All You Could Ask For

by Angeline Fortin

  “I’m pleased you will finally be freed from that bastard,” he said sincerely. “I don’t see how you will get him to sign the final papers though. He will have to actually sign them to see the thing done, you know.”

  “Da is working on that.” She waved her hand dismissively, with complete faith that her father would find a way. Given what Jack had heard of Lelan Preston, he didn’t believe her trust was misplaced.

  “I fail to see how your triumph will make anything easier on me though.” Unless she was about to propose to him, there wasn’t much mystery left for him. With his motives exposed, she would never consent to marry him now.

  “I’m about to tell you what you can do. Until my marriage is over, I want you to accept monies from Eve to get you out of the worst of your debt.” She held up a hand as he started to interrupt. “I would just do it myself, but I fear a transaction from my accounts would mark a path for Freddie that would lead straight to this door.”

  “I can’t—” he began, but this time Kitty cut him off.

  “Your debts are not your fault, but your pride is. You have friends who have offered again and again to lend you enough to expunge every debt you have, but you have stubbornly denied them. Why? Pride?” she taunted him lightly. “I know you feel like you might bankrupt them in the process. Still, you say no, even to a little to stave off the worst of it, or enough to grow some investments to see the balance taken care of. Perhaps your worries are that the total amount of your debt will overwhelm, for example, Francis’ fortune, though I gather he is well enough off. But—and I want you to trust me on this—there is no amount you might possibly owe that would diminish what Eve has.”

  Jack considered this for several moments, wrestling into submission his impulsive need to immediately reject her offer so his logical mind might analyze what she was saying. It was true, Francis had offered to pay off his debt repeatedly, but other than the humiliation of seeing his friend on a daily basis and knowing he owed that man everything, there was indeed the fact that he feared that the loss of so much ready cash would damage Glenrothes’ own life and estates. After all, he had nine siblings he was responsible for. There had been no one else who had a fortune capable of sustaining such an open-ended loan, but to consider taking a loan from Evelyn? He couldn’t help but shudder at the thought.

  “I could not.”

  “Swallow your damned pride, Jack,” she insisted with some irritation. “There is no place for it in a situation as dire as yours.”

  “It’s not so ba—”

  “Abby tells us everything, remember?” she interrupted, and smiled as he cursed his sister soundly.

  “I believe I need to stop confiding in my sister.” He shook his head, defeated. “And if I do this thing, then what? I cannot live my life owing your sister.”

  Kitty shook her head, sympathizing with what such a debt would mean to him. Even if pride allowed him to take on such a debt, he would never be able to live his life with it staring him in the face on a daily basis.

  “Of course not. That is why, when my divorce is granted and my husband cannot take what is in my name alone or find me because of it, I will give you—free and clear—enough to pay Eve back and to start your life again without the burdens your father and brother left you.”

  “You would just give me the money?” he repeated, as his mind warred between temptation and revulsion at being the object of such charity.

  There was his pride raising its head again! Pushing it aside, the picture she painted was heavenly after the weighty events of the last year. Freedom from the irony of his ‘inheritance’, a term that normally meant ‘getting’, not the constant giving he had faced since then. Not taking the modest fortune he had built through his own investments over the past ten years and applying it to pay off the perfidy of the previous earls of Haddington. What would it be like to be free of his nightmare? To move forward without continually being hounded by the past? To owe no one anything?

  But he would owe her, he realized. He would owe Kitty for the rest of his life. The reason he’d never taken a loan for the lump sum of his debt was because he had always known his properties would never produce enough income to pay such loans back while keeping his books in the black. It would take even more to expand with investments enough to turn an annual profit. She offered enough to accomplish that and asked for nothing. Which was just as well, since he had nothing to offer in return. Except…

  “If I do this, I will marry you,” he announced, just as Kitty sneezed.

  * * *

  Shocked into silence for a brief moment, Kitty stared at him. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right.”

  “I said I’ll…”

  She sneezed again, unable to stop it.

  “…marry you,” he finished.

  The hilarity of his statement hit her, and she burst out laughing even as she pulled her handkerchief out once more. “Oh, Jack!” She giggled, “I don’t want to marry you.”

  “You don’t?” he asked, momentarily stupefied.

  Since he was twenty-something years old, there hadn’t been a single, unwed miss or, hell, even widow, that had not contrived to get him to the altar. She’d laughed the first day they met that he had an overblown ego, but, in truth, how could he not?

  Other than the few unmarried MacKintosh brothers remaining, Haddington was one of the most eligible bachelors in Edinburgh. While he had no money, many did not know it, and since he had gained the title, women had been throwing themselves at him constantly in the hopes of becoming a countess. As he had said, he was single, handsome and titled. He was every classroom chit’s highest hope for a spouse. Yet this lass, this American, only laughed at his proposal, such as it was.

  “You don’t want to marry me?” he asked slowly, just to make sure he had the right of it.

  “No.” She shook her head in amusement, since her announcement seemed to be so unbelievable to him. “You’d make a horrid husband.”

  “You would be a countess.”

  “And, truly, my mother would swoon with delight over that.”

  “But not you?”

  “No, not really.” She shook her head with a loud sniffle. “I’m an American girl deep down, Jack. Your title doesn’t mean very much to me. I mean I like you a great deal, but I have no desire to commit to another marriage before the one I have is even over.”

  “What do you want then?” He refused to feel relief at her rejection and knowing that there had to be something she wanted of him. “I cannot believe that you would do such a thing purely out of the goodness of your heart.”

  “I want your friendship.”

  “Nay, seriously.”

  “My, what a cynic you are,” she declared with offense. “I’ll tell you why I’d do it, just so there is no mistake between us.”

  “Go on.”

  “I’d do it because I like you. I’d do it because you are the brother of one of my dearest friends, because I hate to see a man so bogged down in responsibility for something that isn’t even his problem to begin with. I’d do it because you make me laugh, and I appreciate laughter and friendship more than almost anything right now. And”—she grinned at him with smug satisfaction—“I’d do it because I can give you what you need and never realize that it’s missing.”

  “You don’t even know how much I need,” he pointed out, while pushing aside the warmth her other words had brought to him. Was he to become a sappy sentimental like Francis and Richard? Heaven forbid!

  “Doesn’t matter how much it is,” she assured him with a twitch of her lips.

  “How can you say such a thing?” he wondered at her certainty. “You have a child’s future to provide for, you know?”

  Kitty smiled a secret little smile and merely shook her head. “There is one thing you can do in return though.”

  “Ha,” he barked with satisfaction. Haddington had never known a person to be willing to give something for nothing, aside from Glenrothes. He considered it beyond
the boundaries of human nature. “I knew there had to be something. What is it?”

  “When this is all over and your fortunes are recovered.” She took a deep breath, unable to comprehend the words she knew that were about to come out of her mouth, “I want you to be my lover.”

  Jack’s jaw sagged and eyes popped at her words. “That is how I am to repay you?”

  She laughed again, hearing his disbelief in his appalled words. “No, Jack, not as repayment. I would never force you to…to…service me!” She flushed a deep red but still laughed heartily as his expression only darkened, for that was clearly what he had been thinking. “I thought you said you wanted to be my lover?”

  “I do,” was his unequivocal assurance. “Perhaps I’m being obtuse, but I don’t understand exactly what you are saying.”

  “I’m saying that I want to be your lover as well,” she said simply. “The idea of it is very appealing and I think we would enjoy each other immensely. I didn’t mean to imply I wanted you in return for the monies at all, but we really must wait until my divorce is finalized.”

  “You want to be my lover,” he parroted, unable to believe his own ears.

  “My, Jack, I never thought you were this thick.” This was followed by another sneeze that squeezed Kitty’s head with its intensity. “You have already been seducing me, I know you have. Your words just moments ago, why they could seduce a nun into submission. Your efforts have been most effective. I merely want to see that seduction through to its natural conclusion.”

  Her words should have pleased him, but he merely scowled at her. “If you want to be my lover as you say, then why have you been avoiding me?”

  Her brow wrinkled in confusion. “I haven’t been.”

  “You didn’t come down for dinner last night,” he pointed out. “Nor did you come out yesterday, or to ride this morning. Because of our argument at the opera house? Because I kissed you? Why?”

  “I haven’t been avoiding you, you fool, I’m sick. Do you understand? I’m ill.” To prove the point, she sneezed painfully again and moaned.

  “Really?”

  “Really.” She nodded, blowing her nose.

  “I thought…”

  Kitty looked at him through watery eyes. “You thought what?”

  Jack noticed then that her nose was red and chapped; he was surprised he hadn’t noticed it before. Her skin was flushed as well, making him wonder if she were feverish. Another sneeze overwhelmed her. “I…Good God, lass, you should be in bed.”

  “Really?” she asked sarcastically, rubbing her nose with the handkerchief dramatically. “Because, you know, I was comfortably abed, but someone was refusing to leave the front steps until I came down.”

  He leaned across the space between them and reached out to gently push a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. To his pleasure, and despite her clear surprise, she didn’t flinch but merely looked at him with wondering eyes.

  “I’m sorry, lass,” he whispered, “for having disturbed your rest. My only excuse is that, once my anger faded, I couldn’t bear any longer the thought of you being cross with me.”

  Kitty could not respond but only stare into his fascinating amber eyes.

  “Why were you so angry?” His hand lingered to caress her cheek tenderly. “I have wondered for two days what I might have done to offend you so, that you were so irate with me that night. Was it our ‘talk’?”

  She shook her head, remembering her first impulse was to apologize to him. “No, Jack, I wasn’t mad about that. More embarrassed than anything, and I intended to apologize for my rude behavior that afternoon. But…but then I saw you with those women at the opera house,” she answered, unable to lie to him even if it humiliated her to admit it. “I saw you flirt with them and kiss them and…”

  “And?”

  She shrugged, grasping for a reasonable explanation before resorting to simple honesty. “I guess I was a bit jealous. I wished you had been up in the box flirting with me.”

  “I wanted to be,” he confessed with equal candor, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingertips. “I wanted nothing more, but after your sudden dismissal that afternoon, and your sister and Francis threatening me to leave you alone and to remember that it was ‘Eve’ up there and not you. I tried to stay away. I tried to drive from my mind the fact that you were so close by flirting shamelessly with every woman I saw. I never thought you might notice, and I am sorry if I upset you.”

  “Did you…uh…”

  “Have sex with any of them?” He finished the question for her, and she nodded with a flush. “Nay, lass, it seems I have but one woman on my mind right now and no other will do the trick for me.”

  Warmth from his simple confession spread through her, and Kitty turned her cheek into his palm and smiled softly into his liquid gaze.

  And sneezed.

  “My God woman, I need to get you into bed,” he said sternly and then burst out laughing. “I never thought to say such a thing to you so platonically. Shall I call for your maid?”

  “Sung Li will come in a few moments, I’m sure,” she assured him. “He has a way of knowing when I need him.” Kitty considered him for a moment. “If we take this step, you and I, I have some terms you must accept.”

  “Terms on the loan?”

  “No, terms for the affair.”

  “You’d put terms on something like that?” he asked suspiciously. “What sort of terms?”

  “I would like a long love affair, not just a night or two.” Saying the words aloud brought a blush to her cheeks that he thought most becoming.

  “I’m sure I could manage that.”

  Struggling with her embarrassment, she continued, “And affection. There must be affection.”

  “Of course.”

  He struggled to contain his smile as she glanced nervously about the room, focusing anywhere but on him. Her edgy demeanor was simply endearing, given he was certain his straightforward American lass had never approached such a topic before.

  “Anything else?”

  “Just one more thing.”

  Kitty stared up into his golden eyes, noting the playful amusement he did little to conceal. But beneath that was heat. That desire for her was simmering just beneath the surface. She wanted to experience it to the fullest, to submerge herself in that caldera of ardor, but if she were going to drown herself in him, she needed him to be fully committed to going down with her. She didn’t want to be in the depths of passion by herself. Would he be able to take the leap with her?

  She met his eyes. “Monogamy, Jack.”

  “Beg pardon?”

  The light in his eyes dimmed a bit. In confusion? Denial?

  “You must be true to me while we are in the midst of our bargain.”

  There was enough uncertainty in her gaze that Jack realized she wasn’t aware of her own appeal. Her beauty and spirit were enough to bring any man to his knees in devotion, including him. In truth, he supposed he was ‘monogamous’ to her already and they hadn’t even begun their bargain. Couldn’t she see that he was already enthralled by her? That until he had her for a long, long while that none other would do? How could he confess such a thing?

  “What say you?” she pressed. “Do we have a bargain?”

  Jack thought about her ‘bargain’, which was really much more of a charitable donation than anything else. Why would she do this? There was no gain in it for her other than conditions that were no onus on him at all. Was it only that she truly wanted him to live a life without the millstone around his neck as she said? He couldn’t believe it. There simply must be more to it.

  “I will think about it,” he relented, for he had no other solution readily available to him and he did want her so very badly. Still…

  Kitty wondered whether his hesitance to make an immediate commitment to their deal had to do with his pride over accepting her money or his aversion to committing to a monogamous love affair. It injured her pride to consider that the latter might be the
problem. He might want her physically, but not enough to give up his other women for the duration of their affair.

  “Must I truly ask Evelyn, though?” he went on a moment later, the change of subject welcome in buffering her dark thoughts.

  “I thought you said you had become friends?”

  “We have, of sorts, but I can just picture the malicious glee in her eyes when I come to her on bended knee.” The very thought was enough to buckle his resolve.

  “She would never. But think on it and let me know what you decide. I will look forward to hearing your answer. Ah,” she sighed, raising her head. “Here is Sung Li to make sure I get my rest.”

  “You’ve been down here too long, missy,” the old Chinaman chided her, and scowled at Jack. “You keep her too long! Now shoo!” He made a motion with his hands while Jack just stared at him in amazement. “See, missy, I told you no one around here has ever seen a Chinaman before.”

  “Oh no, old chap, it’s not that,” Jack chuckled as he departed into the hall. “I’ve just never seen a grown man act like such a little mother hen before!”

  To Kitty’s surprise, a wide smile split Sung Li’s lips. “I like him, missy, I do!”

  Chapter 20

  For there is no friend like a sister

  In calm or stormy weather;

  To cheer one on the tedious way,

  To fetch one if one goes astray,

  To lift one if one totters down,

  To strengthen whilst one stands.

  ~ Christina Rossetti

  “I have to admit I am a bit worried about you, Kat,” Eve said hesitantly as they were in the nursery the next morning, playing with their children. She’d expressed her worries to her husband and he had hit very perceptively on the real issue bothering Eve so greatly. Now she couldn’t hold back her concerns any longer.