The Sleeping Serpent: A woman's struggle to break an obsessive bond with her yoga master

by Luna Saint Claire

  Nico was adamant, “I swear to you. I didn’t.”

  Luna played dumb. “So then, why did you think a strange girl would just come over to have sex with you? And no payment of any sort was implied?”

  Nico looked down, at a loss for words. He muttered, “Well, I thought she was a party girl, looking for a good time.”

  “Nico, what does that mean?” Suddenly something dawned on her. “Nico, do you think it was a transvestite? Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to take off his clothes.”

  Nico looked at her squarely, to ensure she wasn’t being judgmental and that the question was sincere. He paused, then his mouth dropped open. “Ahhh…that could be, Luna! That’s why she was so strong. It could’ve been a man.”

  Figuring that was probably all the truth she’d get from him, they walked into the phone store and began looking at new phones.

  While Nico worked with a technician, Luna stepped outside to call Tyler to let him know she was fine, “Tyler, you were right. I’m certain he texted a hooker, and didn’t want to pay. And…I think it may have been a transvestite. I’ll fill you in when I get home, but long story short, Nico won’t admit calling a prostitute, which leads me to think he’s either really naïve, or was trading something else as payment—like you thought, maybe drugs. The girl, or guy, as it may be, flipped, and gashed him on the face and neck.”

  Tyler sighed. “When will you be home?”

  “I think I’m going to spend some time with him. He’s pretty shaken up.”

  Walking back to the car, Luna asked, “Have you eaten anything, Nico?”

  “No, and I’m starving. Let’s go for a burger.” They went to Stout Burgers and Beer, a cute place near the studio on Ventura.

  Now that he was in better spirits, Luna teased him, “Nico, stop with these pictures on the phone, OK?”

  He conceded, “You’re right, Luna. I shouldn’t do that.”

  She chided, “That poor girl Maya! And it’s a good thing that your face wasn’t in any shots. You’re becoming a celebrity, remember? So take this as a warning, and stop documenting your dick!”

  Nico laughed and said sweetly, “Luna, thanks so much. I really needed you today.”

  “And you’ll stop with the pictures?”

  He looked up at her from under the coil of black hair covering his eye, and like a little boy caught teasing his baby sister, whispered, “OK. I promise.”

  Luna spotted her friend perusing Plato Picante’s vast menu at a table on the veranda. As she walked toward her, Emily looked up and her eyes widened. Standing to hug Luna, she exclaimed cheerfully, “My God! You look fantastic! Like a rock star!” Luna wore a new black lace miniskirt with an embellished, distressed denim jacket over a T-shirt, and vintage western boots she’d bought in Santa Fe.

  Stepping back to inspect her further, Emily went on, “And twenty years younger!” Then, realizing how that might sound, she stumbled over her words as she added, “I mean…not that you don’t always look great—and fashionable. I mean…”

  Luna laughed and hugged her harder. “I know, Em. I guess you could say I’ve been transformed. I feel much younger, too, and I’ll tell you all about it!”

  Over the course of several margaritas, Luna opened up about her feelings for Nico, expressing her concern about just how close they were. Her friend acknowledged it might be good for her ego, but dangerous for her marriage.

  Luna insisted it was harmless fun, and that she and Tyler still had their date nights, so all was well at home. Laughing, she ordered another round of margaritas. When she finally checked her phone, she realized she had missed several calls and texts from both Tyler and Nico. Quickly texting Tyler she was on her way home, she and her friend said their good-byes.

  Sitting in her car and looking across the street at the Amaru Yoga sign, Luna returned the call from Nico. “Hi, you called me?”

  “Where are you? Why didn’t you pick up?”

  “Funny, Nico. I’m across the street at Plato Picante. I just had a few drinks with an old friend of mine from New York.”

  “Come over here, I need you,” Nico urged her.

  “I can’t, Nico. Ty is expecting me home,” she replied.

  “Just for a minute. Please. Besides, you shouldn’t drive home if you’ve been drinking,” he argued convincingly.

  She went across the street and straight into the apartment, where he was playing guitar. He seemed fine, but she figured something was up when he asked her to have a drink with him. She replied, “I drank too much already.”

  “Sit down. Stay for a while,” he countered.

  Luna insisted, “I really need to go home, Nico, but I’ll see you Sunday. You’re coming to Easter, right?”

  Nico had accepted Luna’s invitation to Easter dinner at her brother’s house again this year. But when she suggested he bring Maya, he’d declined, saying, “Well, she already invited me to her friend’s wedding, and I turned that down because I don’t want her to think we’re that serious.”

  “At some point, you’ll have to get to know her family if you’re serious.” Luna had observed he never met the family of anyone he was dating. Yet he had enjoyed himself the year before at her brother’s house and even got the kids involved making pizza. There had been flour dusting every surface, and the kids had been enthralled watching him spin the dough.

  Nico proclaimed proudly, “Look! I made an Easter basket for the kids, see?”

  Just like a little kid, she thought.

  He added, “And a bottle of Tikal for your brother.”

  Plopping back on the sofa, he picked up his guitar and began playing a romantic ballad while Luna listened attentively.

  Before long, she realized another hour had passed and jumped up. “Oh my. I’m so late. Tyler’s going to kill me!”

  When Luna walked in, Tyler erupted, “I expected you hours ago. You know what? You can go to your brother’s with Nico. I’m not going!”

  “That’s such an extreme reaction, Tyler! I lost track of time. That’s all!” She could hear the shrillness in her voice.

  “You’re so wrapped up in Nico, you have no consideration for me! I was waiting for you, and you didn’t even call. I’m done.” He didn’t raise his voice, but she could hear the tension, and more importantly, the disappointment.

  Luna apologized profusely and pleaded her case, “Honey, I’m so sorry…really, I am. I felt a bit tipsy and waited at Nico’s until I sobered up some…”

  Seeing her attempt at justification wasn’t having any effect, she simply mumbled, “I’m sorry,” and went into the bedroom. When Tyler was this angry, Luna knew better than to continue making excuses. She just hoped his anger would dissipate by Sunday, but the next morning she could tell he was still bristling. Maybe, she thought, inviting Nico wasn’t such a great idea. As much as she dreaded it, she called Nico and nervously told him why Tyler was angry with her. “I texted from Plato Picante that I was on my way home, but then didn’t show up for hours. I explained I stopped off there to sober up before driving, but he was furious. Now he’s refusing to go to Easter dinner—and says we should just go without him!”

  Getting more upset than she anticipated, Nico blew up at her. “I can’t believe you let him manipulate you like that, Luna! After all I’ve done for you!”

  “He’ll calm down. I’m sure of it. But right now, he says he’s not going. I can’t exactly show up with you and not Tyler, can I?” She waited for Nico to say something, knowing he would be disappointed.

  He pushed back at her harder than she anticipated. “Luna, Tyler’s trying to control you and our friendship. I’m your friend! Why would you cave in to him like this? He’s a jealous idiot. I could have taken you from him any time. He should thank me! I returned him a beautiful wife. So what, you were late getting home. You two are always together. I needed you! Not Tyler! You’re a grown woman and you were out with your friend, then visited me for a few minutes! He’s angry like a baby for nothing!”

  S
tunned, Luna tried to explain, “Look, Nico, I’m sure Ty will let it go. I think you’re overreacting.”

  “Fuck you both! You were nothing before me. I gave you back your life, and this is the thanks I get!”

  “I’m sorry, Nico, I shouldn’t have said anything. He was just pissed off at me for being inconsiderate and not calling.”

  Nico ranted, “Forget it! I don’t want to go. I’ll go out with my friends. I was only coming for your sake anyway. I bought that Easter basket for the kids, but forget it!” Suddenly the line went dead. She thought about calling him back, but decided to wait, hoping both Nico and Tyler would calm down.

  Luna was devastated. She felt that Nico was right. She was sure Tyler had been jealous since the time they went dancing. Getting home late was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

  Sunday morning, Luna called Nico to say Tyler had calmed down, and to please come with them. But his phone went directly to voice mail.

  She had breakfast, took a shower, then tried him again—again it went straight to voice mail. It was possible he’d gone to a club and stayed out all night, so she waited a bit longer before trying again—still voice mail. Though she felt guilty, they left for her brother’s house without him. Hours later, he finally answered, and mumbled almost incoherently, “I don’t feel well. I’m not coming. I just want to stay in bed.”

  Luna begged, “Why, Nico? Please just get on the bike and come, it’s only Santa Monica. You’ll feel better.”

  Blaming her, he replied, “You didn’t want me to come—and you canceled me.”

  She argued, “That’s not true. Of course I want you.”

  Nico dismissed her. “Well it’s too late now. It’s an afterthought. You should’ve thought of this when you had the fight with Tyler. You’re not my friend, Luna.”

  Luna was sobbing and didn’t want anyone to see her, so she walked out into the yard. She whimpered, “I’m sorry, Nico. I truly am. I let Tyler dictate, and I always let you down.”

  Brushing her off, he replied, “Have a nice time, Luna,” and hung up.

  She didn’t call back—there wasn’t anything she could say to make it right. Tyler got pissed off at her for being inconsiderate, so she had pushed Nico aside. Now, in hindsight, she realized she had been squeezed between Nico and Tyler, and the clash had been inevitable. This time, Tyler had found the perfect opportunity to place a wedge between them.

  23

  Luna sat at a table in Pizza Rev on Ventura near Nico’s studio, waiting for him. When he walked in and his eyes met hers, she felt the familiar fire butterflies in her solar plexus. It made no difference that she now knew it was because of the cord that attached them.

  Stopping at the counter to order, he called out, “Want anything?”

  She just shook her head no and pretended to text on her phone. Waiting at the counter for the pizza, he kept looking over at her, shaking his head and scowling. He was wearing his clingy black yoga pants, a T-shirt with a trendy skull design on the front, and classic black suede Pumas. Again, he looked unkempt, his hair matted and his face unshaven, like he’s just crawled out of bed. She had an urge to get up and hug him, but she was nailed to her seat, unable to move. He walked over to her table with the pizza and a bottle of water. Sitting down, he looked at her suspiciously from under his lock of hair. Then, disregarding her, he picked up a slice, folding it in half as he took a bite. She looked down, waiting for him to say something.

  Breaking the silence, he nudged, “Go on. Take a slice. I know you want one.”

  Looking up, she saw he had a string of cheese clinging to his lower lip, and reached across the table to wipe it away. He tried to act annoyed at her intimate gesture, but she saw his eyes soften.

  “Luna, you really hurt me. You blew me off. I didn’t get out of bed all weekend.”

  “I’m sorry, Nico.” Though it sounded hollow, she really meant it. She looked down at the pizza, deciding to take a slice.

  “You know I can’t resist pizza,” she said, trying to make him smile.

  “Luna, I’m all alone, I have no one. I thought you were my friend, and you left me. It really hurt.”

  Her eyes welled up with tears. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, but it seemed she always disappointed him. “Nico, I love you so much. I’m so sorry. Tyler was furious with me. I had no choice.”

  Nico glared. “Of course you had a choice—but you didn’t make the right one.”

  She wiped away her tears. “You’re right.” She reached for his hand and for a moment he let her hold it, then slid it away. “What are we going to do, Nico? I want you in my life, forever—you know that I don’t want to lose you.” Looking for the right words, she paused. Unable to find them, she wondered aloud, “Why is it so hard for me to have both of you?”

  Nico raised his eyes to meet hers and they penetrated to her soul. “What do you mean?”

  Luna hesitated. Struggling, she mused, “Nico, we’re a part of each other. I just need to know that we’ll always be in each other’s lives.”

  Recalling his words, “I could have taken you from him any time,” Luna wished he would echo her feelings. When he said nothing, she inquired, “Do you feel the same way, Nico? Am I imagining things? I don’t want to even think about what almost happened at the club.”

  “Luna, don’t think anything. We’re just friends.”

  “I hope we’re friends forever, Nico, but why don’t you want me? Why everyone but me?”

  Alarmed, he looked up. His glare burned into her. “Would you want it to go further, Luna?”

  She picked at the cheese on her now cold slice of pizza. “Well, it would ruin everything. I know you—if it ever went any further, you wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.”

  Unable to hold his gaze, she looked down, embarrassed and regretting what she’d said. She sensed it was awkward for both of them.

  “Look, I have to get to the bank before my sessions. I’ll talk to you later.”

  He stood abruptly, and she blurted out, “Are we OK?” hoping he didn’t detect the panic in her voice.

  “Yes. Of course we are.”

  Nico’s face was red and puffy. Erin was scheduled to meet with Deepak Chopra and Nico had tasked Luna with preparing his book proposal and sample chapters of his memoir. “Erin said she’d hand it right to him,” he said emphatically. Lately, he exploded over the smallest things and the veins in his forehead bulged, frightening her.

  Walking on egg shells, Luna felt she had no choice. “I’ll get it done, but let’s not upset Tyler. He’s been saying I give you too much of my time.”

  Nico sighed and looked at her scornfully. “You’d better not let me down again, Luna.”

  As hard as Luna tried, things remained strained between them.

  Agitated, Nico couldn’t be still, first sitting in his chair with his leg bouncing, then getting up and pacing—all the while dictating to Luna. When she complained that his sentences weren’t correct, he blew up at her, calling her a moron. Frustrated, she got up. “I can’t take it, Nico…”

  “No, Luna! You can’t leave until I say you can leave. You owe me! I gave you your life back!”

  He’d done this before—petrifying her. She pleaded, “Nico, I want to go home. You’re scaring me. I can’t work like this!”

  His eyes remained dark. “Luna, don’t fuck with me. I’ll tell Tyler that you beg to have sex with me, and that you’re always throwing yourself at me.”

  She was incredulous. “That’s not true, Nico! Why would you say that?”

  Nico’s face was stony, his eyes black holes and his voice tight. “Because you propositioned me in the pizza place, and I recorded you with my phone.”

  Mortified, she shrieked, “What?! You recorded me? That’s disgusting! You can go to hell, Nico!”

  “I’ll go over to your house and play it for Tyler. Don’t you believe me?”

  Her mind raced, replaying the conversation in her head…trying to remember exactly what she’
d said. Certainly, she had no recollection of saying anything close to that. Nico stood frozen, waiting for her next move.

  “I didn’t say anything I’m ashamed of, so if you want, go tell Tyler. But we’re through!” Furious, Luna grabbed her tote bag and made for the door. “I could never trust you again. A friend would never do such a thing!” she screamed.

  Grappling for her bag, he missed, and his nails gouged the skin on her arm.

  Crying out, Luna hurled the bag at his head in self-defense. Blocking the attack, Nico snatched it away from her. Dumping the contents on the floor, he found her phone and threw it. “You’re not going anywhere, Luna. Sit back down!”

  “Nico!” she wailed as the phone made contact. The sound of it hitting the wall was deafening, not so much from the impact, but from its finality. Picking it up, she screamed at him, “You fucking broke my phone!” Sobbing, she fell to her knees to collect her things, shoving them back into her bag. “I’m leaving, and I never want to see you again!”

  “Fuck you, Luna. You’re not my friend. You’re just like everyone else…”

  At the door, Luna whipped around, assailing him, “It’s not true. I never said that, Nico!” she sobbed, unable to catch her breath. “And if you cause a problem with Tyler, just remember, we can never be friends again. He would never allow it. And not because I may fantasize about you—but because you’re evil.”

  Luna’s heart raced as the fear rose within her. What if he’d altered the recording, taking what she’s said out of context? She did say she fantasized about him. She would never cheat on Tyler. Finding her words from beneath the waves of dread gripping her, she asked gravely, “Why do you feel the need to blackmail me, Nico. What have I done to deserve that?”

  He snickered. “Luna, you’ve been spiteful and disloyal, and you betrayed me. It’s your fault. You have pushed me away. I’ve given you everything…your youth…that award. Without me, you’re nothing.”

  Hurt and broken, she said, “Nico, you’ve really crossed the line. I’m leaving. And by all means, go ahead and call Tyler.”