Flawed Perfection

by Cassandra L. Giovanni

  When I looked up to unlock the car door Adam was already standing there waiting for me.

  “Writing a new song?” I asked as I slipped the camera strap over my head and grabbed my purse.

  He shrugged as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me until I was lightheaded.

  “Thinking about doing that,” he replied as we began to walk towards the apartment.

  “Either way,” I began as I took my camera and showed him what I’d taken; “made for a damn good picture.”

  He rolled his eyes as he opened the door for me. “That’s because you like this tie-vest getup.”

  I leaned into him as we took the first step and kissed his chin below his ear. “You’ve got that right.”

  I felt the shiver pass through his body, and he stopped, using his grip on my hand to push me against the stairwell wall.

  “That’s not fair,” he growled at me.

  “Life’s not fair,” I replied.

  I tried hard to breath, but his chest pressing into my own coupled with the way he was looking at me made me dizzy. All I could sense was his body against mine, and the intoxication of the feeling mingled with his comforting cologne.

  “I used to think that.” Adam let my hands drop and his finger tilted my chin to his. “Then you let me kiss you.”

  It was over then; there was no holding back as I pulled on his vest until our lips crushed into one another.

  “I,” Adam gasped in between kisses; “can’t walk…up the steps…and kiss you.”

  I pulled away laughing and raced up the stairs in front of him, daring him to catch me. At the top of the stairs I stopped because I had no idea what apartment we were going in to. Adam reached the top and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards his.

  “Bobby’s not home,” Adam said as he pushed the door open, and we slid in. “Might as well take advantage of it.”

  I closed the door, and Adam pulled me into his arms before we tripped over the couch and landed softly on it.

  “Bedroom?” I suggested, remembering what Tara had told me.

  I didn’t want to bless the same furniture they had.

  He continued kissing me as he pulled my legs around his waist and lifted me up. My jaw clenched at how strong he was without having to look like he worked out every day.

  That made me want him even more, but there was one thing standing in my way—his sexy teacher-getup.

  The amount of buttons was damn frustrating. I got through one set, only to have to go through another.

  “You alright there?” Adam asked as I let out a huff.

  I looked up at him as I slipped the last button and let my lips hover over the area just above his belly button. “Really?”

  He had a smirk on, and I stood from the bed. Two could play that game.

  “Oh, no you don’t!” Adam yelled as he pulled me back onto him.

  “I’ll wear a button-up next time,” I snapped as my eyes wandered from his now bare chest up to his eyes.

  He bit his lip. “As long as it comes with a pencil skirt like that I’m up for the challenge.”

  His hand cupped my chin and tilted it so he could nip at the soft flesh of my neck.

  “Still mad?” he murmured as his lips traced a line up to my ear.

  I sighed in response, and I could feel the smile on his lips as he continued until his mouth found my own.

  Chapter 32

  The weekend passed in a world wind of cuddling, kisses and pleasure without having to worry about Bobby walking in and getting, well, the right impression. Bobby returned exhausted, but still had another hockey game that Tuesday night. I felt guilty that I was happy that it gave Adam and me a little more time together, but couldn’t help the smile on my face as we stood on the balcony watching the sunset.

  “How come you don’t ever have that thing when Bobby is around?” Adam asked with a nod over my shoulder to the camera sitting on the window sill.

  I sighed as I picked it up. “Bobby’s kind of sensitive about it ever since he saw the pictures of you and me. It’s like he blames the camera for the whole thing.”

  Adam smirked as he took a swig of beer.

  “Blaming an inanimate object for us being in love with each other…he’ll always find some excuse other than we were made for each other.”

  His comment was so matter of fact for mentioning the word love, and I bit my inner cheek as I played over the words. It made me wonder why he hadn’t just come out and said it directly to me. I pinched the plastic cover off the camera as a distraction and looked through the viewfinder.

  It was one of those beautiful nights in Boston where the city lights reflected up into the dark sky and danced with the stars. The moon was low, partially hidden by a building two blocks away as it perfectly framed Adam. He stood there with his button-up half untucked, his tie nowhere to be seen, and his beer dangling from his fingers.

  In that moment Adam reminded me of the type photography I preferred. Un-posed just felt so much easier, or maybe it was just taking pictures of him. In the studio I often felt confined and lost as I took pictures I was ordered to take. Sometimes I just felt like I could never get the shot, the one I had in mind when I designed the shoot or started thinking of the advertisement. With Adam I never really had to plan anything—every picture just felt right. I didn’t feel lost, and every picture seemed to play itself out with such ease. It reminded me that I actually could get the shot.

  I set the shutter and aperture to handle the dim lighting before I began to click away. A smile crept onto his face as he rolled up his sleeves, placing the beer down before turning back to face the city. I could feel the smile entering my own face as I watched his every move through the tiny glass frame.

  Everything about his composure screamed flawed. He leaned his forearms against the cool metal of the rod iron balcony, his head tucking slightly between his shoulders as I clicked away.

  Then he looked directly at the camera over his shoulder and everything screamed perfection. He was caught by the lens with his eyes passionate, yet soft, while his thin lips were set in a thoughtful line. The whole picture was made even sexier by the lip ring that accented his face and the scar that traveled the entirety of his lip to the edge of his nose. It was a mark he’d been self-conscious about since the day a hockey puck to the face had given it to him; a mark girls drooled over as much as I was now.

  “Give me that,” his firm order knocked me out of my Nikon stupor.

  “Huh?”

  “Give. Me. That,” he repeated. “It’s my turn.”

  “No!” I said as I yanked the camera away from his outstretched hand.

  “Yes!” he yelled back, a smirk covering his face as he planted his feet and used his body to block the only exit from the balcony.

  I judged the distance carefully before dodging him and slipping through the window. His hands reached for me, but my shirt was short enough that instead of catching onto anything solid his hands slipped against my skin. It caused a shiver to go up my spine, but I rushed forward with the camera in the air and put the couch between us.

  “You really think you can out run me?” Adam shouted at me.

  “Of course I can!” I fired back as he ran at me.

  I scooted around the couch that created an island between us and stuck my tongue out. What I didn’t expect was Adam to run and jump over it, quickly closing the gap.

  “Not fair!” I squealed as I raced into the only room with an open door—his.

  “AH HA!” Adam exclaimed as he ran at me, tackling me onto his bed. He pinned me down with the weight of his body and grabbed the camera from me, putting it just out of reach on the chair piled with his clothes. “Now I’ve got you where I want you!”

  Our eyes were locked on one another, and his sadistic smile turned incredibly sexy. I took a deep breath as I was reminded of the fact he was finally mine—that he could lean over and kiss me, and that I knew for once that he wanted exactly what I wanted.

  “Do I want to
know what’s going on in here?” Bobby’s voice echoed from the door way.

  Adam shot off of me, his hands both stuck in his hair.

  “I was…err…trying to get umm…River’s camera from her,” Adam said.

  Bobby’s face was stern, and definitely pissed off. The muscles in his oversized neck twitched as I grabbed my camera from the chair and stood.

  I couldn’t help myself—I shot past Adam screaming, “I win!”

  “Oh, no you don’t!” Adam called after me, evidently forgetting his incredibly pissed off and jealous hulk of a brother.

  He took off after me and caught me as I tried to unbolt the door.

  “You know what the punishment for attempting to escape is?” Adam asked as he grabbed my camera and tossed it on the couch, pinning me to the door with one hand on my waist.

  “You take a picture of me?” I mocked him.

  He turned to face me and his brows shadowed his eyes as he moved closer to me. Bobby was still watching, but I was completely captivated by Adam’s addictive presence.

  “No,” he answered with a slow shake of his head. His lips twitched as he tried to remain serious. “It’s a crime punishable by tickling!”

  “No!” I yelped as his fingers ran up my shirt and to my ribs. “Please, stop!”

  He tilted his head back. “Muauahaha!”

  “Adam!” I squealed as my knees began to cave with the laughter.

  “Do you surrender?” he asked as I crumbled to the floor in his arms.

  “Never!”

  I was crying now from the laughter caused half caused from the tickling, half caused from the insane amount of joy he brought me.

  “Now?” Adam asked again.

  “Fine! Fine! I give up!” I said, and he slowly withdrew his hands before helping me stand.

  “Was it worth it?” he asked with his hands on his hips.

  I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “Are you done making me want to puke?” Bobby interrupted us.

  I looked over Adam’s shoulders at him.

  “Are you done being a cry baby?” I fired back.

  Bobby rolled his eyes. “I thought we were ordering Chinese?”

  “You guys are getting Chinese?” Adam asked.

  “Yes, River and I were,” Bobby snapped back.

  Adam missed the point. “After chasing River around I’m famished.”

  Bobby shot me a look, but instead I ignored him and smiled about at Adam.

  “You want to join us?”

  “Sure!” Adam replied.

  I watched as Bobby grinded his teeth at me. He’d have to deal with it, but I did feel a bit guilty. It was the first time we had really planned any time with one another since he started dating Tara, and I’d secretly started dating his brother.

  “We’ll do something some other time,” I said to Bobby as I walked past him to get a menu.

  “You know it’s hard with the girlfriend around,” he hissed back at me. “It’s not like she’s a fan of me hanging out with you alone.”

  I stopped and cocked my head at him. “Really? Don’t try that on me.”

  “She knows,” he said.

  I widened my eyes at him. “Yeah, she does.”

  I watched as his eyes flickered back and forth over mine as he tried to formulate a response to what I said.

  Finally he swallowed and replied, “I don’t know what’s going on with you and Adam, but I wanted some time with you—it’s like he’s got a River timeshare, and he’s not interested in ever leaving.”

  “You’ll get some time with me,” I replied as I glanced around his hulking frame. Adam was sitting on the couch pretending to watch the TV, but he was looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.

  “When, River?” Bobby demanded.

  “Tomorrow?”

  “No Adam?”

  “No,” I said with a pat of his arm as I grabbed the menu and went to show it to Adam. I could still feel his eyes boring into my back as Adam and I smiled at one another.

  I wondered how obvious it had become.

  Chapter 33

  Despite whatever Bobby thought might be going on with Adam and I, he didn’t mention anything when we went bowling the next day. He didn’t even mention it when our date continued over pizza. We talked about work and hockey—about the competition he was going up against this season with his team, but never once did we talk about Adam, and for once I was glad about it. I knew he’d be suspicious from my reaction, and I wasn’t sure if I could lie to his face. What should have concerned me was his lack of talking about his girlfriend. In the past I’d never found it unusual that he only mentioned them when they pissed him off, but I should have realized far before that there were other reasons he never brought them up. I smiled up at him as we stood at my apartment door after the night was over.

  “This was nice,” Bobby said into my ear as he lowered his body towards mine, and my arms went around his shoulders naturally.

  “It really was,” I admitted. “I always miss you when hockey season gets into the swing of things.”

  “You could come with me,” he suggested, his nose tucked into my hair.

  I pulled away slowly, my hands on his biceps. I was thrust into the reality of exactly why he never mentioned his girlfriends.

  Me… it was always me.

  “What about Tara?” I asked.

  I knew somehow we were back at square one. My heart was pattering out of control, because the hope that Adam and I might actually be able to be a couple in public was quickly drifting away.

  Bobby looked down at me, and his chest rose as he let a deep breath out.

  “She’s great…”

  “Oh, no you don’t! Don’t give me a but at the end of that sentence,” I demanded as I pushed myself out of his arms to cross my own.

  Bobby gave me one of those Beckerson Boy smiles; the one that made it so they could never do any wrong in any girl’s eyes. Except mine— I’d known them long enough to know better. That smile meant one thing—trouble.

  “Night, River.” He ignored my question as he leaned down, taking my chin in his hand and kissing my cheek.

  “Bobby!” I yelled at his back as he opened his apartment door in two steps.

  He looked over his shoulder and winked, sending the pattering of my heart to a complete stand still as I swore at him in my head.

  Then I saw Adam sitting on the couch behind him. His jaw was in a taut line as he stared at the TV, which I knew he wasn’t watching.

  He looked over at me, and his brown eyes accused me of betraying him. I shook my head at both of them as Bobby closed the door.

  I stood there for a moment as I tried to collect my thoughts. Adam had obviously been watching and gotten the wrong impression from the situation. I’d never known him to be jealous, especially not of any one I hung out with, but his eyes showed something different now. The thing that bothered me the most was the lack of trust I saw there.

  Chapter 34

  I looked up at the brick school building Adam worked in and took a deep breath before stepping out of my car. The building was set in a suburb of Boston, one of those ritzy areas where all you saw were Lexus’ and Infinitys. I knew Adam felt out of place when the kids had more expensive clothes than him, but the parents did treat him right. They respected him despite his somewhat rebellious appearance, and I guessed they kind of expected that out of the music teacher. The kids really loved him, and he loved them too. I smiled at the thought as I made my way up the cobblestone steps, past the rose garden and fountain to the front door. I grabbed its oversized handle and tugged it to find the secretary behind a wall of glass smiling at me.

  “River?” she guessed, and I nodded with a confused expression. “Adam has a few pictures of you on his desk.”

  “Ah,” I said with a nod. “So would I be able to come in?”

  “Sure thing, you just need to sign in here.” She pointed at the clipboard that barely fit out the hole she passed it through.
<
br />   I passed it back, and she slid me a badge.

  “Keep this on your person at all times. You’ll need to return it before you leave,” she said as she buzzed me in the door.

  “Of course,” I said as I slid the lanyard over my head. “What room?”

  “212. Go up the stairs, third door on the right,” she answered.

  I nodded and headed in the direction she instructed. It was eerie how quiet it was, and I felt the whole school could hear my heels clinking against the marble floor.

  When I got to door 212 it was covered in musical notes and symbols I never bothered to learn. I only ever memorized the chords Adam taught me and never actually bothered to learn how to read the sheet music.

  I looked through the wired pane of glass to see Adam’s back facing me. He was sitting on a chair with a keyboard in front of him as he moved his arms to whatever he was explaining. The children sat on various bean bags on the floor, chins in their hands as they listened in rapt attention.

  I wanted to stay there and watch him teach without him knowing I was there, but I knew eventually one of the children would notice. I raised my hand and tapped on the door—another loud noise against the silent hallway.

  Adam looked over his shoulder with a surprised expression that instantly turned into a wide smile. He held up one finger to his class and headed towards me.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked as he opened the door.

  “What? A girl can’t visit her boyfriend at work?” I asked.

  “I just wasn’t expecting you,” he replied.

  “I wanted to come see you and make sure you were okay.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, but his eyes were avoiding me.

  “You gave me a death stare last night.”

  Adam shrugged. “I saw Bobby hugging you, and I know him…he wasn’t being Friendly-Bobby he was being I-Love-River-Bobby.”

  I laughed at the expression. “And what was I being?”

  “Best-Friend-River,” he answered with an adjustment of his vest buttons.