Outcast

by Alex Douglas

  "I do not wish to harm you," he whispered, clutching the curtain in his fists behind his trembling body. "I just..."

  Her voice was quiet and sounded like every beautiful song he had ever heard. "Sit by me," she said and patted the bed. "I've been so bored here, with only Kai to talk to. You're the one who sent me all those nice dreams, aren't you? I hoped you'd come. You're very handsome."

  His heart beating hard, Lan crept over to the bed and sat down. The princess shifted to face him, but he could not see through the dark veil. Her words were soft and musical but had a power to them all the same. If she'd asked him to disembowel himself right there and then, he would have done it. Anything for her.

  As he sat, there was a sudden feeling of excruciating pressure followed by an overwhelming release in his groin that drew an involuntary groan of relief. He looked down. There was a large lump in his trousers where none had been before. His genitalia had finally emerged, but he'd felt no pain at all, such was the feeling in his head...a light feeling, as if he was suffused with the scent of flowers and warmth of a summer breeze. The princess reached out a hand and placed it on his crotch, and her touch sent every last logical thought out of his head. He could scarcely breathe, and his vision was so dark now he felt faint.

  Then he saw that her hand was small and strange; four fingers and one thumb, wrapped in a black glove.

  "I hoped you'd come," she said again, and pulled back her veil.

  The room faded into the background, dark and irrelevant.

  "Am I what you hoped for?" Prez said, and Lan looked into those burnt orange eyes and saw the stars.

  Completely lost in the melohar, Lan's images of his own denial and panic surged, broke and drained away like waves crashing onto a beach. His entire being bubbled over with a surge of love and happiness; all the sickness and worry was gone. He stroked the side of Prez's face and smiled faintly. "I am sorry," he murmured. "I could not tell you."

  "Ssh now." Prez put a finger to his lips and stood up. He slipped the black robe from his body and sat back down. Lan could not stop looking at his eyes. In the dim light, they were almost brown, the pupils big and black. The specks of light in Lan's vision burned and danced like fireflies in the dark. Prez licked his lips and smiled back, that big happy grin that lit up white hot in Lan's mind just like it had done the first time he'd seen it, weeks ago.

  Beautiful. He had forgotten how to speak.

  "Kiss me," Prez whispered, cupping Lan's cheek in his hand and edging closer until Lan felt the heat of his breath. He closed his eyes and felt the slight pressure of Prez's mouth against his, and then the delicate touch of the tip of Prez's tongue, parting his lips and sliding into his mouth.

  The kiss went on, hot and wet and delicious, until Lan felt the hard bud that his heart had once been start to change and open, an unfurling sensation like petals to the sun. There was a wetness on his cheeks and opened his eyes, just as Prez broke the kiss. Then he realized that he was weeping, warm tears of indescribable happiness. Prez thumbed them away gently then held Lan's head against his chest, stroking his curly hair, rocking a little. Lan hugged him tight, feeling the heat of Prez's skin against his cheek. And something else too, the beginning of a tingling pulse in his groin, a new and unfamiliar sensation of need and frustration and delight all wrapped up together.

  He looked down and saw his penis properly for the first time, dark and swollen, the head poking out of the waistband of his trousers. For a second he stared at it, not sure of what to do. Prez chuckled and with deft fingers, untied the drawstrings and eased the trousers down. The material was slightly scratchy on the super-sensitive fresh skin, and Lan's body twitched at the feeling.

  When his trousers were on the floor, along with the rest of his clothes -- when did that happen? -- Lan lay naked on the bed while Prez pushed his legs apart and nestled in between them. He rubbed his palms slowly over the smooth skin of Lan's inner thighs, down to his knees, up to the edge of his groin, brushing ever so slightly against his balls, down, up. Long strokes of gentle, insistent teasing that was almost like a form of torture. Lan lay there, groaning, unable to define what he wanted, but begging for it all the same in the helpless arching of his hips, the tension in his thighs, the thump of his heart.

  And then Prez bent forward and took Lan's aching penis into his mouth.

  The sensation was like an explosion in his head, new and thrilling and exquisite. Lan lay back, astonished, as he felt his whole being sucked into that wet mouth. Hands pulling on his balls, the hint of pain just adding to the incredible pressure inside him, and that sucking was nothing he had ever felt before. It tickled, it hurt, it was... Lan sighed and moaned, almost insane with pleasure. Then small, light kisses on the swollen flesh, cool breath on the slick wetness left by that dancing tongue. There seemed to be no oxygen in the air. But then Prez released him, and he heard the slap of his penis against his stomach, felt it throbbing harder than ever but it wasn't pain, it was so close...

  Prez leaned to his side and lifted a remote controller. The lights dimmed to almost complete darkness, just leaving his body silhouetted against the glow on the walls as he straddled Lan's body and took Lan's penis into his hand. He pressed it against his ass, and kept the tip there at the hot entrance to his body, almost inviting Lan to push inside. Lan felt his hips straining upwards, trapped under Prez's weight, but he could not get farther. He was breathing heavily now and aching for completion. Just as he thought he was going to die with need, Prez stopped teasing. There was a tightness around the head of Lan's penis, a tight barrier, then a pushing sensation and slowly, slowly, Lan sank inside.

  He did not know if his cry was real or just in his mind. All he could feel was that tight ring of muscle slipping down and pulling him inside the heat of Prez's body. In the dark, the stars in Lan's eyes fell like showers of sparks from a stonemason's wheel. He felt his lover's weight settle and hold, giving him some moments to feel not only the tightness around his throbbing penis but the heart that was causing the throb, beating just a fraction ahead. The feelings of adoration and sexual pleasure fused in Lan's mind forever. He felt hairy knees under his palms as his lover began to move on top of him, rocking back and forward, up and down until Lan's hips began to buck helplessly underneath, driving inside harder and harder. His mouth opened in a silent scream and hot pulses of semen tore from his penis, a mind-blowing climax, the first of his life.

  When Lan had finally come down the other side of the peak, Prez lay down beside him and pushed his knee between Lan's legs. Hot bodies together, limbs intertwined, until Lan drifted off to sleep, dreams drifting in to his dazzled mind like clouds borne along, floating on the intoxicating wind of melohar.

  ***

  Prez was tired of reading and his eyes were starting to ache. He'd been awake for almost a whole day. He put Lan's Tablet down and considered what he'd read. Melohar sounded very interesting indeed. Perhaps people would pay a lot to experience that too. But running illegal sex tours to Belaar... well, it was as fantastical as melohar itself. They kept the suho far from the outside world, and with their advanced planetary defense systems, there was no chance of pulling it off without being caught and probably ejected into space on the spot. No amount of money was worth that risk.

  Where was Lan? His scheduled break was over, hours ago. He buzzed Lan's quarters but got no response. A jaw-breaking yawn forced its way out of his mouth and he rubbed at his prickling eyes. He glanced down the navigational chart on the screen and sighed. Nothing doing yet, just open space, a slow but steady progression toward the asteroids.

  He yawned again and stretched. Perhaps some roasted baba juice would help him stay awake. Ten more minutes, and he'd buzz Lan again. He'd just close his eyes for a couple of seconds, just to rest them, while he waited for the juice to heat up in the microheater. When the machine bleeped, he was already slumped over his console, fast asleep.

  ***

  Lan woke in the darkness, disoriented, his head throbbing. He was i
n his own quarters, but had no memory of how he'd gotten there. The time flashed from the clock on the wall and he felt a sudden panic. He was late for duty, horribly so. His body ached as he swung his legs out of bed and sat up, wincing as his weight crushed the edge of his testicles against the mattress. Having genitals was going to take some getting used to.

  His body felt renewed. No more pain, no more sickness. The echo of the previous night's activities cast still-delightful shadows on his muscles, his penis, his heart. It was all he could do to remind himself that it was the princess he'd made love to, and not Prez. The memory was just as real to him as the stink of the chemical shower he was stepping into. He felt his mind coming back together, as if his thoughts had been a scattered herd of animals that he'd just managed to wrest under control.

  He rubbed his body under the blast of the spray, which tickled against his penis and made him jump and giggle involuntarily. He ran his hands over the new parts, rubbing his penis and trying to clean it, and the rubbing felt sort of nice for a bit and before he knew it, the thing was hard and he tried to leave it alone but there was a nice spot just under the head that if he touched... just rubbed it a little... and oh, just like that... and then to his surprise, his knees buckled and he came all over the wall of the shower. He rested his shoulder against the wall and tried to catch his breath. It was nothing like the momentous orgasm he'd had the night before, a little mechanical -- like a sneeze -- but still, very enjoyable.

  As he pulled on his clothes, he felt a stab of worry about what he was going out to. Had Kai discovered his intrusion? He dismissed the fear with a shake of his head. If she had, he surely wouldn't be alone in his quarters; he'd be standing before her at the center of a hideously embarrassing diplomatic incident, no doubt preparing to be ejected into space for his crime.

  Now he was able to think logically again, he realized how the whole thing had been complete madness. But he'd been driven by forces beyond his control. If there were consequences, he would face them gladly, because no matter what happened next, he had seen the stars, and the Elders were right... there was no feeling like it in the universe. Now he knew what he was, and -- he smiled to himself as he polished his boots and stepped out of his quarters -- who he loved. It meant his fate was sealed; he could never go back to Aldor now. But when he thought of Prez, his heart thrummed in his chest and he didn't care where he ended up -- brothels, bars, or even illegal brothels and bars, just as long as he was near Prez, to take care of him and love him as -- Lan realized suddenly -- he'd been doing from almost the first moment they'd met.

  There was, of course, a minor problem of what to wear -- the trousers he'd bought nipped uncomfortably at his new genitals and he stood at the bottom of the access shaft, hoisting his balls up and pushing them down first one leg, then the other, to see which suited better. He took the metal rungs slowly, not lifting his knees too high, and when he stepped into the bridge, he pulled the robes tight around himself. The friction of the material and the sensation from the recent grabbing was making his penis go hard again. He was unused to his body parts acting of their own accord and frowned. What was he to do with the thing?

  Prez was slumped over the console, snoring softly. Lan slipped into his chair and looked at Prez's face, longing to touch him again. Or not...again. It was the princess he'd made love to, he had to keep remembering that. And Prez could never find out what he'd done, he knew that for certain. The breach of professionalism alone would surely mean his instant dismissal at the very least.

  The captain's shirt was unbuttoned at the neck, and Lan studied the ink flower that bloomed at the base of Prez's throat while his heart pounded blissfully. Prez would want to sleep somewhere more comfortable than that. The need to touch him was almost overpowering, so Lan put out his hand and stroked the hair from the captain's forehead. He couldn't keep the smile off his face. Then he shook Prez gently and sat back in his chair, trying to concentrate.

  Prez sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Where have you been?"

  "I am truly sorry," Lan said. "I was ill, and I was deeply asleep. But... I am well again now."

  There was a silence. Prez grunted and stretched, his shirt pulling up and exposing his belly. Lan wriggled in his seat. He remembered then, out of nowhere, something he'd puzzled over as a child, the mystery of the faolan wind orchestras. Playing the faolan was very popular among men of a certain age, but Lan couldn't understand why there were no famous male players despite the number who professed to play it frequently. When he'd asked about the issue at home his mother had been most amused, and she'd even explained that there were few professional male players because females had softer lips and could blow the instrument more beautifully.

  Now he could see it clearly, the "instrument" that men would go off and play. And he had naïvely believed that there were no secrets among telepaths. Those liars! And his mother...! He threw back his head and laughed aloud. Then he realized that Prez was watching him, and made an effort to be serious.

  "I am sorry," he said again, pressing his knees together to check on the progress of his erection. It still was not fully hard, so he crossed his legs and hoped the tingling of blood would go away.

  "Lan..." Prez scratched his head, then jumped as the spider ran out of his hair and sprang onto the arm of his chair before scuttling underneath the console. He looked so comical and sweet, Lan couldn't help laughing again. Prez stared after the spider and smiled. "Forgot he was in there," he said. "Lan, what's going on? You look... different. You're... laughing."

  Lan looked at him. No more stars, but still the same feeling of total adoration and completion. How on earth could he hide it? Then he remembered that Prez could only read his face, not his mind, and he had forgotten to practice looking different after the shock of the doctor's diagnosis. "I look different," he said. "In what way?"

  He felt Prez's gaze travel up and down his body, and his heart started to beat harder. He willed it to slow, and to his relief, it did. His offending member had also decided to behave and he was glad he did not have to run out and beat it into submission. The image made him explode with laughter again, and he leaned forward onto the console, his shoulders shaking helplessly.

  "Have you been drinking?" Prez asked, his eyes narrowed. "Because you know we're going to be at the asteroid belt in under three hours. I need you focused, not giggling like an Andran in a tax office. And it's too late for me to get any decent sleep now."

  The realization that Prez was annoyed with him hit Lan like a bucket of freezing water. "I am sorry," he said again, suddenly contrite. "I have not been drinking. You may administer a test if you wish. I will not laugh again."

  Prez sighed. "I don't want you to stop laughing."

  "I do not understand. How do you wish me to behave?"

  "Look, I'm tired, and that came out wrong. It's... well. I just don't understand what's going on, that's all. Something's not normal."

  Lan thought again of the faolan puzzle and tried in vain to stop smiling. How could he tell Prez what had happened, what he'd done? While he considered what to say, his gaze fell on the flower at Prez's throat. It was an orange blossom, shaped like a long bell with a vicious-looking tongue sticking out the bottom.

  Without thinking, Lan reached out his finger and traced the petals of the flower. "This picture is beautiful," he said. "What genus of flower is it?" Prez's skin was smooth and warm, and he could feel a faint pulse under his fingers. He drew his finger along the tongue of the plant and something behind the skin started to glow faintly, giving the flower the appearance of a pattern on a paper lantern. Then realized what he was doing and took his hand away, embarrassed.

  There was a silence. "It's an Akilian spitting orchid," Prez said eventually in a strained voice. "They're... um, carnivorous plants, usually eat flies and moths. But they spit at anything that passes, even beasts hundreds of times their size." He buttoned his shirt back up and lifted his jacket. "I'll... I'm just going to take a quick... shower before... you know. The as
teroids," he said and disappeared from the bridge.

  ***

  Prez shut himself in his quarters and locked the door manually. He let out a long, shaky breath and set his jacket on the bed. If he'd needed any proof that Kai's vaccination hadn't worked, it was throbbing hard in his pants. Glancing at his flustered face in the mirror, he saw that the kel-mah gland behind his tattoo was glowing, pulsing in time to his heartbeat, and groaned. Only one other person in the universe had ever lit him up like that, and he was long gone. It was a sign of impending disaster, he was sure of it.

  There was no way Lan could have known how shockingly intimate his gesture had been. In polite society, it was the equivalent of dropping to your knees and sucking on someone's cock. He cursed the orchid tattoo for constantly drawing attention to the fact that at least one part of him was truly Akilian. Why had he ever allowed Garlo to do it? Then again, not allowing Garlo to do anything had never really been an option.

  Cutting off the thought, he stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the shower, for once welcoming the sting in his eyes from the chemical spray. His body was stiff from sleeping at the console, and he massaged his shoulders and thought about Lan. It was quite obvious that the Aldorian had been deeply distressed about something, no matter how much he'd been trying to hide it. And now... clearly the cause had gone. But Prez couldn't think of any reason for the fact that Lan was now grinning idiotically and exploding with giggles like an air volcano. He thought about the inTox test kit he kept handy in case of passing patrollers looking for a drunken pilot and a bribe, but surely Lan wouldn't... especially with Kai on board... but then again, he'd never even seen an Aldorian prior to meeting Lan, let alone worked with one, so who knew what they got up to in their free time?