Defiance (Heart Lines Series Book 5)

by Heather Hildenbrand

  I hesitated. “She’s on a break from healing until the merging.” He nodded. Sam and Safar had explained the merging as Koby had inhaled three TV dinners. Everyone had agreed to help however they could, and I was damn glad for it—but I wasn’t sure how much that would matter if we couldn’t get the witches together to help ground Sam. It felt like she was drifting further and further away. A little shoulder pain was nothing compared to losing her.

  “Understandable,” Breck said simply, and I knew he was thinking the same thing.

  “I can still kick your ass if that’s what you’re asking,” I added. He snorted but then rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully, and I knew there was more to it. “What is it?” I asked, instantly serious.

  “Whatever Sam saw in that vision … it wasn’t the full scope of RJ’s plan. Which means we still need to know it.” I nodded.

  “True. But Edie can’t afford to put guys on it. Not while all hands are busy cleaning up supernatural messes.”

  “Right. But she did clear us to help,” he said. My brows shot up. “Unofficially, of course.”

  “Of course.”

  Breck’s hands fisted and he stared at the others, his eyes glazed over with a look I knew all too well: the look of someone gunning for action. “Someone needs to lay eyes on that prick and keep him in our sights until we’re ready to deal with him for good.”

  “You want to be that someone.”

  Breck hesitated, shooting me a sideways glance. “Edie already cleared it,” he admitted.

  A lingering shot of jealousy speared through me. Once upon a time, I would have been the go-to for a mission like that. In the span of a few months, I’d been replaced, and for a split second I was terrified of what that meant for me. For Edie. But then I looked over at Sam again and caught a half-smile she flashed at a joke Brittany had made, and the jealousy disappeared. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

  But still.

  Who was I if I didn’t protect the human world? How did I even fit into all this beyond taking bullets for strangers or slaying rabid werewolves? Even as I thought it, I cursed myself for the thought. Taking bullets for the woman I loved was plenty. I didn’t need more than that. More than her.

  She was more than enough, and I knew deep down she always would be.

  “You talk to Sam about it yet?” I asked.

  “Wanted to run it by you first.”

  That made me turn to look at him, and I was surprised to find an unspoken request in his arched brows. “What is it?” I asked.

  “If I go, someone will need to take over the team.”

  Now, my brows shot up. “Team?” I echoed, not letting the warm rush of friendship show on my face. “Is that what this is? I thought you guys were babysitting an asset while you waited to be reinstated.”

  Breck shook his head. “We have our orders. Straight from the top. They’re need-to-know so if anyone asks, you’re still out. But … we’re with you, man. Edie is too. I think getting us all back together is her way of showing it.”

  I realized what he meant. That in order to do this, we were going to have to stay on the outside of CHAS. “And the board?” I asked, unable to ignore everything he wasn’t saying. “Where do they stand on Sam and what we’re doing here?”

  Breck sighed. “You know how they feel about witches.”

  I muttered just exactly what I thought of those feelings, and Breck echoed his full agreement.

  Across the lawn, Sam and Harold joined hands and then everyone else followed suit, creating a circle around the broken tree. Sam guided Harold’s hand in hers and together they touched their palms to the tree trunk. My breath caught at the idea of Sam doing magic now, but then their words reached me and I relaxed.

  “They’re having a funeral for a tree,” Breck said, clearly uncertain how to respond.

  “Harold’s the kind of guy that inspires strange behavior,” I said, choosing my words carefully.

  Breck snorted and simply continued to watch.

  One by one, everyone in the group went around the circle and took a turn giving thanks for what the tree provided them. When it was Sam’s turn, the air heated and charged as she spoke about gratitude for safe passage and protection and wisdom. And I knew it wasn’t just Sam speaking anymore. I tensed, but forced myself to let it go. Harold’s expression shone with joy through grief at Sam’s words. And I knew I had to let it happen. The guy had sacrificed a hell of a lot already and we still needed him. But my muscles stayed tense as Sam’s eyes closed and her mouth fell slack when she’d finished talking.

  Harold whispered words I couldn’t hear.

  The group swayed together in silence.

  Brittany’s eyes opened and she looked at me and then Breck with wide eyes and clenched jaw. Something magical was happening. I just couldn’t figure out who was doing it. The force of the magic hit me and I knew. This wasn’t a funeral anymore. It was a resurrection.

  For a moment, panic clawed at me, and I had to stop myself twice from going over and interrupting the whole attempt.

  My heart raced—

  But then, slowly, the tree’s trunk began to change. I watched as it turned from a charcoal color to a rich brown once again. The blood-bark receded. Harold smiled at the sight of it. Still, Sam didn’t move and I felt panic rise in my gut. Before I could go to her, Safar was there, laying a hand on Sam’s arm and murmuring softly. Sam’s lids fluttered and when she opened her eyes, she was looking directly at me.

  Our gazes held across the grass.

  Nearby, the fountain trickling was the only sound. Everyone else had stopped talking to look back and forth between us. The space between my heart and lungs felt overly full—but I was too damned relieved she’d come back from wherever she’d just gone to worry about it.

  “It’s time to go home,” I announced and Sam sagged, dipping her head and breathing deeply.

  Harold stood up and Safar helped Sam to her feet, hugging her and thanking her profusely. Brittany and Koby jumped up too but rather than hugging everyone goodbye, they stood resolute. I noticed three bags sitting in the grass not far from where we stood and gave Breck a questioning glance. He grinned.

  “You guys should get back inside before CHAS notices you’re gone,” Sam said.

  “Are you kidding?” Brittany said. “We’re not staying here.”

  “We’re going with you,” Koby said.

  Sam stared at them both, dumbfounded.

  “Sam, shut your jaw and stop acting like you didn’t expect it,” Brittany scolded. I felt my lips curving. She had a point. “We’re a team and we’re not leaving you to handle this merging business on your own. Harold, that okay with you?”

  “The more the merrier,” Harold said, grinning and still stroking his newly healed tree.

  Sam smiled too and Brittany grabbed her, pulling her into another hug. Koby went for their bags.

  “So?” Breck prompted quietly while the others talked, and I realized I’d never answered him.

  “Harold can probably take you there,” I said, watching as the last of the blood dried and then disappeared from the tree trunk. Inch by inch, the tree seemed to come back from the brink of wherever it had gone. I watched, amazed and worried at what Sam was able to do. Or if it was Sam at all. I needed five minutes alone with her, but there was nowhere to go.

  Harold opened his eyes and a smile lit his face as he stroked the newly healed tree.

  “But?” Breck prompted.

  I sighed. “I can’t lead the group while you’re gone.”

  “Why not?” Breck asked, surprise coloring his words.

  “Because it’s not for me to lead. It’s for Sam.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sam

  I watched the place where Harold and Breck had stood, waiting with frayed nerves for Harold to return. Alex stood beside me in the dark woods behind Harold’s house, his hand firmly wrapped around mine. Koby, Brittany, and Safar had returned to Harold’s house as soon as we’d arriv
ed from the safe house. Safar to strengthen the wards and Brittany to guard them while we sent Breck to Mount Shasta. Brittany had hugged me thirteen times at least since we’d reunited earlier tonight, and I didn’t mind her enthusiasm. I was just as relieved to find her alive and not behind bars as she was about me.

  But I had serious qualms about sending Breck so close to the enemy. Unfortunately, my arguments had fallen on deaf ears—and I finally realized what it felt like for him, taking on a mission that involved putting his sister in danger—and then being helpless to protect her.

  I also thought I understood why he didn’t tell me and my parents what he really did. Or what he really was. The worry it would cause wasn’t going to help protect us any more than keeping us in the dark. In fact, keeping us safe from knowing how dangerous the world really could be probably offered him a little bit of comfort. And that was a big deal when every single day was so full of danger and death. Maybe I was starting to understand my big brother after all.

  “He’s going to be fine.”

  Alex’s voice startled me, and I jumped, exhaling before I answered. “I know.”

  Alex was silent and tense beside me. I’d felt it from the moment I’d come out of that vision, but there hadn’t been time to talk. Or maybe I was avoiding it.

  “You saw something bad in that vision didn’t you?”

  “I saw a lot of things,” I hedged.

  “You know what I mean.”

  I did know what he meant, but I avoided his eyes and stared obstinately ahead at the tree Harold had used to transport Breck. The sorrow I still felt at what I’d seen in those visions made me shaky, and I still couldn’t seem to find the words.

  “I thought we were past the point of keeping secrets.”

  Guilt sliced through me cleaner than any knife. I tore my gaze from the tree, but still couldn’t quite meet his stare. “We are.”

  “Then tell me.” His words were a pleading that tugged at me, but I couldn’t figure out how to give him what he wanted without hurting him.

  “Is it Hina? Is she still too big inside you?”

  She stirred at the sound of her name, and I couldn’t lie to him. “She’s much more present than she was,” I admitted and a look of fear transformed his expression. I squeezed his hand. “But I’m still here,” I added, reaching up to run my fingers over the stubble along his jawline. “I’m still me.”

  “Promise?” he asked in a strangled voice.

  I reached up and planted a kiss on the edge of his worried mouth. “Promise.”

  “Then tell me what you saw.”

  The forest around us seemed stiller than a moment ago, the branches overhead bending low as if even they were leaning in to hear my answer. I sighed and finally dragged my gaze to Alex. He was watching me with concern and the same silent desperation I’d sensed on RJ’s roof that night when he’d pleaded with me to give him another chance. He’d been so honest and vulnerable with me that night. It was the least I could do to offer him the same now.

  “I saw RJ,” I said finally and Alex’s gaze hardened.

  “What about him?”

  “I saw him and Indra on a beach together. And there were … bodies. Two women, both stabbed to death.”

  “Who were they?”

  “I think they were RJ’s family,” I said. “I think I was watching him summon Ea from the ocean. They were a sacrifice of some kind. The blood … He needed it to complete the spell.”

  I shuddered.

  Alex reached out and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me against him. “I know.”

  “You do?” I asked, surprised enough to stop the flow of tears. I looked up at him, still inside the circle of his arms.

  “I wondered. The house clearly hadn’t been lived in for some time. A lot longer than he claimed his mom had been gone. And there was no real evidence of a woman there. It was cold. Used. Like a tool for something. But not a home. And definitely not a place for a woman who wanted to protect her children from the world of werewolves and Hunters like he claimed.”

  “You mean the healing room,” I said.

  “For starters, yes.” His mouth thinned into a hard line and his eyes were like hot granite. “Those jars of sea creatures Mirabelle mentioned. Dead eels. Shark teeth. All creatures belonging to Ea—god of the ocean.” He dropped his head. “I should have seen it.”

  I laid a comforting hand over his heart, steadied by the thud of his pulse there. “We all missed it,” I told him. “Not just you. Even Hina.”

  The moment I spoke the words, something inside me lurched and I groaned, clutching my stomach as I doubled over.

  “Sam?”

  Alex crouched beside me, his hand holding my hair back, and I fell in love with him just a little more for that. Even though I was also mortified that I might have to vomit yet again in front of him. Throwing up in front of the guy you had the hots for was not the best way to start a relationship. But then, nothing about our relationship was normal or ideal.

  “I’m okay,” I said, breathing deeply as I willed the contents of my stomach to stay inside my body.

  “What is it?” he asked when I finally straightened again.

  “Hina.” I smiled wryly. “She didn’t like me pointing out her mistake.”

  Alex frowned, clearly unamused. “Sam, she’s getting stronger. I don’t want you to lose yourself.”

  “I’m dealing with it,” I said.

  He glared. “I think we both know you’re not dealing well. Do I have to remind you about those episodes you had back at RJ’s?”

  “No,” I hissed. “I don’t want to—”

  “I haven’t told anyone,” he cut me off. “And I won’t. But … I need to be able to help you. Tell me what else you saw.”

  “After RJ’s summoning, I don’t know. It was confusing,” I told him honestly. “The visions kept changing. Like a thousand possible outcomes, each one different based on our choices.”

  “Ours,” he repeated. “Not RJ’s?”

  I shook my head. “RJ’s path is decided. He’s gone north to hide until the equinox. Whatever power he gave to Indra is his again and he’ll have to merge now too. Kiwi and Mirabelle were right. The mountain will offer the grounding he needs to do it.”

  “And the witches will offer yours,” he said, and I knew he meant to comfort me, but it only reminded me of the last part of my vision.

  My shoulders sagged, and I blinked back more tears.

  “What is it?”

  “There was one more scene,” I said slowly, hating yet knowing I had to tell him. “Another beginning.”

  “Ea?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I saw a woman and her young son standing in the Obupa. Sushna was there.”

  Alex went absolutely still, staring unblinking into my eyes. I tried not to think too hard as I described what I’d seen. “She offered Sushna a gift or payment for something. A crystal. But Sushna refused. She wanted … something else. And the woman, the boy’s mother, wouldn’t give it. They argued and the mother and boy left without whatever they’d come for.”

  I stopped there, waiting, but Alex didn’t say a word. He barely breathed and even though he stared at me, I knew he wasn’t here. He was in some other place, in some other time. I looked back to the dark woods where we waited for Harold, my eyes blurring with tears.

  “Amethyst.”

  The word was spoken so softly, I almost missed it. I looked up sharply and found his eyes brimming with moisture too. “Yes,” I whispered.

  “She’d wrapped it in a silk cloth that I kept wanting to use to blow my nose. She finally caved and gave it to me and carried the amethyst openly the rest of the way in.”

  My eyes pooled with tears, but Alex was resolute. “What else did you see?”

  I forced my voice to work. “The woman was afraid after that,” I said, unable to use the words “your mother” to describe her just yet. It felt too personal. More painful somehow. “I saw a meeting with Jin. The woman being re
ad. But not—not for her family.”

  Alex’s breath caught. “For what then?”

  “She wanted to know what would happen if she didn’t make the sacrifice.”

  “What sacrifice?”

  “For the merge,” I said quietly.

  Alex closed his eyes, his features pinched, and he fell to his knees. I dropped down beside him but didn’t reach for him. Not yet. Not until I’d said it all.

  “She never merged did she?” he asked finally, his voice hoarse.

  I hesitated because this was the part I knew would hurt him most. But not telling him would hurt more. And I’d meant what I said before. I was done with keeping secrets. “Actually, the merge happened once her sacrifice was made, but it wasn’t her own. She wasn’t trying to merge herself.”

  He blinked up at me, shock registering.

  I pressed on. “Your mother didn’t die from over- or under-using magic, Alex. She sacrificed herself in order to allow someone else’s merge to occur. Yours.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Alex

  My blood boiled in my veins while all around me, a cool breeze shook the trees. How was it possible to look so fucking calm on the outside and be such a shit-storm inside? I concentrated on breathing and pumped my fists open and closed. Was this what it was like to have a panic attack? Was that what happened when there was no one around worthy of being on the receiving end of overwhelming anger and grief?

  I really needed to kill someone. Or see a therapist. Unfortunately, neither option was available to me right now. Whiskey might be a good alternative, but I hadn’t drank since I’d been terminal and a hangover now that I was going to live—and wanted to—just didn’t seem like nearly as much fun.

  “Alex, tell me what you need.”

  Sam’s voice was close in the darkness, but I could barely see her past the red of the rage that burned behind my eyes. The thing I wanted most in the entire world was to kill the Witherer. Or maybe to get my mother back. To tell her the sacrifice wasn’t worth it. But what did I need? I had no fucking clue.