A Hope and a Chance

by Jennifer Foor

  I never imagined I’d find her. It’d never occurred to me that she was what I’d always needed. Today had been effortless; being around her came natural to me. As she pulled my arms around her tighter, I finally felt like I wasn’t alone. She had filled a void that I thought would never be satisfied; one I never really wanted to fill again. Until now.

  As the night sky fell upon us, I wished for more time. I didn’t know how I could do it, how I could let her slip away from me. She knew that my attempts to ignore her in the past month were only to hide my true feelings. She knew now how much I wanted her, but, what she didn’t understand was that I needed her. I needed her to listen when I had a bad day, to hold me when I was upset, and to accept me for everything that had happened in my past.

  She didn’t know that as we sat in the lifeguard chair I held her close because I physically didn’t want to let her go. If I could have stayed there forever I would have.

  A bar on the boardwalk had a band playing and the music filled the air with a beautiful sound.

  Before I could stop myself or consider where it would lead, I made an announcement. “Hope, I think this has been the best day of my life.”

  She turned around and looked at me. Her eyes glistened from the bright moon above. She slowly pressed her lips against mine. The moment only intensified when I felt her tongue dragging. I opened my mouth greedily and accepted her. Hope brought her legs around and straddled me. I slid my hands beneath her dress, and stuck them inside the elastic of her panties on each cheek. As she kissed me deeper I squeezed, causing her to begin rocking against me.

  I sucked on the side of her chin and then her ear lobe, finally licking down her neck. Her hands reached up my shirt. It was easy to push her panties to the side and slide right in. The dark night allowed us privacy as my girlfriend slowly moved above me. I don’t think either of us took a breather as continued kisses motivated the pace at which we were moving. When I felt like I was close I lifted her off of me, making sure she wasn’t left with a mess on our long ride home.

  Afterwards I held her again. She leaned her forehead into mine, letting her lips linger so close to my own. “Chance, I need to ask you something.”

  I could feel her hot breath against my face, making it obvious that at any moment I could tease her with my tongue. “Anything.” I looked directly into her eyes when I answered.

  “Take me home and be with me. As much as I love being here like this with you, I’d rather be in your bed, making love.”

  I pulled her closer, kissing her deeply. Without another word, I climbed down and waited to feel her jump in my arms. We gathered our things and walked hand in hand to the motorcycle.

  She held me so tight on the way home that I thought she was trying to squeeze me to death. I welcomed it though, in fact I didn’t want her to ever let go. I felt like driving us far away so that we never had to be apart again.

  The ride home seemed like it took forever, but I knew it was because of her request. There was nothing on this earth that I wanted to do more than make love to her. I wanted to kiss every inch of her body, to hold her in my arms, and to give her unending satisfaction until we collapsed in a pool of combined sweat.

  I wanted to give her all of me, everything I could give her, and then more.

  19

  I had a hundred thousand words that I wanted to say to Chance. A hundred thousand reasons why I couldn’t bear to be without him, but for tonight I would have to settle for this.

  Once we got home we bypassed the main house altogether. He never let go of my hand as he led me across the patio and inside his place. He retrieved me a bottle of water out of the kitchen and led me straight into his bedroom, saying nothing.

  My bag dropped to the floor, and I was immediately spun around to face him. Chance held my constant gaze as he took my hand and placed it on his shoulder. He started at my fingers and ran his hand all the way up my arm slowly then back down again. He leaned into my neck and opened his mouth to kiss me. I could feel his warm tongue sliding against my skin. He stepped behind me and lightly traced his fingers from my shoulders down to my elbows.

  I had goose bumps, feeling as if I was floating in bliss.

  He slid the strap of my dress to the side and kissed my bare skin. My head started to drop back when I felt his tongue there. As the second strap lowered I prepared for what was to come. His lips found the center of my back right above where my dress had sat. He kept his mouth there while he slowly unzipped it. I could feel it loosening, but he didn’t let it fall. Instead, he reached around while kissing my shoulder again and lightly brushed the skin above my chest.

  My breathing became more rapid, and each time he touched me I could feel the heat growing between my legs.

  “How can I stand here in this room and not feel moved by you? I can’t stop myself from wanting this.” He whispered in my ear, while grabbing my dress from the front and slowly shoving it down. Chance held onto the fabric the entire time he removed it from my body. He started at my ankles with his hands slowly sliding up my calves, and then my thighs, until he cupped my backside.

  His hands skimmed up past my waist, and just before he reached my breasts he turned me around. I opened my eyes to see him looking directly into mine.

  His lips were so close to my mouth, but he didn’t stop to kiss me. Instead they fluttered against my own making me gasp. He buried his face into my hair and nudged his nose inside. I tried to reach for his shirt, but he captured both of my hands, kissing the back of my knuckles before putting them down gently.

  I watched him then reach behind his head and pull his shirt off. I licked my lips as I stared straight ahead at his perfect physique. He marched me backward until I was sitting on his bed. Chance moved in between my legs and pressed me down to lay with my feet still hanging off. He brought his lips to mine and held them there. My breathing was heavy as we parted. Chance then stood up staring deeply. I licked my lips, feeling the urgency to be with him again. This wasn’t like on the beach. I need more than that.

  I wanted everything he had to give.

  His eyes were filled with desire, and the more I watched him, the more rapid my heart beat. I could see my chest moving up and down as he just stood there taking me in. His hands made it to his shorts and he slowly unbuttoned them and let them fall. With one tug his boxers followed suit.

  Chance leaned into me again, this time climbing on top of me. I scooted myself back on the bed until my head reached his pillows, the whole time never taking my eyes off of him. He laid his body beside mine and propped himself up with his elbow, while his other hand traced circles around one of my breasts, but never touched my nipple. I let out a soft moan as his hands mimicked that same pattern on the opposite side.

  He bit his bottom lip when he rolled his flat palm between them. I honestly did not know how much more I could take. I felt that at any moment, I was going to explode. Chance continued to savor every inch of my body, just like I’d asked him to.

  I made a second attempt to reach out and touch him, but he gently seized my hand and brushed it against his lips. He closed his eyes for a moment, and I could only assume it was to regain some composure considering how involved he’d become. His rock-hard cock pressed into my leg, allowing me just a hint of how turned on he was becoming. Chance shifted his weight and leaned over to brush his closed lips against my hardened nipple. I arched my body toward his mouth, because the sensation was becoming blissfully unbearable. Finally he opened his mouth and slid his fabulous tongue over where his lips had just been. The air from his breath hit the wetness and sent more tingling sensations down into the very core of my sexual desire. When he took my nipple into his mouth I began to shudder.

  His mouth kissed my belly button, but continued to travel down to my thighs. I felt like a ticking bomb and I knew that he was fully aware of what he was doing to me. He pushed one of my knees up and buried his mouth into one of them. I could first feel his tongue and then small nibbles as his teeth brushed again
st my tender skin.

  I was sure I knew what was about to happen, but instead he kissed my shaved skin right above that sensitive spot between my legs. Then he used his tongue to lick up my abdomen until he reached the skin in between my breasts.

  Chance’s lips finally made their way back to my lips. I kissed him eagerly; stroking my tongue against his in a ravishing manner. I ran one of my legs over his ass, and finally wrapped them around his back, causing him to be positioned over top of me.

  Chance pulled away from our kiss and looked me in the eyes. I noticed immediately that they were filled with tears. I reached up for his face wondering what could be wrong, but he just froze.

  In all of my efforts to make Hope’s request a reality, I’d lost myself. Each touch, every kiss led to my heart breaking more and more. I couldn’t do this to her. She needed to know.

  “Chance, what’s wrong?” She asked.

  “Hope, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I confessed.

  Her eyes filled with worry. “Why? What did I do? Please tell me. Don’t stop being with me tonight. I can’t -.”

  I put my finger over her lip. “Shh. I can’t just be with you tonight, Hope. I don’t want to stop being with you at all. You’re worth the risk. I don’t care if we have to sneak around for months. I’ll do whatever it takes. Tell me you feel the same. Tell me I’m not imagining this thing between us is so much more than either of us has ever experienced.”

  Hope began to sob. I pulled her into my arms and rolled us over so that she was now on top of me. “Are you okay?”

  “You aren’t imagining it. I feel it too,” she announced as the tears fell down her cheeks.

  I took her face into my hands and used my thumbs to wipe away the wetness. “We’ll figure this out. I promise.” I looked her directly in the eyes when I said it. I wanted her to know I meant it with all of my heart.

  That promise was something that I was going to hold onto. I had no idea how we were going to hide our feelings around her father, and my sister, but I knew I couldn’t push her away again. Hope pressed her lips against mine, and started to run her hands down my stomach. I slid mine down between her legs and knew instantly that I needed to take my time. She was too special not to savor, and she needed to know it.

  Her legs pretzeled mine while our bodies thrust in sync.

  “Does it feel good?” I asked with my lips against hers.

  “Yes. Don’t stop,” she answered.

  We climaxed together, holding each other tight until we could both finally relax.

  I pressed my lips against her forehead and then buried my face into her neck.

  We eventually switched positions so that her weight was on me. As she drifted to sleep, I tickled her back with my fingers.

  Hope’s breathing slowed and when I was sure she was asleep, I finally let my eyes close. I wished that we could have stayed awake all night, but we were both exhausted. I found myself wondering if my lovemaking was good enough for her. I’d never been asked to do that, and everything I’d done just now was out of raw emotion.

  Before I finally let myself fall to sleep, I kissed her one more time. “I love you,” I whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear me.

  It was the first time I’d ever said those words and really meant them. I thought I had felt that way in the past, but after feeling what Hope did to me, I knew it had been something else altogether.

  I didn’t know how we were going to make it work. Hell, I didn’t even know if it was possible. I just knew that I couldn’t be away from her. Even if we had to meet away from the house once a week, I’d do it.

  It was time to tell her the truth about everything. If she still accepted me and wanted me after she knew my past, then I would confess my true feelings.

  I was so nervous, even afraid that she would be sickened by me or leave me like everyone else did. I didn’t want that to happen. God, I didn’t know what I would do if she looked at me the way all of my ex-friends had. She had to be told though. She had to understand why her father didn’t want us together. She needed to hear the truth from me, not my sister, and especially not from her dad.

  I felt a tear falling down my cheek as I prayed this wasn’t going to be the last time I got to hold her in my arms. Losing her would be the final nail in my coffin. I just knew it.

  I squeezed her tighter, and finally let myself fall asleep, knowing for right now she was right where she wanted to be.

  20

  Chance woke me up with gentle kisses all over my face. I opened my eyes to his smile, but immediately started to panic about my father coming home and catching us. Then I remembered that we still had another day to be together.

  “It’s still early, baby. Go back to sleep.”

  I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. “So, this isn’t just a dream?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You still want to be with me even though we have to sneak around?”

  He moved a piece of hair away from my face. “Hope, I would do anything to be with you. It would kill me inside if I didn’t at least try to make this work. I can’t live this close to you, seeing you every day and not want more.”

  I couldn’t help but let out a faint laugh. I was so overly excited to hear him say those words to me. It was all I’d wanted. We could make this work. It wasn’t like my dad paid that much attention. “We can wait until they go to bed at night and I’ll sneak over to your place, or we could just go out somewhere when we know they’re staying home.”

  He chuckled and pulled me close. “We’ll make it work. For now, let’s just lay here together.”

  “Sounds great to me.”

  It wasn’t long after us deciding to relax that Chance jumped up, seeming over-excited about something. "I have an idea. There's a dinghy out in the old shed that we could take to the State Park and put it in the lake. It's got a little motor that goes with it, and I’m sure we could make a day out of it. I don't know if you've ever been fishing, but I hear it's a good spot."

  Honestly, I didn't care where we spent the day as long as we were together. "That sounds perfect." I didn't have to tell him that I'd spent last summer out on that lake with my ex-boyfriend. His father had a boat with a cabin that we'd spend the night in. I'd tell my mom that I was staying with Rylee, and I'd sneak out with him. He's the one who taught me how to fish, among other things that Chance probably didn't want to hear about.

  Besides, we were too limited on our time together to drudge up the past. I wanted to live in the present, spending every available moment in his company.

  "I'll pack up the dinghy while you make us snacks to put in the cooler."

  "Cool deal. I'll meet you in the house." I didn't waste time on goodbyes, instead I hurried inside to change and make sandwiches. While getting everything out of the refrigerator I thought about whatever Chance wasn't telling me. He kept making it a point to throw the past into every discussion about us being together, as if it was going to change my mind.

  Ideally it would have been nice to say that I didn't wonder what he was hiding from me. The fact that he continued bringing it up only concerned me more. In the back of my mind I figured it was probably something as tragic as his mother's death. She obviously died suddenly, and Chance felt somehow responsible. In all honesty I knew it was most likely his guilt over her death that was causing him so much grief. No matter what, it didn't matter. I'd spent day after day since I'd moved in thinking about ways to be around Chance. Now that I had a real opportunity to make it happen, I wasn't about to dwell on something that may or may not have happened.

  Chance drove my car to the state park, the whole time talking about how he'd come to this place to clear his head. I didn't want to spoil the fun by letting him know I'd visited it plenty of times, including the swinging rope at the quarry.

  I hadn't been back since a girl jumped and ended up drowning. It took divers two days to recover her body.

  Once we pulled up in a parking spot, Chance and I got
out of the vehicle and began grabbing our things.

  I carried the cooler and bag, while he used the cigarette lighter plug in my car to operate the air pump. The dinghy quickly filled with air, tripling in size. I watched him affix the small motor to the back and drag it into the water's edge. While he held it, I carried everything over and sat it within, before putting one foot inside. Just as I went to bring my other leg over the boat moved. I ended up in a split, soaking wet on the sand outside of it instead.

  Chance was hunched over in hysterics as I stood up and gained enough composure to jump inside of the small watercraft. He hopped in with ease, still laughing at my clumsiness. Soaked, and annoyed, I decided to remove the shorts and tank top. I felt his eyes on me immediately, and knew for a fact that it had caused him to stop laughing. He licked his lips, making me giggle. “Ah, I see how you are.”

  I tossed the wet clothes towards him as we pulled further away from the water’s edge. “How am I?”

  “One track mind. That’s all I’m going to say.”

  He shook his head and let out an air-filled chuckle. “You got me. I’m not even going to argue.”

  He didn’t have to. It made me happy to be able to get his attention at the drop of a hat. Our day was about being together, so no matter what we were wearing, or not, I was going to have a good time.

  It was amazing how in such little time I’d been able to feel alive again. For a while I’d been settling for what I figured I deserved. I wasn’t just punishing myself, I literally wondered if the world would be a better place without me in it.

  Hope had changed that.

  From the moment she walked through my door, and into my life, everything had changed. Instead of dwelling on what I’d never have again, I was looking forward to what I could.

  There was only one problem with letting myself live again. I knew more than ever that I had to come clean about my past to her. I owed it to her to hear it from me. I couldn’t allow myself to feel this good with that lingering over my head. Hope was about to find out my deepest, darkest secret, and I knew that it could change all of what we were finding in each other.