Elisha and Lisette exchanged a grin.

  Lisette said, “Then you should have vases of them. Get a house with a balcony, where you can grow them right along your window. I shall write mama and have her send samples and magazines… it will be great fun planning for new chambers.”

  Thus, the ride went famously, including a picnic. Elisha enjoyed listening to their conversation, no matter how trivial. He enjoyed watching Lisette weave flowers and put them on Pamela’s wrist. He loved—looking at her.

  When they returned, she coaxed Pamela into grooming her mount, and after they changed, they gathered in the study, Lisette telling him he needed to buy cards, a chess set, and a billiard table.

  He caught his sister’s amused eye and gathered she was getting used to Lisette’s character and her informal way with him.

  Pamela excused herself when the clock chimed the ninth hour. Elisha went to where Lisette stood by the window, and took her in his arms and kissed her.

  His fingers under her chin afterwards, he gazed down and husked, “How long before we can speak intimately.”

  “One more day.” She lived her lips. “It’s difficult for me too. But this is important.”

  “You have done well with Pamela. She has gone further out of this house…she has color in her cheeks. And she is eating better.”

  “Her wounds are not in her body, Elisha. I can try, but you know more than I, that she has to fight and believe and want more.”

  “I know.” His thumb brushed her lips. “I have prayed for that every day. I was afraid for her, even though I had to leave them here and live some semblance of a life. I was afraid every time I came back that she would either take her life or go so far into herself, like mother.”

  “She didn’t.” Lisette captured his hand. “Does she talk to Drew?”

  “Yes. He brought her here. He sat many nights with her afterwards. He came down regularly, to see to the estate. He tried to talk with Mother too. But with Pamela, yes. He has a way….”

  “Um. A gift.” She agreed.

  Her thumb stroking his hand stirred him. He could easily lose himself in her gaze. However, he heard her say, “He’s given you much, and in some ways, it’s healed him too. I am in awe of the bond you share.”

  “He is in love with you.”

  “You knew—”

  “I saw it…and heard it, when he’d advise me. When he—told me to fight for what we had.” Elisha nodded and used his free hand to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Perhaps we’re that connected, that deeply entwined.”

  “I think so. He has a similar love—for you. You need not feel apologetic that you feel love for him, also.”

  “I am not apologetic. I owe him my very life, in a sense.”

  “Yes.” She held his gaze. “He believes the same of you.” She said softly, “When you said, you were a virgin; you meant making love with a woman didn’t you.”

  “Yes.” His silver gaze did not waver. “It wasn’t sexual per se. It was…what it was.”

  “Would you believe me if I said, I understand that too? It is beautiful, the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you. It’s not carnal or mere lust, it’s that enviable mind and soul, of tender and protective—yet proud—as if you each bask in the other’s simplest joys and happiness.”

  “I believe you are capable of understanding what others do not put into words. I do not put things into words like that,” he murmured, adding, “We lived our emotions because life wasn’t life, or true living. There is no defining what is when you exist in your mind and emotions. I would think myself to be dead were it not for the rage and fear. There is torment in letting yourself feel any hope, Lisette—even to purge anger and fear. I walked within a nightmare that never let me awaken before Drew forced me to.”

  “And you hated, and loved him, for it?”

  “Yes. Until it was all over, and that bastard was dead, I did. However, it was never over, not for me, because he had wrecked my Mother’s soul and robbed my sister of life, too. I could hope, I could forget for days and weeks…”

  “You’re a better man than any who sired you. You will build a better life. You will leave a wonderful legacy. A true one.”

  “I hope so.” He scrapped his teeth over his lip.

  “I know it.” She kissed his hand then released it. “I must go.

  “I want you.”

  She returned softly, “I would not be here if I didn’t need and want you, Elisha.”

  “Am I meeting your request that I express myself and talk to you?”

  “You’re getting there.”

  He grunted and smiled. “I have exposed more than I intended.”

  Lisette reached and touched his hard cheek. “Your secrets and confidences are safe with me. They are no one’s business—the things that I presume you are second guessing about, now that you have told me. You know that your most private struggles or your pleasures are not something everyone has the right to know. I only encourage you in order to show you, prove to you that your fears of it making me feel differently or see you as less than the man you are, are groundless.”

  “We should speak of us. Of our feelings.”

  “Yes. But not yet.” She shook her head. “When I got out of that coach, that is all I cared about. Now I care for Pamela too.”

  “She’s never had someone to confide and talk to, to guide her in the more—feminine things.”

  “Now she does.” Lisette told him.

  “Help me not to feel guilt that you are here, and not out doing something more pleasurable. Not causing scandal in London,” he grinned, “Or enjoying life as you do.”

  “Don’t. I have my whole life. And, I like being needed. I like making loyal friends. I like living life—all of it, and this is part of it.”

  His silvery gaze moved over her face. He said when he met her eyes again. “You have a way of getting into my heart and soul, Lisette.”

  She closed her eyes a moment and then lifted her lashes. “That’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  Elisha watched her go up the stairs, his emotions making his body long for her all the more. Finally, he sought his bed, lying nude under the covers, wishing she was next to him.

  * * * *

  Lisette tried something bolder the next day. After their morning walk, and a substantial breakfast and brisk ride—where she wore her trousers—and laughed at the expression on Pamela’s face—she went on to tell her she’d teach her archery and other sports, and she invited Pamela into her chambers.

  In the pretext of having her talk with her while she changed, Pamela herself in a summer blouse and riding skirt—Lisette waited until the maid left and divested herself of clothing.

  She talked all the while she bathed in a pan, and told her casually, “You know, when we were younger, once I was out of that bloody sickbed, Haven and I were swimming in the lake, in our chemises. I am grateful she was as blunt as I, because I thought my breasts were grotesque since they were larger than hers. And my nipples… completely different.”

  She pat dry, having her hair piled up and before pulling on stockings and chemise, went on, “And when my menses started… Mama swears I screamed so loud the rafters shook.”

  She heard the softest giggle, and sat down, rolling on the stockings. “I was too bloody curious too, once I realized we’re all different shapes and hues. Thankfully my mama is very blunt-and once she convinced me I wasn’t going to die, during my monthlies—though I still find them inconvenient, I began to realize how beautiful every woman’s body is.”

  She stood and after having the garters secure, and slipped on her chemise. “Of course it helps to feel it too. I am not vain, though I do like that Elisha finds me attractive. I am speaking more of how your body feels… the soft skin and pleasure at touching. How this silk feels against it.”

  After tying the small tie at the breast, she was pulling on her blouse, and looked over, seeing a blush on Pamela’s cheeks.
However, she was looking at her.

  Meeting her gaze when it lifted, Lisette offered, “I will give you some of my bath oils. When you put them in the water, close your eyes. It is like breathing in the garden at night. As if, you were out there bathing instead. And when feel it on your skin…mmm.”

  She was fully dressed and went to sit by Pamela. “Bathe in them tonight and slip into the rose garment I gave you. It will relax you, and you’ll have a lovely sleep.”

  Pamela nodded almost shyly.

  “How old are you, Pamela?”

  “Nineteen.” Pamela fiddled with a button on her shirt.

  “And you came here, when?”

  “I was just turned sixteen.”

  Lisette put her arm around her and for a moment let the birdsong filter through the window. She said eventually, “We will go shopping when you are ready to go to London. Your coloring is stunning. You should have lovely stockings and gowns. And your own special perfumes. When Elisha has the house picked out…”

  “—Will you—is he going to marry you?”

  “Hmmm. That, I do not know.” Lisette offered with a soft laugh, “What matters more to me, is if he loves me.”

  “He does.”

  Lisette met her gaze.

  Pamela said, “I know he does. He was afraid to, I think. He… felt so burdened by us. Even though he has changed for the better, made the life, I am so glad he did, he changed most of all—after meeting you. I could tell when he spoke of you.”

  “I wasn’t very nice to him.” Lisette told her then, about her rebellion against the suit.

  Pamela laughed.

  “Yes, well. I was such a fool. I had no idea what I wanted or what I would feel for him. Becoming lovers quickly became complicated too, because emotions are a big part of intimacy, at least for a woman.”

  “I don’t know if I could…” Pamela looked away.

  “Love yourself first,” Lisette told her softly. “Love your body and the life inside it, the breath that you nurture it with. Love the gift of pleasure, of letting yourself feel, the wonder of being. Everything will be easier to accept. If you never experience a different kind of love, at least accept the beauty of Yourself... We are all different shape, size, and hue. You have beauty in body and soul, and love in your heart. You’ve simply got to allow yourself to acknowledge it.”

  After Pamela was gone to change and see to her own bath, Lisette went in search of Elisha, deducing he would be in his chambers.

  Pushing open the doors to his sitting room, Lisette’s breath was snatched from her lungs.

  Elisha was in the entryway to his bedchamber with his back to her. Completely nude—all six foot four inches of dark sinewy skin and muscle exposed. Her gaze caressed from his heels, up his calves, over the backs of his thighs, an arse—that made her want to moan—His taut waist and the flair of muscle in his upper back and shoulders were deliciously, sexually, alluring. She completely forgot what she was there for. He was so chiseled, smooth, carved and masculine. His hair was wet, so strands separated on his nape.

  Lisette licked her lips recalling kissing just that spot.

  As if feeling someone behind him, Elisha’s head turned and those silver eyes caught her in the act of ogling his body.

  He almost turned completely around, but fist reached for something-that turned out to be toweling. It was draped low on his hips when he did face her. “Come in.”

  His tone sounded gruff. It went in her ear and to all the right places his image had already stirred.

  She managed, “You’ve got a valet?”

  “No. Smith-er—Drew is here. He’s just telling me about the sale of the house.”

  She actually flushed. “Oh.”

  Elisha grinned and leaned his shoulder against the facing. “You’re blushing, Lisette.”

  “I didn’t expect…”

  Drew appeared beside Elisa. He was smiling too. “Hello.” He passed Elisha and said, “I’ll just leave.”

  “No. I—I" There was always an intimacy and bond when she saw the two of them together, and she had the feeling they had been talking about her.

  “I’ll just…go.”

  Both men laughed.

  She looked between them turning redder but saying, “I’ll see you both at dinner.”

  Her hand was on the knob when Elisha drawled, “I enjoy your voyeuristic tendencies.”

  Too, close behind her, Drew said with a tease in his tone, “That’s an indulgence we share, my lady.”

  As she proceeded down the hall, she heard their laughter blending. However, Lisette was smiling. They were enjoying themselves and she was more than happy to suffer a little blushing to hear their laughter.

  * * * *

  At dinner, which Pamela attended, they heard that the London house was snatched up almost before the sale was posted.

  Drew said, “The duke sent a note around that a gent at his club had the very thing for Marston. It is a respectable size and well addressed. The furnishings are nice, and everything is modern. He was good enough to send the man’s address. All awaits Elisha’s approval.”

  “I’ll send him a missive, and draft one to my man of business. No tour is necessary. Anything will be an improvement,” was Elisha’s answer.

  “Famous. You’ll be decorating that suite before you know it.” Lisette told Pamela.

  Looking better from fresh air and sun, wearing a gown of soft lavender, and having her hair up in a twist, Pamela offered, “I hope you will advise me.”

  “Of course. And my mama will come up too. She is wonderful at that—and haggling. She has superb taste, though I have warned you, she will have her pets with her.”

  “She’s a delightful woman,” Drew told her. “Completely without pretense, but has that unmistakable way of carrying herself—even when she has a parrot on her arm.”

  They laughed.

  “Cake and coffee.” Elisha stood.

  They all followed him, assembling in the study. A warm rain began to fall, and it brought a waft of spring air through the open French doors.

  Seated on a settee with Pamela while Elisha and Drew flanked it in winged chairs, they talked in quiet tones. Lisette was glad Pamela joined in. She did not miss Drew’s smiles at her either, and his warm way of speaking to Pamela. He was obviously overjoyed she was coming out of her shell.

  They were sitting there when Marston caught Lisette’s gaze and offered quietly, “We have, each in our own way, fallen in love with you.”

  Her heart hammering, Lisette answered, “It’s mutual. It is no secret that I fought it, Elisha. I was so afraid, in my own way, of being confined, of having to live under rules and by them, in a way that would suffocate me.”

  “I know.”

  “I didn’t. I didn’t know until you withdrew and I could see you as you were, instead of—well, what my mother presented you to me.”

  He did that quirk of his lips. “You can thank Drew for that.”

  “I know.” She looked at the man who winked at her. Then back to Elisha. “Even when I realized I wanted you, you made me daft not showing all of yourself to me.”

  Those silver eyes were direct. “Lisette, no man wants to appear less than he is. It was not only failing to protect my mother, my sister, to stand up to my father, it was…everything that I became, to appease him.”

  “I do understand. You felt that, but it would have never seemed so to me. Knowing only deepens my impression of your strength, Elisha.”

  He looked from her a moment. “And it was what I felt before he took himself out of the world. I knew he would.” He looked back at her. “I knew what I was doing.”

  Drew cut in, “It was his choice. His sins and cruelty, Elisha. He did not apologize or feel guilt. He didn’t want his real character exposed, but he didn’t have a moment’s regret otherwise.”

  “True.” Elisha released a tight breath. “But it doesn’t change what I felt and experienced when what I told him finally dawned in his eyes. I knew he
’d end it—and I wanted it ended.”

  “I’m not going to judge you for that. I may have done the same.” Lisette offered.

  “I didn’t want to drag you into my past, or my present.” Elisha told her. “You see the contrast. You live it. Your family. But mostly you, Lisette. Even while my feelings are stronger because you have been so kind Pamela, I still feel it. I feel like we have brought something into your life, our shadows and pain—that will change you.”

  “Not in the manner you fear. Because I love life and live it does not mean I am without compassion or that, I am oblivious to horrific things. I do not live behind ivory walls. My parents are not perfect. We were often times confused by their relationship. As much as they love, they argue just as passionately.”

  She raised her hand. “The thing is, Elisha. I did not want adventure and all that, in order to escape reality. I never believed it was without risk. However, wanting in ignorance of what lies within your path is something we all do. On the contrary, I do not feel something has been taken from me since I have met you, I feel a deeper understanding of why life and living are precious. Why love is so profound.”

  Lowering her hand, she looked at Pamela. “I see the way we’re connected and feel that I’ve learned something from all of you.” Looking next to Drew, she went on, “Rather than making me cynical, it proves that love has many facets and there are people whom you meet that can make life richer and more meaningful.”

  After she looked at Marston again, Drew murmured, “Perhaps Pamela and I will leave. You two—”

  Pamela was already rising…

  Marston said softly, “I love you, Lisette. I loved you before I uttered one word to you, but now, I love you more than I ever thought possible.”

  She was going to weep. She nearly got to her feet, before he held up his hand and stopped her.

  Lisette sat down again. “But?”

  “I have written the duke, formally applying for your hand in marriage.”

  Her lips parted. “You have?”

  “Yes. I also asked him, and the duchess, to come here and allow me to speak with them.”

  He slid up in his chair and his gaze sought her understanding. “I feel they must know me. It is only right, given that I first approached your mother, and how they opened their home to me. More importantly, I want the duke to know I love you. You may not see it Lisette, but you are the apple of his eye. Though he lets the duchess have her way, and he trusts you, I could see when I was there, that he was measuring me. He needs to know you will mean as much to the man he gives you to—as you do to him.”