That son of a bitch didn’t believe me last night, and then when he saw me protecting his daughter he couldn’t take it.
He sat me down and asked how I felt about the whole ordeal, as if he gave a damn. I assume my answer set his plan into motion, because I told him there was no way that I was keeping my mouth shut about what Trevor and his brother had done to Hope. He must have made some calls last night or early this morning, because I was on the next flight to South Carolina to work on the construction of a hotel. He didn’t give me an option. He said it was an opportunity I needed to take and that he had done a lot to get me the position.
I did not thank him. In fact, I wanted to hurt him. He was such a fucking coward. Now I’d have to abandon Hope when she needed me the most. It broke my heart, and it killed me more that I had to be the one to tell her. She was never going to understand.
“What do you mean you have to leave? Where are you going? When will you be home?” She asked.
My eyes filled with grief, and I didn’t want to feel like a pussy, but this was torture. “Your father got me a job working on a construction site in South Carolina. It will last for a few months, and then he said I can come back.”
“No! No way! This can’t be happening. Why would you agree to it? Please, Chance, you can’t just leave me here.” Hope was clinging to my arms, her words becoming hard to make out, because she was crying so badly. “You can’t leave. You can’t leave me here all alone.”
“Hope, I don’t have a choice. I haven’t had much time to think about this, but I assume he wants me to be out of the picture until this deal is finalized,” I explained.
“Do either of you see how convoluted this is? I don’t care about his freaking deal. He takes everything from me. First he broke up my family, and now he’s ripping us apart,” Hope screamed.
I tried to grab her, but she pulled away. “He doesn’t even know about us, Hope. Would you please just listen to me?” She refused. Instead she buried her face into her hands. “Nothing between us has to change, baby. We can talk every day, and I will find a way to come home on the weekends or something.”
Buffy put her hands on Hope’s shoulders and started rubbing her back. “In the meantime I can keep talking to your dad. We’ll get Chance home as fast as we can,” she assured us.
“No! This can’t be happening. He saved me. He saved me last night and this is what happens? I don’t understand.” Hope sobbed harder, and it was excruciating for me to hear it. I watched her petite body shaking, not knowing what I could do to take the pain away.
I knelt down in front of her. “Hope, look at me.”
She finally looked up past her tear filled eyes. “There isn’t anything you can say to make this better. My father has done nothing but hurt me, and now he’s taking the person that I love the most away from me.”
“I know. Please just calm down. I know that things seem horrible right now, but we’re still going to see each other. I’ll call you every day. The months will fly by and then I’ll be home,” I explained. “I promise that I’ll come back for you.”
My heart was breaking even more seeing her reaction to all of this. I wanted to walk in that house and punch that bastard in his face. His daughter needed support, but instead he was torturing her, and he didn’t even realize how much.
“I’m going to head into the house. Hope, don’t be too long okay?”
The shades were down in the pool house, so that Hope’s father couldn’t see in if he were outside. “Hope, I love you. I promise you that we’re going to get through this. I swear it.”
She fell into my arms and I let her cry. I could feel pain washing over me, so I held her tighter, trying to think positive, even though I knew we’d just hit yet another huge hurdle. “Why can’t we just leave? We could run away, and they wouldn’t be able to stop us,” she suggested.
I wished it were that easy. “Hope, you’re not eighteen. I could be charged with kidnapping.”
“I would assure them that it wasn’t true.”
As much as she pleaded with me to understand, I knew how the law worked. “Baby, it’s not that simple. I know it feels like it’s a good idea, but I promise you that it isn’t. If I take this job then I can come home to you. If we run away, we’ll never be able to be a family. I don’t want to lose my sister, and I know you don’t want to be away from your mom. Please try to understand.”
While I held her tight in my arms, we both went through the motions of saying goodbye. This wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to walk out that door when I knew she was so distraught. After all, Hope had changed me, giving me a reason to want to live. The idea of losing that was tough on me. What if she found someone else? She was young and beautiful, with a friend who liked to flaunt herself around town. Hope didn’t know what Rylee had done with Trevor, but I did. She wasn’t someone I trusted with my girlfriend.
To prevent any further repercussions, Hope retreated back to the main house, leaving me to pack alone. I can’t say that I didn’t lose it a couple of times, imagining how my life was fucked up yet again. It didn’t matter where I turned, because somehow I was always in the line of fire. This time I was losing more than my self-worth.
I was facing the fear of losing Hope.
33
When Chance told me he had to leave, I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me. Buffy and I drove him to the airport and we both cried as he left to board his plane. I spent the entire ride home pleading with her to help me get him back. I begged her, but knew there was little she could do. My dad had his mind made up, and according to Buffy, this deal was the biggest he’d ever been involved in. It was so large that it would allow him to retire early.
I understood my father’s reasoning for wanting to keep the peace temporarily, but I couldn’t accept that he’d sent Chance away, and neglected the fact that I was assaulted. A crime had been committed, yet he’d done nothing.
I wished that there was a way to prove to my dad that he was destroying me. More than anything I wanted to tell him that we were in love, and that he was breaking my heart.
Chance called us once he’d made it there safely, and later that night before he went to sleep. He met his new boss, and had checked into the motel where he’d be staying at.
That first evening he called me to tell me he was going to bed, I immediately broke down, just hearing his voice. I closed my eyes before saying anything, imagining that he was only ringing me from his cell phone in the pool house. “I miss you so much, already.”
“I miss you too, baby. The time is going to pass by quickly. Before you know it I’ll be home. I promise.”
“You shouldn’t have even left, Chance. I can’t believe this is happening.” My sobs kept me from being able to continue. I had to take a few breaths to control my emotions. “I wish you were holding me.”
“Close your eyes. Don’t say you are and you really aren’t. Seriously, just do it.”
I followed his directions, feeling like it was a stupid idea. “Okay. They’re closed.”
“Can you feel my arms around you now?”
“No.” I refused to play this juvenile game. This wouldn’t solve the emptiness in my heart.
“Hope, please just appease me. Close your eyes and imagine us being back on that beach, the sounds of the waves are crashing as we look out at the setting sun on the horizon.” He paused a second. “Are you with me?”
I nodded with my eyes shut, even though he couldn’t see me. “Yes,” I whispered.
“Good. Can you feel my arms wrapped around the front of your body? You’re leaning against my chest, and your body is so warm, baby. The wind keeps whipping your hair around, and the mist of the incoming waves are causing it to dampen.”
“I remember,” I said as I imagined being there in his arms, so tightly held, safe, and happy.
“When I miss you I think about that moment. I picture us together, where no one can hurt us. It’s just me and you and that big
ocean. We may be miles away at the moment, but you’re with me when I close my eyes. Your dad may have sent me away, but it’s not going to change what we have.”
“How am I supposed to put on a straight face when I’m going to be missing you so much?”
“Tell him it’s stress from what happened to you. Make his ass sweat bullets for not nailing those two little pricks to the wall.”
“Believe me, I plan to. If he thinks for one minute I’m going to let that go, he’s got another thing coming.” I had so much pent up anger when it came to my father, and it wasn’t just because of his latest acts. It was derived from years of not being around.
“Are you gritting your teeth? I can hear it in the way you change your voice. It’s so cute. I can picture the way you tighten up your lips, and squint your eyes.”
“Stop. I don’t do that.” I sat up and looked at my reflection in the mirror, making that same face, and holding in my hysterics because he was spot on.
“You do so.” Chance snickered. “You’re so cute when you’re defensive.”
“Well you’re so cute when you’re shirtless.”
“Is that so?” He was taunting me to continue. “What if I told you that I was shirtless right now? Are you picturing that?”
“I am now,” I giggled.
“Maybe you should take off your shirt. I mean, it’s only fair if I have something sexy to picture.”
I plopped down on my bed, letting my head hit the pillow. I wasn’t removing my shirt if I didn’t have to. “I’m already in my bra.”
“You’re full of shit, Hope. Come on. Go lock your door and get naked for me. I’m going to give you a bedtime story, and it requires your undivided cooperation.”
As humiliating as it felt. I put the phone on the mattress and began taking off my clothes. While I knew he could still hear me, I spoke. “This better be worth it, Chance. If you tell anyone I did this, you’ll be sorry.”
He laughed. “Don’t worry, baby. I won’t tell if you don’t.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” My bedroom door was already locked, so I climbed under my covers, feeling modest even with being all alone in the room.
“Are you naked?”
“Obviously. Do you want me to tell you that I’m touching myself,” I asked sarcastically.
Chance hooted. “This would be a lot easier if you went along with it.”
“This is incredibly weird. I’m all alone in my room. Do people actually do this?”
“Close your eyes and run your fingers over one of your nipples.”
“No.”
“Just shut up and do it. Please, baby. I need this.”
When he put it that way I knew I had to go through with it. I closed my eyes, reluctantly grazing my nipple with my nails. Immediately my body reacted to the touch. “Mmm, I’m doing it.”
“Good girl. Now slide that hand down further and touch your pussy. I bet it’s so warm.”
I continued down until I reached that spot. My smooth skin was in fact warm, just liked he’d said.
“Now slip your fingers inside and start rubbing yourself. Do it the way my tongue feels. Pretend it’s me getting you off.”
I moaned. “It’s nice.”
“Hope, I’m so hard.”
I wanted to laugh, but knew I’d ruin the moment. The idea of us both being alone on a bed made me snicker to myself anyway. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“Oh, I’m going to let you suck it. That’s what.”
Hearing him boast about what he wanted me to do sent chills throughout my already sensitive body. I knew we weren’t physically able to be together, and while Chance was making the best of the situation, I finally subdued myself into accepting that this was the only way. “You want me to lick it first?”
He groaned, causing me to react with a huge grin. He was totally getting aroused from this. I too was feeling new sensations. “Suck it hard, Hope. Keep rubbing yourself. I’m close, baby.”
I rubbed myself harder, keeping my eyes closed as I envisioned his tongue doing all the work. Even before I heard his deep breathing on the phone, or the sound he made when his body tensed up, I was already beginning to convulse. My ass lifted off the bed as I continued massaging my throbbing clit. In a matter of minutes I’d brought myself to climax, and although it was hot, I felt a bit ashamed, as if it was naughty. I waited for Chance to reply, since I felt a tad bit embarrassed.
“I made a mess,” He laughed to himself. “I better let you go so I can clean myself up. Thanks for playing along, Hope.”
“You’re welcome. It was … interesting.”
“You liked it. I know you did.”
“I wish you were here. It’s not the same.”
“I’ll be home before you know it. Listen, I’ll call you when I get done with work. I’ll be thinking about you until then.”
I pulled the covers up to my neck, refusing to redress when my body was still sensitive. “Me too. Goodnight, Chance.”
After we’d hung up I stared at my ceiling, trying to come up with a simple solution to being able to act normal when my heart was breaking to pieces. This wasn’t a choice that either of us would have made. There was one person to blame for my utter loneliness, and unfortunately I shared a blood connection to him.
I refused to speak to my father, even at meals when he sat at the same table with us. Buffy finally gave in and started talking to him after holding out for a week. He seemed remorseful, but the damage was done.
Chance called me at least twice a day. He called to wake me up in the mornings and then to tell me goodnight; although, sometimes our nighttime talks would last for hours. One good thing about him being away was that we got to communicate a lot more than we did around the house. We didn’t really have to hide. Since I spent most of my time in my room, my father never even knew, not that I even cared.
Buffy called Chance every few days, always making it a habit to bring it up at dinner time when my father was around. She talked about how much he hated it, and wished he could be here where his only family was.
Obviously, the news of Chance being homesick did not faze him in the least. He played golf with Mr. Greg at least once a week. They shot the shit over the phone, and I even heard him mentioning Trevor and Michael in a positive conversation.
Since my mother had finally moved into her new home I wondered if I could get away from my father, but once I saw the size, I knew why she hadn’t asked me in the first place. It was tiny and only had one bedroom.
Her boyfriend Sam was a great guy. He had an outstanding sense of humor and seemed to be madly in love with her. I could tell immediately why she was so crazy about him. He made me promise that once a week I would come over to his place and have dinner with him and my mother. She was thrilled that he’d asked and I knew I’d keep that promise.
Day after day I looked for things to do to get me out of the house. I called Rylee so many times that I’d started wondering if she was angry at me. I kept getting this vibe that maybe Chance didn’t care for her, even though they’d never officially met, except for that night in the bar.
Finally, one night while on the phone, Chance told me why. He explained how Trevor said he and Rylee had slept together behind my back. I’d been going on and on about her being such a trustworthy friend and he said he couldn’t take it anymore. Words could not even describe how betrayed I felt. We’d been best friends for so long, and it was difficult to fathom her doing something that would destroy that trust I’d had for her. I got so angry about it that I finally called her, ready to ream her out for being a shitty person.
At first she denied it, making me feel guilty about accepting it as the truth. I was content to believing that Trevor had made the whole thing up to get to me, but soon after she called me crying saying that it happened a couple times when they were drinking.
I said a few choice words to her and simply hung up, shocked by her actions, and disgusted that she’d done them. She call
ed me repeatedly until I finally answered after letting the news sink in for over twenty-four hours. “Hope, please hear me out. I need to tell you -.”
I cut her off. “Save it, Rylee. Trevor is a loser, and if you want to waste your time with someone like him, that’s your business. As far as our friendship goes, well it’s going to take me a while to trust you again. The thing is, I’ve moved on. I broke up with Trevor a long time ago, because he was an asshole. Now I have a boyfriend that loves me, and treats me with respect. If hooking up with my sloppy seconds is what you prefer, go ahead. Karma is a bitch.”
“Hope, wait. Don’t hang up. I’m sorry. I swear I am.”
“Rylee, I don’t care. You screwed my boyfriend behind my back, and I don’t even care. I’m that happy with Chance. He’s a man, which is something Trevor will never be.”
“Please don’t hate me. I love you, Hope. You’re my best friend.” She was sobbing on the other end of the call. I don’t know why, but I felt sorry for her pathetic ass.
“I need time to get over what you’ve done to me.”
“Okay. I understand.” She paused and I heard her sniffling. “I’ll always be there for you, Hope.”
I hung up before I could say something that I would in turn regret. Unlike my untrustworthy friend, I clung to the hope that one day we could mend whatever had been broken. By the end of that day I was content with not talking to her until I could get over the shock of it all.
Since I was so overjoyed with mine and Chance’s relationship, I knew I should just let it go. I had enough to worry about, like figuring out how I was going to sneak off to see my boyfriend.
Some days, I would spend all of my time in the pool house. I told my father I went in there to study, but I never really did. What I actually went there for was to catch a hint of Chance, whether it was on his sheets, or even on his clothes in the closet. I’d made his bed, and then climbed in it so many times that I’d lost count. It never happened without tears. I felt lost, lonely, and destroyed.
Chance convinced me to enroll in community college to get me out of the house, so when September came around I gladly found reprieve. I was enrolled in three classes that kept me occupied enough to where I wasn’t utterly miserable with depression.
A Hope and a Chance Page 21
