Divine and Dateless

by Tara West

  “Oh, you mean Inés?” She couldn’t have been talking about Grim. Maybe if she’d substituted “grumpy” or “scowling” for “nice.” I briefly wondered if they’d even come across him, and if so, if he’d said anything about me. Anything at all.

  “Yeah.” Grandma nodded vigorously before turning to my uncle. “She gave us something for you.”

  Uncle Mikey stood and kissed me on the cheek before handing me a big purple box with a bright yellow bow on top.

  “What is it?” I asked as I shook it. Something heavy rattled inside.

  “She didn’t say,” Uncle Mikey said. “Open it.”

  I cringed and then handed the box back to my uncle. “I’m afraid to.”

  My uncle shoved the box back into my hands. “Just open it.”

  I carefully pulled back the lid, and then screamed and threw the box to the ground.

  A blow-dryer! She sent me a freaking blow-dryer!

  A little yellow slip of paper floated out of the box, landing on my foot. I picked it up with trembling hands and unfolded it, gulping back a knot of fear as I read the message scrawled in dainty pink ink. “I told you not to break his heart. Get ready for some whoop ass.”

  I knew I should have been upset. Inés was no small chica. I was certain she could have flattened me like a pancake with one pounding of her fist. So why did her threat make me giddy instead? Grim’s heart was broken, which meant he did care about me, maybe he even cared about me still. I still had a chance to win him back.

  I wasn’t quite sure how time-off worked at the SIA, but since Delta Squadron had just completed a ghosting last night, Sarge said we had the rest of the day off. I so badly wanted to use that time to go to Grim’s apartment, even if I risked the chance of getting my ass whooped, but my grandma and my uncle had other ideas, starting with bringing Jack to meet my grandpa. My grandma was insistent, since Grandpa had been fond of Jack back on level one.

  So that’s how I spent the rest of my day, wondering about Grim while my dog played fetch with my grandpa. I had to admit, the look on Grandpa’s face when we’d first showed up with Jack made it all worthwhile.

  Too bad Grandpa turned into a blubbering sob-monster when it was time to go, not that he’d miss us, but that I wouldn’t leave Jack with him in his crappy level ten trailer. As much as I hated to hurt my grandpa’s feelings, that place wasn’t even fit for a dog.

  It was late afternoon by the time we started the long trek back home. Of course, I had to listen to my uncle’s and grandma’s lectures about the dangers of ghosting all the way there. I kept checking the digital clock on the taxicab dash, fearing I was going to miss Grim if I didn’t get to his apartment soon. Plus, I didn’t know if Alpha House was going to give us the night off.

  By the time my family dropped me off, they hadn’t convinced me to quit ghosting, although they had persuaded me to invest in a good set of noise cancelling headphones.

  So far ghosting didn’t seem to be that bad. I’d discovered I had my very own supernatural power, which was pretty awesome. I could summon wind, and I didn’t need my mom’s three-bean chili to do it. My team members also had cool powers, and the more I got to know them, the more I liked them. Despite everyone’s odd idiosyncrasies, Delta House was starting to feel like home.

  Heck, even Sarge was growing on me. I couldn’t stay too bitter with the man for forcing me to exercise my ass off. Literally. The rashes between my legs where my flabby thighs had rubbed together all week were starting to heal, and my body was looking much tighter. Pretty soon I’d be able to fit in my old skinny dress again, and I didn’t even need Penthouse magic to do it.

  I had a hard time convincing my family to stay in the cab and go home, even though I could tell neither of them had finished nagging me. After they drove away, my grandma giving me a severe look of guilt, one that could only be perfected by years of practice, Jack and I raced upstairs, and I hopped in the shower.

  I didn’t see anyone when I got home, which I assumed meant we still had the day off. If not, well, Sarge’s wrath was worth the risk. All I needed was a few minutes to convince Grim to come back with me. We could talk things over in my room. I’d tell him all about my wind power and convince him I could keep myself safe. After that, I was totally open to him staying with me for a glorious night of makeup sex.

  I’d decided to take a cab to Grim’s place. I’d already asked my grandma’s cabbie to call one of his friends to come get me. Boner had told me transportation was free for ghosters, though I would have gladly paid. Apparently, my little performance last night had earned me a fifty credits, which Crow assured me was a week’s wages for most level thirteen dwellers.

  Just as I finished rinsing my hair, the alarm bells went off.

  Shit! This better be a drill.

  I snatched a towel off the rack and dried myself as best I could, but I had to run back into my room to get my sweats and gym shoes. I left Jack behind, tossing him a rawhide chew before slamming my bedroom door and racing downstairs. By the time I got there, everyone was already lined up.

  Shit!

  I sure hoped Sarge didn’t chew me a new asshole. But that was the worst of my problems. The freaking elevator door was open!

  Double shit. Triple shit. Steaming piles of waist-deep pig shit!

  Sarge was standing by the elevator, mumbling into the phone.

  Well there goes my evening. So much for getting my boyfriend back and a night of hot makeup sex.

  My limbs went numb when Sarge slammed the phone down and approached us. All color had drained from his sun kissed skin, and he had this look in his eyes as if he was marching toward his own funeral.

  “It’s a code red.”

  “Fuck.”

  I arched my neck and looked over at Basil. I’d never heard her swear before, let alone say anything that made a damn bit of sense, but her “fuck” was pretty loud and clear, as in “we’re all fucked.” Whatever code red meant, I knew Delta Squad was about to get into some heavy shit.

  Sarge walked down the line, leveling a somber expression at each of us. “There’s three Grims scoping out the place right now.”

  Wait, Grims were there? My ears perked up at that.

  Boner let out a deep exhale, as if he’d just taken a toke off a doobie. “Three Grims? This is heavy, Sarge.”

  “They don’t usually give us code reds. Why didn’t Alpha House take it?” Crow grumbled.

  “That’s what I’d like to know.” Sarge shook his head, but not before I caught his sideways glance. In that fraction of a second, I felt as if he believed I was somehow the reason. “Okay, here’s the deal. We’ve got a sorceress preparing to do a virgin sacrifice.”

  My jaw dropped. “Say what?”

  “We need to get in there and neutralize the situation.” The tension in Sarge’s voice was so palpable, I swore it bounced off the walls like an echo. “Basil, you do a banishment spell while Boner, Crow, and I hold her off. Then we get the hell out of Dodge. Understood?”

  Everyone voiced their “yes sirs” except me. I was too busy trying not to piss my pants.

  I raised a shaky hand. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

  Sarge marched up to me, his metal leg sending a chill down my spine as it grated across the floor. He leveled me with a look so ominous, I was tempted to run upstairs and hide beneath my covers. “MacLeod, you will do what I say when I say it, and you will stay by my side the entire time. Am I clear?”

  It took all my effort to keep my teeth from rattling. “Yeah. Don’t worry. As if I’d want to fight a sorceress on my own.” Until that very moment, I hadn’t even known they’d existed.

  Our elevator transported us to an old, musty barn, one that hadn’t been swept in ages and looked precariously close to crashing down on our heads with the slightest breeze.

  Sarge and Crow were at the opposite ends of the barn, looking out the windows. Sarge had said they were keeping an eye on a nearby farmhouse. The light from the full moon illumi
nated Crow’s long beak and massive black wings. Though he was about the same size as the human Crow I’d come to know, he’d been magically transformed into Birdzilla, and I doubted there were enough scarecrows on Earth that could have chased him away. Sarge frowned as he scanned the yard for movement, the lines on his forehead so pronounced, he appeared to have aged ten years in the span of an hour. I briefly wondered what Sarge’s power was, or if he had one at all. So far, his only magical ability had been to nearly charm the pants off me.

  Since Sarge had forced me to huddle in a corner, I couldn’t see shit, except for spider webs, rotting hay, and what looked to be the skeleton of a pig. Boner was sifting through the bones, comparing the pig’s skeleton to his and freaking out every time he came across a near match.

  Basil was picking fly carcasses out of a spider web, squinting as she examined their little corpses in a shaft of moonlight.

  Sarge had told us three Grims were scoping the place out, determining if it was safe for us to go in, because whenever there was sorcery involved, there were usually demons, too. I’d had no idea Grims and ghosting squads worked together on jobs. The thought of it sent a trill of excitement racing up my spine. What if my Grim was here today?

  What would I do if I saw him? Tell him I missed him and wanted him back? Tell him I was sorry for letting him walk out my door?

  I knew I should have been focusing on the task at hand, but I’d become somewhat obsessed over my old flame. I just hoped I survived tonight’s ordeal, so I could tell him how much he meant to me.

  Sarge ducked beneath the window when he got a call on his walkie-talkie. As he whispered into the receiver, I thought I heard the word “dragon” uttered a few times. Soon his mumbles grew into all-out swearing.

  I clenched a hand to my roiling stomach. Shit. I wasn’t ready to fight dragons. I didn’t want to lose my eyeballs. Bile projected into my throat at the thought.

  Sarge threw down his radio and jerked to a standing position. He kicked an old hay bale, sending a cloud of debris into the air. Then he stormed to the other side of the barn. I gawked at him, wondering what was going on. Sarge had sure picked a crappy time to throw a mantrum.

  Finally, he walked up to our group with purposeful strides. “We’re going home. The Grims are calling in Alpha House.”

  Boner threw down his pig bone and jumped up, his skeletal frame rattling with the movement. “What? Why?”

  Sarge’s rigid shoulders began to droop as if they were collapsing under the weight of stress. “This job’s too big for us. There’s demons. Nasty ones.”

  “Thirteen years.” Basil stomped a foot as she threw a handful of flies against the wall. “Thirteen damn years.”

  “Shadow probably knew all along.” Crow squawked as he flew toward us from the window, beating the dirt and hay in my eyes with his powerful wings. “He just wanted to screw up our record.”

  “We had a good run,” Sarge said in a voice that lacked conviction.

  Just then the dusty air was punctured by a child’s blood curdling scream.

  Ice cold crystals of fear solidified my veins, slowing the pumping of my heart until the only thing I heard was the strained sound of my breathing. I looked wide-eyed at the group. “Did you hear that?”

  Sarge nodded before swearing in Spanish. “I heard it.”

  Boner’s teeth rattled, which must have set off a domino effect, because soon all his bones were shaking. “I wonder if a demon’s got her.”

  “Not yet. The sorceress is preparing the sacrifice.” Basil’s voice was a hollow monotone. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple as if she had a migraine.

  Crow ruffled his feathers, directing his inky gaze at Sarge. “When’s Alpha House getting here?”

  Sarge edged toward the window and looked outside. “Probably in five.”

  “The child will die before then,” Basil said.

  “What?” My hand flew to my throat. “Why can’t the Grims help her?”

  “They cannot intercede in the affairs of the living.” Crow squawked as his avian eyes narrowed. “Only ghosters can.”

  I jumped up from my corner, dusting dirt off my pants. “We have to save her.”

  Sarge turned from the window and was upon me in a few long strides. “You stay your ass here, and that’s an order. There’s nothing we can do for her, MacLeod.”

  “Bullshit!” I yelled, hearing another blood curdling scream.

  When Sarge lurched for me, I knocked him back with my wind, cringing when I thought I heard his skull cracking against the wall.

  I had no time to see if he was okay. The other ghosters could take care of him. Without another thought, I took off running, but not into the safety of the elevator. My stupid feet propelled me toward the screams.

  I instinctively raised a shaky hand, blasting the barn doors off their hinges. I knew the best possible outcome was that I’d probably be fired from the squad. And the worst possible outcome? Well, I figured I’d be demon bait, but I couldn’t sit back and let that child die and allow another mother’s heart to break.

  After I blasted open the front door, I took the stairs to the second floor of the old farmhouse two at a time, my heart beating wildly as I raced down the darkened hallway to the sound of screams. I stopped just short of the last door, trying to catch my breath as I struggled to come up with a plan, but I’d never been very good at thinking ahead. Usually, I acted on impulse and dealt with the consequences later. Somehow, I didn’t think that strategy would work well in this situation.

  A strange orange light pulsated from beneath the door, and the sound of a woman’s low, melodic hum could be heard from the other side.

  “Lucia, please don’t!” A child cried.

  Aww, shit.

  I hit the door with such a powerful blast of air, it flew across the room with tornado speed, splintering as it struck a woman and sent her flying against the wall. She landed on the floor in a heap, her head lolling to one side as the hood of her blood-red robe fell back, revealing a cascade of inky black hair and a dragon tattoo on the side of her neck.

  The blast had snuffed most of the dozens of candles that skirted the outer perimeter of the room, leaving just enough light for me to see the sobbing flame-haired girl tied to a wooden table in the center of the room.

  I cautiously walked toward the girl, not wanting to frighten her. I could feel my aura pulsing around me like a strobe light. I raised a shaky finger, channeling my energy into the leather straps that bound her to the table, and winced as they snapped open before falling to the ground.

  The girl, who looked no older than ten, sat up, rubbing the angry red welts on her wrists. She turned and looked right at me.

  “Get in the circle before they get you!”

  I arched a brow. “Huh?”

  A loud crack rent the air and stinging pain lashed my backside. I yelped as I jumped forward. Rubbing my sore ass, I turned around and nearly fainted from fright. A creature with hooved feet protruding from beneath a black trench coat flashed two sharp fangs before striking the shattered door with a deafening crack of his glowing whip. In the blink of an eye, the door fused together and flew back on its hinges, slamming shut with a powerful thud.

  He waved a hand around the room. The candles lit, illuminating the shadows and revealing two other snarling creatures.

  “Holy fuck.” I gasped. “Three demons.”

  “I didn’t know angels swore,” the little girl said. I thought it odd she didn’t seem to be frightened.

  She probably took my aura, pulsating on high alert, to be some sort of divine glow.

  “Sorry, kid. I’m not an angel.” I rolled my eyes. “Not yet, anyway.”

  And maybe not ever at the rate things are going.

  I nodded toward the snarling monsters, who were circling the perimeter of the room, saliva dripping off their tongues as if they’d been stranded on a desert island and I was a quarter-pound bacon burger with extra mayo. “What are those things?”

&nb
sp; “You’ve never seen a demon?” She said this casually, as if she was asking me to choose between chocolate or vanilla ice cream. What kind of a fucked-up life had this kid been living?

  I emphatically shook my head. “No.”

  I kept my gaze fixed on the biggest of the three, the one with flames for hands, smoke pouring out of his snout, and a spiny ridge of scaly skin going down his back. I got the feeling this was the dragon Sarge had warned me about. Damn. I really preferred my eyes to stay in their sockets.

  “They can’t get to us yet,” she said. “Not until my stepmom breaks the salt circle.” She nodded toward the circle of white crystals that encompassed us.

  My gaze flicked to the robed woman who was still lying on the floor in a motionless heap. “I hope she stays unconscious for a while then.”

  My heart just about fell through my stomach when the sorceress moaned and moved her head.

  I threw a glance behind me. The girl was sitting up, her legs dangling over the table and looking like she didn’t have a care in the world.

  “What will they do to us if she breaks the circle?” I asked.

  The girl didn’t miss a beat. “Take our souls to Hell.”

  “I’ve heard of bitch stepmoms before,” I grumbled, “but this one takes the cake.”

  “Hey, there,” I yelled at the demons. “Any chance you guys could back off?”

  They answered with more snarls. One monster whose head resembled a piranha, revealed a mouthful of hundreds of razor sharp teeth, dripping with ooze I prayed wasn’t venom.

  I took a shaky step back. “Okay, then.” Now would have been a good time for Sarge and the crew to come busting through the door to save me. Or maybe one of the three Grims Sarge told me about could start lopping off heads with his scythe.

  As if Hoof Creature had been reading my mind, he snapped his whip toward the door. As soon as it hit the dull wood plank, it started oozing this glowing green sludge. The sludge spread rapidly, like a virus, encapsulating the whole door and the adjoining frame.