White Lies and Other Half Truths

by Barbara Tiller Cole

  He found Jane and Mr. Bingley in the front parlour, chatting happily about their new life to come. He had already spoken of Jane’s dowry with Mr. Bingley. As they were alone, he took the opportunity to discuss with them the break of the entail, and how that would affect them.

  It was a happy Christmas celebration as dinner came, all assembled sat to partake of a Christmas feast. Presents were exchanged after dinner was complete, and all experienced music and gaiety.

  Mr. Bennet ended the day determined to speak to his wife on the morrow, and begin to make restitution for the withdrawal of his admiration. He was resolute in making every effort to nourish the seed of love for his wife, and allow them a chance, as he had never done before.

  *~*~*~*~*

  In Fanny’s chamber she discovered a book that her daughter, she assumed, had left on her bed. She found, again, that she quite enjoyed expanding her mind by extensive reading. She was studying long into the night.

  Chapter 25

  In the dawn of early morning, within a huge bed in the Master’s Chamber at Pemberley, Lizzy was contemplating the changes and the challenges in her life. So much had changed since her father had found she and her now-husband in an embrace. More importantly, she remembered the precious gift that came with honesty and truth.

  William’s warm, naked body was spooned against hers, as it had been each night of their wedded bliss as they slept. It was most convenient as they often awoke from their slumber to delight in each other’s flesh.

  She giggled and William awoke and kissed her bare shoulder. “Lizzy, are you happy, my dearest? What cheery thought awakens you with laughter on this Boxing Day?”

  Turning around and looking deeply into his eyes she said, “Oh, I was only meditating on the prodigious good that has come into my life since you followed me into the library at Netherfield.”

  “I agree with you, my love. We are very lucky to have found the ability to be honest with each other. You know the consequences of lies are not always so positive.”

  “You are right, of course. But our openness with each other, and ability to tease other into telling the complete truth will serve us quite well throughout our marriage, do you not think?”

  “I do, indeed. I believe many marriages could be vastly improved if both parties were willing to be honest with each other. White lies and secrets never bode well in a marriage. I do not think we will have the same problems that many others have. Can you imagine what might have happened had we married after the incident at Netherfield and not been able to openly talk with each other?”

  “I would most likely still be terrified of you and marital relations, and would most definitely not be in your arms—bare and exposed to your adoring eyes.”

  “Yes, my dear, and if I had my preference you would remain unclothed at all times. But speaking of such reminds me...” Darcy’s words trailed off as he kissed her languorously, which fanned the flames of their newly discovered intimacy to the point where words were no longer necessary.

  *~*~*~*~*

  Boxing Day had started out pleasantly. Over breakfast the entire family met for a scrumptious breakfast, and Elizabeth and Georgiana left to deliver packages to the tenants of Pemberley as the rest of the party sought a variety of entertainments.

  “Elizabeth, I cannot tell you what a gift you have given to me. To see my brother so happy is more than I could ever have imagined,” Georgiana said to her new sister as they began their journey.

  “Georgiana, you are quite kind, but I find it is your brother that has made me more contented than I could ever have anticipated. I am also quite delighted with my new sister. I do not believe I could find a better or a finer woman anywhere,” Elizabeth said as she reached over to squeeze Georgiana’s hands.

  Georgiana dropped her eyes to her lap. “Oh Elizabeth, I fear I am not fine at all. I am so ashamed. I do not know if I can ever make it up to Fitzwilliam. I hurt him so,” she said as she trailed off.

  “Georgiana, I need you to know that William and I share everything,” Elizabeth said quite gently trying to peer down to catch Georgiana’s eyes.

  “You know,” Georgiana whispered as she glanced up into Elizabeth’s eyes.

  “Yes, dear. I know about you and Mr. Wickham. I have for sometime, and believe me; you do not need to make anything up to William. He blames himself for not taking better care of you, and not trusting you enough to tell you of his history with that man,” Elizabeth exclaimed.

  Elizabeth continued, “That man was despicable! He sought you out and deceived you only to hurt your brother. He is quite the master of intrigue. You do not know this, but he once deceived me as well. He told me quite a story about your brother, and I believed him. His lies, his horrible lies about your brother! Do not distress yourself any longer, Georgiana. We, your brother and I, hold you in the highest regard. No one other than your cousin Richard knows of this. And no one ever needs to know. If anyone even saw you in Ramsgate and mentions it, you can say that Mr. Wickham was raised at Pemberley and was always like a brother to you.”

  “But, Elizabeth, he was not like a brother to me then,” Georgiana said as she blushed. “I truly did not know myself, I still do not trust myself! How am I to come out into society this coming year?”

  “Oh, my dear, you need not worry. Your brother and I will be there for you in all that you do. If you do not wish to be come out this next year, you can always wait another. We will not force you, you know,” Elizabeth reassured her.

  “Truly, Elizabeth, I can wait if I wish it?” Georgiana smiled as she said it.

  “Yes, I will make sure of it. You need not be presented until you feel ready. I will make quite sure of that, my dear sister,” Elizabeth said. They proceeded to complete their tasks, chatting about all that was a part of coming out, and whether Georgiana felt up to the task or not. They agreed to continue to talk openly about this subject as well as any that Georgiana supported. The sisters had truly bonded that Boxing Day before they returned to the house.

  *~*~*~*~*

  A little later on, Tom Bennet asked his wife if he might speak with her. They moved back to her chambers to talk.

  Fanny entered and sat by the fire, and Tom began to pace the floor.

  “Fanny, I would like… ah need to… ah talk with you about a number of matters as I know I have not been fair with you these many years,” Mr. Bennet spoke.

  Fanny’s stomach lurched. Somewhere deep within she feared that he might have decided to divorce her. Oh, yes, it would be a disgrace in society. But she did not truly know what he would want to speak to her about. She rung her hands as she worried, but she said, “I am listening, Tom. Please speak to me of whatever you are concerned.”

  “Fanny, our financial situation is not as you have feared. I have recently discovered that with the death of Mr. Collins, there is no other distant Bennet heir. The entail has been broken with the help of our solicitor. If I should pass this earth before you, you will be allowed to remain at Longbourn until your death, and at both of our deaths the estate will be divided amongst our daughters.”

  “Truly, Mr. Bennet? I no longer have to be worried about losing my home? Is it really true?” Fanny smiled in delight.

  “It is true and that is not all. I began to make investments many years ago with the guidance of George Darcy and Edward Fitzwilliam. We are quite comfortable, my dear,” he said as he took her hand. “Our daughters have dowries. I just never informed you that I had provided for you.”

  “You made investments?” Fanny looked at him with a wrinkled brow. “I do not understand, Tom. Just what is your income?”

  “Ah, that has been part of my reticence in telling you, Fanny. You see, I, ah, my income is approximately 20,000 pounds per annum.”

  Mrs. Bennet’s hands went to her cheeks, “Good Lord, Tom, you are more wealthy than Mr. Darcy?”

  “Oh no, my love, for your son-in-law’s annual income is at least three times what is published. He also owns much more property than I.”


  Fanny was so flushed for a moment she thought she might faint, but she did not miss that he had said my love. “Do you mean that Mr. Darcy has 30,000 pounds a year? Oh, Lord, our Lizzy is quite blessed indeed. But then we are as well,” she smiled quite brightly.

  Mr. Bennet had been pacing but moved to her. He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it, “Yes, Fanny we are blessed. I have been most unfair to you to hide this. I did not, still do not want my income made public knowledge, Fanny. Do you understand? Can you imagine the mortification Mr. Darcy has felt all these years when upon entering a room, all he has heard is to half the room speaking of him solely based on his annual income? He has told me that he hated it. I did not want any of us, you and I or any of our daughters, solely to be known by our income,” Tom said as he turned away toward the window.

  Fanny looked at him, and with sudden understanding said, ”And you feared that I would be so silly as to share it with the entire neighbourhood. Am I right, Mr. Bennet?”

  Tom turned to look at her, and for just a minute he saw a much younger Fanny Gardiner. Her head was slightly cocked to the side, and her eyebrow rose with a quizzical look in her eye. “Yes, Fanny. I am sorry to say that you are right. Can you forgive me?”

  Fanny looked at her hands a moment and then up to him, “Oh, Tom, I fear I need your forgiveness as well. I… ah… being back at Pemberley has brought up so many memories. I need you to know that I heard a conversation the day we left here, so many years ago. I know you heard it as well, as I had seen you enter the library. I know why we left here. I know how hurt you were. I know that you were ashamed of me, and had every right to be so. And I… I… I,” Fanny stopped. Could she possibly say this next part?

  “Fanny, please finish. I had no idea you knew of the reason for our separation. Please tell me,” he said gently as he moved back toward her and sat in the seat next to her, looking into her eyes and pleading.

  Fanny looked at her lap, “I know you loved Anne, Tom.”

  Tom looked at the ground. Neither spoke for several minutes.

  “Fanny, I had no idea… I am so sorry… But I can tell you… being here, I have finally let go of that ghost,” he said as he very tentatively reached toward her, and moved her head up to look into his eyes. Both of their eyes questioned the other. “Fanny, can you ever forgive me for hurting you, for ignoring you for oh, so, long… for building a wall… for allowing my heart to close over? I am so, so sorry!”

  They could not continue looking at each other for long. Fanny stood and walked to the window. “Tom, there is more. I hurt so much when we returned from Pemberley, that I chose to close myself off from you. I created the silly, foolish Mrs. Bennet to keep you at arm’s length. At the time, I thought it only a white lie. But it became so much more. She really never existed, you know. But the more I played the role, the more I became her. I found if you thought me silly and foolish, it protected me. I could imagine that was the reason you distanced yourself from me, and not because you loved another.”

  “You need to know I can choose not to be her. I did it for Elizabeth when I knew we would be in the company of the Darcy and Fitzwilliam families for the wedding, and it became easy to be me again. I do not know if you have noticed that I have been somewhat different since Elizabeth’s engagement?

  “I have noticed. I did not know why you had changed. But I did notice,” Tom looked at her, stood, and took a couple steps towards her.

  She was looking out the window now. She could not look at him as she said it. “Can you forgive me?”

  Tom walked to the window to join her. “I would like to try, Fanny. I would like to think we could try and start again. Would you even want to? Do you even want to try and love this foolish old man? I have been stuck believing in a dream that never existed, Fanny. Anne Darcy was not real. She was a figment of my imagination. I would never have been happy with Anne, Fanny. I am not a man that would have withstood the onslaught of the ton. Having all this time to think these last few days, I realize that now. I am grateful for my family, for my lovely daughters, and for my wife,” he again lifted her hand to kiss her fingers gently. They both blushed and turned to look out the window.

  Out in the garden they saw a couple, walking hand in hand. Their heads close together. They turned to each other and kissed deeply, as they held each other tight. They were truly in love. Their daughter, Elizabeth and his godson, Fitzwilliam were the true picture of besotted love. They continued to watch them as they continued to speak.

  “Tom, I wish, oh, how I wish to be them,” she said as she smiled at the sight.

  They saw below a smiling and laughing husband pick up his bride and swing her around in a circle as she giggled. Then she slid down his body as they kissed and then continued to walk.

  “I do not know if we can, Fanny, but I wish it as well. I would like to try and start. Would you allow me to court you, my dear?” Tom turned to her and held out his hand.

  “Yes, Tom, I would quite like for you to court me,” she said as she smiled a youthful, bright, happy smile at him.

  “You look quite lovely today, my dear,” Tom said as he looked down to her with a wide smile.

  “Tom, you know, I remember we used to read books together. I have a book that I would like to share with you…”

  THE END