Blame It on the Shame (Blame It on the Shame: Lou-Lou and Ricardo's Story #1)

by Ashley Jade

I almost forget that it's Ricardo and drop the glass of wine. He rolls his eyes, it's clear he doesn't like Daddy's girlfriend all that much.

  And if I'm being honest, the feeling is mutual.

  What kind of man looks at his father's girlfriend like she's nothing but trash?

  He doesn't even know me. He has no idea what my life is like.

  He has no idea about the fortress full of pain and shame that plagues me.

  No one does. No one ever will.

  He turns his attention to his father again and I study his features.

  Yeah, he looks nothing like Bruno Deluca.

  Bruno isn't particularly handsome by any means, his features are purely intense.

  But Ricardo?

  Holy hell, I might need to fan myself.

  His skin is a shade darker than mine, making it appear as though he spends loads of time in the sun catching a golden tan. His dark hair is short on the sides but longer on the top and his nose, jaw, and lips are the perfect combinations of rugged and sexy.

  The only exception to his flawless face is his nose which is slightly crooked, most likely from all the years he spent boxing and fighting.

  Speaking of which, I don't even need to see him without his shirt to know he must spend hours at the gym.

  Those muscles stretching out his t-shirt speak volumes, and there's no doubt in my mind that he has some killer washboard abs.

  Something Bruno most certainly does not have, given his stocky build.

  Whoever Ricardo's mother was, must have been one heck of a stunner because this man is ridiculously gorgeous.

  “Did you hear me, Lucianna?” Bruno roars, tearing me away from ogling his son.

  I take another sip of wine. “Sorry, mio amore. I did not.”

  His face grows soft for a moment. He loves when I call him mio amore.

  He tugs on my hand until I'm standing up. I halt him and down the rest of my wine. I notice Ricardo shaking his head in my peripheral vision.

  I take a step and stumble slightly—guess I must be drunker than I thought, after all.

  Bruno moves his chair away from the table and pulls me across his lap.

  I wrap my arms around his neck, it's been years since I've cuddled in his lap like this and I miss it so much.

  It reminds me of the times he was good to me...the times he protected me.

  Before he turned into my worst nightmare.

  A nightmare I can't ever seem to wake up from or untangle my heart from.

  “Like I was telling Ricardo, I think we need to have a ring girl at the fight club,” Bruno says.

  I giggle in my drunken stupor. “But I thought they fought in cages, not rings.”

  The hand that was making its way up my thigh stops and he sighs. “They do. It's just an expression. But I want to know what you think about that idea.”

  Across the table, I see Ricardo's nostrils flair and I know he's annoyed that DeLuca's asking me.

  And honestly, I don't even know why he's asking my opinion in the first place.

  However, I know my role and I play it well. “If you think it's a good idea then so do I, mio amore.”

  “You sure that's not just the sauce talking, sweetheart?” Ricardo interjects, his Bronx accent much thicker than I noticed earlier.

  I ignore him and run a hand along Bruno's jaw. “You're the most brilliant man I've ever met. You know what's best for the club.”

  I tilt my head and give Ricardo a big 'fuck you' smile. “Because it's yours and only yours.”

  I know Ricardo wants DeLuca's club—but I also know that DeLuca isn't willing to just hand it over to him, at least not for another seven years.

  Maybe now Ricardo will stop with his snide comments and judgmental glances.

  Bruno always told me that you need to cut people down to size first before they do it to you. It's the only way to get the upper hand.

  Bruno kisses my jaw and runs a hand along my inner thigh. “Good girl,” he whispers in my ear. “Are you ready for your surprise now?”

  I nod, the movement sending a brief rush of dizziness through me.

  “It seems you're outnumbered, Ricardo. Both Lucianna and I think it would be a good idea to hire a ring girl.”

  He throws his napkin down and flicks a hand in my direction. “Her opinion doesn't even count!” he yells. “The fight club is no place for a woman. It's dangerous.”

  “We'll hire additional security,” Bruno argues.

  “It's still not enough.”

  “So make sure you protect the girl I hire.”

  Bruno latches on to my waist and sits up in his seat. “You know it's a good business move. Our major demographic at the fight club is male. And we have more bet's coming in and more people watching the fights than ever before. We need some kind of eye candy.”

  Ricardo appears to think about this for a moment. “Fine,” he says. “I don't like it, but I suppose you have a point. But the second someone attacks one of those girls, it's done and I don't want to hear another word about it.”

  “Girl,” Bruno says.

  Ricardo cocks an eyebrow. “What?”

  “We only need one girl.”

  “Okay,” Ricardo says before taking a sip of his water.

  “And my bambina here is just the right girl for the job.”

  My jaw drops and Ricardo chokes on his water. “You can't be serious. We need a professional.”

  “She is a professional,” Bruno declares.

  Ricardo flashes a smile in my direction, showcasing his bright white teeth. I'm willing to bet he paid good money for them considering how perfect they are. “Oh, I'm sure she's a professional, alright. Just not the kind we need down at the club.”

  My cheeks flush and I narrow my eyes at him. I can't believe this douchebag just insinuated that I was some kind of call girl.

  “How dare you!” I scream while Bruno smirks.

  “It's a done deal, she's hired,” Bruno says.

  Ricardo pushes his chair back. “Look, no offense to your girlfriend here...and I use that term loosely. But the last thing we need is some jail bait Lindsay Lohan holding cue cards up in all her drunken glory at the club.” His expression turns serious. “She'll get eaten alive. Someone will take advantage of her in her inebriated state and I won't have that on my conscience.”

  “She's clean,” Bruno says. “It won't be a problem.”

  Ricardo snorts. “She just downed almost two bottles of wine by herself in one sitting. She's barely over 100lbs.”

  He stands up and points at me. “Not to mention, she's got more tracks running down her arms than the Long Island Railroad.” He fixes his intense gaze on me and I feel myself shrink down. “I don't know who you think you're fooling, honey...but it's sure as hell, not me.”

  Bruno nudges me off his lap. “She's been clean for over two months. She hasn't gone near the stuff.” His eyes darken. “Now, she's hired and that's the end of it. You will take her back to the city with you, tonight.”

  “What?” I screech at the same time Ricardo yells, “Fuck, no.”

  Bruno looks at me. “I've already had Marlene pack your things. And your car has been transported to the parking lot of the apartment complex where I've rented an apartment for you. It's in the same complex as Ricardo's.”

  I step back, the impact of what he's doing smacking me in the chest. He never discussed any of this with me, not once. Which can only mean one thing.

  “You—” I pause and try to gather my bearings. “You're kicking me out?”

  Marlene returns to the dining room and smiles from ear to ear.

  My hands fly to my face and I force the tears to stay back. I always thought I'd feel relieved if he ever decided this was a done deal, but all I feel is rejected by the only man who's ever claimed to love me. Even if his love is the kind that hurts.

  “You don't want me anymore?” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I thought you love—” I don't finish that statement because I remember w
hat happened the last time I uttered it.

  Ricardo opens his mouth but snaps it shut. His eyes soften and for a moment, I see compassion swirling in them. “I'll take her with me. It won't be a problem.”

  “Thank you, son,” Bruno says, purposely ignoring me and I swear my heart cracks.

  Marlene takes a step closer to him in all her french maid wet dream glory, but I bare my teeth and growl, “Don't even try it, bitch. Or I'll tear you limb from surgery enhanced limb.”

  Ricardo looks taken back and Marlene takes a few steps closer to me. I don't hesitate to let her finally have it.

  She screams when I pull my hand back and send a punch straight into her ugly face. “That's for sucking his dick!” I scream.

  She reaches for a napkin to stop the blood, which means she isn't prepared when I issue my next punch, which is even harder than the first. “And that's for trying to take my man!”

  She yelps but I don't care. I'm not done with her yet. I snatch her hair and bash her head into the table. “And that's for not giving me any more goddamn wine!”

  I feel a strong arm wrap around my waist. “Jesus Christ, you gonna do something about this, DeLuca?” Ricardo yells as he hauls me back from a now very bloody Marlene.

  Bruno glares at me. “Marlene, go upstairs and get cleaned up.”

  “You're not firing her!” I scream.

  “You just assaulted her,” he snaps.

  “Since when have you ever given a fuck about the law before?”

  “She has you there,” Ricardo whispers.

  “Go upstairs and get the rest of your things,” Bruno orders.

  “Wait,” Ricardo says while releasing me from his hold. “You sure you're okay to make it up all those stairs by yourself, Mike Tyson?”

  “I'll be fine,” I say before I run out of the dining room—but not before screaming, “Fuck you, you prick,” while giving Bruno the finger.

  When I get up to my bedroom, I throw whatever things that bitch Marlene didn't pack, which was pretty much everything, into a few suitcases.

  It's funny, I have about five suitcases stacked in one of my closets and I've never once used any of them.

  That's when it occurs to me, maybe this is a fresh start for me after all.

  I can't believe all the years I've wasted on him. I can't believe what I let him do to me.

  The door behind me closes and I jump. A pair of arms wraps around my waist before I feel Bruno nuzzle my neck. “I love you so much, Bambina,” he whispers.

  Now, I'm truly baffled. Not only is he telling me he loves me for only the second time ever in my life, but he's telling me this after breaking my heart.

  “But you just—”

  He puts a finger to my lips, silencing me. “You honestly think I could ever give you up, Lucianna?”

  I shake my head. “I don't understand what's going on.”

  He sits on the bed and pulls me close to him. “I would never give you up, not in a million years. I just need you to do something for me.”

  “What?”

  “I need you to go undercover and keep an eye out.”

  “Huh?”

  “My son has gotten very close to the two men he's training. I wanted him to coach them as a way to get him to become closer to me in hopes that it would eventually lead to him to taking over when I'm gone. However, I have a feeling that's not the way things are going to pan out anymore. He looks at those two men like they're his brothers. It's disturbing. I think his loyalty lies with them rather than his actual family.”

  “So? I don't get what the problem is. If he doesn't want to be a mob boss, then why does he have to be one?”

  His grabs my wrist so hard I wince. “Because he's a DeLuca. He's the only son I will ever have and he needs to live up to his name. He needs to take my place when I'm gone.”

  “Okay,” I whisper. “I get it...now can you let go? You're hurting me.”

  He ignores me and continues talking, “I need you to be my spy for the next few months. Maybe longer, depending on how necessary I think it is.”

  “What sort of information do you need?”

  “It's not information I need so much as I need you to become a permanent fixture in their life. Stir the pot a little between the three of them. Make their friendship fall apart.”

  “How?”

  He releases my wrist and I stumble backward. “How do you think?”

  I shrug. “Beats me.”

  He stands up and yanks on my arm until I fall on my knees. “Nothing stirs up a friendship between three men like a pretty girl does.”

  I can hardly believe my ears. “You want me to sleep with them?”

  He clicks his tongue and runs his thumb across my lips. “No. Never. Your pussy is for me and me only. You know that. Don't ever let me catch you giving another man what's all mine. You hear me?”

  I nod and relief flows through me, until he says, “But you will give them your mouth.”

  His thumb presses on my lower lip until my mouth opens and he slides his thumb inside. “You will seduce them, suck them off and make them think you're the next best thing since sliced bread. I want them to fight over you, ready to tear each other's hearts out.”

  “What if Ricardo catches on?”

  “Then you distract him until he's so drunk off you he can't think straight. Until he's willing to sacrifice his 'so called brothers' and takes his rightful place in the family. Trust me, I know my son. A beautiful woman always does the trick. Hell, he was almost putty in your hands when he thought you were about to cry before.”

  “What makes you think I can accomplish all this?”

  “Bambina, you managed to make the most feared mob boss in all of New York fall in love with you. And I don't even like anyone. I think you can manage to seduce a few young men until they go crazy.”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  “Positive.”

  “I guess I don't really have a choice then. When will I see you?”

  “I'll be out of town for a little while on business but I'll make time for you when I can and I'll call you a few times a week so you can keep me updated.”

  “Will you miss me?”

  He picks me up off the ground and kisses my forehead. “You know I will.”

  “Okay. I'll do it for you, mio amore.”

  “Good girl.”

  I look at my suitcase but he grabs my jaw and forces me to look at him. “This is not a vacation. You're on a special assignment, Lucianna.”

  I nod but his face hardens and his fingers dig into my skin. ”And I meant what I said—do not fuck them. If I even suspect otherwise, I swear to God...I'll slit your goddamn throat and kill the motherfucker.”

  I swallow hard. “I understand. Don't worry, Bruno. I would never do that to you.”

  Chapter 3 (Ricardo)

  I shake my head as I watch her teeter and totter to my car in her high heels. She's so wasted she looks like a baby deer taking her very first steps.

  I knew all that wine was going to catch up to her before we left.

  I dig my keys out of my pocket and a hand clamps down on my shoulder. “Wait a minute, son.”

  I grit my teeth because I hate it when he calls me 'son'. I swear he only uses the term to get under my skin.

  And to remind me exactly who I am.

  I turn around and face him. “Can you make it quick? I'm trying to make it back to the city before the end of the weekend traffic hits.”

  The Hampton's are swamped during weekends in the summer and making the drive back with a drunk girl as my passenger isn't particularly my idea of fun.

  Christ, she better not puke in my mustang.

  “This will only take a second.” His gaze drifts to my car where his girlfriend is currently sitting shotgun with her head in her hands.

  “I'll be going to Italy for a month on business. I trust that you'll take care of the club for me when I'm gone?”

  “Yeah,” I tell him.

  Why he's
even bothering to tell me this shit, is beyond me, however, I am happy to hear that he'll be out of my hair for a little while.

  His gaze turns hard when his eyes shift back to me. “I trust that you'll take care of my bambina for me as well?”

  “Pardon?”

  “I need you to take care of her for me. This is the longest I'll be away from her and I'm worried.”

  “So why don't you take her with you?”

  He looks in her direction again. “She's never been on her own before. She's never had her independence.”

  “That's probably because she's still a fucking teenager,” I say under my breath.

  “She'll be 24 at the end of the month,” he snaps. “Anyway, I don't want anyone at the club knowing the extent of my involvement with her because it will make her an easy target for my enemies. Understood?”

  When I nod he continues, “I fear that some asshole may take advantage of her since they won't know she's connected to me.”

  His eyes soften. “She's the most important person in the world to me and I don't want anything happening to her.”

  I fight the urge to laugh. I can't believe this 5-foot-nothing, firecracker with the big brown doe eyes is his weak spot.

  He puffs out his chest. “I want her to have her independence, but not at the expense of her safety. That's why I'm entrusting you to look after her. That's the real reason I hired her as a ring girl.”

  He looks down. “I know if there's one person in the world I can trust with my most prized possession, it's my own son.” He looks at me. “Right?”

  “Right,” I say.

  It's not so much that I'm necessarily in agreement...it's just that I want him to think I am.

  Having DeLuca as an ally is much better than having him as an enemy. There's not a line in this world the man won't bulldozer over to get his way. His evil knows no bounds...I've seen him do things that could make a demon cry.

  He laughs deep and sinister and if I was a lesser man, I'd be nervous right now. “Besides, if I couldn't trust you—well then; I'd just have to hit you where it really hurts.”

  I open my mouth but shut it when he says, “You know, your friends Tyrone and Jackson.”

  And therein lies the drawback to letting people in and caring about them.