Combust (Electric Series #4)

by E. L. Todd

  “If that were true, he would have told me.”

  “I’ve been his best friend for a long-ass time, and he’s never even told me about it. Whatever happened really killed him inside. Maybe he’ll never tell anyone what happened.”

  “But if that was relevant to our breakup, he would say something. If it were vital to us staying together, he would tell me. Therefore, I don’t think it’s related.” I wish that were the case just so I had an excuse to forgive him.

  Derek sighed in defeat.

  “Derek, I don’t want it to be like this—truly.”

  He bowed his head. “I know.”

  “And if it were any other guy, you would tell me to run for the hills.”

  He didn’t agree with me, but he didn’t need to.

  “So I have to walk away.”

  “I know. I get it. It’s just…he was so happy.”

  “I know.” My eyes slowly watered just thinking about it. I missed the way Volt used to kiss me. I missed the way he used to make love to me. I missed the way he used to look at me. Knowing I would never feel any of those things again broke my heart. “I was happy too.”

  ***

  “I think you’re being annoying as fuck.” Natalie stood next to me at the bar, wearing a skintight dress with a gold bracelet dangling from her wrist. “Volt is a huge catch. Any girl in this bar would kill to be with him. Don’t throw him away.”

  I’d already told her the story, but it didn’t seem to matter to her. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  “Because you know I’m right.”

  “No. Because everyone needs to let this go.”

  “Are you telling me you actually think you’re going to find another guy you’ll love as much as Volt? Do you actually think you’ll find someone else who makes you just as happy? I’m telling you right now, guys as handsome, rich, and sweet as Volt don’t come around very often.”

  “So I should let him treat me however he wants?” I snapped.

  “No, I just—”

  “Nat, you’re the one who left a great guy to be with Jared, even though Jared pulled you on a string for three years. I don’t judge you for the choices you make, so don’t judge mine.”

  Natalie finally shut her mouth after I laid that one on her. But I could tell it cut deep into her skin and charred her core. She set her glass down and turned away. “I need to powder my nose…” She walked off and headed to the bathroom, her shoulders a little heavier than before.

  I growled to myself and set my glass down. Why did I have to snap at her like that? In my heart, I knew she was trying to help me. I just hated it when people told me what to do.

  “You look like you need a refill.” A handsome man came out of nowhere and placed a drink beside me. “Cosmo, right?”

  I never took drinks from strangers. He seemed like a nice guy who wouldn’t drug anyone, and I highly doubted the drink was spiked, so I chose to be nice to him. “You guessed right.”

  “I’m glad your friend walked away. Now I get my airtime.”

  “I hope you shine.”

  “I’m Ashton. I just moved here not too long ago.”

  “You’ll love the city—after you get used to it. Where did you move from?”

  “Iowa.”

  “Oh, wow. This is a really big change then.”

  “Yeah, no barns.” He chuckled.

  I chuckled too.

  “I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch your name.”

  “Taylor.”

  “Very pretty.” He drank the beer he was holding in his hand. “Well, Taylor, I think it’s safe to say we have pretty good chemistry. Maybe we should have dinner together sometime. You can pick the place.”

  There was no way in hell I was dating someone, not when Volt and I had just broken up. Honestly, I couldn’t see myself ever dating again. My entire body had shut down, and I couldn’t feel even a hint of arousal for anyone but him. “I’m very flattered but—” I felt a shadow pass overhead, like a heavy rain cloud blocking out the sun. It hovered right on top of me, making me anticipate the thunder as well as the lightning. Threat filled the air, making every muscle in my body tense with fear.

  I looked up to see Volt standing there, looking absolutely frightening. His face was expressionless but his eyes gave away his warning. He wanted to snap the guy’s neck for breathing the same air I did. He wanted to strangle him for getting too close. And he wanted to give me an earful about this kind of betrayal.

  He turned to Ashton, squaring his shoulders and intimidating him with a simple look. “Go.”

  Ashton didn’t need to be told twice. He turned away and tried to get the hell out of there.

  “Wait.” Volt grabbed the cosmo and shoved it into the guy’s chest. “Take your piss with you.”

  Ashton grabbed it with a shaky hand and didn’t complain about the front of his shirt getting soaked. Then he hauled ass.

  Volt took his place in front of me, looking like a king about to execute one of his citizens.

  “What the hell was that?” I snapped. “He was a nice guy, and you didn’t need to behave like that.”

  He stared me down, the vein in his neck throbbing. “We just broke up, and you’re already picking up guys in bars? That’s how much I meant to you? What the fuck, Taylor?”

  “I’m not picking up guys. I was just—”

  “Wearing a skintight dress and flirting with some guy after he bought you a drink. I think it’s pretty goddamn clear.”

  “Volt—”

  “I’m depressed out of my mind while you’re out having a good time. Maybe we are broken up, but this is just wrong. I can’t believe how little I mean to you.”

  “I wasn’t going to go out with him.”

  “Yeah, sure,” he said sarcastically.

  My temper came out in full force. “Like you haven’t screwed a dozen women by now.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You really think I would do that?”

  “I don’t know. You tell me.” I wanted to know he hadn’t been with anyone but me. I wanted to know I was still the only one. Maybe if that were true, we could work on our relationship. Maybe we could take baby steps. But if he said otherwise, I would die inside.

  “You know what? This break up is the best thing that ever happened to me.” He grabbed my drink and completely downed it in a single gulp. “I give my heart to someone and she stomps all over it. I knew this would happen. I convinced myself you were different but you aren’t. You’re just like all the others.” He slammed the glass on the counter so hard it shattered. He didn’t blink an eye as the glass scattered everywhere. “Now excuse me, I have somewhere to be.” He walked off and disappeared into the back of the room.

  I stayed in my spot and watched the glass reflect the overhead lights. Drops of the cocktail sprinkled across the counter. When I was face-to-face with him, I was able to keep my composure. But the second he was gone, I felt my sobs start deep in my chest. I didn’t want to cry because I hated the feeling. But I knew it was coming.

  And I couldn’t stop it.

  ***

  Two weeks went by and I didn’t hear anything from Volt.

  He’d probably screwed a dozen more women by now.

  I blocked out the thought because it would cripple me all over again, just like last time.

  In an effort to move forward, I tried to never think about him. I put the box of his stuff deep in the back of my closet so I wouldn’t see it again. I completely changed my bedding so nothing would remind me of him. I gave the apartment a deep clean so not even his essence would remain behind.

  But I couldn’t stop the dreams.

  He always came to me when I was asleep. He wasn’t aggressive and rude like he was in real life. He was tender and loving, just the way he used to be. Those dreams were the worst because I always woke up crying, missing those days more than I missed home.

  The two weeks passed at a snail’s pace. Somehow, being miserable made time go by even slower. Every sec
ond felt like a minute, and every minute felt like an hour. I’d never felt heartbreak like this.

  It was so much worse because he was my best friend.

  And now he was gone.

  Sara was my other best friend, but I didn’t tell her everything like I told him. We used to spend every free moment together, playing video games or just lying on the couch.

  And now it was over.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him at all. Now I lost my boyfriend and my best friend. But could I regret something that gave me so much joy? Our time together was short—but it was beautiful.

  Natalie and Sara were there for me, taking me out to do things a few times a week. But they never asked me about Volt. They didn’t mention his name. Sometimes I wanted Natalie to bring him up just so I would know how he was doing. But hearing about him would only make it worse.

  As time went on, my longing intensified. I missed him more and more, and I found myself crying in between classes because I suddenly felt the hole in my chest. He was gone from my life—forever. I couldn’t handle the loss. I couldn’t handle the fact that he was gone.

  Everything was too much.

  Christmas was just around the corner, and I would have two weeks off from school. I wanted to go home and see my family, but I just couldn’t afford it. I didn’t want to spend the holiday alone, but my checking account simply couldn’t support a cross-country trip. And now I was seriously thinking about quitting my job.

  I couldn’t work at Bristol Academy anymore.

  Volt’s father would eventually find out what happened between Volt and me, and working with him would just be awkward. Plus, I didn’t want to see anything that reminded me of Volt.

  It was too painful.

  So I had to leave.

  Chapter Three

  Volt

  My anger lasted for a full week.

  I went on a crazy tantrum, insulting everyone who came too close to me. Seeing Taylor mingling with that guy at the bar pissed me the fuck off. I was licking my wounds and trying to get through another day, and she was out flirting with her next guy.

  Fuck her.

  I tried to pick up a few women to bring back to my place. I wanted to fuck them so hard that my headboard broke. I wanted to hurt Taylor the way she hurt me.

  But I couldn’t do it.

  After talking with them for a few moments, I chickened out. The idea of touching someone besides Taylor made me sick. There was no way I could even get hard. And I would be doing it for the wrong reasons. I would get no enjoyment out of it, only pain.

  Had she slept with anyone?

  Was she out and about, casually dating and sleeping around?

  The idea of anyone touching her made me want to hurl. She was my girl. Even if we weren’t together anymore, she was still mine. If she slept with someone else, it would feel like a betrayal. If she fell in love with someone else, it would kill me.

  It would kill me again.

  Christmas was coming, and I was dreading the holidays. My parents kept asking if Taylor was coming for Christmas Day, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them we broke up.

  It was too hard to say it out loud.

  Everyone was getting excited for the season, and I couldn’t care in the least. The only thing that made me happy was gone. She walked out on me and broke my heart at least five times in a row.

  I wish I’d never fallen in love with her.

  I was moping around at home when Derek came by. He was spending a lot more time with me, trying to get my mind off Taylor. He didn’t bring her up because it always made things worse when he did. I didn’t want to talk about her or think about her.

  I wish I could forget about her.

  He brought over a case of beer and handed me one. “IPA?”

  “Sure.” As long as it had alcohol in it, I didn’t care.

  He sat beside me and we watched the game in comfortable silence.

  I hated my apartment. It still reeked of Taylor. I made love to her right on this couch. She sat on my lap and bounced on my dick. I thrust into her from underneath, and we both got washed away in the mutual pleasure.

  I didn’t want to be single again. I just wanted to be with her, to have that wonderful relationship again. How could I lose something so amazing? How could she walk away from me so easily? How could she start dating again?

  Derek cleared his throat once a commercial came on. “Okay, don’t get mad at me.”

  He was going to mention Taylor. And I really didn’t want to hear about it. “How about we just skip it and sit in silence?”

  Derek set his beer on the coffee table and rubbed his chin. “You’re going to hate me for a little bit but hear me out.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  “I really think you should tell her about what happened with Sara.”

  I immediately gritted my teeth when he mentioned that name. I was already pissed off, but now I was livid. I hated thinking about that skank. She broke my heart and screwed me over. Even now, I hadn’t recovered from it.

  “I still don’t know what happened, but I know whatever went down is affecting your relationship with Taylor.”

  “What relationship? We don’t have a relationship.”

  Derek ignored the question. “You’ve never been the same since you broke up with Sara. You went on a sex rampage and didn’t stop until Taylor came into your life. I think you flipped out like that because of something Sara did. Am I right?”

  I refused to answer.

  “Tell Taylor that. I really think it will make a difference.”

  “It won’t make any difference at all.”

  “How will you know unless you try?”

  “She’s already dating other guys.”

  “No, she’s not,” he argued. “Nat just told me Taylor only leaves the house when Nat drags her out.”

  I wanted that to be true—so much.

  “She’s not seeing anyone, man. Stop pushing her away. If you wait too long, it really will be too late.”

  I looked out the window just to avoid his stare.

  “Volt, come on.”

  “Why do you care so much?” I snapped.

  “Because you’re my friend. And I remember how happy you were. Don’t you want to be happy again?”

  I shrugged.

  “Yes, you do. Just talk to her. What harm could it do?”

  “It could kill me all over again.”

  “Volt—”

  “I said no.”

  “Nat told me she’s looking for a new job, somewhere outside the city. She’s actually looking for jobs in Washington. So, if she gets hired somewhere, she’s going to leave forever. And you’ll miss your chance.”

  “I already did miss my chance.”

  He sighed in frustration. “She’s putting in her two weeks right after Christmas. And I doubt she’ll stick around after that.”

  I had no idea what she was doing for Christmas, probably seeing her folks in Washington. They would ask about me, and she would say we’re done. Maybe she’d bring some other guy with her.

  Derek stared at me like he expected me to say something.

  “What?”

  “That’s it? You’re just giving up?”

  “She gave up on us a long time ago.”

  “And you’re going to let her? I’m giving you one last chance to make this right. Do it and if it doesn’t work, you can move on. She’ll be living on the other side of the country. But if you do nothing…you’ll regret it.”

  The game came back on so I stared at the screen, purposely trying to avoid him.

  Derek kept looking at me, silently pressuring me.

  I was pissed off at Taylor. Livid, actually. But I couldn’t deny how heartbroken I was. Even if she slept with someone else, I’d probably take her back anyway. That’s how much I missed her. “It’ll have to wait until after New Year’s. She’ll be in Washington until then.”

  “She’s staying home,” Derek said. “Can’t
afford the flight.”

  I finally met his gaze. “She’s spending Christmas alone?”

  “We invited her over, but she didn’t want to. Looks like she wants to be alone.”

  I was a coldhearted person, but even I didn’t like being alone on Christmas.

  “So, you’ll talk to her?” he asked.

  When he laid out everything that way, I felt obligated to do something. I felt motivated to give it one more try and hope for the best. If it didn’t work out, I could move on because I knew I did everything possible to fix all my mistakes.

  “Volt?” he pressed.

  “Fine,” I whispered. “I’ll talk to her.”

  ***

  I waited outside her apartment for nearly thirty minutes before I found the courage to knock. My knuckles tapped against the wood and echoed in the hallway. It was unusually silent since everyone left the city to spend the holiday with their families. Christmas Eve was the next day, and the snow was heavy.

  Not a single sound echoed from inside her apartment. Her footsteps were silent and the place seemed abandoned. The crack under the door didn’t show any light coming from within.

  Maybe she managed to scrounge up the money to book a flight.

  I’d have to wait until after the holidays to have this dreadful conversation.

  To my surprise, the door opened.

  Taylor stood there in sweatpants and a t-shirt. The shirt was a little lopsided, like she quickly threw it on when she heard the doorbell ring. She stared at me with surprise, just as shocked to see me across her threshold as I was to see that she actually answered the door. “Hi…”

  “Hey.” Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and her face was free of makeup. She clearly wasn’t expecting company. She was expecting to be alone. To me, she looked more beautiful than if she got dressed up. Because this was really her. This was exactly how she looked when she woke up in the morning. This was exactly how she looked when we lay on the couch together. That vulnerability, that truthfulness, was something I truly adored.

  I missed it.