Flawed Perfection

by Cassandra L. Giovanni

  “At least I look hot,” I answered.

  “Andy won’t be able to say no, even if you do act like you have a stick up your ass all night,” Tara commented as she shoved the makeup drawer in my vanity shut. “But, I’ll be pissed at you if you do.”

  “Tara,” I began as I stood. “Let me remind you, you dragged me into this like you always do.”

  She rolled her eyes as she left the bathroom, swaying her curvy hips on the way out. She had chosen a red dress that hugged her frame in all the right places. I should have known when she came up with a bag she planned something more than just hanging out all day.

  “I’ll be tolerable,” I said just as a knock came on the door.

  “I thought we were meeting them there?” I asked as I headed to answer it.

  Tara shrugged. “We are.”

  I opened the door to see Adam standing there with his head hanging.

  “We need to,” Adam began as he looked up. He paused when he saw my outfit then continued in a barely audible voice; “talk.”

  Tara popped up over my shoulder, dangling my red stilettos. “Sorry, River and I have a double date we need to get to.”

  Adam’s jaw clenched, and he nodded. For the second time that night I wanted to flip my hand back and slap her.

  “I can see that. You both look amazing,” he said, his eyes never leaving my face as he gave a weak smile before turning with his hands clenched.

  “We can talk later if you want,” I said to his back.

  When he reached the door he paused with his hand on the door. His upper lip arched up as he thought of his response.

  “No, on second thought I don’t think it’s necessary anymore. Have a good time,” he answered, his eyes on his hand as he turned the knob.

  Tara nudged me with the shoes again as I stared at the now closed door. What had he meant by necessary anymore?

  I wanted to knock the door down to ask him what he was talking about—to demand he felt the same about me as I did him. To save me from the infernal Hell Tara was about to me through; to save me from myself. I couldn’t, though. Instead I turned and took the shoes Tara was shoving in my face.

  “We’ll be late if we don’t get going,” Tara reminded me.

  I slipped the shoes on before answering her, “Can you drive? I’m not feeling that well all of a sudden.”

  “Andy will fix it,” Tara said as she grabbed her keys and slipped her own shoes on.

  “Doubtful,” I said to myself as I followed her out the door.

  Chapter 16

  I sat in the car staring out the window trying to figure out a way to force Adam to tell me what he wanted to talk about. His face flashed in my mind, and I knew from the hard set in his eyes he would never tell me. That look was one the Beckerson boys shared, and it was one that always sent my stomach on a rollercoaster. It meant they were hurt, and they had no way to tell me why. With Bobby I always knew what it meant—Adam was another thing. I never knew what that broken look meant when he gave it to me. My mind drifted from Adam to Bobby and back again as Tara sat huffing at my silence. Halfway to the restaurant I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “What’s wrong?” I finally asked.

  “Are you going to mope like this the whole time?”

  “I told you I wasn’t really up to this tonight,” I said.

  “I’m trying to help you get over Adam,” Tara sighed.

  “After years of trying you’re still up to that trick?”

  She smirked over at me. “I’ll win eventually.”

  “And why are you so set on me getting over Adam?” I asked.

  She shrugged, hands drumming on the windowsill to the song on the radio. “Don’t get me wrong—if he finally realized how perfect you are for each other I’d be fine with it…I just want to make sure he wouldn’t treat you like everyone else he’s dated. He’s a player.”

  “I know. I’ve known him my whole life.”

  “Don’t get mad at me, please. I know you know him better than anyone else—”

  “I do.”

  “Right, so do you really want to wreck your friendship if it doesn’t work out?”

  I looked down at my hands. “I think it’s already getting there.”

  “Was that what that was about back there?” she asked as she put her hand on my leg and squeezed.

  “I think I’m losing both of them,” I said.

  “You can’t lose Bobby, then I’ll never have my fantasy come true!” she teased, trying to lightened the mood.

  “That’d be a tragedy,” I responded with a weak smile.

  “Here we are,” she said as she patted my leg one more time before parking.

  “Is that them?” I asked.

  I pointed to the two Bobby-bodied boys standing at the door of the restaurant.

  She nodded. “Hot, right?”

  All I could hear was Adam saying Cro-Magnon.

  Chapter 17

  Somehow I managed to make it through that first dinner with Andy. I giggled on cue, fluttered my eyelashes just like Tara wanted, and she was even convinced I liked him. When he asked me on another date I smiled and nodded, only to bang my head on the door when I got home.

  Tara hounded me the next day at work about how she was so right about him. For her sake I decided to give him another shot, but I wasn’t going to look like the hotness he’d seen on the first date. I was going to look utterly normal and see how he felt about that.

  I slipped on a casual outfit with minimal makeup before grabbing my leather jacket as I answered the door.

  “Hey lady,” Andy greeted, his head in the arch of his oversized arms. I hadn’t thought it was possible for a human to be bigger than Bobby, but Andy was definitely up for the challenge. He had to be on roids.

  “You look great!” he said.

  “Thanks,” I replied, cursing myself for putting on a tight t-shirt as he pulled me into a quick hug and left his arm around my shoulders as I shut the door, and we walked to the stairs.

  “I’m surprised this place doesn’t have an elevator,” he said as we began to descend.

  I waited the two seconds it took to reach the bottom of the first set of stairs and nodded directly in front of me to the big silver doors.

  “We do.”

  God. He. Is. Stupid.

  He gave me a crooked grin. “I guess I was just so excited to see you that I rushed up the stairs instead.”

  Gag me. I smiled.

  “It looks like a few stairs wouldn’t hurt you,” I commented, nodding to his sculpted body.

  “Yeah, it’s not like I don’t work out or anything,” he replied as he flexed his arm around my neck for effect.

  I took the bait as we headed down the final flight of stairs, trying desperately not to act like a total bitch and shrug his arm off me. “How often do you workout?”

  Andy scratched his head. I wondered what was so difficult about the question; maybe he was trying to figure out what would impress me.

  Adam’s voice echoed in my head Cro-Magnon.

  “Cardio in the morning, weight lifting in the evening,” Andy said with a big smile.

  He thought it would impress me. The fact he used a word as big as evening was the real shocker. I stifled a bitchy giggle.

  “Sounds like that takes up a lot of your time,” I commented as he held the door for me.

  His face dropped as he considered what I said, before he perked up again.

  “It’s worth it, don’t you think?”

  His arm slipped around my waist this time, under the leather jacket, and he looked down at me in mock shock. “You workout, too!”

  “What makes you say that?” I asked as I tried to retain the twitch in my face.

  He squeezed my side with his oversized paddle-for-a-hand. “Tight abs.”

  “Aerobic dance five times a week. I give myself a break on the weekends,” I admitted as he pulled out the remote key to his car. I tried not to gawk at the circle with three slashes.


  The lights on a white Mercedes up ahead flashed.

  “You like it?” he inferred from my expression.

  It wasn’t just any hunk of junk old Mercedes; it was a new CL- Class Coupe; all sleek lines and dollar symbols. I swallowed, stopping midstride as I stared at the shiny white exterior and already visible red leather.

  “What the hell do you do for a living?” I managed to say.

  “Eh, it’s not that pricey,” Andy replied, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably.

  I turned to face him and crossed my arms.

  “I’m a car girl,” I began as I tilted my chin over my shoulder. “You’re talking about a hundred twenty thousand dollars right there.”

  Andy’s green eyes locked on mine. “Car salesmen.”

  “So it’s not yours?”

  He looked at the sky, cracking his neck in a way that made me cringe. His eyes met mine again, and he smirked, all cheese and nausea.

  “Nah, I’m just that good.”

  Oh. No, he didn’t.

  “I guess so,” I said as I choked.

  “You’re laughing at me!” Andy took the cue to pull me into his arms in a playful gesture.

  I did start laughing as he took the opportunity to kiss me lightly on the neck.

  “So you’re a total bullshitter?” I asked as he loosened his grip around me and opened the door.

  He was being a gentleman. Wow.

  “You know it, honey!” he said as he walked around and somehow managed to fit his frame inside the tiny car.

  “It’s a bit small for you, don’t you think?” I asked.

  Andy laughed and tilted his chin towards Bobby getting out of his truck. “You expected something like that?”

  I swallowed. “I guess so.”

  “Not all big guys are the same,” Andy assured me as we drove past Bobby.

  I averted my eyes in guilt.

  No, I thought to myself; Bobby actually had a brain compared to the rich idiot next to me.

  Chapter 18

  There was one thing about Andy that was amusing, his complete inability to do anything besides bullshit. The guy had an ego almost as big as him, which was so extreme it was almost funny. He also seemed pretty enamored with me. He bought me flowers on our third date, chocolates on our fourth, and today he’d brought a bottle of wine. At the moment I was feeling like a complete masochist, because I’d suffered through five whole dates and half a bottle of the nastiest red wine I’d ever tasted.

  Now I was trying to tell myself I liked him, but every part of my body was reeling with how wrong he felt. I hated the clumsiness of his big body hovering over mine. There was nothing dainty or normal sized about Andy, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to learn just what else wasn’t normal sized on him. He certainly wanted to show me from the way he was sucking on my neck in a way that was making me bite my lip in annoyance. I swore if he gave me a hickey he’d had another thing coming.

  He practically busted the buttons off of my shirt as he fumbled with them before pushing the top over my shoulders and down my arms with a groan. I was un-amused, and I sure as hell wasn’t turned on by his groping. I should have been. There was nothing wrong with Andy—tall, dark, handsome and chiseled. Hell, my waist was practically the size of one of his arms, but it was everything I didn’t find attractive. He continued to nuzzle between my breasts, and I pretended to like it by letting my nails dig into the flesh of his back.

  He was gasping for breath now as he fiddled with his belt, and just then a knock came on the door.

  Thank God.

  He tried to pin me down, his moist breath hitting my neck and making me cringe. “They can wait.”

  “Coming!” I yelled over him.

  He huffed and moved away as I buttoned my shirt haphazardly and rushed to answer the door.

  I yanked it open with too much force, afraid that whoever was there hadn’t heard me and might have left.

  Adam stood there, head against his upper arm, pouting at me.

  “Was I interrupting something?” he asked, straightening up and looking over my shoulder.

  “Yea—” Andy began.

  “Not at all,” I cut him off, using my hand to pull Adam in the door. “Come on in!”

  Andy stood zipping his jeans and pulling his shirt back on. “Err…can I take a shower?”

  I raised an eyebrow at him and answered pointedly, “You don’t need one.”

  I watched his throat as he swallowed. “Umm…I guess I’ll get going then. See you later.”

  Andy shook his head at me as he went out the door, slamming it behind him.

  “Wow,” Adam whistled. “You’re one cold-hearted bitch.”

  “I wasn’t going to have him whacking off in my shower,” I snapped as Adam took a seat at the island, and I grabbed a glass of water.

  I really hated myself right now.

  I swished it around my mouth and spat it in the sink with Adam watching, but as I looked up I choked.

  Adam smirked. “What?”

  “What?” I gasped forgetting my previous anger. I placed the glass in the sink and pointed at his lip. “Is that?”

  He pulled the lip ring into his mouth with his teeth and let it out slowly.

  Now, that—that turned me on. The lip ring fit him perfectly. In fact, I’d never seen a lip ring that appealed to me before his. They always seemed too big for the scrawny kids’ faces, and too overkill for the big tough guys.

  “You like it?”

  “How did you get that with your job?”

  “The little kids love it! Administration thinks it looks like I have a fish hook in my face, but they said they’d deal with it until it’s healed enough that I can take it out during the day,” he explained, standing and coming around the counter. “Lucky thing I’m such a good teacher. They couldn’t get too mad at me.”

  “Right,” I said as I rolled my eyes just so I didn’t have to look at him.

  “So what was that all about?” Adam asked, nodding to my neck.

  “He didn’t!” I screeched, grabbing at the area he was staring at.

  Adam nodded, and I couldn’t help the growl that came out of my mouth.

  “I’m going to fucking kill him!”

  Adam’s eyes widened at my swearing.

  “Whoa, now! No need for indecency…” his eyes moved over my half-buttoned shirt; “though, I guess you already crossed that line.”

  I glanced down, and you could clearly see my red bra through it.

  “Adam, don’t test me!” I said, but I didn’t cover myself.

  I wanted him to see what he was missing.

  “So is he satisfying your needs?” Adam pushed further, a scowl on his face despite his playful tone.

  “Do I look satisfied?” I fired back, crossing my arms so my cleavage practically busted out.

  Adam’s eyes drifted for a moment before coming back up to my face. “Then why are you dating him?”

  I found myself shaking my head at him as I opened and closed my mouth with no answer. I didn’t have a clue other than Tara had said I should try to move on.

  I couldn’t though. Andy didn’t turn me on half-naked and climbing all over me. Adam turned me on just by looking at me.

  I was a freaking mess.

  “Commitment-probe, remember?” I finally managed to answer as I played with the hem of my shirt.

  “Right, me too. I dumped Clara, she was a freak,” he said as he opened the fridge.

  “You hungry?” I asked as I watched him.

  “I could go for some chicken parm?” Adam suggested, a concealed smile coming to his face.

  “I don’t have the ingredients to make that!” I said as my stomach growled. “I totally would, though.”

  Adam held out his hand for me. “Dinner’s on me then—I’ll pay if you cook?”

  I slid my hand into his and let him lead me to the door. Now I had butterflies, and he was just holding my hand.

  Why did he have to make me feel so good?
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br />   “Sounds like a deal,” I said.

  “Oh, wait.” Adam stopped and signaled to my shirt with the tilt of his head.

  I dropped his hand and began to unbutton it. I flared it open to straighten the layout before I began to re-button it. When I looked up Adam was staring at my body, face red and eyes wide.

  “What? It’s not like you’ve never seen me in a bathing suit before,” I said as I reached over him and grabbed my purse.

  I was acting calm but suddenly it felt like the room had risen ten degrees, and it only got worse as his hand reached for my waist and steadied me as I lost balance.

  His breath was warm on my neck, causing pleasure goose bumps to travel down it and over my chest as he replied, “There’s a big difference between red lace and pink spandex.”

  I leaned back and cocked my head at him. “What? You have a thing for lace?”

  He shook his head before heading out the door, saying under his breath, “I think on you I might.”

  I tried to hold back the smile that came to my face.

  I could wait, couldn’t I?

  Chapter 19

  When I rolled over in bed the next morning the last thing I thought I would see was a text from Andy on my phone.

  We need to talk. Is it okay if I pick you up for coffee at 10 from your work?

  I let a breath out as I stared at the ceiling. I could break it off with him face to face then. I squeezed my eyes shut praying maybe that was what he wanted to do anyways.

  Sure.

  I replied before rolling out of bed to put on my workout clothes. At least I could burn off some anxiety about the situation.

  Halfway through my workout Bobby stuck his head in.

  “Hey,” he said with an awkward smile.

  “Come in,” I invited, grabbing the remote and shutting the TV off before flopping on the couch.

  Bobby stared down at me, rocking on the balls of his feet as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. That was unusual in and of itself. Bobby never lacked confidence in what he said. I patted the seat next to me as I pulled my feet to my chest.