He's After Me

by Higgins, Chris

‘Let her go,’ jeers Jem. ‘She’s nuts.’

  Zoe comes to a halt and turns around, metres from the house, her face contorted with fury. She thrusts her arm out, pointing at Jem who is now standing beside me.

  ‘And you are SCUM!’ she yells and I hear Livi gasp.

  Jem’s lip curls and he saunters down the step towards her but she stands her ground. ‘And YOU!’ She turns her accusing finger towards me. ‘You are the biggest loser I have ever met in my life.’

  ‘What is wrong with her?’ asks Livi, grabbing my arm.

  ‘You involved me in all this, you bitch! You made me your alibi, and all the time you were scheming, planning …’

  ‘Zoe! I didn’t know—’

  ‘Don’t give me that! I believed you! I thought it was him! I thought he was the weird one! But you’re just as bad …’

  ‘What’s going on out here?’ Dad’s strong hands grasp my shoulders and move me to one side and he stands at the top of the step. ‘What’s all this about, Zoe?’

  ‘Ask your freaking daughter!’

  ‘Come inside and we can talk about it.’

  ‘She’s mad!’ says Jem, a sneer on his face.

  ‘I’m not mad, you are!’ screams Zoe. ‘And you!’ She points at me again, beside herself with rage. ‘You’re twisted! You’re worse than him … You’d screw over your own father to keep him happy …’

  ‘Don’t listen to her,’ says Jem quickly. ‘She’s a psycho!’

  ‘I’m not the psycho! You’re the one who breaks into places. You’re the one who steals. You’re the one who trashes people’s homes.’

  ‘Oh God!’ Behind me I hear Mum catch her breath.

  Tears stream down my face.

  ‘It wasn’t like that!’ I whisper as my legs give way and I stumble. An arm comes round my waist to support me. Dad’s.

  ‘Bitch!’ Jem advances on Zoe, his face ugly with rage.

  Mum brushes past me and wraps her in her arms and Zoe collapses against her, crying.

  ‘How could you?’ says Mum, metres from him. ‘We trusted you! I trusted you with my daughter!’

  Jem’s face changes. It’s open now, wide with affronted innocence. He spreads his hands wide, appealing to her. ‘It’s all lies,’ he says. ‘She’s one mad cow! I’ve never even been inside your husband’s flat.’

  You can tell from her face she’s nonplussed. She doesn’t know what to think. Too late, I realize what a plausible liar Jem is.

  But then Dad says, ‘Who mentioned my flat?’

  Silence.

  Jem, realizing he’s given the game away, lets out a small bark of derision. ‘Is that what all this is about?’ he says. ‘Lighten up, man. We only stayed there a few nights.’

  ‘Just go,’ Dad says to him bleakly. ‘Before I call the police.’

  Jem’s expression changes. It’s crafty now, taunting.

  ‘You know what, man?’ Now it’s his turn to point the finger, only he does it in a crude, one-fingered salute. ‘You’ve got nothing on me. I didn’t break into your flat. Your precious daughter invited me in!’

  ‘Go now!’ yells Dad. ‘Before I change my mind. If I find you anywhere near my daughter again, I’ll break your bloody neck!’

  Jem backs away, cursing, then swaggers off down the road, yelling threats and expletives back at us.

  Zoe throws her arms around me and my sobs turn to wails.

  Someone else is crying too.

  Livi is standing at the gate, watching Jem disappear, and the tears are streaming down her cheeks.

  He always knew it would be her that came between them. Her and her big gob.

  Fat cow. He could’ve carried this off it hadn’t been for her.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Jem has disappeared from my life as if he’s never been there. At first he rings me twenty times a day and I tell him I never want to see him again.

  I am so ashamed.

  I remember when I told him Dad and Jude were going to New York. He was over the moon.

  ‘The answer to our prayers,’ he’d said. ‘We can be together all night long.’

  And, stupid me, against my better judgement I’d allowed myself to be persuaded. I’d moved into my father’s flat with him. I’d slept with him in my father’s bed. I’d trusted him, leaving him on his own there – and this is how he’d repaid me. Helping himself to whatever he found lying about.

  All I’d ever wanted from him was love. All he’d wanted from me was a free ride.

  ‘You used me!’ I say and he pleads with me, telling me it’s all a big mistake, but I know he’s lying. Then he turns nasty, saying horrible things about my family, especially Dad and Jude. (Since when did she become part of my family?) Most of it I’d said myself, but it sounds worse coming from him. He threatens to tell people I’ve been tagging with him all over town, but I tell him to get lost. He’s done his worst. I know he won’t do that anyway, he’s got too much to lose.

  I feel betrayed. Humiliated.

  Then the phone calls, the texts, the Facebook messages stop and finally everything goes quiet. At last I can forget him.

  But now, perversely, I can’t get him out of my mind.

  The truth is, I miss him.

  Dad seems to be round a lot. He managed to coax Jude back from her parents, but I don’t think she spends more time at the apartment than she has to. He says she doesn’t feel safe there any more. She won’t even look at the CCTV footage because she says everywhere she goes she’d be looking out for him if she knew what he looked like. You’d think she’d have a bit more bottle about her, with some of the clients she’s had to deal with. Dad says that’s the point, she’s had trouble with one or two in the past.

  ‘What sort of trouble?’ asks Livi.

  ‘Clients who think she’s let them down because she didn’t get them off.’

  ‘What do they do?’

  ‘Shout a bit when they get sent down. Make a few threats. It’s happened to me countless times.’

  ‘Scary!’

  ‘No, it’s all talk. They forget all about it once they’re banged up inside. Interestingly, the one guy that really freaked Jude out was someone whose case she won. He wouldn’t leave her alone after that, made out there was something special between them.’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘I can’t remember. It was a client from her last practice. She moved down here and he lost track of her, I guess.’

  She moved down here and met you, we’re all thinking.

  Mum sighs. ‘There are some strange people about, that’s for sure. Take Jem, for instance. I really liked him.’

  Here we go again!

  ‘Yes, well, I blame myself for that,’ says Dad.

  ‘Why?’ I say in surprise.

  ‘I should’ve been there for you.’

  ‘You were.’ He warned me enough about Jem. I just wouldn’t listen.

  ‘I welcomed him into my home!’ Mum says, looking stricken. ‘He was always so pleasant, so well mannered …’

  ‘Most psychopaths are!’ says Dad bitterly.

  ‘Jem’s not a psychopath!’

  ‘He stole my watch, my money and Jude’s jewellery, let alone her … more personal items. Believe me, that’s the hallmark of a nutter. I should know. I come across them every day!’

  ‘Well, he said he didn’t!’ protests Livi. ‘Why doesn’t anyone believe him?’

  ‘Because he’s a flaming liar!’

  I know Dad’s right. To a point. He didn’t take Jude’s ‘personal items’. Her pants and her top. That was me. But I’m too ashamed to admit it. The rest of the stuff though, he took that.

  But no one can convince Livi. It’s quite sweet really, the way she stands up for him, like a fox terrier defending a pit bull. As far as she’s concerned, Jem can do no wrong. He’s the injured party and there’s a simple explanation.

  ‘Jem’s getting blamed for something he didn’t do!’ she maintains mutinously. ‘Someone else could’ve broken into your ap
artment.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ says Dad.

  ‘Well, maybe Jem had a mate around when Anna was at college and he helped himself.’

  I sigh heavily. I’d thought of that too. But the truth was, Jem didn’t have any mates.

  ‘Leave it there, Livi.’

  ‘Why don’t you stand up for him?’ she spits. ‘You don’t care about him! Nobody does!’

  ‘I did care about him!’ I snap back. ‘I loved him! And look how he repaid me!’

  ‘The CCTV footage shows there was no one else going in and out of the apartment except for Anna and Jem,’ says Dad. ‘It had to be him.’

  ‘Or me!’ I say venomously and Livi shuts up at last. But I know we haven’t heard the last from her.

  Dad didn’t press charges. I know why. He didn’t want to drag my name into it. With Jem out of my life, he hoped we could put the whole sorry incident behind us and move on with our lives.

  But it’s not as easy as that.

  I try, I really do. I throw myself into college and spend all my time catching up. I can’t believe how much I’d let things slide. Zoe’s great. She’s totally there for me now Jem’s no longer on the scene. She helps me with my work, practically escorts me to and from college, and makes sure I hang out with her and the others in the common-room every lunchtime.

  In a way, it’s like Jem never existed. Secretly, I can’t believe how easily he’s given up on me. He said he loved me! I’d have thought he’d be more persistent than that. I’ve seen him when he can’t get what he wants and he never gives up. But now it’s like my dream guy turned into a nightmare, and then I woke up and discovered he never existed at all!

  Except I feel empty inside, like I’ve had something surgically removed. Jem has been aborted from my life and all that is left is a huge, gaping void of sadness and regret.

  I can’t sleep. Through the long, dark nights, I worry that I acted too hastily. Now I’m over the shock of what he did, I guess it wasn’t that bad, after all. Maybe we all over-reacted. I mean, what did he actually do? Borrow my father’s watch, drink his champagne (actually, I drank most of it!) and help himself to some money that was lying about, that’s all. He probably intended to put it all back, but he didn’t have time.

  Let’s face it, we’d left in a bit of a hurry that morning, which was the reason the flat was in such a mess. We didn’t mean that to happen. OK, there was the matter of Jude’s jewellery, but I can’t remember seeing any lying about. Maybe she made it up? People do after a break-in, so they can claim on insurance.

  And as for her clothing … well, that was me, not him, only I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I let him take the rap for it, which did him no favours whatsoever.

  Some girlfriend I turned out to be! He should’ve chosen Livi! She’s never doubted him. Unlike me.

  Loyal little Livi.

  Jem, you chose the wrong sister. Livi would have stood by you.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  And then, just as I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that Jem has vanished from my life for ever, he quietly lets me know he’s still around. When I get to the bus stop one morning with Livi, I notice the shelter is boasting a JAWS tag inside a red heart. It looks just like the chocolate heart he slipped into my bag all those months ago – and I’m so taken by surprise, I gasp.

  ‘What’s up?’ says Livi and I say, ‘Nothing,’ and she lapses back into the soulful silence that is becoming her default mood. Since Jem disappeared she’s retreated into a world of her own – when she’s not out with her giddy mates. I hope Ferret’s not back on the scene now Jem’s not here to set a good example. How ironic is that? That’s something that Dad didn’t see, the positive effect Jem had on my little sister. I think she misses him nearly as much as I do.

  The next day there’s a heart with a tag inside it on the pavement outside college. It’s surrounded by a crowd of admiring students, who recognize the signature.

  The day after that, one appears on the Art block.

  Soon I’m looking for them – and he doesn’t disappoint. One appears at the end of my street, another on our back door, a third on the wall of the corner shop. The message is loud and clear. Jem Smith is still around, Anna Williams, and he wants you to know he still loves you.

  It’s like my heart has lit up again. How did I think I could switch off what we had together? Every night, when I go to bed, I think of him out there, tagging. For me. Sometimes I think I’ll go mad, I miss him so much.

  One night I go to the cinema with Zoe. By the time I get home, the house is in darkness. Mum and Livi must be fast asleep. I sink down on to the sofa, lost in gloom. The film, about lost love, really got to me. Suddenly I can’t stand it any longer. I go on Facebook and lurk on Jem’s page. Then I hear a noise outside in the hall and quickly I minimize the site, get to my feet and peer cautiously around the door in the darkness. My sister is tip-toeing upstairs. She freezes in horror when she sees me.

  ‘Don’t do that! I thought you were Mum!’

  ‘Where’ve you been?’

  ‘Shhh!’ She glances upstairs apprehensively. ‘She’ll hear you!’

  The penny drops. ‘You’ve been with that loser, Ferret, haven’t you?’

  She licks her lips nervously then gives me a twisted, little smile. ‘So? What if I have?’

  ‘Livi! You are going to get yourself into trouble!’

  ‘What? Like you, you mean?’

  I glare at her, torn between the urge to slap her and wanting to sit her down and explain for the umpteenth time why she shouldn’t throw herself away on someone like Ferret. She doesn’t give me the chance to do either. She disappears upstairs and I wander into the kitchen crossly to make myself a coffee.

  I take it upstairs with me to bed and flick through a magazine while I drink it. I must have nodded off because I wake up with a start with the light still on. Then I remember I’d left the computer on Facebook and I nip downstairs to turn it off. I maximize the screen before I switch it off.

  Jem has sent me a message.

  I miss you, Anna.

  What is this, telepathy? One click and I see that he’s still online. My heart is racing; my fingers are even faster.

  I miss you too.

  Back comes the reply and then, before I know it, we are chatting.

  I didn’t steal anything from your father’s flat.

  No?

  You know I didn’t. I borrowed some cash, that’s all. I was going to put it back.

  What about the rest of the stuff?

  What, Jude’s knickers?

  Stop it!

  I’m sorry.

  What about my dad’s watch? And the jewellery?

  I didn’t take it.

  Where is it then?

  You’re not going to like this.

  What?

  I think it was an insurance job.

  My dad’s not a criminal.

  Neither am I.

  Leave it there, Anna. It’s too painful raking it all up again. But I stare at the screen. If Jem is telling the truth and he didn’t take those things … Well, I didn’t take them and Dad didn’t take them, that’s for sure. So that means there’s only one person left to blame for this whole sorry mess.

  Jude. She’s trying to fiddle the insurance.

  The thing is, who do I trust? Jude or Jem?

  My fingers type:

  I need to see you.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  We arrange to meet at Jem’s place the following evening. The next day he rings me in college at lunchtime.

  ‘I finish at six,’ he says.

  ‘I’ll be round about eight.’

  ‘Can’t wait!’

  It’s so good to hear his voice again that I can’t help smiling.

  ‘Who’s that?’ asks Zoe.

  ‘Nobody special.’

  ‘Yeah right! You’ve got that same look on your face you used to have when you spoke to Jem. Sort of loopy!’

  ‘Don
’t be daft!’ I say, but she grins and pats me on the knee.

  ‘Good to see you’re over Schizo Boy anyway.’

  ‘Jem’s not a schizo!’ I say automatically, but she’s turned away and is chatting to someone else. I take a deep breath and count to ten. When we prove all this has been Jude’s fault, she can take that back.

  That evening I’ve just gone upstairs to get ready to meet Jem when Dad appears. He’s never away from the place nowadays. I hear him talking to Mum and Livi in the lounge and go back down and pop my head round the door.

  ‘Back again?’ I enquire sweetly, but his face is serious.

  ‘I’ve got something I think you should hear.’

  ‘What is it?’ I perch on the edge of the sofa next to Mum. ‘Better be quick.’

  Dad puts his hands together and stares at the floor, his elbows on his knees. ‘There’s been a development,’ he says and he raises his eyes to mine.

  ‘What sort of development?’

  ‘Five thousand pounds has been stolen from an account.’

  I feel my heart plummet.

  ‘Whose account?’

  ‘Jude’s.’

  Jude’s? What’s going on here?

  ‘So?’

  I stare at him bewildered. Mum places her hand over mine.

  ‘Why has it only just come to light?’ she asks.

  Dad rubs his brow, then his chin. ‘Jude forgot about the account. It’s not one she uses very often. We checked all the cards at the time but she forgot about this one. But now her statement has come through and there’s five grand missing.’

  ‘Jem wouldn’t do that!’ cries Livi and I could kiss her. But Dad looks sceptical.

  ‘Look,’ I point out reasonably. ‘How could he? He’d need a password or a pin number, or something.’

  ‘He must have got hold of them somehow.’

  ‘No way!’ Livi explodes.

  ‘It must be Jude,’ I explain. ‘She must’ve forgotten she withdrew the money. I do it all the time. I’m for ever thinking I’ve got more than I’ve got in my account …’