Child of Music (Warrender Saga Book 5)

by Mary Burchell

  To her astonishment and embarrassment, Felicity felt her eyes fill with tears. It was not just the exquisite relief of knowing that at last Janet was playing to someone who could appreciate her gifts; nor even the emotional excitement of being proved right in a cause she had passionately espoused. It was the sheer, almost unearthly beauty of the sound. Almost as though she were hearing those familiar phrases for the first time.

  He let the child play the movement without interruption. Then he held out his hand and said, ‘Come here, Janet.’

  She came immediately and put her hand in his.

  ‘Do you know what I mean by a music-maker?’ he asked her.

  ‘Yes, I think so.’

  ‘It’s something quite different from a performer, you know. Different from someone who goes on a platform to demonstrate — often very successfully — how accomplished he or she may be. It means someone who serves the great art of music with heart and soul, as well as — ’ he smiled and spread out the small hand he was holding — ‘as well as fingers and brain. It takes everything, Janet, to make the real thing. Above all, there must be that desire to serve, rather than to impress. To be humble rather than easily satisfied with oneself.’

  Janet considered that for a moment. Then, to Felicity’s mingled amusement and alarm, she looked very directly at Oscar Warrender and asked simply, ‘Are you humble?’

  ‘Not as a man, either by temperament or experience,’ the conductor assured her, again exactly as though he were speaking to a grown-up. ‘But as a musician — yes, Janet, I am. Though few people would believe me if I said so.’

  ‘I believe you,’ said Janet kindly.

  ‘Well, that’s fine.’ The conductor laughed and ruffled her hair slightly, as though he suddenly remembered that she was indeed a child. ‘And will you remember what I have told you about being a music-maker?’

  Janet nodded. ‘Did you mean that I might be one?’

  ‘You might. Nothing is sure in this unsure world. But the possibility is there, Janet. I will only say — try to be one. Now your lesson is over. Run along. I want to talk to Miss Grainger.’

  ‘May I ask you one thing first?’

  ‘Oh, yes.’

  ‘Did you like my playing?’

  He regarded her almost sombrely for several seconds before he replied. Then he simply said, ‘Yes, I liked your playing.’

  She was, Felicity saw with surprise, completely satisfied with this modest degree of praise. She put away her violin and bow in their case with her usual meticulous care. Then, having closed and fastened the case, she picked it up, said a comprehensive, ‘Goodbye,’ which evidently included them both, and went away.

  For a minute after her undramatic exit there was silence in the room. Then Felicity looked at the conductor and asked her own version of Janet’s question.

  ‘Did you like her playing, Mr. Warrender?’

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘I didn’t “like” it. That was the only word I could use to the child without giving her inflated ideas about herself too soon. I was astounded and moved by it. Not an experience which comes often to me nowadays, I assure you — and never, I think, where a child was concerned. Infant prodigies are not in my line.’

  ‘But she isn’t that, is she?’

  ‘No. That’s the interesting thing about her.’ He sat down opposite Felicity and regarded her thoughtfully. ‘She plays with an almost adult understanding. There’s nothing precocious about her in the usual sense of the word. She just has a perfectly natural musical instinct far beyond her years. What I can’t understand — ’ he frowned — ‘is that Tarkman failed to spot it too. He has quite exceptional musical judgment usually.’

  ‘She played very much less than her best when he heard her,’ Felicity explained in all justice.

  ‘Yes, yes, I understand that.’ Warrender made an impatient little movement with his expressive hand. ‘She was nervous, I don’t doubt, and probably muffed some of her passage work. But Stephen has plenty of experience in judging nervous youngsters. How could he not have seen what was really there? If that child played really badly she would still be interesting.’

  ‘But that was just it, Mr. Warrender! She didn’t play really badly. She just wasn’t interesting,’ Felicity admitted with a rueful smile.

  ‘Really?’ He gave her one of those quick, penetrating glances. ‘Explain.’

  ‘Well, it probably sounds mad to you — ’

  ‘Nothing sounds mad to me. I live my life among artists,’ Warrender interrupted disagreeably.

  Felicity laughed and relaxed slightly from the tension which invariably seized her now when she had to speak of Julia Morton.

  ‘The trouble is that Janet dislikes and fears her aunt to an almost pathological degree. I’ve tried not to involve myself in what doesn’t concern me, but naturally I am on Janet’s side and — ’

  ‘Naturally. She is your concern. Julia Morton is not,’ said the conductor in such a matter-of-fact tone that Felicity found herself wishing desperately that Stephen had just a little of his impersonal viewpoint.

  She found it not difficult after that to explain about Janet’s disastrous reaction on the night of the school concert.

  ‘It wasn’t just stage-fright or ordinary nervousness, you understand. It was concerned solely with the fact that her aunt was there, and she was almost literally petrified. I remember thinking, as I tried to find bracing words to stiffen her morale, that I might as well have told a rabbit not to be frightened of a snake. As I said, this may sound mad — ’

  ‘No.’ Once more Warrender interrupted her on that word. ‘It’s something I have come across occasionally even in an experienced artist.’ He paused for a moment and frowned slightly, and she felt certain he was thinking of Anthea. ‘It’s all the more devastating because it is against all reason and therefore yields to no form of reassurance. In Janet’s case it is simply something we must accept and guard against. The aunt must keep out of her way, particularly on any important occasion.’

  With difficulty Felicity resisted the desire to say, ‘You tell that to Stephen Tarkman!’

  Instead, she replied very reasonably, ‘Julia Morton isn’t a woman to co-operate over anything like that, you know. She wouldn’t see why she should. In fact, I’m afraid she dislikes Janet as much as Janet dislikes her, and she rather enjoys the fact that she frightens the child.’

  ‘Then it must be made clear to her that she must keep away. She is of no importance in comparison with this clever child,’ stated Oscar Warrender, with a brutal frankness which endeared him to Felicity for the most ignoble reasons. ‘Stephen must talk to her,’ he added. ‘He’s the one who knows her well enough to do it.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think Stephen — I don’t think Mr. Tarkman would be prepared to do that,’ exclaimed Felicity, pleasurably shocked at the very idea.

  ‘Why not? If you explain to him exactly what the situation is — ’

  ‘If I do? But, Mr. Warrender, I couldn’t possibly explain to Mr. Tarkman in any terms he would accept. He — he doesn’t like me, for one thing,’ she added quite ridiculously.

  ‘Like you? He doesn’t have to like you,’ said Oscar Warrender, dismissing her fondest hopes with one crushing sentence. ‘I don’t much like many of my colleagues, and even more of them don’t like me, I strongly suspect. It’s of no importance whatever, so long as one’s opinion — one’s judgment — is respected. If Tarkman respects your judgment about this child — ’

  ‘But he doesn’t,’ interjected Felicity agitatedly.

  ‘He will when he hears that I’ve confirmed it absolutely,’ replied the conductor calmly. ‘I’ll see him when I go from here. I’m seeing him about some other things in any case — matters which have to be settled before Anthea and I leave for the States at the end of next week. I shall explain that Janet is my personal choice for the next vacancy. That is a decision which will not be queried by anyone, I can assure you.’

  ‘I believe you,’ said Felicity earnestly. �
�And I’m more grateful than I can say, on Janet’s behalf. But please, Mr. Warrender, could you also explain to Mr. Tarkman about Mrs. Morton?’

  ‘What do you want me to explain about Mrs. Morton?’ He looked suddenly amused.

  ‘What you said just now. What we agreed. That she must keep away when Janet is under any sort of strain, and that she must be made to accept — and respect — the fact that she has a damaging effect on the child.’

  ‘Wouldn’t that come better from you — her teacher?’ he asked carelessly.

  ‘Oh, no! There’s been trouble enough already about — about what I think of Mrs. Morton,’ Felicity explained confusedly. And then she went crimson at the realization that she had made that sound altogether too personal.

  ‘Really?’ Again the conductor looked a good deal amused. ‘Very well, I’ll see what I can do. But you are the one who will be on the spot most of the time, and I rely on you to see that gifted child is properly protected. You’ve done extraordinarily well by her so far. I congratulate you. But looking after a sensitive artist in those formative years is a full-time job, and the responsibility is great, as I think you realize.’

  ‘I do indeed. And I’ll do my very best,’ Felicity assured him. ‘But there are circumstances — I mean there may be great personal difficulties — ’ she broke off rather distressedly.

  ‘There are difficulties attaching to everything worthwhile, Miss Grainger,’ Oscar Warrender said drily, ‘and one must be prepared to stand up to them. Any fool can say “yes” and drift with the tide. The important thing is to be able to say “no” at the right time and to the right person.’

  She thought of saying ‘no’ to Stephen, and disliked the idea very much indeed.

  ‘There is no need to be afraid of the Julia Mortons of this world,’ Warrender told her, not unkindly.

  ‘I’m not afraid of Julia Morton herself,’ Felicity said with great candour. ‘I am a little afraid of what she can make — other people think.’

  ‘By “other people” I take it you mean Stephen Tarkman?’

  Felicity nodded.

  ‘I don’t think she could say anything that would shake your position at Tarkmans, Miss Grainger. If you don’t know it already, I don’t mind telling you that Stephen thinks very highly indeed of you as a teacher. He told me so himself.’

  ‘Oh, as a teacher, yes, I know that.’ Felicity caught her breath on a slight sigh.

  ‘How else do you want him to think of you, then?’ inquired Warrender, with brutal directness.

  ‘How else?’ She was indescribably startled and looked it. Then she saw where the conversation had led her, and made a tremendous effort to retrieve the position. ‘No other way — of course! Except that, in the earlier days, Mr. Tarkman was kind enough to treat me as a friend as much as a colleague. Then, when we — we failed to see eye to eye over Mrs. Morton’s attitude towards Janet, he — ’ Felicity paused, suddenly sensing further verbal dangers. Finally, she said in a very reserved sort of tone, ‘I don’t think he regards me as a friend any longer. And I’m sorry about it.’

  ‘These things pass,’ Oscar Warrender assured her, with an easy indifference she could not share. ‘Relationships are changing all the time, particularly in a world where ambition and temperament and genuine concern about the things that matter are all mixed up together. It’s only a question of getting one’s priorities right. The important person in all this is Janet. Though of course,’ he added warningly, ‘it would be most unwise to let the child know that.’

  ‘Of course,’ agreed Felicity with sincerity. ‘I mean that I realize both that she is the important person, and equally that she must be left in healthy ignorance of the fact.’

  ‘Then we understand each other.’ The conductor glanced at his watch and stood up. ‘Keep her artistic importance continually in mind and, when you have to, give full consideration to her peculiar sensitiveness over the aunt. If I’m not mistaken — and I seldom am,’ he added, without either conceit or false modesty, ‘you have a near-genius on your hands. She’s worth a row or two with any Julia Morton. Or with Stephen either, if it should come to that. Though why it should I can’t imagine,’ he finished, with the casual confidence of the totally uninvolved.

  ‘I hope it won’t.’ Felicity managed to put some seeming confidence into her own smile at that. For one did not query Oscar Warrender’s major decisions. Nor, of course, did one presume to bore the great man with any further personal anxieties.

  She could not even bring herself to remind him that he was to speak warningly to Stephen about Julia Morton’s unfortunate influence on her niece. She could only shake hands with him, thank him once more from her heart for his interest in Janet, and hope that he would not forget to smooth a few places for her in what might be a very rough path ahead.

  When he had gone Felicity sat for some minutes alone in the music room. Janet had been her last pupil for the afternoon, and her time was now her own.

  Gradually the inner agitation about her own affairs began to subside. And in their place flowed the warm, strong, intoxicating realization that Janet’s future development was secure. She had won! She had not battled in vain. She had not shirked the most important challenge of her teaching life. She might have made an implacable enemy in Julia Morton; she might even, however unreasonably, have alienated Stephen further. But the fact was that the finest pupil she was ever likely to handle was to have her full chance of coming to complete development.

  ‘And that’s what Oscar Warrender meant about getting one’s priorities right, I suppose,’ she thought amusedly.

  Suddenly elated, and much more tranquilly happy than she had been for many days, Felicity went to report to her headmistress on the successful outcome of the informal audition.

  There was no question of Mrs. Bush’s congratulatory interest, and she gave Felicity full credit for the part she had played. But all this was nothing compared to the almost indecent jubilation in which Mary indulged when Felicity came home to describe in full the exciting events of the afternoon.

  ‘You mean that Oscar Warrender himself tried out our Janet, and said you were dead right about her? What absolute triumph! Don’t you feel like clashing cymbals, and thumbing your nose at Julia Morton and Stephen Tarkman and the lot?’

  ‘Not at Stephen Tarkman,’ Felicity objected. ‘He — ’

  ‘He virtually turned Janet down, didn’t he? And then queried your judgment in a superior way, just because he wanted to find excuses for the Morton’s behaviour. Blessings on Warrender’s distinguished head! I’ve never heard him conduct, and wouldn’t know much about it if I did. But he obviously knows more about music than all the Tarkman crowd put together. Except you, of course,’ Mary added with splendid lack of prejudice.

  ‘That’s what I like about you,’ Felicity teased. ‘You’re so objective about your friends.’

  ‘I am being objective,’ Mary declared. ‘I just happen to realize that you know more than the others. And what better proof could you need than Oscar Warrender’s confirmation of your judgment? How does it feel to have the great man say you were right?’

  ‘It’s wonderful,’ Felicity acknowledged. ‘Both for the personal gratification and the knowledge that I’ve done what I set out to do and secured the right training for Janet. In spite of Julia Morton,’ she added with a touch of understandable malice.

  ‘I wonder,’ said Mary reflectively, ‘how the self-confident Mr. Tarkman will like being put in the wrong.’

  ‘Oh, he and Oscar Warrender are old friends,’ Felicity said quickly. ‘Stephen thinks him the last word on musical matters, and wouldn’t dream of querying any pronouncement of his.’

  ‘I wasn’t thinking of his querying it. I just wondered if he might resent it.’

  ‘From Warrender? — No.’ Felicity shook her head emphatically.

  ‘There’s such a thing as transferring one’s resentment elsewhere,’ observed Mary sagely. ‘I mean — don’t be too much upset if he’s rather off
-brushing to you about it at first. He’ll probably give way to Warrender with the utmost grace and willingness, but he may not feel entirely sweet towards the humble instrument who proved him wrong.’

  ‘That,’ said Felicity firmly, ‘would be unreasonable and unjust.’

  ‘Well, of course,’ Mary agreed. ‘People are unreasonable and unjust when their pride has been stung.’

  ‘Not Stephen Tarkman. You underestimate him,’ Felicity declared. And her assurance was all the more emphatic because Mary’s words exactly echoed the anxiety in her own heart.

  She maintained an air of smiling confidence, however, right up to the time when she set out for the Tarkman School later in the evening, to give her usual weekly lecture to the older students. Then she did experience some tremors of apprehension.

  Oscar Warrender’s visit, however, had put some heart into her and, so determined was she to seem cool and courageous, even to herself, that she made herself pass Stephen’s house near the north gate, disdaining to give tacit admission to her fears by going round the way she had chosen recently.

  She need not have worried. Neither outside the house nor through the large windows at the front was there any sign of Stephen. She made herself glance casually in the direction of the house just to make sure. Then, steadied by the effort of having made herself behave normally, she went on her way breathing a little more easily.

  Just inside the school entrance she ran into Professor Blackthorn, who stopped to exchange greetings and the odd bit of school news. For, as he frankly admitted, he was something of a gossip and everything to do with Tarkmans interested him.

  ‘Have you heard that we’re losing young Camilla Ronci?’ he said. ‘That will mean an unexpected vacancy in the Junior School. I thought you’d like to know in case you wanted to put forward that girl you have at Carmalton.’

  Felicity nearly said, ‘Oscar Warrender will be putting her forward now.’ But, not wanting to speak too soon of that, she restrained herself — and the rush of excitement which overcame her at the thought of Janet’s probable good fortune. Then, quite composedly, she asked why Camilla Ronci was leaving.