(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5)

by Michelle Mankin

  My eyes were hot on her as she moved alongside us. I thought about a hundred different things I wanted to do to her, but I couldn’t tell her with my dad leaning heavily on the wheelchair arms, using it like a wheeled walker.

  There would be time for the two of us later. For now, I shuffled along with my dad and her. He smiled at her as she chirped about the beach, the weather, and the surf, and before any of us realized it, we were inside the house.

  But whose house was it?

  There was a new bamboo table in the entryway, and a clear vase with a huge waxy palm frond that had never been there before.

  “Keys go here.” She stretched out her hand to Koa.

  He gave her his car keys, his fingers lingering too long on hers. I needed to set him straight about her like yesterday, but I needed to get things straight with her and me first.

  “I like that there.” My dad’s gaze was on the entryway piece, and the colorful tile and bamboo artwork above it. “When did you get it?”

  “Thank you,” Hollie said as she hung the van keys from a hook that protruded from the art. “I got it at the shop today where I found this dress.”

  “It seems like it was always meant to be there. Brightens up the place like you do.”

  She and my dad exchanged a long look.

  “I found a couple more things.” She smiled blindingly at him and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I might’ve gotten a little carried away.”

  She walked ahead of us while sweeping her arm to the left and right, and I got a better idea what kind of workout she’d done.

  A redecorating one.

  There were new throw pillows in bold turquoise and bright orange on the faded couch. Green botanical print placemats on the kitchen table. A big framed print over the sink in the kitchen that read ONLY GOOD VIBES ALLOWED.

  Hollie was certainly the embodiment of that positive energy we bragged about having on the island. She drew people to want to get to know her, to confide in her, to be her friend. That energy might have been dampened by circumstances before she’d come out to the island, but it had rekindled while she’d been here, and it was on full-power radiant now.

  I was so distracted by her and all the improvements, my dad too, that we both blinked wide-eyed at Koa when he spoke.

  “She’s something, isn’t she?” The young surfer lifted his chin at Hollie.

  She’d stepped out onto the porch. As my father and I followed, I noticed that the inside of the house wasn’t all she’d done. There was a rattan seating group with chocolate-brown cushions and turquoise throw pillows down by her favorite shade tree, plus an outdoor dining set with a huge burnt-orange umbrella shading it.

  A few things, my ass.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  * * *

  Hollie

  A steady breeze blew my hair back from my face while I sat on the sand with Tam, watching Koa and Diesel carve up waves. The broken surf of the early morning was now uninterrupted curl after curl.

  The two men were taking advantage of the improved conditions, more showing off than lesson giving and advice taking, that I could tell. But however it went, I was glad to see them together, fledgling friends, an on-the-rise surfer—I’d looked Koa up—alongside an ex pro, Diesel “The Danger” Le.

  I’d perused the internet while the delivery team had moved the furniture to the beach, and was thrilled to find some old videos of Diesel’s past competitions. He’d made a name for himself with his full-air rotations, but it had been his ability to tackle the big waves and finesse the smaller ones that had impressed critics of the sport. He would have had a long, lucrative career if not for losing his son and the deterioration of his marriage shortly afterward.

  I scooted forward in my chair as the man who captivated me began to paddle fast. Over the top of a gathering swell he went, popping up into his stance and sliding down the rising wall of gleaming glass. In the trough, he stretched out his arm, dipping his fingertips into the wall of water as he glided alongside it.

  Diesel was glorious, his expression reflecting his joy as the wave rose even higher and curled over his head. It was a powerful one to tower above someone as tall as he was. My gaze trained on him, I held my breath as he disappeared beneath the curtain.

  “My son is as graceful as the ocean itself.”

  “He is.” I nodded and exhaled my held breath like the wave did, but without the salty spray. I turned toward Tam. “Can I have a peek at your drawing now?”

  “Sure. I still need to add some more details, but the important part is finished.” He passed his sketch pad to me, and I saw that Diesel was centrally featured on the page.

  “It’s incredible.”

  “It’s okay for an old guy who’s not much use to anyone anymore except to be a burden.”

  “You’re not that old, and you mean the world to your son. And this isn’t just okay. It’s art.”

  “It’s just the amateur musings of my idle hands and fanciful heart.”

  I dropped my chin to more fully examine his drawing. My fingertips hovered over the sketched lines of Diesel’s handsome face and the emotion on it. The breaks in the surface of the sea and the curvature of his son’s muscles made the drawing leap off the page.

  “I disagree. It is art. Art is something that makes you feel. This makes me feel when I look at it. I feel your love for your son, for the sport, for the ocean. And his love for all those same things.”

  I passed Tam’s drawing back to him, feeling his gaze on me.

  “My son’s happy with you. Happier than I’ve ever seen him. I’d like to do another sketch with the two of you in the surf. A gift from me to thank you for yours. Why don’t you go out there with him?”

  “In a while, maybe.” My stomach tensed. I was still afraid of the ocean and wouldn’t contemplate going out into the water without Diesel close by. My fingers curled with my tension.

  “You lost someone to the sea like we lost my grandson.” Tam stretched out his hand, covering my clasped fingers with his. He squeezed, his understanding and empathy a welcome balm.

  “I lost my mom and my boyfriend.”

  “You fear the ocean, the way my son once hated it.”

  “Diesel hated the ocean?” Incredulousness rang in my tone. I couldn’t fathom it.

  “There are stages to grief. I’m sure you know how it’s common to look for somewhere to place the blame.”

  My throat closed tighter than my clasped fingers, but I nodded, recognizing that I blamed myself for not being who Max had needed me to be.

  “For a long time, he wouldn’t go near it, especially here on this beach.” Tam’s brow creased. “The offer to play bass with the Dirt Dogs took him away. When he came back and still wouldn’t consider surfing, I spoke to him about his grief.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “That the biggest enemy wasn’t the ocean but himself. That he has saltwater in his soul, and from his soul he couldn’t hide, no matter where he went. That being angry at the sea wouldn’t bring Kellan back.”

  “What did Diesel do?”

  “He started surfing again.”

  “He’s very strong.”

  “There are different kinds of strength. Strength you can have alone, and ’ohana strength you find in togetherness.”

  “I don’t have any.” I was trying to accept that I functioned best leaning on the support of others.

  “Everyone has their own strength.” Tam squinted at me. “Making mistakes, falling down doesn’t mean you’re weak. Not if you don’t stay down.”

  “I know that, it’s just—”

  “It’s not the number of times you fall, sweet girl, but the number of times you rise back up to try again. I think you have the heart of a surfer. Life has knocked you off your board many times and you’ve gotten yourself up again. I think you came here because you were tired and needed to regroup. I think you lack only faith in yourself, not strength.”

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  * * *
>
  Diesel

  “Is my dad bothering you with his surfing philosophy and metaphors?” I trotted up to Hollie and my dad, dripping half the ocean and carrying my board under my arm. But I don’t think either noticed me, they were so engrossed in each other.

  “Your father’s very wise.” She turned to regard me, her gray eyes seeming to sparkle with newfound knowledge.

  I recognized the signs. My dad had a similar effect on me.

  What I hadn’t seen in a long time was him so engaged. And Hollie was the same with him. She might not realize it, but she was affirming his value by seeking out his company and listening to his advice. Dad needed to be needed. They were good for each other. And she was good for me.

  But could I be good for her?

  I was certain that I wanted to try, but I didn’t have a stellar track record. In fact, I had none. Lalana and a string of countless women after her didn’t amount to anything.

  “I think I may have said too much.” Tam’s brows drew together.

  “You told me exactly what I needed to hear.” Hollie smiled warmly at my father.

  His brow smoothing, he beamed back at her.

  “He’s smart, and he has a knack for drawing parallels with surfing and the culture here,” I said. “He took in everything my grandfather knew, plus he took every class they offered at the college on Polynesian beliefs.”

  “I think my son is nearly as smart as I am, and almost as good looking.” Tam removed his hand from Hollie’s. “You should go surf with him.”

  “I’m fine here with you,” she said.

  “You are well on your way to being better than fine. I believe in you, and so does my son. We have an ’ohana of three.”

  “Thank you, Tam.” Hollie smiled brighter than the sun. “That means a lot to me. I don’t have any family besides Fanny anymore.”

  “Well, you do now,” I said firmly, echoing my dad’s sentiment. “You have us.”

  She nodded, her eyes glistening. “Are you coming to shore for more food?” Her voice was thick with emotion. She tried to tease to downplay it, gesturing to the covered platters of fruit and sandwiches on the glass-topped dining table beside her.

  “I came for you.” My expression betrayed the deeper meaning of those words.

  In truth, I was claiming her. I’d probably had that in mind when I extended the invitation for her to come to Hilo.

  My father saw it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nod approvingly.

  Hollie shrugged. “I thought I might leave the surfing to you and Koa today.”

  She seemed not to pick up on anything beyond the superficial. I had a lot of work ahead with her and not a lot of time left.

  “Koa’s working on what I taught him. You and I will work closer in.” Both with surfing and our relationship, it was going to take precision work before I could get us to the deeper level I wanted.

  “Okay.” She stood, turned to kiss my dad on the head, then turned back to me. She didn’t look too happy about the prospect of another lesson, but my dad looked happier than he’d been in a long time.

  I grabbed her hand on the way down the slope of sand, and she didn’t pull away. I wanted to kiss her on the mouth badly. But I wasn’t sure what she wanted my dad to know about us. We had that and a lot of things to discuss privately. For now, I brought her hand to my mouth.

  “What was that for?” she asked, sounding breathless just from my lips on her skin.

  “For being you. For making my dad happy. For making me happy,” I said, putting it out there.

  Hollie’s smile brightened. “I think it’s truly a reciprocal thing.”

  “My dad would say we’re in balance, an ebb and flow like the sea.”

  “Yoga teaches that the energy you put out there is the energy you receive in return.” Her plump bottom lip went between her teeth. “Actually, I should be reminding myself that in my own meditation time. I’ve let my circumstances toss me around lately instead of grounding myself.”

  “I have mats in the garage that I use for sit-ups. They’d probably work for yoga better than the beach towels you’ve been using.”

  “I’ll borrow one, if that’s okay.”

  “Anything you need. I thought I already made that clear.”

  You did, only—”

  “Did I give you grief about all the new shit that suddenly popped up for the house or the rental car that’s in my driveway?”

  “Uh, no.” Her eyes wide, she swallowed hard. “Are you mad?”

  “A little irritated.” I leaned in. “I might have to smack your naked ass later.” I glanced over my shoulder, noticing the beach bed under the sea grape trees. “I’ve got plans for me and you, a lot of plans.”

  When I looked back, her cheeks were prettily flushed and her lips temptingly parted.

  Fuck it.

  I dropped my board and grabbed her. One hand went low on her ass, the other under her ponytail to position her head.

  Then I kissed her.

  Hard.

  Mine, that kiss said to her and everyone else who was watching, including my protégé on his board.

  Hollie stiffened in surprise for a moment, then her arms came up and wrapped around my neck, and she kissed me back. When her fingers threaded in my hair and her lips parted for my tongue, I deepened the kiss, tasting and taking all she had to give me.

  Her eyes glazed, she broke the seal between our mouths, ending it all too soon. “If we don’t stop now, I’m not going to be able to stop. And I don’t want to behave disrespectfully in front of your father. I like him.”

  “He likes you very much, and I think he already knows what’s up between me and you.”

  “Oh.” She cocked her head. “What is, exactly?”

  Fuck. Looked like the talk I’d thought we’d have later was happening right now.

  “You’re mine.”

  “I’m my own.” Hollie tried to pull away.

  I yanked her more fully into me, reeling her back by her ass and then framing her face in my hands. She had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, and neither did I.

  “Don’t tell me we define it.” Her eyes flashed like quicksilver. “That doesn’t work anymore. Not after you just kissed me like that in front of everyone.”

  “No more being secretive. It’s you with me, and I don’t care who knows it.” I searched her gaze before I spoke my next words carefully. “I just don’t want you to run away.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  I gave her a pointed look. “It’s what you do when things get intense. You ran here. I think we both know you ran to the right place. But I don’t want you to run away before we have a chance to figure things out between us.”

  Something flitted across her features. Something I couldn’t identify that dampened her inner light and made me suddenly feel cold, even in the bright sunlight.

  “It’s been great being here.” She licked her lips. “I love spending time with you and your dad. I’ll never forget any of it, but nothing can change the fact that—”

  “Did that feel like nothing just now, the taste of me on your lips?” I frowned at her.

  “No.” She shook her head.

  “My tongue in your mouth feel like something you want to dismiss?” I pressed my hips into hers where my cock throbbed to be inside her again.

  “Don’t.” She pleaded with her eyes. “You know I want you, but don’t do this in front of your father. He’s so nice. I’ve never had that, and I just . . . I don’t want him to think badly of me. Let’s talk privately after he’s gone. Okay? Please?”

  I shouldn’t have agreed. I sure as hell didn’t want to since I had a bad feeling about not pushing her right the hell now. Hollie had tears and shadows in her eyes, so I gave her just a little extra slack to maneuver.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  * * *

  Hollie

  I didn’t know why Diesel gave me a reprieve until later. It was out of character for him not to push for what he want
ed.

  “C’mon.” He gestured to the water. “Let’s get you back on my board.”

  He meant surfing, but the way he said the words made it seem like they meant more. Like my being on his board was part of some kind of mystical formula for us.

  “All right. But I’m never going to be as good as you.” I gave him a wobbly smile, hoping it would suffice for enthusiasm.

  “That’s not the point, is it?”

  “To overcome my fear of the water.” I took a guess where he was leading the conversation.

  “Sure. That’s a big part for you, specifically. But on a wider scale, it’s an opportunity to try something new. To step outside your comfort zone. To challenge yourself. And maybe most importantly,” his voice lowered, “to experience something new with someone who cares about you.” The sheen in his gaze intensified. “I rarely give lessons. I don’t surf with just anyone. And no one has ever been on my board except me, and now you.”

  “I wish . . .” God, there was so much I wanted. Too much. I wished I could stretch out this time with Diesel and extend it forever.

  Regrouping, getting my head screwed on straight, those were all I was allowed to have until I confessed.

  “I care about you too,” I said softly while laying my hand over my abdomen, knowing until then I had to accept living for just two. I didn’t dare dream for more.

  His lips flattened. I’d given him less than he wanted, less than I wanted. But I’d given him a significant part of me. The most I could for now.

  I watched him bend to scoop his surfboard off the sand, loving the sight of how his muscles flexed. How his skin shone like polished copper in the sunlight. How his ebony curls gleamed. My body ached for more of his touch and his kisses.

  And more of his heart.

  I’d borrowed parts of him for a while, but those parts weren’t mine to keep.