When Its Least Expected

by Heather Van Fleet

  She gaped, and her mouth hung open as she watched him turn on his heels to leave. The

  door slammed in his wake, and she cringed. Her brows narrowed, and confusion swept over her.

  What were they hiding from her?

  Harley glared over at her mother with accusing eyes. The same accusing words were on

  the tip of her tongue. David and Abigail took the opportunity away for Harley to question her some more when they came crashing into the room together. She groaned at their loud laughter, and David’s voice interrupted her angry thoughts.

  “Well look at you, sis. You’re finally awake! How’re you feeling?” he wheeled to the

  foot of her bed and patted her foot.

  Extreme exhaustion plagued his eyes and dark lines hugged his lids. His smile, however,

  was bright, too bright maybe.

  “I’m okay. Tired and, um, feeling slightly hung over too, but okay.” Harley paused to

  look down at her hands. They were shaking. Why were they shaking?

  “Your sister needs some rest, David. Let’s leave her until after lunch. The doctors said we could take her home then.” She stared up at her mom again. The lady looked absolutely

  terrifying. “I’m glad you’re okay, honey, but you’re still in some serious trouble when you get home. Drinking again. Jeez, Harley, you’re seventeen years old! What were you thinking?”

  Harley looked back down at her still trembling hands and shrugged. She wasn’t thinking.

  She was stupid, dumb, and a fool, and stupid, dumb, foolish girls just didn’t think – especially when they had newly broken hearts.

  “But what about the other doctor, Mom? They said—”

  “David, shut up, seriously.” Abigail stepped forward, and whacked David square in his

  chest. Harley cringed turning her head into the pillow. She knew exactly who David was

  referring to – the loony-bin doctor.

  She’d been there, done that, and was so not cool with going there again. She wasn’t

  suicidal, just stupid and clueless.

  “I love you Har, and I’m not trying to be mean here. I just need to understand.” Harley

  nodded. She needed to understand too. “Get some rest, and we will be back around three to take you home.” Harley’s mom leaned down, brushing a matted curl from Harley’s eyes. She kissed

  her on the forehead.

  Harley didn’t respond other than one curt nod of her head. She couldn’t talk. Her insides

  were too raw and too embarrassed over what she’d done.

  David and Abigail might have said goodbye too, but Harley didn’t notice. She was too

  lonely on the inside to be consoled by anyone on the outside.

  Fifteen minutes after their exit, a nurse came in, and to Harley’s complete surprise, she

  was bogged down with the biggest bouquet of pink roses she’d ever seen. Her eyes widened.

  There had to be at least four dozen there! The familiar fragrance filled her nose, and a small smile graced her mouth. Only one guy gave her hot pink roses.

  “Hi, glad to see you are finally awake, Harley. Can I get you some Tylenol for pain?”

  “Yes, please. That’d be great, thanks.” Harley cleared her throat as she sat up, thankfully without the nausea and dizziness this time. “Um, was there, like, a card or anything that came with those?” She scrunched her nose, motioning towards the beautiful bouquet that stretched across the windowsill. The nurse smiled and nodded, handing her a crisp white envelope.

  “Somebody must love you, honey, because those are absolutely beautiful.” Harley

  blushed, but her smile widened as she impatiently ripped opened the seal. “I’m just going to take your vitals, and then I’ll leave you be until the psychologist can come down to speak with you, okay?”

  Harley nodded too intrigued and curious with the written words to reply to the lady’s

  annoyingly bad news.

  The more the red, foreboding ink glared up at her, the more the words began to run

  together. It was all a blur like she was living in a fog. No emotions. No hatred. No love.

  Nothingness consumed her ability to feel.

  Yet her hands still shook, and her eyes watered too. How could she possibly feel and not

  feel at the exact same time? Had the meds and alcohol conflicted that badly with her emotions and personality? Or was this just going to be her natural reaction from now on?

  She barely noticed when the nurse left the room. The letter consumed her and stole her

  from reality. It took every bit of her happily ever after and shoved it down into the pits of hell.

  No matter the bad consequences, she couldn’t stop reading it…

  My little beast,

  I’m writing this letter from my room, at four o’clock in the morning, and it’s absolutely killing me to know that you have to read this while you’re still in the hospital. But it has to be done, there’s no other way around it anymore.

  I’m so sorry for letting a relationship between us get so out of hand. It’s in my blood to screw up, and I selfishly thought that maybe, for once, I could get it right with you.

  I was wrong. I’ve never been more wrong about anything in my life.

  From the first moment I saw you, I somehow knew that you were the only girl I was ever

  destined to care for. I could see it as clear as a summer sky, and I knew, for your sake, that I should have walked away the night we first met. But I was selfish, Harley, and I couldn’t do it. In fact, I did the complete opposite, and I went and fell in love you. I fell in love with your hair that resembles my favorite ocean waves, your eyes that are darker then the muddy brown sand on the beach after the high tide lowers. I fell in love with your heart, your desire to love

  unconditionally, and your willingness to accept and see me for the person I could have been.

  I never told you what “little beast” meant, and I’m sure you’ve been bothered by it the entire time we’ve been together. I figured now is as good as time as ever to tell you, so here I go.

  When I surf, it’s the most exhilarating experience in the world. I feel like I’m flying on the water, with the wind in my hair, and the salty ocean surrounding me. I feel one with the waves, like they’re actually a part of me. I’m on a high when I surf. Just like the high I’m on whenever I’m with you.

  Surfing is serene, almost as if I’m taming the waves myself, while they rock my world in a way nobody truly understands but me.

  Back home, my dad and I used to call the waves beasts because they were always so

  powerful and so captivating, just like you, Har, except for the fact that you are beyond just powerful and captivating to me. You’re strong, you’re beautiful, and you’re completely

  empowering. Not quite as big, obviously, but still just as consuming.

  YOU, Harley Ann, are my beast.

  My perfect wave, my high, my one, true love.

  This is the hard part though, the one thing that I didn’t think I could do, but have to anyways. I’m leaving, Harley. I’m going back to Santa Cruz. I booked a last minute flight, and I’m getting ready to go to the airport as we speak. I understand that you probably hate me and think that I’m a complete chicken shit for doing this in a letter. You know me, though. Letters are my specialty.

  I love you Harley Ann. I think I’ve always loved you actually. And I know now, more than ever, that I always will. I’m no good for you though, and if I stay around any longer, then I will most likely only hurt you more than I already have. So please, hate me, with everything you have

  … but please don’t hate my sister. She’s going to need you, almost as much as I will always need you myself. I know I don’t have any right to ask this of you, but I needed to at least try.

  Take care of yourself, live life to its fullest, and don’t take anyone’s bull shit either. And more than anything … please know that our time together, will a
lways be the happiest moments of my life.

  I love you.

  Always…

  Forever…

  Mason

  The paper slipped from her fingers, landing on the tile with a whispered swoosh. Harley’s

  insides turned to stone no longer running on any high or any low. It was emptiness, a feeling she knew all too well. She was a vessel of darkness, and it was all because she opened her heart to a boy who she probably already knew would somehow stomp on its remainders.

  The sound of the doctor’s voice pierced through the empty sounding room breaking

  Harley from her anguished void. She sat up. A pained, fake smile covered her lips as the doctor stared sternly at her over his glasses.

  Harley blinked. Now, more than ever, she had to go home. The hospital and its white,

  blank walls only meant pain and suffering. She had to find a way to rise above that.

  Unfortunately, the pink flowers surrounding her served as a reminder that even a splash of color thrown in now and then didn’t always help.

  “Hello, Miss Anderson. I’m Dr. Donaldson, and I’m here for your psych consultation.”

  Harley raised her hand and shook his outstretched palm. She decided right then and there, that she was going to take back control of her life

  And surprisingly, Mason’s heartbreaking letter was what gave her the courage to do just

  that.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Four months … twenty two days … three hours later.

  “Holy hell, Har, you do realize that in a matter of two weeks, we’ll officially be high

  school graduates?” Abigail threw another cheese ball at Harley’s face, finally hitting her mouth that time. She heaved one back before jumping off the couch, eager to get away from the hideous show they were watching.

  “I know. It’s crazy to think that this chapter of our lives is almost over.” Harley hollered over her shoulder just as the sound of the doorbell interrupted a screeching noise on the TV.

  “David, get in here and watch this show! The lady’s stockpiling her dead cats this

  week!”

  Harley laughed. Abigail’s cartoon arms frantically swooped through the air. David

  chuckled in the distance, most likely enjoying the spazzing of Abigail’s voice. Harley sighed as she grabbed her wallet and went to the door. It was good they were on friendly terms again.

  They’d joined forces for her after she’d gotten out of the hospital and without their constant presence over the past four or so months, moving on would have been that much more difficult.

  Harley let out a strangle yip at the site standing on the other side of the threshold. Maisy.

  She stood there, bouncing up and down on her heels, a nervous twitch ever present in her cheek.

  It’s wasn’t that Harley didn’t see the girl anymore. In fact she always made a point to see Maisy at least once a day at school, but to have her show up at her house was a shocker.

  “Hey, Harley, you busy?” Still stunned, eyes wide open, Harley put on her Martha

  Stewart mom hosting skills and enveloped Maisy in a hug.

  “Not at all, Maisy! Come in. How are you?” She guided Harley inside by her arm and the

  poor girl’s entire body went stiff.

  Crappity crap. Something was wrong.

  Harley’s mind began to race, and her heart began to pound. Was it him? Was it …

  Mason? Was he hurt? Sick? She sucked in a breath, holding it until Maisy spoke.

  “I’m not doing so well, Har. My, um, Grandpa … he passed away this morning. I just

  need someone to talk to, you know? Aric and I are, um, over now, my mom’s a hot mess, and my brother, um, well, you know.” Maisy shrugged, her entire body seemed to sag as she stared down at the carpet.

  Harley exhaled, saddened for Maisy’s loss, for her pain but thankful too that Mason was

  okay, even though any thoughts of Mason weren’t exactly welcomed.

  Four months, twenty-two days, and three very, long hours. That’s how long it’d been

  since she last heard his voice or spoken his name out loud … since the night he’d broken her soul. She shook her head and sighed. That was all the moping she was going to allow herself to do today.

  She squeezed Maisy’s shoulders. “Well, you came to the right spot,” Harley cleared her

  throat just as Maisy lifted her head. A small, sad smile graced her mouth when she nodded in response. “Abs and I were just waiting for the pizza guy, so come on in a wait with us!”

  Harley winked, locking her arm through Maisy’s as she pulled her towards the living

  room. David had finally meandered in sometime along the way, surely looking for the promise of pizza. Apparently the heated battle over the remote control with Abs was winning out over the promise of anything.

  “Are they…?” Maisy whispered, gesturing her hands towards the giggling bodies as they

  tickled and pushed one another. Abigail was on his lap, and Mason was in his chair. Yeah, they were definitely back to normal again.

  Harley smiled sadly, shaking her head. “No,” she sighed. “And I’m not sure if they ever

  will be.” She glanced down at Masiy just as she nodded all-knowingly up at her. It was pretty bad when everybody knew what was meant to be except the two people who actually counted.

  Abigail apparently spotted Maisy first. A small squeal of excitement brought Harley’s

  focus back to the never-gonna-happen couple. “Well lookie who we have here. It’s the littlest Daniel. Come on in! Hoarders is rockin’ tonight! You like that show?”

  Maisy nodded enthusiastically, biting her lip. She joined Abs as she moved off of David’s

  lap and back onto the couch. David wheeled up next to Harley. His voice was a whisper as he spoke. “You okay, sis?”

  Harley nodded, a gloomy smile barely made its way onto her face. Yeah, she was okay,

  but her heart on the other hand, that was a different story altogether.

  David stared back up at her. Love and adoration were apparent on his face. She groaned.

  Those dang pity-me’s kept creeping up on her. Luckily she had her brother. He’d been there for her since the moment she came home from the hospital.

  He dried her tears, took her painful verbal blows, and graced her with his smiles each and

  every time she didn’t think she could make it through another day. David was the one person Harley could count on to understand her through and through. He always seemed to anticipate Harley’s imminent melt down, but thankfully, unlike after Aiden’s death, it never came.

  David had come a long way since Harley’s incident as well. He graduated early, even

  agreeing to partake in the school’s upcoming ceremony. Basically he’d become her greatest

  inspiration.

  Anxiety was a bitch, her worst enemy actually, but with the strength of her family and

  Abigail, she’d made it through the situation unscathed.

  The remainder of the evening was actually a lot of fun. They’d all sat around together

  laughing, talking, and enjoying each other’s company. Maisy seemingly relaxed too, and

  Harley’s heavy heart lightened just a little bit more because of it. If Harley couldn’t have Mason in her life, then she was more than happy to have his sweet little sister as her friend instead.

  As the night came to a close, Harley couldn’t resist the one question she’d been dying to

  ask as she walked Maisy to the door. She squeezed her eyes shut, gripping the door frame as she stepped in front of Maisy to block her way.

  “Wait, Maisy. I’m sorry, but I have to know. How is he?” She held her breath, preparing

  for the inevitable he’s fantastic to fall from her mouth.

  She shrugged, “He’s okay, I guess. I haven’t talked to him much.”

  Harley studied Maisy. Her lips twitched, and a small sigh had left her mo
uth. Was she

  lying? Maisy was never a short answer kind of girl. “It hurts though, ya know? He’s my brother.

  He told me he’d always be here for me even if he wasn’t physically here.”

  “I’m sorry, Maisy. I had no idea.”

  “It’s not your fault, Har. I think he’s just more focused on surfing and stuff right now

  than anything.” She shrugged, fidgeting with the ends of her blonde hair.

  Deciding a subject change was in order, so Harley looked down at Maisy’s hands. They

  were empty. Had she walked there? “Hey wait a sec, Maisy. How are you getting home? You’re

  not walking, are you?” Her house wasn’t far, but the idea of little Maisy walking home by herself at eleven at night wasn’t cool.

  “I’ll be okay. It’s not that far. Promise.” She threw on her lightweight jacket and stepped into her pink flip flops, but good old Abigail stepped up behind her before she had a chance to actually leave.

  “Come on, kid. I’ll take you home since we’re neighbors and all.”

  “Are you sure?” Her eyes beamed with warmth at Abigail’s suggestion.

  “Of course, it’s not like it’s out of my way or anything.” Abigail turned to Harley, giving her a quick sideways hug before hollering another good bye towards David.

  After the door was closed and locked up tight, Harley turned around and leaned her head

  against the glass window, eyes closing as she pondered everything that had happened.

  It was definitely was an interesting evening.

  Mason wheeled towards her, and she stared down at him. He opened his mouth as if he

  had something to say, but Harley stopped him with a quick flick of her hand.

  “Don’t say anything, David. I already know what you’re thinking.” He frowned at her,

  rubbing a hand over his chin and mouth. Slight stubble had formed along his jaw. She grinned.

  He looked more like their dad every day.

  Harley moved around him to sit at the couch. She kicked her feet up on the cushions,

  easing down into the seat. She blew out a breath, her mind racing with more questions. Her eyes demanded a nap instead.

  “I knew that dude was trouble the moment I met him, Har. Didn’t you hear his sister? He