Tanya patted her stomach and smiled at me. She could never be serious for long. It was just Tanya.
I smiled back at her. “So you've got your dress and everything?"
Tanya launched into an animated description of the leopard edged white bikini and sequined sarong she was planning to get married in. When she described the old colonial style hotel they were going to be staying at, I was quite envious I wasn't going. Her eyes shone with excitement as she talked about Titus and their plans to buy a house when they got back.
"Anyways, are you gonna give us a reading now, girl, or what? I've paid my 40 quid so you'd better make it a good one.” She warned.
I grinned and picked up the cards from the table. It was hopeless of course—everything I told her, she kept saying I was “way out” or “dead wrong"
"'Cor, blimey mate, I reckon I could do a reading better than you today,” she guffawed as I told her she and Titus were entering a spiritual development phase. “Get real, girl, I'm up the duff and getting hitched. Call that spiritual?"
Half an hour later, I was practically pushing Tanya out of the door as she tried to ask Trish when the next Tantric sex session would be held.
"I'll speak to you tomorrow before I fly.” Tanya beamed and flung her arms around me before hurrying off to see Monique at work. I hoped she wasn't in the middle of an important sales meeting.
"She seems like a sweet girl, dear.” Trish looked up from the psychic book as I returned to the counter. “Now you've got two more appointments this afternoon and then I think you ought to finish up. You're fully booked tomorrow so you need to be fresh. Don't worry though, I've saved a space so we can try out some colour therapy to try to clear your third eye."
I opened my mouth to protest but closed it again. Trish just wanted to help. Seeing Tanya shining with promise had given me the courage to listen to my heart. Finishing early would give me time to call Harvey—and then I had some packing to do.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Thirty-Two
Misreading The Signs
The next morning I slept late. I spooned muslei into my mouth as fast as I could as Pudding wailed and weaved in between my chair legs. He knew something was going on from the half-filled boxes in the kitchen and my bulging suitcase on the bedroom floor. I had made the mistake of not closing it last night and now my clothes were covered in his black hair.
I scraped the last mouthful from my bowl and jumped up to put the milk back in the fridge which looked strangely bare. I'd stripped all the magnets and leaflets hanging on the door last night in my frenzy to move. I still had a lot to do, but Harvey was going to help me finish packing tonight.
"Sorry I couldn't come round last night,” he apologized on the phone earlier. “Just a last minute meeting. Got to make sure Jules can't slip out of the deal I'm brokering."
"What deal? I can't believe you still won't tell me."
"Just a couple of weeks and all will be revealed."
"A couple of weeks? No way. I'll get it out of you before then, you know I will. Just tell me!"
But Harvey deflected my tirade of questions effortlessly. It was excruciating. Eventually I gave up.
"So are you sure you're ready for Pudding and me?"
"Well, it's not really you I'm after, it's Pudding—I need him to test my new cat-exercise vacuum."
I giggled and told him to behave.
When I arrived at the shop, Trish pointed out the dried toothpaste on the side of my mouth. I dabbed it quickly with a tissue.
"So did Tanya get off alright, dear? Such a shame that you can't join them."
"You should have heard her at the airport this morning, she was so excited she nearly burst my eardrums.” It had been good to talk to her and Monique before they left. A ripple of regret stirred in my stomach but dissolved when I remembered Harvey was helping me move later. Whilst Tanya was getting married, I would be experiencing my first night as Harvey's live-in lover.
"Your next appointment's in half an hour so there's just time for a quick session of color therapy."
Trish pulled out a giant lamp and placed it on the desk, fumbling with the plug and slotting a blue sheet of Perspex over the bulb.
"I thought we were going to do it later,” I protested.
She looked over her glasses at me sternly and held up a finger to her lips. “We are, but you've just got time to get pepped up before your first client. The sooner we get you cleansed, the better. Now come and sit down at once."
I slipped off my jacket. My embroidered bag felt a little heavier than usual as I slung it by the till. I'd put the karmic egg in there to show Trish later. I flopped into the shiatsu chair, closing my eyes as she flicked on the switch and the blue heat from the lamp beamed onto my face. As the indigo glow seeped through my closed eyelids, I began to feel pleasantly drowsy. The headache that seemed to be constantly in the background these days lifted slightly and the tension in my shoulders eased. Perhaps it was helping my chakras after all.
Trish put on some dolphin music and burnt some jasmine oil while pressing a cool amethyst crystal into my hand. The clear ping of the triangle resonated above my head and Trish began to speak in a soft, low voice.
"Now imagine the waves of relaxation ... washing over you ... healing indigo light bathing your sixth chakra, cleansing ... letting negative energy flow away from you now..."
Trish's soft voice droned on. I yawned and tried to visualize the small gland inside my brain being washed clean by the blue light.
"The pure blue waves of relaxation are flowing down, purifying ... strengthening ... releasing ... pardon? Yes, dear, ear candles are down aisle three to your right."
My eyes flicked open as Trish gestured to a harassed looking mother with her two children. I flicked off the blue light and stretched.
"Hey, you can't stop yet. You haven't had your full 15 minutes.” Trish looked dismayed as I blinked up at her face which looked oddly greenish in the aftermath of the bright blue light.
"Don't worry, it's getting busy and I'm sure I've had enough."
"Well, why don't you take the lamp home with you tonight too and have a quick blast before bed."
I agreed as Trish took a celestial orb puzzle from a young girl and warned her not to get her fingers trapped in it like another customer had.
I made myself a cup of peppermint tea to try to escape from Trish's next experiment and thumbed through the diary to see who was booked in to see me next. I almost spat my tea out as I saw the name against the 9.30 a.m. appointment.
She was due any minute. I'd almost forgotten about Linda from Blobby's cleaners. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I'd taken her into the grotty café on the corner and convinced her that I had psychic abilities. The idea had been for her to blab to everyone about my powers and increase the phone calls I got. As it turned out, she hadn't brought in any business, as far as I could tell, and I hadn't needed her to.
The angel chimes on the door tingled, and Linda's slim frame stood frozen in the doorway like a terrified ferret. Her glossy pink lips were drawn back in horror as she stared at the giant cardboard cutout of Rupert and Irene in Lycra green suits demonstrating ‘frog fashion’ posture. Eventually she tore her gaze away from Irene's suggestive wink and Rupert's perfect teeth, her eyes darting everywhere as if her senses were overloaded by the kaleidoscope of chimes, dream catchers, witches, and fairies dangling from the ceiling.
"Hello, Linda!” I called cheerily, “Long time no see."
"Amber, I hardly recognized you, you look so ... so new age.” Her fake smile switched on as she picked her way through the trays of crystals towards me.
I smoothed my crushed velvet skirt and smiled. “Well I guess it's weird not seeing me in a suit."
"It's not just that, your face, your hair ... everything. I mean, it suits you, in a sort of alternative way, but anyway, how can you work in a place like this?” She inclined her head towards the cutout of Rupert and Irene which read. “Get franti
c about Tantric".
"Haven't you tried it? Tantric's a wonderful sport.” I said brightly, and her eyebrows raised. No doubt she would relish reporting back to anyone who knew me how I had changed for the worse. “Anyway, shall we go through?"
I led her into the enchanted grotto wondering what she wanted.
"I must say, it's quite a surprise to see you today, Linda. How can I guide you?” I sat forward on my toadstool, placing my palms up on the table.
Linda gawped at the mural, frowning at the little fawn with the oversized bottom before blinking rapidly at me. “Well, what you said came true last week. Old Blobby had a stroke and Spick ‘n Span have taken over. I simply had to come and tell you, and when I phoned your number, your answer machine said I could book an appointment here. I thought you might be able to give me some more career advice, you see."
"Ah. And you're now working for a woman right?” I asked, trying to keep the smile from my face as I realized why Linda was really here—career advice was just an excuse.
"Yes, that's right. She's, well she's quite a closed book, and I ... well, I was hoping you might be able to shed some light on the new people I'm working with.” Linda's smile twitched.
It was clear that Linda had come to me for one thing and one thing alone. Gossip. She just couldn't help herself. I pondered for a minute as I shuffled the cards and decided the best thing to do was to give her what she wanted.
Half an hour later, her eyes were shining with new knowledge. As she named the people at work and I asked her to draw a card from the pack for each one, I said the first outrageous thing that came into my head. She looked thrilled when I revealed Molly's obsessive-compulsive cleaning disorder and carpet shampoo sniffing habit. She gasped as I told her about Jim the salesman's weekend role as Jemima, and exclaimed at Tracy's previous job as an exotic dancer.
Finally she asked me to read a card for Peter, the operations manager. I could tell by the way she shuffled in her seat, she was particularly desperate to get some gossip on this one. I'd have to come up with something really juicy. She was practically trembling by the time I finished explaining, her glossy lips parted as her eye became wider, glittering with a strange sort of intensity I'd never seen before.
"...so I'm afraid the disease has left him with a wretched rash, cutting short his second career as a life-drawing model and leaving him totally impotent, poor man."
"How could you!” Linda exploded and I rocked back on my stool as she spat the words at me. “Spreading gossip about that beautiful man. I know for a fact that he's not impotent. How dare you say those things about my Peter?"
For a moment I was in shock. Cripes, I'd got it totally wrong. How, could I not have seen she was involved with this bloke? I picked up the card that showed the hanged man, and shook my head, pretending to be perplexed.
"You did say Pierre Fitzgerald didn't you?"
Her eyes narrowed. “You know fully well I said Peter. Peter Fitzgerald"
"Ah I do apologise Linda. The cards must have been referring to someone with the same name in France. These crossed channels sometimes happen."
Linda sniffed loudly and tossed her head. She was clearly not convinced.
"I guess it just shows we shouldn't believe everything we hear, eh? Gossip or no gossip.” I tried to make a joke, but her eyes became flinty and she put her hand on her hip.
Her nostrils flared “I hope you don't expect me to pay for this slander."
I gulped and forced a smile. I couldn't risk my reputation, but not being able to say what I felt was killing me.
"Of course not, Linda, I was going to give you a free reading anyway, for old times’ sake.” I managed as she swiveled on her heels and flounced out of the enchanted grotto.
First it was Tanya and now Linda. Everything seemed to be going wrong for my readings recently. What if I'd lost the knack? Anxiety tingled in the pit of my stomach. I waited until I heard the angle chimes at the front door before poking my head out. Trish grimaced at me.
"Did you have some bad news for her, dear?"
When I told Trish that Linda had been difficult and refused to pay, she patted my hand sympathetically.
"Don't you worry about it, pet. I knew she'd be trouble the moment she walked in, it was her aura, all swirly and green, like poison ivy."
I sighed and felt a little better.
"Talking of auras, do you like the new display?” Trish gestured to the aurographs she had pinned up on the notice board.
I swept my eyes over them. “Very effective. But what I don't understand is why all these look the same? It's like spot the difference, isn't it."
I pointed to the one of Trish with a sort of yellow, orange, and red haze around it and the one of me, which looked exactly the same.
"No dear. Look more closely. In fact, you can see that your third eye is out of balance."
"What?” I snatched down the Polaroid of me and studied it closely.
"Yes, you see that red spot above your head?"
"Yes?"
"Counselors often get that. I think it's because your clients are draining your aura, you know sucking all the positive energy off you and polluting you with their negative energies."
"Sounds terrible. But you've got one too."
"Well, yes, but it's not surprising ‘cos I've had my niece to stay and she's definitely been draining me, and Rupert and Irene have been on the phone and have had a dreadful upset at the retreat which drained me too."
"Oh?"
"Apparently there was a falling out over the food. Its all rationed and Irene wasn't allowed extra so there was rather a fuss and it ended up with the yogi getting a vegetable lasagna on the head."
I giggled. “So what does this black streak here mean?” I pointed to the small black line that was coming from my head on the aurograph.
"That's just a hair on the lense. No the interesting thing about yours is the amount of yellow on the left hand side. That means you're drawing knowledge towards you, learning a lot of new things."
"Well, I guess that's true. Look, here's Mrs. Morgan."
I smiled as Mrs. Morgan approached the counter looking better than I'd ever seen her. There was a slight color to her cheeks and her face had lost the pinched, haunted look. Instead of being scraped back in her usual bun, her brown wavy hair was loose today, softening her features and making her look a lot younger. She shook my hand warmly and we went through.
I was a bit shaken after the reading with Linda so played it very carefully, saying pretty much the same things as before. Mrs. Morgan smiled and nodded, only sniffing once or twice as we talked about letting Evie go. I was relieved to get to the end of the session without making any blunders.
As I scooped up the cards and smoothed the edges with my thumb, she said, “You know the counseling thing the cards said about?"
"Yes?"
"Well, they were wrong. It's not me that's having the counseling—it's me that's going to be doing the counseling."
"Really?"
"Yes, I've joined the Good Samaritans and will be counseling people in grief. It's you that set me thinking about it, really, but I've met some wonderful people there and I feel I've got so much to give. It's the anniversary tomorrow. Five years since she drowned. There. Drowned. I can say it now. I won't say I'll ever get over it, you can't, something like that, but I am learning to live with it. I'm even thinking about getting another puppy. It's thanks to you, Amber. I must say, at first I was skeptical, but you've proved me wrong. I'd like to say thank you for giving me hope and helping me to live again."
My throat tightened and I blinked back the tears as I gave her a hug. If I had been out to make money in the beginning, it wasn't about that anymore. Evie's owner just confirmed it. She paid at the till and we paused in the doorway for a moment as she clasped my hand warmly.
"Just one thing though, it's Pearson.” She said smiling at me.
"Pardon?” I coughed quietly to hide the emotion in my voice.
"Pea
rson. Janet Pearson is my name. I know you clairvoyants always give your clients pseudonyms to protect their confidentiality, but I feel we know each other well enough now for you to call me by my real name. And besides,” she lowered her voice “I've nothing to hide."
I felt numb as she gave my hand a last squeeze and stepped out into the street.
I barely had a chance to let her words sink in when Trish called over, “Is this the Karmic Egg you told me about, Amber?"
She had taken my bag off the counter and was unwrapping the cotton wool from the crystal egg that Madame Pungenti had given me. I closed the door slowly and joined Trish at the till as she studied the ancient emblem of karmic power.
"Ah yes—my niece got one of these in Covent Gardens the other week, rather good for three pounds aren't they? Shame they're not real turquoise. Made in Taiwan from resin, still, everything is these days isn't it..."
I didn't hear the rest of Trish's words. An overwhelming buzzing in my ears made my head reel, and I grabbed the counter for support, knocking off a whole tray of pewter talismans which crashed onto the floor in a hundred directions. For a moment I gasped and tried to focus on the glittery floor, but blackness was closing in at the edges of my vision and another wave of dizziness swept over me. The last thing I remember was a sharp pain that seared through the center of my head like a red hot poker before the floor leapt up and smothered me with blackness.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Thirty-Three
The Day I Died
For a long time the blackness swallowed me completely, drowning out everything. I spiraled deeper into the darkness. I tried to cling to details—Harvey's dimple, Trish's chipped nail polish, the white tip on Pudding's tail, hell, anything that would stave off my slip into the abyss. But even the memory of Irene straddling Yan's broad back couldn't save me. My thoughts became as fragile as cobwebs, thinning until time lost all meaning. How long I was like that I can't be sure. At some point I remember feeling like I was moving, not the dizzying swirl of my mind but a smooth, sort of physical motion. Then I went deeper into the darkness.
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