White Lies and Other Half Truths

by Barbara Tiller Cole

  "Oh, my love, I so look forward to our joining as man and wife. And yes, my body is prepared for that, but it will not happen now. You are not ready for that. You deserve for your first time to be in a bedchamber, in which there is every comfort and absolutely no chance of discovery,” Darcy explained.

  Elizabeth shyly cocked her eye towards him and asked, "Can I see it?"

  Both of his eyebrows rose as he thought, Good God, it is going to be delightful to be married to this woman. My plan is most assuredly working. He calmed his thoughts and said, "Not today, my love, but know that I am quite delighted by your curiosity," and he very lightly chuckled. They gazed adoringly at each other.

  He slowly negotiated their recline from leaning against the log to lying supine on the blanket. Darcy adoringly ran his finger along her face and then along her lips, while from time to time, she would attempt to nip his finger.

  "Sweet Elizabeth, are you quite well?" he asked.

  She smiled a smile that filled his heart so full it brought tears to his eyes. "Oh yes, William. I am very well, indeed."

  He rolled them over so she was on her back and he was on his side, propped up on his elbow. He began moving his fingers from the side of her face and along her neck, and slowly along the edge of her gown, down along the precious skin towards her breast, and then back up again. Each trip down brought his hand a little closer to those creamy, luscious mounds that he longed to taste.

  With a deep, seductive voice, he said, "If at any point you feel fear, you must stop me, my love. I wish only to bring you pleasure today. I intend to do so without you or me having to disrobe. Please ask any questions you might have. Also, if there is something you really like, please tell me as well. If you cannot ask me in words, then your body’s reactions will tell me what you like. You are not to hold them back, do you understand? I delight in knowing I can raise your passion. Is that all right with you, Lizzy?"

  "Oh, yes, William." She relaxed a bit and let herself give into his ministrations.

  On the next trip, Darcy's fingers moved all the way down her neckline, very lightly dipping into the valley between her two mounds. He was entranced as he traced along her bounteous breasts. If he was being honest with himself, he had first noted her breasts, even before her eyes.

  When Darcy's hand had first crossed the fabric, inching towards her breast, for just a second, Lizzy had a moment of panic. But she managed to push it down. He had told her he would stop should she wish it. He had told her he would give her pleasure without either of them disrobing. Yes, she would trust him.

  Darcy flattened his hand and cupped her breast. For both of them, it was a sensational experience. Darcy knew he was getting closer and closer to accomplishing his desire. For Elizabeth, it was the awakening of the next step in her passion.

  Darcy ministered to her breast through her clothes. His fingers traced circles around and around her breast, and alternated with squeezing lightly. He came closer and closer to her nipple on each circle, and Elizabeth's body involuntarily arched as a low moan escaped her throat. As soon as he reached what he thought was the edge of her nipple, he traced very light circles around the edge of her aureole, and watched as her ripe bud bloomed into hardness through her gown.

  In reality, he was salivating. It took everything in him not to lower her gown and suckle the pert tip he had caused to ripen. That was not the lesson for today. He had promised to go slow. He had told her they would remain clothed, and he intended to honour his promise.

  When he began to pinch her nipples, her moans became gasps. William rejoiced in her blooming arousal! He leaned down to kiss her, fully and deeply, as he moved his hand to her other breast. His tongue slowly began to mimic the motions that his manhood was yet restraining. She arched against him again as his fingers pinched her other ripe bud, and her arms wrapped around his neck as her fingers slid up into his hair.

  Elizabeth’s excitement was so great that she moved her arms down to his waist and pulled him towards her. Involuntarily, he found himself rolling on top of her. Both of them knew the moment his manhood pressed against her apex. Her instincts had already taught her to open her thighs wider to allow him atop of her.

  To say Darcy was shocked was an understatement! This was not his plan, and things were spiraling out of his control as he felt Elizabeth arch towards him.

  Elizabeth experienced a rush through her entire body. She felt dampness within her secret place, and a surge of heat from her head to her toes. She had never imagined that she could experience such sensual joy.

  Darcy was near ecstasy, but he knew he could not allow himself to find release. He could not compromise her. He would not. Yet he could not stop. His hand traced a path down between their bodies from her breast, down her stomach to her bellybutton, dipping his finger into the hollow and tracing around the edge. Then his journey resumed, a journey with a most particular destination.

  When he arrived at her mound, he cupped her sex through her dress and small clothes. Her moans and gasps were increasing as he approximated the location of her pearl. Their hips began to move of their own volition. This was for her. This became a meditative thought as his rhythmic pressing against her apex increased. Words flowed from his mouth that he could not control. "This is for you my love, all for you, for you my love. Let go, Lizzy, my Luscious Lizzy. Let go, let go."

  Elizabeth did not really know what he meant by letting go, but she felt like she was flying. Soaring toward new heights, higher and higher, she was being carried on the wings of an eagle. And as the eagle reached its highest heights, it swooped with her towards the ground as she reached her pleasure, and a voice she had never heard before screamed, "Oh! William!"

  Darcy had not allowed himself to find his pleasure. He knew that he needed to get himself under good regulation. He turned over onto his back and pulled her to his side. He was disturbed with himself and thought, Things are moving too fast! Good God, how did I ever think that I could control passion, could meticulously plan these lessons. I was out of my depth from the start!

  As he often did when he needed to cool his ardour, he thought through his catalogue of thoughts guaranteed to cool his arousal. He thought of his parents’ deaths, his loneliness and Georgiana's face crying, his Aunt Catherine and his friend's ridiculous sister, even his wife-to-be’s mother. It served his purpose. His desire flagged, and his love for Elizabeth swelled.

  Their breathing and heartbeats slowed, and Elizabeth turned towards Darcy with a joy-filled smile lighting her entire face.

  Darcy spoke first. “Elizabeth, I am sorry, my love. I did not mean for things to go so far.”

  “Do I look like I am complaining, sir?”

  “No, you look like you have experienced your first full bloom of passion. Are you all right, my love?” He asked as the back of his fingers moved along her cheek.

  “Oh, William, I am wonderful. But was that what I felt, the bloom of passion as you called it?”

  “Yes, I believe it was. You have felt a pinnacle of pleasure, of passion. It is a release that is given to us as a gift from God, as a part of the act of marriage,” Darcy said frankly as he pulled her tight against his chest, and again tucked her head into his neck.

  “Well, if that is the gift in the act of marriage, I cannot understand why my mother and her friends complain about it so.”

  “Well, my love, all women do not experience it when the act is performed. As I said before, it is up to the man whether the woman has as pleasurable experience as he does.”

  “But, you did not have that same experience? Did you William?”

  “It matters not, Lizzy. I rejoice in your experience. I love you very much.”

  “And I love you, William.” With a raised brow, she asked, "Did you call me Luscious Lizzy, sir?"

  “Oh, did I say that out loud?” Darcy countered, looking away, a little embarrassed.

  “Yes, you did, William.”

  "Then my answer is, most certainly, my love, luscious indeed. Lusci
ous Lizzy." He kissed her again.

  “Am I allowed to come up with a nickname for you as well?” she inquired in between kisses.

  “You may call me anything you like, my love,” as he kissed her again.

  Chapter 9

  4 December 1811

  Fitzwilliam Darcy returned to Netherfield after his morning with Lizzy. The post had arrived in his absence. He took it and decided to return to his chambers to review his mail and, if he was honest, to be sure that he avoided Miss Bingley. He was suspicious of her, but he could not really point his finger at any particularly event or reason for his suspicion. As she was Charles Bingley’s sister, he was attempting to deal with her in a civil manner, but his patience was beginning to wear thin.

  So it was that he settled in to review his mail. As he separated his business correspondence from his personal, he found a letter from his sister.

  Darcy House

  2 December 1811

  Dear Brother,

  I hope you made it back to Netherfield safely, and that your reunion with Miss Bennet was all you anticipated. I wanted to tell you again how happy I am you are to marry.

  William, I have been worried about you for so long. You had so much responsibility put on you when Father died, and have handled it admirably. I could not be prouder to call you brother. But I have sensed that you were lonely, and had no one to turn to when you needed help and comfort. I am grateful that you no longer have to be alone.

  I know that I have been a trial to you, and I want to again ask for your forgiveness. I know you deserve every happiness. I am grateful you have found a woman that you love. I know that has always been your wish. I am grateful that by waiting, and avoiding all the matchmaking mamas of the ton, you have managed to find what you wholeheartedly desired. I know that Mother and Father would have been happy for you as well.

  Please give Miss Bennet my regards, and let her know how grateful I am to soon have a sister. I will be travelling with Richard and his parents to Netherfield three days prior to your wedding. I long to see you. I am,

  Sincerely yours, etc.

  G. D.

  *~*~*~*~*

  Darcy thoughts drifted to contemplating how his Lizzy’s liveliness had helped lift him out of a heaviness of spirit. How he hoped that it would help Georgiana as well! He looked forward to introducing the two of them.

  If anyone could have seen him at that exact moment, with the exception of his family and Lizzy, they would not have recognized him. His face was relaxed, a smile of complete joy accentuating his dimples. He looked like a young man of eighteen again.

  Darcy had never anticipated feeling this much contentment and happiness. He now believed he had never been happy before, not truly happy, for he was near giddiness with his love for Lizzy. He was in love. Me! Fitzwilliam Darcy! Only two weeks before he had been stuck in a life of loneliness and emptiness, and (in an instant) Lizzy had changed all of that.

  Darcy contemplated, Hmmm, what a joyful morning. But why did I ever think I could control the progress of passion? While Darcy was thrilled with his progress in educating the pert Miss Bennet, he was also quite disturbed. His behaviour had not been that of a gentleman. He knew that. His plan did not include joining as man and wife prior to their wedding. He knew he could not trust himself if Lizzy again took the initiative as she had today.

  He lay back on his bed, remembering the morning. Without realizing it, his musing caused him to become erect.

  She is more beautiful each time I see her. I wonder if she is truly growing more beautiful, or if in my knowing her more intimately she is more beautiful to me. Her blooming passion is a wonder. To have been able to move her from fear to release in such a short time… oh… she is indeed a most worthy student. After we are married, I will let her borrow the book I received from Richard. After all, she is proficient at improving her mind by extensive reading. Perhaps we will look at the book together, and discover new positions we would like to try. Hmm, I believe I will enjoy that indeed. Darcy had not found release earlier, and could no longer stop from taking matters into his own hands.

  Today, her eyes were wide and aglow as she came to her pleasure. Her breasts were swelling, and the sounds she allowed to escape… her gasps and moans as she got closer and closer. Her skin grew warmer and brighter as she took her pleasure. Her scent, yes I love her scent. She smelled of lavender today. Sometimes she smells of roses, but today it was lavender. His breathing became faster and his face flushed. He moaned in memory and as the sounds were leaving his lips, he continued to think of Lizzy.

  To think, I touched and teased her breasts until her ripe buds were protruding, hard and erect through her light muslin gown. Oh, how I wanted to take each nipple into my mouth and suckle. Ah, yes indeed. And her moans and gasps of pleasure as I teased her nipples. The flush upon her chest as her pleasure grew. Darcy was back on top of her in his mind, rubbing against her, mimicking the process of mating. All the while, he continued to stroke himself. He lost all rational thought as he increased his strokes to a frenzied pace as his release began spiralling upon him. He groaned quite loudly in his pleasure, and gasped her name, “Lizzy.”

  *~*~*~*~*

  At almost the same time, Elizabeth entered her chambers at Longbourn and locked the door. She wanted some time to herself, wanted to be able to think over her breakfast picnic and her growing intimacy with William.

  On the way home from their glen, they had spoken of wedding details. Lizzy told him her mother had insisted on her spending the next day with the family as she had fittings to attend to, as well as a need to spend some time with her family before the wedding.

  William told her when the members of his family were to arrive, and mentioned how anxious he was for Lizzy to get to know Georgiana. Lizzy had questioned him about the other members of his family, and was pleased to hear that thus far all had been pleased for him, except for Lady Catherine.

  Darcy told her more of the wish of his aunt and his mother for him to marry his cousin Anne. Lizzy had learned about the financial considerations, as well as familial reasons, that the two matriarchs formulated this plan. She had also learned that in no way had William ever considered the match, and that his cousin had never been inclined to marry him either. Lizzy found herself quite grateful that this plan had not resulted in a marriage, for she could no longer imagine herself ever being happy with another.

  She could see her fiancé in her mind’s eye. And remembered the events of the morning. Oh, my word, I never imagined I could feel such pleasure, such excitement, and such ecstasy! And William tells me that it will get better! I shall die indeed! Oh, God! I believe William is truly the most handsome man that I have ever seen. His eyes, his lips, oh, and his mouth so warm and wet! I could get lost in the sensations of his mouth. And when he was pressing against me, I had no idea that I could experience such excitement. He said that our passion was what prepares us to join as man and wife. She giggled a little; I cannot believe I asked if I could see him!! I am mortified, but he did not seem upset. I wonder what he really thought when I said that?

  He seems to quite like my curiosity. But I still wonder what it looks like. I have changed nappies for my Aunt Gardiner’s son, Harold, but he was only a little boy... William said that his becomes engorged and gets hard to prepare him to enter me.

  Lizzy began to contemplate all that she did not yet know… and better yet, what she would soon experience. Maybe there is something in father’s library that will tell me more. Why am I so curious? It is only a matter of days before we wed. I have never had such thoughts as these in my life! Yet I long to know more. In truth, Lizzy had always enjoyed reading. Broadening her understanding was something she had always sought. She reckoned her desire for learning all she could of marital relations should not have been any different. It was with that thought that she began to prepare for dinner, in hopes of arriving at her father’s library before he returned from his chambers.

  *~*~*~*~*

  That afternoon,
Fanny Bennet had taken the opportunity to retreat to her chambers. She had been quite busy with the furious pace that she had kept in order to prepare Elizabeth’s wedding in less than a week’s time. However, this afternoon, Fanny had begun to contemplate what it would mean for Elizabeth to become a part of the Darcy family.

  Her daughter, Mistress of Pemberley! She would never have believed it could have been so! She had met the former Mistress of Pemberley, Lady Anne Darcy, when she raveled with Mr. Bennet to Pemberley to visit his friend George. Lady Anne was everything that Fanny was not. She was blonde, she was titled, came from a noble family, and she was very rich.

  For too many years now, Fanny had compared herself to rich women of the ton. She would never measure up to the ideal she had created in her own mind. She knew that.

  But on this day, she began to contemplate how her life might have been different if she had not denied her husband her bed for so many years. Theirs had eventually evolved into little more than a marriage of convenience. It was quite sad, for Fanny Gardiner had been very much in love with Tom Bennet. Had she discovered this regret too late? Was there a way to change the sad state of her marriage as it was today? Did she even want to try?

  *~*~*~*~*

  Tom Bennet sat at his desk and thought over the events of the last fortnight. After all these years, he would be connected to the Darcys as family. He knew George would have been ecstatic with the match—Tom’s favourite daughter and George’s only son. George had never wanted to give in to the machinations of Catherine and her desire to connect the Darcys to the de Bourghs.