Rock Me Deep

by Nora Flite

  Even in sleep, she draws me in.

  Her next soft, sad mumble deflated my arousal. She jerked violently, her muscles exerting energy, her eyelids fluttering as the nightmare took her. When her lips parted, I realized she was talking to herself. I strained my ears in the almost-darkness.

  “No,” she pleaded, “Don't leave me. Please.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I gripped her hips. I won't ever leave you. Never.

  Those beautiful lips twisted again. “Please stay... Sean.”

  I stopped breathing.

  In this late hour, the girl I loved—loved—was fighting devils in her mind. This wasn't about me, but the strife she was having with her brother. For a long while she shivered on my chest, the air shaking with her gut-wrenching mumbles. Staring at the ceiling, haunted by those sorrowful whispers, I debated what to do.

  Craning my neck, my probing gaze fell on Lola's bed-side table. There, calling to me with a solution, sat her cellphone on its charger. The decision I was about to make was a heavy one—but for her, I'd do anything.

  Carefully, I guided Lola off of me. She looked peaceful, and still, it killed me to leave her alone. Even so, gathered up her phone in one hand, my jeans in the other. A shadow, I pushed her curtain aside, moving deeper into the bus. No one waited for me in the aisle; I'd heard both Colt and Porter return to their rooms over an hour ago.

  Ducking into my room, I zipped my pants on, then shoved my head through the neck-hole of a hooded sweatshirt. In the darkness, I flipped Lola's phone open.

  It wasn't hard to find Sean's number.

  I typed fast, just my thumb doing the work. It was after two in the morning, there was a strong chance the guy was asleep. Lola's message—my message—was sent. It said 'Meet me outside Belly Up. We need to talk.'

  Clicking the device shut, I shoved it deep in my pocket. Yanking the hood over my head, I drifted out of the bus. There were a few security guards loitering outside, and to their credit, they were still awake. I nodded at them; they let me be. They were there to keep stalkers and groupies out, not to keep me in.

  The Colorado breeze was crisp. I was grateful for my sweatshirt. Hunkering down against the furthest darkened wall of the bar, I looked out on the lot and waited.

  I didn't have to wait long.

  Sean walked my way like a phantom. He must have been awake when I'd sent the text, there was no way he'd have come outside so fast otherwise. The dark grey jacket he wore came into focus. “Lola?" he hissed. "Lola, are you out here?”

  He couldn't see me in the shadows, the street lights were too far away. I curled my fist in his jacket and ripped him closer. He stumbled, struggling against me with a surprised shout. “What the—what the fuck? Who the hell—” My wide hand covered his mouth.

  Wrenching him around, my muscles worked to slam his back against the cold wall.

  Here, no one would see us.

  I knew his eyes had adjusted to the dark when they finally went wide, recognizing who had attacked him. “Shh,” I growled. “Not so loud. Calm down.”

  There was still stiffness in his body when Sean released my forearms. With one more pointed glare, I removed my hand. “What the shit, man?” he asked. “Where's Lola?" His eyebrows went up. "Fuck, did you use her phone to message me? You've got some balls.”

  Ignoring his obvious distress, I said, “You wouldn't have come if you knew it was me. I need to talk to you.”

  “About what?” Scoffing, he buried his hands in his pockets.

  His attitude sent an anxious buzzing down my fingers. I wanted to shove him against the wall again, just to make him realize how serious I was. “About you and Lola, what the hell else?”

  “What's going on between her and me isn't your problem.” Sean's chin bent low, his blue eyes that looked more like ebony narrowing at me.

  “Everything that has to do with her is my problem.” Snarling, I slammed a palm flat on the wall beside his head. His flinch was glorious, goading me on. “And right now, she's miserable because of how you've been treating her.”

  “How I've been treating her?” He shoved my shoulders, the impact solid enough that my heel slid back an inch. “She's the one who's been ignoring me, treating me like shit!”

  Our voices were rising. Someone might hear us, our secret meeting could be ruined, but I'd stopped caring. He thought Lola was the one treating him badly? Her? “You're overreacting," I warned. "She cares about you. She's just been busy getting into the swing of being in a real band.”

  Madness—disgust —bloomed across Sean's features. “I don't know if that was a fucking dig at Barbed Fire or not, but she's in your 'real' band because I'm the one who pushed her to audition. Getting into the swing of things? That's bullshit. She was just as busy before and she always told me what was going on.”

  “Talk to her.” It was less of a request, more a demand. “You make the time to talk to her and clear this up. She's dealt with too much already. Lola doesn't deserve the tension between you two bringing her down.”

  Out of the blue his anger deflated. Folding his arms, he leaned against the wall and scanned me closely. “She told you, didn't she? About our parents and how those shitty kids in school bullied her. She told you everything.”

  “Yeah, she told me.”

  Laughing bitterly, he ruffled his own hair. “Well, good. So you know I'm the only one who ever gave a shit about her, that helped her out." He gazed up at me from under his crinkled eyebrows. "You must think it's easy for me to go talk to her, to clear all of this up.”

  “It is easy, Sean.” I softened the razor on my tongue. “If I could be the only person she needed, I would be.” I'd be everything if she let me. “But she's torn up because you're pissed at her. I can't fix that. Just—man, just fucking talk to her.”

  The guitarist cocked his head like a bird. “And if I don't?”

  Clenching my hands into fists, I took a deep breath. Sean watched me closely, I made sure he could see my gigantic smile; how hollow it was. “Then I'll break your fucking jaw. I've wanted to since you kicked my amp over years back, anyway.”

  He didn't laugh or squirm. His expression was purely blank. “Guess we are similar after all.”

  In the chilly air, the two of us waited. I couldn't have said for what; perhaps just the chance one of us would strike first, that there'd be someone to blame for ruining this fragile attempt at an 'agreement' so the other could get violent without repercussion.

  Sean's exhale broke the moment. Pushing off the wall, he strolled around me, speaking as he went. “I'll talk to her. But don't you dare tell her we had this chat.”

  I won't, I thought privately. When Sean vanished from sight, I finally uncurled my fists. The tendons throbbed. The discomfort was good, it helped to center me so I could wonder if I was crazy.

  Messaging Sean... making him promise to talk to his sister... Who was I?

  I'd never worked so hard at making someone else happy.

  Lola really had changed me.

  She didn't wake up when I crept back into her room, or when I set her cellphone back down, the message to Sean long erased. Not until I invaded her bed, my jeans scratching along her bare thighs, did her eyelashes flicker. “Drez?” she mumbled, rubbing at her cheek.

  Coiling around her, my tongue explored the side of her ear. “It's just me, yeah.”

  Every goosebump on her body rose to its peak. “I could have sworn I was alone in here.” Her chuckle was frail as new snow.

  “It was just a dream.” My lips made a trail down her neck; her gasp was sweet candy to me. “I'd never leave you, Lola. Never.”

  “I know.” She kissed my chin, her mouth warm and wet. “Like you said, it was a dream.”

  My thumb glided over the back of her ear. “When you fall asleep, don't dream that you're alone. Always try to dream of me. Just me.”

  Heat grew in her cheeks, the shadows not capable of hiding it. “That sounds easy enough.”

  Soon, we were swirling tongues. It w
as my brain that felt twisted, though. If it's so easy, why do you have nightmares about your brother, your pain, your torture? Closing my eyes, I fought down a twinge of hard guilt.

  This night, I'd created another secret for myself. Another lie to hide from Lola.

  With her resting on my chest, I luxuriated in her warmth through my shirt and wished I was brave enough to expose my skin. Lola was breathing gently within minutes, returning to her dreams. I hoped they'd be pleasant this time—and I wondered what I'd dream about.

  I would have prayed for it to be pleasant...

  But I was sure I'd already spent all the prayers I was allowed.

  - Chapter Twenty-Two -

  Lola

  Teeth glided down the inside of my thigh. In the cocoon of my bed, my blankets, only one thing burned warmer than me.

  Drezden.

  I was still shaking off the mask of sleep, trying to make sense of why I'd gone from dreaming about the man to waking up to something even sweeter. Curled between my legs, he revealed the danger of lying beside him in the late hours wearing nothing but some silky blue panties.

  I could hardly see him under the covers. Squinting down, I was rewarded with a flare of green eyes—a beast on the hunt—and a rough squeeze of my ass. Gasping, I arched with my cheek in the pillow.

  “Eyes up,” was his single command. That whisper burned like pure vodka.

  For a man who demanded so much, he had acquired a terrible patience in how he teased me. Gently, he rolled his mouth up my smooth skin. On each inch he left a simple kiss. The distance felt like miles by the time he got to my knee. Wrong direction, I thought in a haze.

  No. Drezden knew what he was doing.

  Back down he went, slower than before. His casual control tugged at my center. My clit was throbbing already. In the blackness of my room, I heard my frantic breathing. Could someone go insane from being tormented like this?

  He was on my opposite leg, licking the top of my calf, when I broke. “Stop teasing me,” I sobbed.

  Stubble raked my skin, his chin dragging down until he hovered just over my shaking pussy. I was hyper aware; his words could have been fingers on my slit. “Stop?” He inhaled; sharp, precise. “Lola, I haven't even started.”

  Biting my lip didn't stifle my whimper.

  His hands came down hard on the insides of my legs. He spread them until I was taut, a violin string he could easily snap. The tip of his nose brushed deliberately down the front of my soaked panties, nudging the swelling node of my clit.

  Maybe I'm still asleep. My lashes fluttered, nails curling in the sheets. Maybe this is a dream.

  Kissing my stomach, he glided the hard muscles of his torso across mine. Climbing upwards, his weight settled, the bed creaking. His jaw angled down to kiss me; I met him halfway.

  My tongue danced with his. His hips crushed on mine, making the firm shape of his engorged cock plain as day. The heat of it seared my lower belly. "Fuck," I whispered. I couldn't keep myself from bucking up against him.

  Drezden played his long fingers under me. My spine led the way until he had the globes of my ass in his grip, kneading me, shaping me. I'd lost control already, but the carnal hunger in me became all I knew.

  I rocked hard against him, tried to pull him towards me with my dripping pussy. The wetness down my thighs was audible, every movement of Drezden's stiff cock increasing the volume. Still, he didn't give in, didn't slide aside my panties or his briefs, nothing.

  Couldn't he tell how much I needed him? Didn't he understand my desperation?

  When I reached down, trying to yank his underwear off, he just chuckled. “In a rush?”

  “You keep doing this,” I said, working at the cloth. “Teasing me, making me crazy! Isn't it hard to hold back? Is it just me that feels so—so unhinged?”

  My arms were crushed over my head. I couldn't recover before he bent low, kissing me until my mouth was numb. Everything that helped me make sense of my existence fled. I lost gravity, floating until Drezden let me go.

  His green eyes simmered inches from me. “Of course it isn't just you. I fight every minute of every day to keep myself from ripping your panties down to your ankles so I can sink my dick inside of you.” I gasped sharply; he'd rubbed his raging erection between my thighs. “I work so hard to control what I do to you, Lola.” His voice dropped, a rock that vanished in the sea. “I take my time because anything less... and I'd lose myself. I wouldn't be able to stop.”

  That honesty should have terrified me.

  Hooking my legs around his lower back, I pulled him closer. “Do it,” I whispered, nipping his lip before he could lean away. What did he see in my eyes? I could only imagine. “Fucking lose yourself, let go with me.”

  I saw his teeth in the dark. The next sound was my shout of surprise; he'd torn my panties off in a rush. “You're bold.” He cut off any words I had left with a throttling kiss. I dragged in air as he pulled away. “You get under my skin so good. No,” he said, winding his hand in my hair. “Deeper than that. You get inside of me.”

  I wanted to touch him, to run my hands over his shirt, under it, mauling his skin. I almost begged him. The words were on my tongue.

  The thick head of his dick, rubbing along my puffy lower lips, shut me up. He had himself in his fist, saturating the smooth tip of his cock with my wetness. No condom, I thought in distant panic. In one motion, he filled me to the brim.

  Biting his shoulder, I knew it wasn't enough to muffle me. Everyone on that tour bus was going to hear me scream. Drezden didn't care... and it made my heart turn as liquid as my pussy.

  He was stuffing me deep, thrusting like he could go further each stroke. Groaning in the back of my throat revealed how decadent such a normal sensation could feel. Drezden made every action sexual.

  Gasping, I tried to meet his pounding cock. He was primal, seeking to find what he wanted. The pressure built in me, hovering on the cusp of exploding. His shaft buried inside of me almost violently.

  I was barely fitting his cock inside of me. I thought it should hurt. Instead, I felt a tingle of excitement. We were bound together at the root; twisting, sweating, uncaring.

  My mouth numbed as my cells in my lower belly took control. All of my energy was being directed at my twitching clit. "I'm coming! I'm..." It was all I managed to say. He kissed me as I came, holding me while I trembled.

  In my ear, his grunt was strained. In my slippery, delicious delirium, I realized he was fighting the urge to come inside of me. The way he wrenched himself out of my flexing pussy left me hollow. Warm, sticky seed spilled over my belly. Drezden gulped for air.

  His head hung low, sweat beading on his brow. He reminded me of a great tree after a rain storm. He was strong, but some things could bend him.

  Me, I realized in surprise. I can make him bend. I pushed the hair from his slick forehead. “I know how it feels," I said softly. "Getting under your skin, I mean.” His look of surprise made me kiss his warm cheek.

  Right then, things felt so perfect. Just the two of us, sitting together in our salt and silence, enjoying just being alive. It gave me hope that things were finally smoothing into place.

  What a world, if everything could always feel so perfect.

  If only.

  ****

  The rain was sharp, it cut through my sweater and into my bones. My soaked jeans made every step I took harder. Honestly, I didn't need them to be any harder than they already were.

  Three days had passed since we'd left the city of Aspen in Colorado. We'd played every night for different faces, the screams blurring my brain until I recalled nothing but the itch in my fingers and the sweat staining my brow afterward. Each night, after every show, I'd tried to seek out my brother.

  And each night he'd been a ghost.

  Sean was a master at avoiding me. At the after parties he slipped off to drink or dance or fuck or whatever it was he was doing. I didn't need the details, the writing on the wall was clear.

  He wants
nothing to do with me.

  Too bad for him that I was done being avoided.

  Barbed Fire's ratty bus waited in the parking lot. In the rain, it was a hulking elephant close to dying from old age. I didn't knock, didn't take a moment to consider what I was doing. Slowing down increased the risk of backing out.

  I knew these doors. I'd shaken them apart so many times. They never locked right, but no one cared. All the gear worth any money was safe in the back of another van. If anyone was going to try and steal something, they wouldn't be coming here.

  Not true, I thought as I climbed the short steps. Lifting my head, I stared across the aisle at the bodies slouched in the ripped seats. I'm here to steal time from my brother. We saw each other immediately, his eyes reflecting mine. He looked... worn out. As bad as the bus itself.

  Other people were moving, grumbling at the intrusion so early in the morning. Both of us ignored them. I'm unsure if we even blinked. “Come outside with me,” I said flatly.

  “It's pouring out there.” Shoving the blanket off of his naked chest, Sean grabbed for a wrinkled shirt. It muffled his voice when he tugged it over his face. “You want us both to get sick?”

  “Come outside,” I said again.

  Beside me, a giant lump shifted. Shark squinted at us both, clearing his throat roughly. Like we hadn't gotten his meaning, he did it again. “It's fuckin' early as shit, you guys. Go somewhere else to talk. My head's about to crack, fuck.”

  “Go back to bed, Shark.” Sean tried to smooth his hair, but it wouldn't obey.

  Droplets of rain water, cool on my burning skin, drifted down my neck. “Just come on,” I said. Turning in the seat, my brother began digging around on the floor. He had the balls to not even look at me? That pushed me to the edge. “Stop ignoring me! This is why I had to come here in the first—”

  “I'm not ignoring you.” With an umbrella in hand, Sean stumbled towards me down the aisle. “I'm just making sure neither of us drowns out there.”