Divine and Dateless

by Tara West

  “Why did you give me your credits?” I blurted.

  He fixed me with a no-bullshit stare, his bright blue eyes turning to ice. “Because you needed them.”

  Gah! So like the man to pretend to be an asshole when he was caught doing something nice. “Why did you tell me God sent me to thirteen?”

  He folded his arms across his chest. “Does it matter?”

  I knew what he was doing: putting up walls and securing his defenses. Probably had something to do with the fact that he’d been betrayed before. Well, I might have had a long list of faults, but I was not a cheater. If I gave this man my heart, which I was thinking more and more could possibly happen, I’d be his for all eternity, even if he was old enough to be my great-great-great-grandpa.

  “It does to me.” I took a chance and leaned into him, stroking my finger down one tanned arm.

  His whole body stiffened, his gaze turning to stone. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated to repay me,” he said through a stiff jaw.

  “What if I want to?” Cupping his face in my hands, I stood on tiptoe and kissed him. It was meant to be a chaste kiss, a thank you peck on the lips.

  But when my lips touched his, it was like setting a match to gasoline, and the whole thing combusted then and there.

  I was barely aware of our tongues colliding, his groans, my moans, him pulling me inside the apartment and slamming the door behind us. He stripped off my clothes while I tried to remove his. That T-shirt had to go, followed by that stupid, stupid belt. My hands shook as I nipped his neck and lips and swore with frustration. The damn thing was practically glued to his waist.

  He grabbed my hands and pushed them aside before ripping off his belt in one fluid motion. Then he feasted on my neck while cupping my ass. We had somehow stumbled into a darkened room and fallen on top of a bed. I straddled his waist and ground against his rock-hard erection. The damn denim was still in the way!

  He helped me out of my bra and panties and then yanked down his jeans and underwear before rolling me over, pinning me beneath him.

  Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around him, lifted my ass, and rubbed my slick desire across his silken shaft.

  “Make love to me,” I begged. “Please.”

  He grunted a response as he traced fevered kisses across my neck and collarbone, his hands roaming my breasts and pinching my nipples into tightened buds.

  “Please,” I begged again as I spread my legs even wider.

  He took my mouth in a fevered kiss, his tongue delving inside me before he pulled back. Taking my face in his hands, he traced feather-soft kisses across my nose and temple before his gaze sought mine. When I looked into the depths of his bright blue eyes, the emotion I saw in them took my breath away. He kissed me again, his lips brushing mine in a tender display of affection. When there was hardly more than a whisper between us, he slid inside me, seating himself to the hilt.

  I sucked in a silent scream. Damn, he was so big. So very big. He filled me completely and then some. I knew I’d be sore tomorrow, but at the moment, that didn’t matter.

  He captured my lips in another kiss, fucking my mouth with his tongue while stroking my weeping center with his thick cock.

  And the feeling was glorious. More heavenly than cheesecake, more real than sex with his pretend twin. I lifted my legs higher, wincing at the battering thrusts of his thick head against that oh-so-sweet spot, which seemed to swell like a balloon with each slick pounding. Not much longer, and I knew that balloon would burst, but instead of warning him, instead of stopping him, I dug my fingers into his tight ass and matched his thrusts, crying out each time our bodies joined at that heavenly pinnacle.

  I tensed beneath him when his swollen head finally popped that little bundle of nerves. I cried into his mouth as the orgasm took me, again and again like a spinning vortex, sweeping me up into euphoric fluxes. He pounded out a torturous rhythm, driving me mad with pleasure and sending one orgasm toppling over another like the violent currents in a storm. With each pulse, I could feel my sheath tightening around him, even as it released more fluid, until he was tunneling into me like a piston firing through an engine. My body was so attuned to his thrumming flesh, I felt his release before he groaned into my mouth. He stilled, and then pushed in deeper, his head throbbing against my core and causing another tsunami of orgasms to sweep over me.

  After our breathing had slowed and our heart rates returned to near normal, he continued to lavish me with tender kisses as he wrapped me in his embrace and pulled me on top of him. We stroked, petted, nipped, and kissed each other until my limbs and brain had turned to jelly, and I felt that need building deep inside me again. Soon, he was rolling me over and sliding into me, although this time he worked slowly, loving me thoroughly and well into the evening.

  When I’d first come to his apartment, I thought I needed a good fuck, but I had no idea the embers of our explosive passion would burn so hot for so long. This man wasn’t made for a casual romp between the sheets. This man was made for loving, slow and steady and all night long.

  Holy heck, I’d finally died and gone to Heaven.

  I woke up from possibly the best sleep ever and checked the clock on Grim’s dresser. It was almost midnight. After making love all evening, we’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms. Listening to the steady beat of his heart while snuggling in his warmth was exquisite, almost as good as sex.

  And as much as I wanted to stay in his embrace, I knew I had to go. A stab of guilt sliced through my chest when I thought about Jack all alone in my apartment. I’d left him there after lunch. I knew he was probably hungry and lonely.

  I carefully slipped out of Grim’s arms, instantly missing his warmth as I slid off the bed and padded across the carpet, picking up a pink heeled shoe, a torpedo tit slingshot, and then another shoe. I squinted as I sifted through more clothes, trying to find my panties beneath the pile, but only a sliver of light was coming from his cracked bathroom door, making it hard to see anything.

  I shielded my eyes when a light came on behind me.

  “Where are you going?” I turned to see Grim sitting up against an ornate mahogany headboard. The beads hanging from an ancient lamp beside his bed clanked together as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

  I quickly scanned the room, noting how most of the furniture in his place was antique, as in old, just like him. I tried to push that thought out of my mind, but it stuck there for some reason, taunting me like a melted wad of gum on the sole of my sneaker.

  “I need to let Jack out.” I bent over and retrieved my dress from behind the door. “He’s been all alone in my apartment.”

  What was wrong with me? Why was I being aloof? We’d just spent the most amazing intimate evening together, and now I had to play the part of the shy schoolgirl?

  “If you want, I can come with you.”

  “No, that’s okay.” I shrugged. “I probably need to spend some one-on-one time with him.” Total bullshit. Jack loved Grim, and I knew it. Why was I doing this? Why was I making this moment more awkward than it had to be?

  Much to my dismay, Grim was already out of bed and pulling on his jeans. I blinked hard as I got a good look at that glorious man part, which was rather erect at the moment, despite my evasive awkwardness. I looked away and hurriedly slipped into my bra and panties.

  “He’ll probably need to go for a walk,” Grim said as he stretched a T-shirt over that broad chest. “Where do you take him?”

  I gaped, trying to speak the words that seemed stuck at the edge of my tongue. “To the park a few blocks down.”

  He raked fingers through his thick mane of hair as he walked toward me. I was drawn to the gravitational pull of his maleness as he closed the distance between us, and I felt like melting into the heat he radiated. I didn’t understand how my desire to be near him was almost as strong as my need to get away. All I knew was I had to get out of there, so I could think. I couldn’t do much else but salivate whenever he was near.

 
“That’s got to be a hassle,” he said. “What if he needs to go in the middle of the night?”

  “Then I take him.” I stepped back as I tried to ignore the currents of lust pulsing through me. “It’s not so bad. At least I’m finally getting some exercise.” After I slipped my dress over my head, I was surprised to see him scowling at me.

  “What is it?”

  He shook his head, clucking his tongue. “Apartment life has got to be hard on a dog.”

  “I know it is.” I rolled my eyes. I didn’t need to be reminded of our inconvenient situation. “Unless you can help me find a chicken farm without a horny Hammerhead, we’re stuck here.”

  He shot me a knowing look, the same smug look that made me either want to slap him or kiss him senseless. “You’re stuck. He’s not.”

  “What do you mean?” My limbs iced over at the pity in his eyes. Somehow, I suspected I wasn’t going to like his answer.

  “I mean, he should have reincarnated, live his human life, not be trapped in an apartment in Purgatory as a dog.”

  Heat flamed my face as my ire robbed my brain of all sense of reason. I’d only had my dog a week and already he was trying to get rid of him?

  How dare he!

  “Obviously, he wants to be with me or he wouldn't have waited.”

  I didn’t know if Grim was trying to be a control freak like all my other boyfriends, but I had some sad news for him—I wasn’t getting rid of my dog, not for Grim, and not for any man.

  Before I said something we’d both regret, I headed to the front door, taking note of the hardwood floors and antique furniture. I spied a few modern conveniences, like his flat screen TV. I briefly wondered if he’d had problems figuring out the remote. That thought made me laugh. Weird how his age was a joke now, but it hadn’t been so funny while we were screwing like rabbits.

  “He’s been waiting for you to give him the go-ahead.” Grim dogged me like an unwanted shadow. “If you want, I can show you where to take him.”

  I spun on my heel and looked up at him through slits. “Seventeen years, he’s waited for me, and now you want me to get rid of him?”

  He held out both hands in an apologetic gesture. “I know it’s hard, Ash, but it’s selfish to keep him.”

  I jabbed a finger in his chest, pushing hard enough that pain shot up my hand. “You asshole! One night together and you’re already trying to control my life!”

  “Ash, calm down.” He stepped back, holding his hands higher as if my finger was a loaded gun. “I’m not trying to control you.”

  I jabbed him again. “You are! You’re jealous of my dog and you’re trying to get rid of him. I’ve missed him for so long. How could you do this to me? How could you?”

  He reached for me, but I shrieked, turned, and ran for the door. I threw it open and raced down the hall, not caring I’d left my shoes at Grim’s apartment. Those shoes were the least of my problems. I’d left things of far greater value with him, like my dignity, my trust, and my heart, all smothered to dust between the sheets of his bed.

  What was wrong with me? After waiting twenty-nine years to find the right guy, I’d fallen into the sack with the first sexy old geezer to come my way, all because he was a great kisser, looked good in tight jeans and pretended to be a nice guy when he wasn't acting like an asshole. I should have known better than to try to fall in love. I should have realized the only male I could ever rely on was my dog.

  I'm a selfish bitch, a selfish, selfish bitch.

  All this time I'd been gallivanting around Purgatory, dining with a Hammerhead, fucking an old Grim, playing fetch with my dead dog, and my poor mom had been grieving my death.

  After last weekend, when I'd watched my mom on Earth TV, I'd forced myself to stay away. Not because I was too busy or disinterested, but because I couldn't stand to watch when my mother found my body.

  I had no idea what compelled me to turn on the television that morning. Maybe it was morbid curiosity. Maybe it was guilt, but after avoiding that flat screen all week, I figured it was time. The funeral had to have been over. Maybe Mom had accepted my death and decided to go on with her life.

  What I didn't expect to find was her lying on top of my gravesite in a sobbing heap of wet clothes and smeared makeup on a rainy Seattle morning.

  "Oh, Mom." I cried, falling to my knees in front of the TV. "Please get up. Please go home."

  But she couldn't hear me as she continued to weep while crushing a bouquet of flowers in her grip. I mourned with my mom all morning long, wishing I could somehow speak to her and tell her not to cry, that I was working my way to Heaven with my best buddy by my side.

  After my fight last night with Grim, I thought I'd cried out all of my tears, but when I found my mom at that cemetery, I never wept so much in all my life.

  I touched the television, stroking the curve of her muddied cheek, wishing she could sense me and know I was okay. I looked at Jack, who was howling by my side. I hadn't noticed his mournful whimper had grown louder.

  "What is it, buddy?" I sniffled.

  He ran to the front door and barked.

  "I'm sorry, Jack. I'll take you out."

  Though I felt like I'd been struck by a Mack truck, I heaved myself off the floor, slipped on a pair of my grandma's old sneakers, and grabbed the leash off the wall. I didn't even care that my hair was an uncombed, frizzy mess, or that I was still in my pajamas. Might as well look how I felt. Considering I'd seen a guy with a parking meter sticking out of his chest yesterday, I didn't think people would care what I was wearing.

  As soon as I opened the door, I lost hold of the leash, and Jack took off.

  “Jack!” I called as I ran into the hallway.

  My traitorous dog didn’t get very far. He was busy lavishing kisses on Grim, who was kneeling beside my door, the heels I’d left at his apartment on the floor beside him.

  My heart pounded like a gong in my ears when he looked up at me. I was struck by the memory of the tenderness in his eyes last night when we were making love. Such a sweet, yet powerful expression, as if he’d been waiting his whole dead life for that moment.

  I leaned into him when he came over and tucked a stray piece of frizz behind my ear. “Came to check on you.” His voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. “Have you been crying?”

  As he continued to caress my face, my throat tightened with emotion. Unable to answer, I looked away, fearing the waterworks would start pouring any minute.

  I knew he'd come to apologize, but with so many conflicting emotions swirling through my head, I wasn't ready to deal with any more drama right now. Last night I'd alternated between crying over having lost Grim and fretting he might try to work things out. Honestly, though I was definitely attracted to Grim, I still wasn't sure it would work out between us. I knew I’d picked a bad time for the realization to hit. Things would have been a lot less complicated had I figured this out before I slept with him.

  “I can’t talk.” I tried to push past him, but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "Jack has to go for a walk,” I said through a huff.

  But when I whistled for him, my traitorous dog ran back inside. Ugh. So much for him being there in my time of need. As Grim looked at me with that wry smile, I swear he and my dog were in cahoots.

  “Jack. Where are you going?" I jangled the leash in my hand as I went back inside.

  Grim didn't wait for an invitation as he followed me and shut the door.

  I turned to Grim. "I don’t understand. He was crying at the door.” Could he have been crying because he’d known Grim was outside? Did he like Grim so much he'd beg me to invite him in? My mom had always told me Jack had good instincts. Maybe I should trust in my dog, since I obviously couldn't make up my mind to save my life.

  “Maybe he knew I’ve been standing outside for the past ten minutes trying to figure out the best way to apologize.”

  My jaw went slack. I had no idea why his apology bothered me, but it did. I cocked a hand on my hip and
glared. “Why do you do this to me?”

  “Do what?”

  “Act like a jerk and then turn around and show your sweet side. It’s really confusing.” I brushed past him and plopped on the sofa. Mom was still on my TV. Other than a few sniffles, her sobs had ebbed some, and she lay on top of my gravesite, nearly as still as the “Beloved daughter” headstone.

  Grim sat beside me, taking my hands in his. They were warm and calloused. Odd, because last night when he caressed me, they’d felt as soft as silk.

  “Ash, I’m sorry I upset you." His voice was gruffer than usual, his face reddening as he spoke. "I won’t ask you to get rid of Jack again. Okay? I promise.”

  Though I wanted to deny the truth, I knew in my heart he wanted what was best for Jack. But Jack had waited on me for a reason, and I wasn't ready to give up my best friend yet.

  “I don’t know." I shook my head. It was really hard focusing on my shaky relationship while watching my mom suffer. "I’m really confused.”

  "If time is what you need, I'll give it to you." Grim released my hands and slowly stood. "Just know I'm here for you."

  Again, I felt my throat tighten at the pain I saw in his eyes. Great. How had the best night of my life morphed into the worst morning ever? Though I was unsure of what would happen once the dust settled, one thing I knew was that I cared for Grim, and it hurt me to hurt him. Not to mention, Inés was going to kill me when she found out I'd broken his heart. I cringed as I thought of the many ways she'd get her revenge. Why did I think a blow-dryer would be involved?

  Jack's frantic barking drew my gaze to the TV. Mom was still soaking up rain water. One side of me hoped she wouldn't catch pneumonia and die, but the selfish (and much more dominant side) hoped she would. I knew a saint like her would shoot straight to the top.