Reverend Feelgood

by Lutishia Lovely

  Dragging herself out of bed, Patricia trudged to the kitchen, put on a pot of coffee, and headed for the shower. While under the invigorating flow of tepid, almost cold water, she replayed in her mind the afternoon’s meeting with Deacon James Robinson.

  “Well, now, Sister Cook, I appreciate your enthusiasm, your desire to help advance the kingdom. But I really don’t see any type of paid position being created in this department, not in the foreseeable future, if at all.”

  “But what about once the actual building starts? Won’t there be a need for a liaison between the church and the construction company?”

  “Uh, Sister Cook, that would be me.”

  “Oh.”

  “Like I said, I admire your zeal for the Lord, but you’ve got a pretty good thing going at the post office. You say you’ve been there fifteen years?”

  Patricia nodded. “Going on sixteen.”

  “I heard the post office paid well. How are the benefits?”

  “They’re pretty good.”

  “And the retirement package? Can you retire after twenty years?”

  “Their program takes several factors into consideration, including age. I’m a long way from being able to retire, what with raising a daughter alone, and having to put her through college, starting next year. But the thing is, Deacon Robinson, working for the post office is just a paycheck, a means to an end. Working for the church, and with you, makes me feel like I’m doing something worthwhile, contributing to the greater good of not only the Christian community, but the community at large. Building this church will benefit more than Gospel Truth. It will bring in jobs, and open up opportunities for our young people. It blesses me to be a part of something like this.”

  Deacon nodded and stroked his chin as he listened to Patricia. She was a hard worker, and he admired her zest for the things of God. It was a pity he couldn’t do anything to help her. “I tell you what,” he said after a pause. “Why don’t you bring your résumé the next time we have a meeting. I’ll talk with Nate, and while I know there’s nothing available right now, we’ll put your information in our employment database so that if something comes that’s a fit, you can be considered.”

  “I appreciate that, Deacon Robinson. My administrative skills are good and I’m an excellent organizer. I know I can be of some benefit to the ministry if given the chance.”

  That part of the meeting went okay, Patricia thought, as she finished dressing and packed her lunch. It was what happened during the final five minutes of her and Deacon’s discussion, which, if she had it to do over again, would not have happened.

  “Is there anything else?” Deacon Robinson had asked.

  “Well…” Patricia hesitated, not sure if what she was about to do was appropriate. Her heartbeat quickened and she chewed her lip nervously. Unlike Jennifer, dealing with people in general and men in particular was not her forte. “Could I ask you a personal question, Deacon?”

  “Sure, you can ask it. There’s no guarantee you’ll get an answer, though.”

  “I was just wondering why you never married.”

  Deacon Robinson’s eyes widened in surprise. Patricia knew she’d overstepped her bounds.

  “I’m sorry for asking, just wondered—”

  “Well, now, that’s a good question, Sister Cook. I guess you might say it’s because I haven’t found the right woman yet.”

  “Do you ever…I mean, there are a lot of nice women here at Gospel Truth.”

  Deacon’s eyes had narrowed then. “There’s one or two.”

  “Would you like to, uh…What I’m trying to say is…when was the last time you had some good home cooking?”

  Another long pause had preceded Deacon’s answer. “I like my own cooking just fine, Sister Cook.” And then he’d smiled. “Is that how you got your last name?”

  “No, marrying a fool and taking his name is how I got it. Kept it because of my daughter. But I can cook.”

  “Well, now, one of these days I’m sure the Lord will bless you with somebody who will appreciate your meals.”

  With that, the deacon had stood, shook her hand, and walked out of the meeting room.

  Patricia pulled into the post office parking lot. She was ten minutes early and, instead of going inside and chatting with coworkers, she kept the radio on, listening to Willie Nelson sing about faded love. Few people knew that Patricia loved country music, but her mother was a big fan. Willie’s words soothed her, and she tried to stop feeling sorry for herself. She knew she wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the world, but she thought she cleaned up pretty good. She loved God, had a decent head on her shoulders, was a hard worker, and when she had one, treated her man like a king. There had only been a couple steadies in her life since birthing Carmen seventeen years ago. And aside from Reverend Thicke’s occasional pity covering, there was no one now. Patricia wanted to change that.

  If it had been Jennifer, he would have been all over the invitation, would have jumped at the chance to go to her house. But as Patricia clocked in to begin her shift, she reminded herself that while the deacon thought that Jennifer was “powerful pretty,” to him she was obviously just “plain Pat.”

  33

  Punanny on Lock

  “Hey, baby girl, why don’t you go ahead and give me your phone number so I can hollah at your fine ass.”

  Destiny smiled but kept walking. “I told you, Duane. I’m not available.” She knew that Duane Higgins, the football standout and biggest man on Southern University’s small campus, was not used to being told no.

  “And I told you that there ain’t nothing that nucka got that I ain’t got more of. You know I’m going places, baby. I want to take you with me.”

  “I heard the scouts have been swarming the campus.”

  “Man, they buggin’ a brothah for real! Offering millions in bonuses and shit, if I join their team now.”

  “Then why don’t you?”

  “Promised my moms I’d finish college. She’s all set on me getting a degree.”

  “Sounds like you have a smart mom.”

  “She would love you, Destiny. C’mon, girl, one date! Your boy ain’t here. What he don’t know won’t hurt him.”

  “But I’d know, Duane.” Destiny reached her car and hit the unlock button. “See you later.”

  Destiny laughed as she started her car and headed out of the school parking lot. She liked Duane, felt that for all his posturing, he was a genuinely good guy. A couple times she’d actually entertained the idea of going out with him, just for something to do. She had several casual acquaintances but she was a private person by nature, and cautious about letting anyone get too close. Since Melody had moved to Dallas, hers had been a rather lonely life.

  Well, speak of the devil. Destiny pushed the TALK button on the car’s speakerphone. “Melody! I was just thinking about you.”

  “For real? I called your home phone first.”

  “I just got out of classes. What are you doing?”

  “On my lunch hour. I just started a new job.”

  “A new job? What happened to the one at that upscale restaurant? I thought you said you liked it.”

  “Girl, that place was just a way for me to try and meet my next sugar daddy. It wasn’t happening fast enough. Another opportunity came along and I took it.”

  “Oh, so you’ll meet a sugar daddy on this job?”

  “We’ll see.”

  Destiny looked at her caller ID and found that, speaking of sugar daddies, hers was calling. “Melody, I’ll call you back. This is, uh, Kiki calling.” She hit her CALL WAITING button. “Nate, where are you?”

  “Miss me, baby?”

  “You know I do, all the time. Are you coming to see me?”

  “Next week, and I can’t wait. I miss you too, baby. How’s our son?”

  “Growing like crazy and trying to talk up a storm. I think he’s going to be a preacher, like his daddy.”

  “And he’ll be a good one too, especially being rai
sed by such a smart, beautiful woman.”

  Destiny blushed and warmed all over. Nate could say one word and she was putty in his hands. The way she loved that man made no kind of sense.

  “How’s school going, baby? You still on track to graduate in three years?”

  “Absolutely. That goal is what keeps me pushing.”

  “I thought it was the goal of being with me?”

  Destiny laughed. “That too.”

  Nate’s voice lowered to a sultry tone. “I know it’s not easy, baby, our being away from each other. But I love you and Benjamin with all my heart. Everything I’m doing, I’m doing for us.”

  Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a horn honking, loud and continuous. “I’ma follow you, baby!” Duane shouted from the open window of his SUV.

  Destiny laughed and waved.

  “Who was that?”

  “One of my crazy classmates.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Nate, it doesn’t matter. He’s just—”

  “What is his name?” Nate repeated.

  “Duane Higgins,” Destiny said. She knew the name wouldn’t get past her sports fanatical fiancé.

  “The Jaguar’s running back?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you seeing him, Destiny?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Look, I said I wasn’t. I’m not seeing anybody. And if you’re going to question me like a detective, then I’m going to hang up!”

  Nate took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Destiny; he just didn’t trust all the men he knew she was around. He also felt guilty that he hadn’t spent more time with her and Benjamin. The truth was, he was scared. Destiny had matured since going away to school and having the baby. She’d always acted older than her age, but there was a self-assurance to her now that made Nate feel vulnerable, like she didn’t need him. Having the baby had only enhanced her beauty. The last time he saw her and she approached the bed wearing stockings, a garter belt, and nothing else…she’d taken his breath away.

  “It’s time for you to come home, Destiny. Back to me, and Palestine.” Nate couldn’t believe how fast time had flown. It had been more than two years since Destiny had left Texas, Benjamin was almost a year old, Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and his seventh pastor anniversary was as many months away.

  “Midterms are next week. I’ll be free after that if you want us to meet somewhere.”

  “Why not just come and stay at my house?”

  “Nate, you know that wouldn’t be good for your image. Some people have no business of their own, and that’s why they’re always in yours.”

  “Are you sure that’s the reason?”

  “Reason for what?”

  “That you don’t want to come here. Look, I’ll fix it so nobody knows. While you’re here, I’ll conduct all my business at the church. Come here for the holidays, baby. I want you. I need you by my side. Will you come?”

  “Okay, Nate.”

  “You’re my destiny. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, Nate. I know.”

  A little over a month later, that’s exactly where Destiny and Benjamin were, in the gated community just outside of Palestine, Texas. Nettie and Katherine visited regularly, but aside from that, it was as if Destiny was cut off from the outside world. It was absolutely wonderful spending quality time with Nate, but she felt if she spent one more day inside this gilded prison, she’d climb the walls.

  “Just let me go to the mall, or take Benjamin for a walk.”

  “Baby, you know I can’t do that.”

  “Why not? These people don’t know me.”

  “But they know me, and believe me, neighbors are watching the house. I think somebody on the block knows somebody at Gospel.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Nate didn’t want to tell her the reason: that in a recent conversation Jennifer Stevens seemed to have an uncanny knowledge of who had been at his home and when they’d visited. He thought after getting fired as his manager, she’d simply leave the church, and the city. Instead she was at church every time the doors opened, front and center. The last thing he needed right now was a scandal involving his future wife.

  “Look, after I conduct the New Year’s Eve service, what do you say I take my two favorite people in all the world down to the Bahamas for a few days. Would you like that?”

  “Of course.”

  “Now, can I get something I like?”

  Destiny felt mixed emotions as Nate took her in his arms. She’d mentioned her heart’s desire to Nate, to be his one and only. He’d said he’d think about it, and obviously that’s all he did. This visit confirmed that women in general and Gospel Truth women in particular were still being covered.

  “Not tonight, Nate,” Destiny whispered. “Let’s wait till we’re married.”

  “Baby, in the eyes of God, we’re married now,” he’d whispered, all the while kissing her senseless, and gently prying her legs apart.

  “No, Nate,” Destiny said with her mouth, while the actions of her body defied her. Before she knew what was happening, her legs were spread wide and Nate was inside her, pounding her, owning her, as he always did.

  All too soon, it was time for Destiny to return to Louisiana. “Nate, are you still covering other women?” she asked shortly before leaving for the airport.

  “Don’t worry about other women,” he’d answered dismissively. “You’re my number one.”

  Two hours later, Destiny placed Benjamin back in his car seat and buckled him in, as the plane prepared to land at New Orleans’s Louis Armstrong International Airport. She was glad to be home, where she could think straight. True, she had loved every moment, every second in Nate’s arms. He was everything she wanted in a man, and he treated her like a queen, plying her with love and gifts at every turn. There was no doubt in her mind that he was the man for her, and she still recited her daily mantra about being his wife. The trip had reminded her why she loved him, and how much.

  But it had reminded her of other things, like his other women. No, they hadn’t come to the home, and no, she hadn’t attended any Gospel Truth services. But Nate’s phone rang nonstop, and she could tell from his side of the conversation when the call was from someone he covered. He’d told her about Jennifer Stevens no longer being in his employ, but what Destiny had read when she’d Googled the name Dana Owens let her know that his new manager was one to watch.

  And therein lay the problem: Destiny wanted to be a wife, not a watch dog. And she didn’t want to be number one, she wanted to be the only one. Miss Nettie had told her what she would do in the situation, advice that lined up with the words of women she now considered mentors, women like Vivian Montgomery and Carla Chapman. Destiny remembered a show where Carla had told a young teenager with two kids to put her punanny on lock. Destiny doubted she could refuse Nate’s sexual advances. She loved him too much, and was afraid of losing him if she said no.

  Then something Miss Nettie had said during their last conversation sounded in her head, her answer when Destiny had relayed this fear to her. “You can do all things through Christ, which strengthens you,” she’d said. Destiny knew good and well that to deny Nate and herself, she’d need God’s strength. Clearly, hers was not enough.

  “But how?” she whispered as she made her way to baggage claim to retrieve her luggage. This time it was Nate’s words that provided the answer: give up everything and have it all.

  Destiny decided then and there to try and honor the marriage vows she’d someday speak. She would give up something she loved dearly, the intimacy she experienced with him. She would give up trying to please him. And give up the fear of losing him if she didn’t give him what he wanted. In his book, Nate said that success rarely came without sacrifice. Destiny decided Nate was right. She would pray to God for the strength to do what was necessary…to honor and obey her husband…starting righ
t now.

  34

  Wonderful and Wise

  “How you doing, Mama Max?” Nettie asked when she answered the phone.

  “Oh, tolerable. I can’t complain.”

  “Then why haven’t I heard from you since when, around Valentine’s Day? That was almost a month ago! How’s the Reverend Doctor?”

  “You ask me, ain’t nothing wrong with that man that getting back in the pulpit won’t cure. He ain’t been the same since he retired; I think all these ailments are just a result of him being sick about that! It’s my daughter-in-law what’s kept me busy. Tai had a scare just after the holidays when those fibroid tumors she’s battled for years really started acting up. Three weeks ago, she had to have surgery and then had a reaction to some medication her doctor prescribed. I’ve been helping King with her and the kids. Barely had time to think, let alone talk to anybody who wasn’t in the room. You was absent from my head, chile, but not my heart.”

  “Don’t pay me no never mind, Mama. I’ll be sure to pray Reverend and Tai’s strength in the Lord.”

  “We appreciate that, Nettie. Goodness knows that prayer changes thangs. What about you? How you getting along?”

  “Like you, I can’t complain. Me and Gordon thinking about taking a trip around Memorial Day. We haven’t been on a real vacation in years. Thinking about going to either Florida or California.”

  “That sounds nice. Life’s too short, girl. You got to take time out to enjoy yourself.”

  “That’s what I’ve been thinking. And since this might be the calm before the storm…”

  “Uh-oh. What’s going on now?”

  “We’re all going to find that out in about three months.”

  “Why, what’s happening in three months? Let’s see, that’ll be what…June?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Nate’s anniversary.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Lord have mercy, and don’t forget grace. What’s your son gone and done now?”

  “He’s making a formal announcement of his engagement to Destiny.”

  “Already?”

  “That was my reaction. I think he should wait one more year. What’s the hurry? She’s got one more year of college and is adamant about finishing. And it’s been so far so good where Benjamin is concerned. After the initial gossip, which wasn’t that much, about Simone coming here with a baby, it’s been quiet in that area, far as I can tell. Nate’s doing so well with the ministry. They just broke ground on the new building, and his appearance on Oprah sent his book back to number one on that New York Times list. And he’s conducting his first conference overseas, in London. He’s got a lot on his plate right now, which is why I told him that now might not be the best time to announce it. But ever since Destiny came to visit him over the holidays, he’s been adamant about taking their relationship public. I understand it partly. That girl is almost too beautiful for her own good, even more so since she had his child.” Nettie chuckled. “First time in my life I’ve seen Nate nervous when it comes to a woman, but that little girl has got his number, you can believe that. He told me he’d think about what I said, but I know my son. Ain’t no changing it when his mind’s made up. And it’s made up.”