Suddenly Psychic

by Melanie Baxter

  "I think you better demonstrate, oh other-worldly one."

  He grinned wickedly and leaned in to kiss me again when the chrome clock next to me bleeped and a sultry female voice announced, “Good morning, Mr. Williams. Memory notes for Monday 28th April. Meeting this morning with Jules and Sunbed Sonia number one ... remember to check for toothpaste on tie, number two..."

  Harvey looked alarmed and leaned over me to switch off the clock, but I held his arm back.

  "Hang on, is this the memoir clock you're working on? I want to hear what's on the list! This is great."

  "No, stop it. It's embarrassing."

  "Buy new underpants, number four."

  I burst out laughing as Harvey pinned my arm down and leaned across, finally switching the clock off.

  He turned to me with his eyebrows drawn together in mock seriousness and tweaked my nose. “Look I've really got to go. I want to see Jules first thing. He's going to be sorry he ever messed with you, believe you me.” Harvey's eyes turned serious for a second before he took a feather out of my hair gently and blew it into the air. “Will you be here when I get back?"

  I rubbed my eyes and realized that I too was due back at work. Trish would be wondering where I was. “Well, I've got to go to work too, you know, after I've been to this witch doctor of yours."

  "Don't tell me you're really going to carry on this psychic stuff? After all the trouble it's caused?” Harvey looked exasperated.

  "I can't let Trish down, the clients will be expecting me. And besides, I really need the money, my rent was due two weeks ago."

  "So move in with me."

  I was unable to swallow. “What?"

  "I'm serious. I love you and I want to be with you. Move in with me."

  As I looked into those flecked green eyes, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a precipice, unsure whether to jump for joy or run back from the edge in fear.

  "But, but what about Pudding?” I stalled.

  "Pudding can come too. But he'll have to have the spare bed.” His eyebrow quirked up. “I don't agree with threesomes.” I bit my lip. “Well, there's no pressure, have a think about it anyway.

  "Damn!” He looked at his watch again, “I've really got to run. Call me after you've seen Doctor Adams.” He kissed me again and traced his finger down my cheek before backing out of the door. “And don't forecast the end of the world, will you?"

  He blew me a kiss as I waved him off.

  I tore off another bit of croissant and chewed it slowly, feeling bereft now that the apartment was empty of his presence. Move in with Harvey? It was what I'd wanted since forever, but I was scared. I'd never cared about someone so much in my life. What if it ruined things?

  "Nothing ventured, nothing strained,” Dad used to say when Mum told him to exercise. Perhaps he was right for once.

  Still, sometimes it was worth taking risks and my instincts were screaming at me to pack my bags and move in with him before he got home. I shivered and hugged myself as I imagined us snuggling up in front of DVDs at night, the lights turned low as we kissed on the recliner. Pudding dribbling contentedly in between us. It was a lovely thought. I sighed then grimaced as I saw the time. It was going to be a real rush. I knew Trish was expecting me in at 10.30 a.m. and I couldn't let her down. After all she'd been marvelous about me having time off. I slid out of bed, pushed the daydreams aside, and prepared to find out what the doctor had to say.

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  Chapter Thirty

  Exit Lady Luck

  Dr. Adams's waiting room was set at the top of a beautifully renovated Georgian building tucked behind the main shopping street in Knightsbridge. I was thankful I was wearing Monique's designer top when the softly spoken receptionist beckoned me to sit down on a sumptuous leather sofa and gestured to the country life and polo magazines on the antique oak table. As I eyed the huge Angel fish cruising through the interconnected aquarium, she offered me a cup of Earl Grey tea.

  "No thanks, I'm in a bit of a hurry."

  "Of course, I'll see if he's ready for you yet.” She smiled at me and opened the paneled door with the gleaming brass plate.

  "Come right in.” She popped her head back out, and I stood up and smoothed down my jeans, hoping I didn't look like I was wearing last night's clothes.

  "Ah, you must be Amber. I'm Doctor Adams. Do sit down.” Doctor Adams was small and bald with shrewd, blue eyes and a sharp, beaky nose.

  I sat down on the chair and clasped my clammy hands together, anxiety fluttering in my stomach.

  "What can I do for you today?” Doctor Adams rested his hands on the desk, leaning forward with a sympathetic, but somehow clinical, smile.

  "Harvey thought I should see you, really. I don't know quite where to start. I've been having a few problems, headaches, dizziness, and I fainted a few weeks ago."

  Doctor Adams made supportive noises, nodding and taking notes as I described the fatigue and aches and pains. When I got to the bit about the facial hair and my hands, feet, and nose growing, he looked up from his notes and a strange look flittered across his features. It must have sparked his interest as he scribbled something with what looked like a question mark at the end. He tapped his platinum pen to his lips and leant forward in his seat.

  "Have you had any cravings for sweet things and possibly a strange metallic taste in your mouth from time to time?"

  I scratched my head and realized that, whilst I'd always had a sweet tooth, I had been gobbling down chocolate and sweets more than usual in the past month. The strange taste in my mouth also was something I'd experienced. I nodded.

  "And have you been emotional at all?"

  As I looked into his eyes and saw the sympathy mingled with curiosity, inexplicably I felt my throat tighten and my eyes sting with tears.

  "Not really,” I sniffed. “Well perhaps a little."

  He handed me a box of Aloe vera tissues as, much to my horror, I began sobbing.

  "I'm sorry ... I'm not normally like this ... it's just been a very stressful time recently.” I gulped and tried to pull myself together, totally mortified.

  He shook his head at my concerns. “It's totally understandable. Look, I'd like to take some blood this morning and book you in for a scan next week."

  "A scan? What sort of scan?"

  Dr. Adams said soothingly, “Look, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but I think you may have a pituitary gland imbalance. The pituitary is the master gland in the brain. I can't be sure until we've tested you, but it would explain the abnormal growth and hormonal changes."

  "Is that serious?"

  Dr. Adams touched my arm. “It's very unlikely to be serious, but it's best to be on the safe side with these things. Let's find out what's happening first and then take the next step."

  I blew my nose on a tissue and took a shaky breath. “Well, it's a relief to know I'm not going mad or turning into a witch, I suppose."

  Doctor Adams looked at me quizzically as he tightened the band on my arm ready to take some blood.

  "For a while there I began imagining I was transforming into some hideous witch when my feet, hands, and nose grew and my voice started going husky,” I explained.

  "It must have seemed most peculiar and very frightening I'm sure.” Doctor Adams rubbed the cold anesthetic on my vein with some cotton wool. “Growth spurts are not uncommon with pituitary gland disorders though. It tends to affect the extremities—feet, hands, nose. I'm sure we'll soon be able to bring those growth hormones under control.” He dropped the cotton wool into a steel basin and picked up the needle. “I treat many unusual conditions here and patients are often tremendously relieved when they find out the cause is medical—that they are not imagining things. I had one patient convinced he'd been abducted by aliens once when all he had was a ... sharp prick coming ... rare skin disorder..."

  I swallowed as he jabbed the needle into my arm and my blood trickled into the little test tube.

  "We have a private la
boratory on site so I'll get the test results back tomorrow afternoon. We'll know the basic state of play before we book you in for your scan.” Dr. Adams returned to his desk, thumbed through a diary, and circled a date. “The MRI center reserves a slot for me on Fridays, I can book you in at 9.00 A.M."

  "But I work on Fridays, could we do a Saturday instead?"

  Dr. Adams shook his head and tapped his pen to his lips. “Has to be Friday, I'm afraid. The sooner the better."

  I left Dr. Adams's plush offices with my next appointment card tucked into my purse and headed home to change before going off to The Rowan Tree. As soon as I'd sat on the tube, I phoned Harvey. He was so sweet, making me smile again with his suggestions that he become a fulltime male nurse and give me bed baths until I was better.

  "Look, Dr. Adams said it's nothing to worry about—the tests are just routine, so I'm afraid your male nursing days may have to wait a while, until I'm 80 at least.” I waved away his concern as he asked me again exactly what Dr. Adams had said.

  "So what happened in the meeting with Jules?” I asked, anxious to change the subject.

  "I think you'll find this very funny. No I'm not telling you now. Can I come round to yours after work? I can tell you all about it then."

  "I'd love that. But tell me now about Jules, don't keep me in suspenders."

  "But I like you in suspenders! No, sorry, you'll just have to wait,” he teased, refusing to say another word on the subject.

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  Chapter Thirty-One

  Back in the Rowan Tree

  By the time I got to The Rowan Tree, most of the morning had gone. Luckily Trish had texted me to say my first appointment had been cancelled and the next wasn't until 12, so I'd had time for a shower and coffee at home. The smell of lavender oil wafted towards me as I opened the tinkling door.

  "Hello, dearie. How are you?"

  The sight of Trish's plump, freckled face was a welcome distraction from my visit to the doctor.

  "Hi, Trish, what's all this?” I looked at the pile upon pile of small boxes stacked up by the counter.

  Trish rolled her eyes. “Quite literally an absolute balls up. I told them 2 crystal balls and 100 milliliterss of rescue remedy and they've bought me 100 crystal balls and 2 bottles of rescue remedy. Can you believe it? I'll tell them their fortune as soon as they come in here to collect them, I can tell you."

  I giggled and picked up one of the boxes, opening it to find a battery powered plastic ball with a small display screen.

  "Looks like I'll be redundant soon.” I shook the ball and a message flashed up on the screen reading “Most likely". I showed Trish.

  "Twoddle. I've had clients begging for you to fit them in, they adore you. I tell you, there's no substitute for a real psychic like you. You're certainly not allowed to have any more time off. Why are you looking like that? Is something wrong?"

  "I ... I might actually need a day off later this week. I had to pop to the doctors this morning—oh it's nothing serious,” I added as Trish's face fell. “It's just some pituitary gland thing. They're doing tests tomorrow and want me to go for some scan, just to be sure."

  "Good gracious!” Trish's hands leapt to her cheeks. “That's your third eye. You know, the pituitary gland has been linked to the third eye and psychic ability since the beginning of the mystic age. Perhaps you've been overdoing it."

  "Really? Is it really supposed to be connected?"

  "Hang on.” Trish squeezed herself from behind the counter and swished the Mexican scarf over her shoulder. Bitterness welled up and my nausea returned as my thoughts spiraled into the psychic curse theory again. Snap out of it, I told myself sharply. Harvey had explained everything, and Dr. Adams had confirmed it was a medical thing. Surely it couldn't really be connected to my fortune readings.

  "Here we are.” Trish called, triumphantly pulling out a black book from the psychic section and waving it in the air.

  I shook my head in disbelief as Trish thumbed through the pages, then stopped, reading out loud, “The pineal gland and pituitary body must vibrate at the same frequency in order to open the third eye. It's all right here in black and white."

  Trish returned to the counter and flapped the book in front of my eyes. I squinted to see the title.

  "I Spy With My Third Eye?” I murmured.

  "Yes, it's practically a bible on psychic health,” Trish said brightly and pressed it into my hands.

  I groaned and pushed the book away. “Trish, I don't think I want to know. It's all a bit much to take in."

  But Trish wouldn't be dissuaded; her mothering instincts seemed to have gone into overdrive. “Nonsense, dear. I'm going to make us a nice cup of chai tea and then we'll look through this and see if there are any suggestions for third eye problems. Sit in my shiatsu chair and mind the till while I go to the kich."

  "I suppose you've got some drops for it have you?” I called, shaking my head as I sank into the low slung chair behind the counter.

  I pressed the ‘on’ switch and the plastic balls beneath the leather kneaded the tension away in my spine. I served a couple of customers, and soon Trish returned and began furiously thumbing through the ‘third eye’ book, scribbling a list of cures for my third eye on recycled fairy paper. My protests were futile as her eyes shone with the opportunity try out a few new holistic experiments.

  "Right, well, it's your sixth chakra that's the problem.” Trish waggled her pen at me. “It's unclean so you need to bathe it in indigo light and meditate with amethyst whilst burning jasmine oil."

  "How did it get dirty?” I blinked.

  She frowned for a moment. “Well it doesn't say about that. Anyway, it's the cure we're worried about, isn't it?"

  The door chimes startled me. I did a double take as I recognized Tanya with her hair swept up into two pigtails and a small bump peeking between her hipster jeans and her bright orange cropped jumper. She stood for a moment in the doorway then rushed towards me in her black platforms with a scream of delight.

  "My Gawd, girl, I've missed ya! I had to get an appointment with you just to catch up."

  "Are you Tanya Wilcox?” Trish ticked off the 12 o'clock appointment in the diary which I hadn't even looked at yet.

  "Soon to be Tanya Opolopodis"’ said Tanya, nudging me and linking my arm.

  "Tanya, this is Trish, Trish, this is my wild friend I was telling you about."

  Trish beamed and shook Tanya's hand, admiring her Peace pendant. “Any friend of Amber's is a friend of mine. Isn't she wonderful?"

  "Yeah, it's fab having a psychic for a best mate I can tell yer—knocks spots off some of ‘em fakes in Blackpool too, eh?” Tanya laughed her hippo laugh.

  I half dragged Tanya away from the counter and into the enchanted grotto at the back of the shop as Trish served someone else.

  "Cor, these aren't too comfy are they?” Tanya bounced up and down on the toadstool and put her platforms up on the low table.

  "You look fab, Tanya, pregnancy's really suiting you."

  "Ya reckon? S'not all fun an games though, only just stopped puking ‘n I'm getting pretty bored of soft drinks all night."

  "It'll be worth it though. I can't believe you're going to be a mum, Tan, twins too!"

  "Yeah. Titus is dead proud, he's gonna be such a good Dad, and we're getting on brilliant. Family ain't too thrilled though; me mam says I'm ruining my life."

  I shrugged. “Well it's your life not hers and ... Oh my god, it's beautiful!"

  I grabbed Tanya's hand as she dangled the huge diamond in front of me and tossed her head.

  "Tis, isn't it. So many carrots it matches my jumper. And we've set a date. I want you to be a bridesmaid, girl."

  "Oh that's fantastic!” I stood up and gave her a hug, blinking back the tears in a sudden rush of emotion.

  "Eh. It's me that's meant to be emotional, girl, what's up? I thought you'd made up with hunky-pants."

  "I have, it's just some pituitary gland
thing, it controls the hormones. I saw a doctor about it this morning. That's why I'm emotional and my feet have grown."

  "Bloody hell, girl! That sounds bad. Don't worry though, you can get it sorted straight after your Holiday. You're flying to Jamaica tomorra."

  "Tomorrow?"

  "Yep. That's where I'm getting hitched. Titus has organized everything. Pretty spontaneous, eh, just how you like it. He booked the Jamaican vicar weeks ago without me even knowing. Before he even knew I was preggers. How about that. He even organized an extra flight ticket so I could take who ever I wanted to be witness. We fly off in the morning and we'll be back a week later, your flight's all booked."

  I sat down on the toadstool, lost for words, my mouth opening and closing with nothing to say.

  Finally, I shook my head. “Tomorrow? I can't, Tanya. I've just got back with Harvey and I have to have a scan on Friday."

  "A scan? Bloody hell. But I want you there. You can ‘ave the scan when you get back can't you?” Tanya pushed out her bottom lip and batted her heavy eyelashes at me.

  I grabbed her hand. “I had no idea you were planning to get married so soon. I wish you'd given me some notice. I can't just drop everything. You can take Monique, and I'll be there in spirit I promise."

  "Not good enough, girl, you can't back out. I need you there."

  For the next ten minutes she tried to bulldoze my excuses. At one point she threatened to cancel the wedding if I couldn't be there. I reasoned with her. She eventually realized I would not be persuaded.

  She chewed her lip for a moment then shrugged and gave me a hug. “Well, can't say I'm not disappointed, but you better get this gland of yours sorted.” She punched me on the arm. “Don't want you going all narky on us now do we? Eh, girl? Eh?

  My stomach churned uncomfortably as I remembered how angry I'd been when I'd thrown the drink at Harvey; my hormones must have been totally out of whack.

  "Don't be daft. I'm only stirring you, girl. They'll probably just give you some ‘ormones to scoff and you'll be normal again, well as normal as you ever were. Don't look so serious, girl, it'll be fine, it'll have to be ‘cos you're gonna be godmother to these little blighters when they arrive."