The Privileged and the Damned

by Kimberly Lang

  Ethan Marshall had kissed her. That idea was just so ridiculous, though. Things like that just didn’t happen to someone like her. People like the Marshalls kissed people like them: rich, well-connected, well-bred, well-educated…

  She was none of those things. And it wasn’t like Ethan didn’t know that. She worked in his family’s stables, for God’s sake. It wouldn’t take a huge assumptive leap on his part to know she wasn’t in his social circle. Maybe in a movie some princess or socialite might hide out in the working class, but this was real life.

  She was a Mississippi redneck who lived paycheck-to-paycheck. The only connections she had were to the kind of people who made shady, back-alley, cash-only deals and ended up on episodes of COPS wearing hand cuffs. His father was a senator; her father was a felon. His family tree boasted governors and CEOs; hers had nothing but shine-runners and horse-thieves.

  Oh, and there was that small issue of her own record…

  Yeah, the Ethan Marshalls of the world didn’t kiss folks like Lily Black. At least not on purpose. Or more than once.

  Which explained why Ethan had beat a fast retreat out of her apartment earlier. He must have realized what he was doing. It wasn’t a kiss she was likely to ever forget, but she certainly wouldn’t hold her breath for it ever happening again.

  It had been a weird, weird couple of days.

  Which might explain her inability to sit still for longer than a minute or two and why she was wandering through the stables at eight o’clock in the evening instead of curling up on her bed with some mindless television.

  The stables were pretty quiet, and it wasn’t like the horses needed to be checked on or anything, but it gave her something to do with her restlessness…

  Tinker’s stall was empty, the door standing open. Lily looked around, half expecting to see Tinker wandering through the stable, looking for a snack, but no horse. Damn.

  Her heart skipped a beat before she calmed herself down. Tinker was a valuable horse, but not one someone would steal—and Tinker was ornery enough to not go willingly with a stranger. Even if someone had accidentally left his stall open—and if someone had, that would get them fired—Tinker was too spoiled to stray far from the comfort of home. So where the hell was that horse?

  Remain calm until there’s a reason to panic or sound the alarm. Lily went to check the paddock and, sure enough, as soon as she stepped outside she heard hoofbeats. A second later her heart skipped a beat for an entirely different reason.

  Ethan was riding Tinker. Bareback. They looked like something from a movie, silhouetted against the trees with the moonlight throwing Ethan’s features in and out of shadow. That was definitely a sight to make a girl sigh. Especially one who was still in the afterglow of his kiss and nursing a massive crush. She could happily lean here against the fence all night and just watch.

  But Ethan must have noticed her, and Tinker trotted to the fence a moment later. “You’re out here late, Lily.”

  Act casual. She was just glad it was dark out here and the flush in her cheeks wouldn’t be quite so noticeable. “Don’t let me interrupt. I was just looking for Tinker since he wasn’t in his stall.”

  Ethan patted the horse’s neck. “I never did get to ride today, so…”

  “Then I’ll leave you to it.” She pushed off the fence. “Goodnight, Ethan.”

  “Lily—”

  “Yes?” Please don’t mention earlier. I don’t want to hear that it was a mistake. Let me keep that memory just as is.

  “Would you like to come along?” Ethan extended a hand to her, and she realized he meant on Tinker. With him. Just like in some movie.

  All that rationalizing from earlier nagged at her. All of those very valid reasons telling her to say goodnight again and go back to her apartment. But her brain and her blood weren’t exactly in agreement. Would it really hurt anything if she said yes?

  Hadn’t this been what she’d been working toward? Well, not this exactly—this was outside the realm of even her daydreams—but something like this? A fresh start in a new place where no one knew of her past? Where she had nothing to try to live down or up to? For once being accepted just for herself, without anything clouding the issue? Hadn’t she earned this? A reward of sorts?

  It didn’t help that Ethan looked like something fresh from a fantasy himself—hair mussed, a slight five o’clock shadow emphasizing his jawline, controlling the stallion just with a set of reins and really nice thigh muscles.

  She didn’t know when she’d regressed to a moony fifteen-year-old, but the quivery feeling in her stomach and the heat surging through her veins were not signs of maturity.

  Then Ethan smiled at her, and she really didn’t care anymore. She slipped between the fence rails and let him help her climb on.

  Riding bareback was a completely different experience from using a saddle. She could feel the heat of the horse seeping through her jeans immediately—but then she was pressed against Ethan’s back, and the heat was even more intense. She had no choice but to wrap her arms around his waist—not that she didn’t love the excuse—and the hard muscles there brought back the still-vivid picture she had of those muscles covered in nothing but a few drops of water.

  Her head didn’t clear his shoulder, keeping her from seeing where they were going, and her nose and lungs were filled with the Ethan-scent she remembered from earlier today.

  The force of so many sensations slamming into her at once had her feeling light-headed. Ethan opening the paddock gate barely registered, but his, “Hang on!” did. He waited until her arms tightened before nudging Tinker, and the stallion took off.

  It was exhilarating—like nothing else she’d ever experienced. The estate was draped in shadows, and those shadows whipped by at a dizzying speed as they headed toward the river. The dark and the quiet made Lily feel like she and Ethan were the only people for miles. It was easy to just relax into the motion of man and horse, let the wind cool her cheeks and tug at her braid, and enjoy the rush of adrenaline.

  Ethan slowed Tinker as they approached the river, cooling him down, and Lily was finally able to catch her breath. “Wow. That was amazing. I’ve never felt anything like it.” That’s not entirely true, her brain argued as Ethan chuckled and those abs moved under her hands.

  “Have you never ridden bareback before?” Ethan turned his head slightly toward her as he spoke, putting his mouth just inches from hers.

  “No. I don’t ride the horses for fun, remember?”

  “Pity. You did great, though. Definitely a natural.”

  Tinker stopped at the water’s edge, and Ethan held out his arm to help her slide off. He followed, then let Tinker wander down to the water for a drink. Lily’s surprise must’ve shown on her face. “He won’t go far, and he’ll come back.”

  “How interesting. If I did that, Tinker would be halfway back to the stable by now.”

  “Because Tinker knows who’s the boss. And it’s not you.” He winked at her. “Sorry.”

  “He should try to remember who feeds him, though, and have a little respect for that,” she grumbled.

  A fallen tree made a sort of bench, and Lily took advantage of it, since her legs still weren’t entirely stable. It was a quiet, beautiful, moonlit night, but suddenly a bit discomfiting. She was a long way from the stable, alone in a romantic setting with a man who made her insides melt and who had already kissed her once today.

  The hope he would do it again battled with the fear that he actually might. When Ethan joined her on the log, she tensed involuntarily.

  “Don’t worry, Lily. I’m not going to pounce on you. In fact, maybe I should apologize for earlier.”

  “Oh.” Damn. No! Good.

  He sat quietly for a moment. “Or maybe I should apologize for later.”

  Now her brain really was twisted into knots. “Why?”

  Ethan didn’t look at her. Instead he leaned back against the tree trunk and cushioned his head on his arms. “Because I’m thinking I’l
l do it again before we go back.”

  Lily didn’t know if she should laugh or pull her hair out, but her heart was pounding again. “Is that a prom—?” She caught herself in time. “A warning?”

  His eyes were closed, but a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Just a prediction.”

  “I see.” Breathing was a whole different issue, though. She was very glad he kept his eyes closed. When he didn’t say anything else, Lily realized Ethan was giving her the chance to object, to turn him down, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Regardless of how smart it would be to do just that. “It’s a nice night.”

  “Indeed.”

  She pulled her feet up and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Is that why you decided to go for a ride? Because it’s a nice night?”

  “That, and the fact that I really had to get away from the house for a while.”

  The frustration in his voice caught her off guard. “Why is that?”

  There was that little smile again. “For someone who doesn’t like to answer questions, you sure do ask a lot of them.”

  “I do?”

  Ethan smirked, and she realized what she’d done.

  “I mean, I guess that’s true. I just think other people are far more interesting. I know my story already.”

  Ethan finally opened his eyes. “But I don’t. Know your story, that is.”

  “You’re not missing much.” That wasn’t entirely true, but it wasn’t a lie either. “Why do you think I left Mississippi?”

  “If you’re looking for adventure, Hill Chase isn’t the right place to find it. There’s not much excitement to be found.”

  She rested her chin on her knees and studied the river. “I’m not looking for adventure or excitement. Just some thing else. Something other than what I had. Haven’t you ever wished to…?” She realized whom she was talking to. “No, I guess you haven’t.”

  “Haven’t what?”

  “Wanted to go somewhere where no one knew you and had no preconceived notions or expectations.”

  “What makes you think I haven’t? Or that I don’t wish that every single day?”

  She turned to face him. “Because… Because you’re…” Handsome, charming, rich, powerful. “A Marshall.”

  He laughed dryly. “You say that like it means some thing special.”

  “It does,” she stressed.

  Ethan snorted.

  “You mean it doesn’t?”

  “It means that everyone gets sick of their life occsionally, Lily. Everyone wants to run away from home at some point.”

  “Hmm.”

  An eyebrow went up. “Just ‘hmm’? No ‘why’ this time?”

  She was more than a little amazed at how easy it could be to talk to Ethan. “Oh, I’m dying to ask why, but then I’d feel honor-bound to answer your ‘why’ questions, and I don’t think we’re ready to be confidantes. Or that we ever should be. It would be inappropriate, considering I work for your grandparents.”

  “Interesting way to look at it.”

  “Just less complicated.” In many ways.

  He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I get the feeling you don’t like complicated.”

  “I prefer simple. It’s easier.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  “Why?”

  “Because things are about to get complicated anyway.”

  That was all the warning she got. Ethan had gotten so close during their conversation that he only had to move a couple of inches and his mouth was on hers.

  Oh, yes. Her earlier arguments posted a brief protest to her rational self, only to be quickly shouted down. Who gave a damn about maturity and rationality, anyway? This wasn’t an experience she was likely to get to repeat, so she’d be a fool to let it go to waste.

  She was many things, but a fool wasn’t one of them.

  Ethan’s kiss wasn’t like any kiss she’d ever had before—hungry, yet patient; teasing, but full of all kinds of dark, wicked promises and possibilities.

  And those promises and possibilities intrigued her.

  Ethan shifted, pulling her fully into his lap and settling her so that her legs crossed his lap as he leaned back against the tree trunk. One hand moved to the small of her back, and she felt his fingers curl through the belt loops at her waist—like she was tempted to go anywhere at this point. The other had pulled her close to his chest.

  If there was a more perfect moment in time, in a more perfect setting, Lily didn’t know what it could be. But the feel of Ethan’s lips on her neck, the strong bulk of him under her thighs…the moonlight, the sound of the river… It had to be real, because her imagination wasn’t that good.

  Her palms tingled as she smoothed her hands over the soft cotton that separated his skin from her touch. The hidden ridges and valleys fascinated her, and she traced them with her thumbs, pleased by the way the muscles contracted and his heartbeat thumped in response.

  Ethan tugged her shirt out of her jeans and those hands were hot against her back, then her ribs, before finally snaking up to cover her breast. She gasped at the bolt of heat that shot through her.

  The gasp caught Ethan’s attention. He hadn’t been kidding earlier when he said he planned to kiss her again, but pawing the woman hadn’t been on his agenda. Her taste, the way she responded… Lily was a drug that snatched away his common sense. And his control.

  Another minute and he’d have her on her back on the hard ground.

  Her eyes widened as he told her just that. “Oh.” The word was a sigh, tinged with disappointment—a feeling he shared, because he was not prepared for the possibility.

  A second later she slid off his lap and stood. She tucked in her shirt and smoothed her hair, effectively ending the moment and any possibilities with efficient movements designed to put space between them.

  Her sharp whistle had Tinker trotting over, much to Ethan’s surprise. Lily took hold of his bridle. “I should probably go back now. Could you drop me off before you finish your ride?”

  The words were clipped, showing her discomfort regardless of how casual she tried to act. Even in the moonlight he could see the flush climbing her neck and staining her cheeks again.

  Once again he was in no condition to ride—in a condition he was beginning to wonder might become permanent whenever Lily was around. But he climbed aboard Tinker anyway, searched for the least uncomfortable position, then helped Lily up.

  He felt her hesitate before she grasped his waist. Before, she’d molded herself to him: breasts heavy against his back, thighs snuggled up behind his. This time she tried to keep space between them, her hands light and her body stiffly held away.

  Risk of discomfort or not, he was tempted to let Tinker take off at full speed, which would force her to either get close or get thrown off. Instead, he let Tinker meander his way in the direction of the stable.

  Attempts at idle conversation were met with vague, nearly monosyllabic answers that only got worse as they neared the building.

  “Lily, look—”

  But Lily was already sliding off ungracefully. “Thanks for the ride,” she said, backing away toward the stairs. “Goodnight.” She spun and took the stairs two at a time, just asking for another fall.

  She never looked back, never broke stride as she opened the door and disappeared inside.

  And he didn’t have a clue what any of that was about.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  A VERY restless, nearly sleepless night left Lily feeling like a zombie the next morning, and all the coffee in the world couldn’t help. But it wasn’t just the lack of sleep clouding her brain; no, once again she had Ethan to thank for that.

  He was a contradiction that had her brain misfiring in confusion. While his actions seemed to indicate Ethan was interested in her, she couldn’t think of one good reason why he should be. But she couldn’t help but be flattered. And excited. Even though she knew she shouldn’t be anywhere near Ethan, it hadn’t kept her from crawlin
g into his lap last night.

  And she’d been so swept up in the sensations and the moment… She took a deep breath and stamped down the memories that seemed equally imprinted in her mind and her skin. She was just very lucky he’d come to his senses when he had.

  Ethan was so far out of her league they weren’t even playing the same game. And, while she’d enjoyed flirting with the possibilities, last night proved beyond any doubt that she was definitely not ready to move up from the minor league.

  “Lily, honey, I think it’s clean enough now.” Ray’s voice cut into her thoughts. “I appreciate your attention to detail, though.”

  Lily looked down at the bridle she’d been cleaning for who knew how long, then gave the stable manager a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I’m not all here today.”

  “Is your head okay?”

  Her head was a total mess, but Ray probably wasn’t asking about that, and she nodded. “I’ve got a small bruise, but that’s it. The leg’s a bit sore, though.” Both legs were sore, and her thighs had been screaming at her this morning for riding bareback last night, but she didn’t offer up that tidbit of info.

  “If you need to take it easy today…”

  “No, I’m fine,” she assured him. “Just the change in the weather making me daydreamy. I love fall.”

  Ray nodded, and Lily went back to cleaning tack, forcing herself to concentrate on the task at hand, not who she’d had her hands on last night.

  It didn’t quite work.

  Some days, it just wasn’t worth getting out of bed. Four measly hours into this day and it already sucked. Fed up with just about everything, Ethan closed his laptop before he started sending emails he’d regret later. He took a deep breath to calm his rising anger. He should probably put the phone off-limits too.

  It was a point of pride for him—realizing he was reaching the end of his tether before he got there. Although he had his father’s temper—had inherited it in spades—he knew how to control it. Or at least how to not let it control him.