The Carnage Trilogy (Book 2): Humanities Contingency [You Will Lose Yourself]

by Birch, Matthew

  “JOEY”

  What?

  “JOEY, PLEASE!”

  Someone’s calling my name-

  “WHY WON’T YOU HELP ME?”

  Who is that?! I haven’t got a trace of where it is emanating from! I’m coming! Running as fast as I can! Legs burning, joints are screaming. Too sudden, too soon-

  “DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?”

  Breaking out into a full-fledged sprint, I take my rifle off my back and dash into the darkness. I hear it again. Someone’s voice, I don’t know whose. They’re close. It’s somewhere. Not a group, nor a collective, just one voice, but it screams in all directions-

  “Joey...”

  Always moving, they are here, there, and everywhere!

  “Joey”

  A young boy’s voice, so close, so intimate now...

  “Over here, Joey”

  I turn a corner, search a tree, and inspect a bush-

  “COME AND FIND ME JOEY!”

  Ultimately, I am left in another clearing-

  “SAVE ME!”

  And I am all alone.

  “Joey?” The stillness of the twilight never truly feels the same. This time, the voice is feminine. I look up to see Alice in a nearby tree? Travelling towards her, in the light of the moon, I see her resting far above me. Was it her this entire time? No, she’s not a young boy. She’s a grown-up girl. What is happening-?

  “Are you okay?” She asks nicely.

  “What are you doing so far away from camp?” I send right back at her.

  We’re both as perplexed by each other as we are about what we are doing. She shrugs her shoulders.

  “That will get you killed,” I remark. Alice stiffens, merely shrugging for a minor response. It’ll do. Lamenting, I sink downwards corresponding to the side of the tree she perches in.

  “I heard a voice...”

  “Whose?”

  “I don’t know, just a young boys voice...”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks again, and this time I answer honestly.

  “No, something is wrong with my head... Did you hear anything?” My insanity kicks in, forcing me to confirm the legitimacy of the gruelling, terrified screams I heard...

  “Well, you’ll be happy to know the voice you heard isn’t real... You might have a severe form of paranoia?” Diagnosing me like a doctor, Alice tends to my mental state. We don’t look at one another. She from the tree watches the stars. I from below, contemplate the leads in my cerebral demise. We do the same thing, our conversation being shared between us as we look to above.

  Resting my head back against the tree, I look up; Alice looks down. “You are just hearing things” She flashes an adorable smile, and I feel relieved for a second. Though, while she is being so nice, it doesn’t hide the fact she is doing nothing more than stating the obvious. I am hearing things, so vividly and clearly. It’s not normal.

  “I am hearing things, I agree. You know, maybe this is some sort of schizophrenia” Piecing together the puzzle of my fragile mind, I figure out that maybe I am more broken than I realise.

  “It might be... From all the trauma of losing people?” Alice rhetorically says to me. I don’t answer her statement. Staying silent, I look at the stars again.

  “Could the little boy’s voice relate to anything?”

  Ah, well...

  Tommy.

  My stomach feels sick, my heart twists on itself, and my brain hurts from the very thought of it. That voice; it was Tommy. My little nephew who was mercilessly killed, I’m hearing him. The paranoia is all from him. He died and lives on in the back of my mind. Always lurking, reminding me I should have done more...

  Tears empty themselves from my eyes - nothing stops the emotions that leave me. I am crying, I will not stop, sometimes; all you need is to just let it out...

  A loud thump lands beside me; I glance to my side to see a worried Alice kneeling beside me. “Everything will be okay; we’re all suffering in our own ways... The easiest way to fight it is to talk about it before it is too late...” She says it so simply like she is a therapist I’ve been seeing for years. She’s just a young girl, a teenager, yet, here she is, amidst the apocalypse helping a crying man twice her height and size...

  “Remember, communication is a must! Chloe taught me that”

  Wiping my eyes, and drenching my clothes, I nod, saying, “Chloe is wise... I should probably talk with her more” Smiling, I let her know I am okay. Returning the look, Alice awkwardly presses her thump into the point of my nose while saying the word, “Boop”

  Um...?

  Standing up, Alice begins walking back to camp. Maya is in the distance, calling out her name. Placing my head in my hands, I think to myself, ‘You need to keep a clear head...’

  Or else...

  Chapter 5 - Inside Turmoil

  Joey

  I’ve learnt a lot of interesting things today. Mostly from Ed who told us more in-depth stories from his groups past up north, frequently lecturing us about the intelligence of the monsters that followed them, observed them, and studied them. Are we just lab rats? Are we against a disease or a species? Their leader, who led them as if they were a pack, acting almost human-like, while the other monsters had their own unique abilities, he among them all had the worst trait of them all - Leadership. He could lead them, direct them, and command them. What does this mean for us? They are still out there, and we are none the wiser to their whereabouts. I’m not even the one directly talking with Ed about this; it’s Callum who wanted the chance to get to know him. Our stories sound like children’s play next to what they had to cope through. The pack leader, who could stand on his hind legs, while also being outlandish in his height, spoke of something called ‘The Carnage’.

  So far we’ve figured out it might have been implying either an event that was still to take place, or it’s an entity we are still yet to meet. Either way, it’s really perturbing my paranoia. The worst part is, not knowing is killing me inside, but knowing the facts behind it scares me even more.

  Soon enough, in our journeys off road in the woods, I disband myself from the group bit by bit. Ed’s getting teary about someone called Marcus, and from my conversation with Maya, I don’t want to learn any more about the good people in this world who died so that the rest of could live. We’ve fought monsters, although nothing on the level they have. Our battles mostly reside with one another plus other humans. This is miserable on a different degree.

  Frisking my side, someone tugs at my arm-

  Looking left, my eyes point down to find Ryan. “I need to talk to you” He’s nimble, his small stature allowing to him to weave us away from everyone else. Behind the group now, our distance is created and no one bats an eye. We are invisible. We keep pace, just out of earshot, and view.

  “What the hell is your problem?” Slapping his hand away from my body, I turn on him, grabbing him by the cuffs of his jacket. Anger breaks me down. I don’t know what it is. I just want to punch him. I want to see him hurt. I can’t deal with any more problems. The drama, the annoyance, it irritates me. Why can’t everyone just leave me alone for five fucking minutes!

  “Relax, I don’t know who else to talk to!” Whimpering under my almighty power, I lift the smaller man up and off the ground. My strength is unparalleled compared to the rest of the group. Lifting all the heaviest equipment around kinda just supplements my ability at this point.

  What am I doing? Are you serious Joey? Don’t kid yourself. Put him down before one of you gets hurt.

  “What are you talking about?” Lowering him, I leave him be.

  With his freedom retained, he resumes. “I’ve been studying, and I am starting to think the northern group have something to do with Daniel’s death”

  Neglecting him, I thrust past him. “There’s no evidence of that. Seriously, why would you even say that? Don’t talk to me again-”

  “Shut up and listen for a moment-”

  Is this asshole serious? All I do is lend
my ear. All I do is give a shoulder to cry on. All I do is most of the work here. The only person so far to have properly been there for me is Alice. How dare he even tell me of ALL PEOPLE TO SHUT UP-

  “Maya has something to do with it!” Crazed, Ryan conclusively declares something worthy of my attention. So, Maya is the suspect? How she’s suspicious, I don’t know. Ryan and Maya have never spoken as far as I am aware. Never meet the others eye either. Always awkward, I’d go as far to say they keep their distance intentionally. She’s always getting anxious, agitated even, only when they are near one another. Add on the fact that she always turns to Ed for comfort for something no one else knows is a curious detail. Nah, I’m just insane. They always used to tell me that the quiet ones notice the most, seeing everything in the world and everyone in it has to offer. I see everything, even if I don’t realise it. Brain, why do you keep finding things I don’t care about?

  I’m gonna just disregard everything I’ve thought. Maya is lovely. I couldn’t ever hold anything against her. Smirking, I turn this whole endeavour back on Ryan. “In all fairness, you’re kind of a creep Ryan”

  Angry and upset, Ryan wails about like a fish out of water. Man’s got balls, I’d say he was tough at one point, now the world has matched him, and he’s as pathetic as they come. “No one takes me seriously. My brother is D.E.A.D and it’s like none of you cares...”

  Guilt tripping now, well, I’ll say this, its working. I never really liked Ryan anyway, but now, I am starting to feel like the rest of us are bullying him when his brother died scouting ahead for any threats that could endanger the rest of us. He did it so we wouldn’t have to face the trouble that befell us when we lost Tommy...

  If that ever happened to Lola, I would never be able to live with myself. At the moment I am barely getting by without hearing voices beckoning for me to follow. Choosing to help, I throw charity at Ryan. “We can’t just go throwing accusations around. If you’re wrong, then it will cause a lot of trouble”

  “I can’t be sure either-” Ryan tells me?

  “I thought you were certain?” I respond highly.

  Ryan is sickened of me, he just pokes his finger into my chest. “Something is off... I just don’t know what”

  Pushing him away, I heave the rucksack back up onto my shoulders where it had been slipping off and continue walking. Up ahead, I see the group has gone a little too far. Even worse is that we haven’t been noted as missing yet. Wow, great group guys. “The next chance we get, we will talk to Callum. He’ll know what to do-

  “I’ll know how to do what?” Callum appears like a magician. My heart skips a beat as my hands rush to the gun strapped to me. Ryan just froze, which is never a good sign. “Why are you two walking so far back? I let the group walk on ahead as we aren’t too far from our next objective”

  On cue, Ryan opens fire like the cannons of old, saying everything he can in the space of twenty seconds. Rolling my eyes, I ignore the blabbering fool who gets too close to Callum’s personal bubble. Never, ever, pop the bubble. Rudely, but deservingly, Callum knocks Ryan back, forcing him into a nearby tree. Ryan gawks like a chicken as he is roughly manhandled into the base of the tree. These trees aren’t thick nor are they strong. It rattles like an instrument, and leaves fall gracefully around us.

  “Will you stop making up stupid fucking lies that will get everyone killed!” Taking a note from my book, Callum plays the no-drama card.

  “I swear Maya did it!” Ryan confronts the reality that he doesn’t have an inkling of what he’s talking about anymore. Sinking away, Ryan slips away from Callum.

  “We can’t go throwing accusations around without evidence!” Callum spits in his face, as per usual is their relationship.

  Butting back in now, I can’t help but point out, “I said that too! Great minds think alike!”

  Callum, grinning suddenly, clicks his tongue at me and points his fingers in my direction. “Hey, I guess that’s why we’re brothers!”

  Having cracked like a bad, gone off, disgusting, decaying, putrid egg, Ryan flips psychologically. Not in the way you would expect though. More, quiet, simple, dangerous. He no longer tries, cutting himself off from us. Callum and I know this is bad news. Ryan is a pathetic dude, but when he gets like this...

  His mind could be thinking anything. It could range from working down at the local charity to burning down the nearest orphanage. Without any orphanages left, he’ll have to turn to one of us as the substitute. Ryan, not looking at either of us, ends with, “I know I am not popular around here. That won’t stop me from getting the justice my brother deserves. They came in the same direction he did”

  Walking again, we make our move so we can finally catch up with the group. Thinking about this for a second, it seems that it makes sense when you put it like that. Daniel went in the exact same direction they came from. Not even a day later and they came, and he was gone.

  “I remember asking the northern group that, they said they never bumped into anyone? Not one of them ever mentioned Daniel” Callum remembers strenuously about the day after we had first met them. A lot of questioning and waiting about for Daniel was done, no results were achieved. “I’m sorry Ryan” Callum consoles Ryan now. Determination doesn’t last, Ryan is already looking hopeless. Unless what about them? The same gang that did us wrong, the same gang that, killed Tommy.

  “It could be that same gang; they were in that direction as well right?” I think this point might be the best one I’ve made so far.

  “Those filthy fucking assholes...” Seething through his teeth, Callum unknowingly clenches his fists as his whole demeanour is twisted into a contorted, burning rage that is yet to explode. The schedule is still unknown as to when this will arrive.

  Discouraged, Ryan cracks past the point of anger and grief. Crying openly, we have our first bout of sympathy for him. “I’m sorry; I just miss Daniel so much...” He whimpers.

  I can’t imagine losing Callum. Judging by the look Callum sends me; our in sync minds are definitely thinking the same thing. Callum and I have been insensitive assholes to someone who got reckless, paranoid, and depressed because he lost someone close to him.

  Like Maya said, we’ve all lost people; we need to be there for each other. Faith in one another is how we retain our humanity. Ryan lost his faith; he didn’t retain his humanity for some time. Almost feral like, he was driven to the brink of losing himself completely, I am happy we had this time to do this. I think this has been a huge step forward for us all.

  The group needs to stay strong, we will survive. So much is going on beneath the surface of this. Not the group, but the world around us. From the gang that killed Tommy to the mysterious Carnage that may or may not exist...

  Or even the whereabouts of the non-existent creatures. Graver are the monsters that have yet to show their ugly mugs...

  What is next? Just get to Valbury Port, and we will be free...

  Chapter 6 - West

  Chloe

  Dragging my sore feet, my weak physique accelerates past the brink of exhaustion. Each step feels heavier than the last. As if a weight climbs onto my body, I become steadily more and more encumbered. Callum keeps us marching like a squadron of soldiers on a mission. Never thought I would think this either; I truly believe Ed has lost it. Both Callum and Ed are agreeing with one another, and it is making our lives hell. Tiredly trampling along the highway, the group and I work together as we avoid dangerous debris, crashed cars, and ashy remains of what once was. We pass whole junctions of untouched cars that been scavenged for all they are worth. Doors pried off, gas sucked free, some of them have been broken down bit by bit for means we are still unsure of. We are all in speculation of what people have done whilst travelling along this route. My guess is that we aren’t the only ones left. Others who got the military’s message are travelling to Valbury for the same reason we are.

  Pacing myself, I sluggishly drop back a little bit and purposely rest against a white, dusty barricade th
e military had put up. The closer we get to the second largest coastal city this island has to offer, the more remains we find of civilisation when it was at its most desperate.

  First was the saddening sight of all the people who would’ve been evacuated from the city. Huge areas have been jotted around the outskirts of the highway where families and more went for salvation. Now, smouldering remnants and skeletons are all that remains. Picked clean for the feast, the area shows signs of monster activity. Callum shouts up ahead, and I lift my weary skull to peer on down beyond a protective formation of police cars. Each one is as rusty and useless as the next.

  “I think they were trying to keep something in...” A voice says beside me. Not even fazed by the unforeseen interaction, I loaf my body to the right. Joey stands there; panting tiredly as he slowly slips his burden of the rucksack off his shoulders and to the ground. “Look at how it is positioned, the whole area. During the chaos, when everyone thought they were safe, the creatures and monsters left in swarms from the city. Trapped them, encircled them, killed them...”