Blackout After Dark: Gansett Island Series, Book 23

by Marie Force

  “I like it here. I feel less… raw here.”

  “Me, too. Doesn’t hurt that the people are great.”

  “No, it certainly doesn’t.”

  It was the longest conversation they’d had since Lewis died and almost seemed like the old days, when she’d felt like she could talk to him about anything. Oliver had been her best friend since the day they met, and she’d missed him. Before tragedy struck, she would’ve thought that nothing could ever come between them. She knew better now.

  They got out of the car, and Maisy ran ahead of them toward the door. Even she seemed to have new pep in her step after a few days on Gansett Island.

  Dara followed Oliver and Maisy into the lighthouse and up the spiral staircase to the second floor where they unpacked their bags and got settled. “Home” was another thing that had been fraught with peril since they lost Lewis. Dara couldn’t bear to be in their home without their little boy. She’d stayed with her parents for months, until their financial reality became such that they had to sell the house anyway.

  Before they came to Gansett, they’d been basically living separate lives within the same small space. Here, they had no choice but to sleep together, since there was only one bed. Maybe that would turn out to be a good thing. It couldn’t get any worse, that was for sure.

  Dara sat on the edge of the bed, not sure what to do with herself now that they were back at the lighthouse. When Maisy nudged her, she scratched between the dog’s ears.

  “Do you feel like going into town and having dinner?” Oliver asked.

  The hope she heard in his voice and saw in his expression moved her to agree. “Sure, that sounds good.”

  His face lit up with the first genuine smile she’d seen in longer than she could remember.

  “Hey, Ol?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Come here, will you?”

  He came to sit next to her on the bed.

  “I was just wondering if we could…”

  “What, honey?”

  “Would you hold me?”

  For a second, he seemed so surprised that she wondered if he’d do it. But then he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her in close to him and reminding her that he’d always been her home. She breathed in his familiar scent and rested her head in the curve of the shoulder where she fit so perfectly.

  “Feels good,” he said.

  “Feels like coming home.”

  “Dara…”

  “Don’t. Let’s just do this and go to dinner and celebrate a good day. Okay?”

  “Yeah, that’s okay.”

  Chapter 42

  It’d taken nearly a week to schedule an appointment with Kevin McCarthy, but now that the appointed time was upon them, Sydney was unreasonably nervous. Seeing a therapist reminded her too much of the unbearable months that’d followed the deaths of her first husband and their two children.

  That it’d nearly happened again was too much for her to handle, and no amount of therapy was going to change that.

  “Luke filled me in on why you’re here,” Kevin said.

  His warmth and calming demeanor helped to set the tone, but the agitation inside her was hard to ignore.

  “How about we start by you telling me about the accident from your point of view and how you’ve been feeling about it in the months since.”

  The last thing in the world Sydney wanted to do was revisit the terrifying minutes in which she’d been convinced that she and Lily were going to die. Only the eager, expectant, hopeful look on Luke’s face could get her to bare her soul this way. She ran through the events of that awful day, from leaving home with Lily and stopping to see a client on the way to lunch with Luke at the marina.

  “One minute we were sitting in the parking lot, and the next we were in the water. I banged my head on the steering wheel, so it took me a minute to snap out of it to realize we were in big trouble. And then Luke and Big Mac were there. They couldn’t get the doors open, and the windows wouldn’t work.” She paused before forcing herself to continue, to give voice to the unspeakable. “The one thing I remember most vividly, other than the panic and disbelief, was thinking that at least this time I’d get to go with her.”

  Luke gasped.

  “I’m so sorry.” Syd took his hand as she looked at him. “I hate that I thought that and not about what it would do to you to lose us, but it was such a relief to know I wouldn’t have to live through the nightmare again.”

  “That’s a very heavy thing to have to carry around with you, Syd,” Kevin said.

  “All of it is. That it even happened in the first place…” She shook her head. “That’s the part I just can’t get past. My daughter almost died because of me.”

  “I’ve tried and tried to help her see that it wasn’t her fault,” Luke said.

  “What if we put a different spin on it?” Kevin asked. “What if we allowed Syd to take the full blame for what happened—”

  Luke’s eyes flashed with anger. “Wait a minute.”

  “Hear me out.” Kevin held up a hand to stop his friend. “Syd, you’re already blaming yourself. You believe it was completely your fault, so what if we all agree that, yes, it was? You left the car in Drive, your foot slipped off the brake and hit the gas, and you’re the one who put that car in the water. Does it make you feel any better to have other people agree with what you already believe?”

  “It does,” Syd said, surprised to realize that was true. “I feel like I need to be held responsible.”

  “Okay, then we’ll hold you responsible, but only if you agree to consider the possibility that you made an honest mistake. Anyone who’s ever driven a car understands the potential for costly mistakes. A foot slips off a brake, and a car accidentally rolls through an intersection. Those are honest mistakes, as opposed to a driver who thinks they can easily make it through a caution light before it turns red, or that it’s no big deal to exceed the speed limit. Do you see the difference?”

  “I do, and logically, I know I’d never do anything that might put Lily in harm.”

  “Isn’t that the most important thing?” Kevin asked. “That you’d never do anything that might harm her? If you’re able to take responsibility for causing the accident, then you have to also accept that it wasn’t intentional.”

  “Wow, he’s good,” Syd said to Luke.

  He grunted out a laugh. “He sure is.”

  Kevin smiled as he leaned forward. “You can do both things at the same time—blame yourself for the accident while acknowledging that you’d never do anything to harm your precious daughter. You’re a wonderful mother, Sydney. Anyone who knows you can see that.”

  “She’s everything to me,” Syd said softly. “My beautiful second chance.”

  Luke gave her hand a squeeze.

  “You know better than anyone how things can happen, things we never see coming,” Kevin said.

  “I hate those things.”

  Kevin chuckled. “If you hate the bad things, then you have to also hate the good things. We’ve all lived long enough by now to know this life gives us plenty of each, and there’s often much more good than bad.”

  Sydney thought about that for a minute. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “I propose we continue to meet and talk it out until you start to feel better about what happened,” Kevin said. “However long it takes, I’m here.”

  “Thank you, Kevin. I’ll admit that I was reluctant to come, but I can see how it might help to air it out.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

  Kevin saw them out half an hour later, pleased by the progress they’d made in their first meeting. He’d sent them home with instructions to continue talking about what happened that day, how it had affected them both and how they felt about it. In his years of practice, he’d found that giving voice to those feelings could help people to deal with them.

  After he recorded his notes on their session and a few things he wanted to cover with them in the next one,
he left the office to head home to his girls, eager to see them after an afternoon at the office.

  When he got home, Chelsea was sitting on the sofa, breastfeeding baby Summer. Chelsea lit up when he came in, giving him a feeling he’d never felt before he’d had her. He kissed her and then Summer, whose eyes popped open and then danced with pleasure at the sight of her daddy.

  “What’s going on around here?”

  “The usual after a good nap for both of us.” Chelsea had talked about wanting to go back to work at the Beachcomber, but he’d encouraged her to take more time with the baby. She was so used to having to take care of herself that it had been an adjustment for her to let him take care of her.

  They’d decided she’d go back a couple of nights a week next summer.

  In the meantime, they were enjoying every minute with the baby girl who brought them such joy.

  “How was work?”

  “Good,” he said, “but nothing is better than this.”

  Summer had wrapped her little hand around his finger, squeezing tightly, the way she always did.

  “How would you feel about one more?”

  Kevin stared at her. “Ah…”

  Chelsea laughed right in his face. She did that a lot. “Not right this minute, but maybe in a year or so.”

  “I’m getting old.”

  “You are not. Age is just a number.”

  “I’m going to be fifty-four, Chels.”

  “I know that, but when I see Riley and Finn together, I want Summer to have that, too. A sibling close in age that she can grow up with and be best friends with the way they are.”

  “You do know how to keep me on my toes, Mrs. McCarthy.”

  “I can’t let you get too comfortable,” she said, smiling.

  “Before we had Summer, I secretly thought I was insane for starting over with another family when my boys are almost thirty.”

  “It wasn’t so secret. We all knew you were in a panic over it.”

  Smiling, he said, “Since she arrived, it’s like none of that even matters. She’s so perfect and so beautiful, and I’m completely in love with her. So, if you wanted to have another one, I’m fine with that. As long as we do it soon.”

  “We’ll do it soon.”

  “I’m available to provide stud services on a moment’s notice.”

  She lost it laughing. “Duly noted, stud.”

  “It’s a good thing I love you so much,” he said, kissing her.

  “It’s a very good thing.”

  Chapter 43

  With the power back on, the scheduled island premiere of Indefatigable would go on as planned Friday night, which left Stephanie with the same dilemma she’d confronted in LA. On Thursday afternoon, she stopped by Charlie’s house, hoping to get a minute alone with him.

  She found him in the garage, setting up tools on the pegboard over the new workbench she and Grant had bought him for his birthday. He kept his silver hair in a buzz cut and was wearing a Gansett Island tank-style shirt that put his arm muscles and tattoos on full display.

  “Hey,” she said. “Hope I’m not disturbing you.”

  When he turned to her, his face lit up with a big smile that made his blue eyes sparkle. He smiled a lot these days and had mostly shed the hard edges he’d brought home with him from prison. “Hey, kid. Come in. And PS, it’s not possible for you to disturb me.”

  From the time he first started dating her mom when Stephanie was eleven, she’d thought that everyone should be so lucky as to have a Charlie in their lives. He held out his arms to her, and she walked into his embrace. Being able to hug him any time she wanted never got old.

  “It’s looking good,” she said of the workbench and arrangement of tools.

  “Getting there.”

  “Where’s Sarah?”

  “Over at the hotel helping Laura with something.” He tipped his head and gave her a probing look. He’d always been able to see right through her. “What’s on your mind, Stephie Lou?”

  She loved when he called her that. “The premiere.”

  “Ah, I wondered if that was it. I heard from three different reporters this morning before breakfast. I’ll be glad when the hubbub dies down.”

  “Did you tell Grant that you’ve been getting those calls? He can ask the studio publicity people to deal with that.”

  “They’re the ones that gave them my number.”

  “Oh crap. You want me to tell them to stop calling you?”

  “Nah, it’s fine. I give them a quote, and they go away.”

  “I wonder why they don’t call me.”

  “Probably ’cause your husband told them to leave you alone. He’s seen how tender you are about this. We all have.”

  “I’m not tender,” she said disdainfully. “I’m just…”

  “Pregnant? Hormonal? Emotional? Tender? All of the above?”

  “Very funny, Charlie Bear.”

  “So all of the above, then, huh? Plus, a trip down Unpleasant Memory Lane on top of all that other stuff, and you’ve got yourself a predicament.”

  “Something like that. I want to be supportive of Grant and Dan and you and everyone involved in the telling of our story, but I just don’t know if I can bear to relive it. I feel like we’ve traveled a million miles since then.”

  “We have. For sure. Sometimes I even forget about it, you know? Like it’s noon before I remember I used to be locked up.”

  “That’s good. I don’t want you thinking about that.”

  “I’ll probably always think of it. It’s part of my story, just like you and your mom are part of my story. But I don’t think about the bad stuff so much anymore.”

  “I don’t either. There’s so much better stuff to think about now, for both of us. That’s why I’ve been kind of reluctant to reopen that door.”

  “Which is totally understandable. When I think about it now, I’m not sure which one of us had it worse—me on the inside or you on the outside fighting our battles by yourself.”

  “You had it much worse. At least I was free.”

  “Were you, though?”

  Leave it to him to cut through the bullshit. Stephanie looked up at him. “Are you going to the premiere?”

  “Don’t know yet. Figured I’d decide the day of.” He took her by the chin and gently compelled her to look at him. “Maybe we ought to go together and get it over with, hmm?”

  “Don’t do that for me.”

  “Who else would I do it for? I think you actually want to see this project that Grant has poured his heart and soul into over the last two years.”

  “I do. He’s worked so hard. If it was about anything else…”

  “I know that, and so does he. How about we make a date of it, you and me? I’ll pick you up and even buy your popcorn.”

  Stephanie could always count on her Charlie Bear to make her laugh and to give her exactly what she needed. “Remember our very first ‘date’?”

  He thought about that for a second. “I’m not sure which one was first.”

  “You took me to see The Little Mermaid, and you said I could have any snack I wanted.”

  Nodding as he smiled, he said, “And you stood at the counter for so long trying to pick something that we almost missed the start of the movie.”

  “That was the first time anyone had ever told me I could have anything I wanted. I picked Milk Duds, and every time I’ve had them since then, I’ve thought of that, the first time my dad took me out, just me and him, and how special you made it for me. How special you made everything for me.” She forced herself to look at him. “If you wonder why I spent fourteen years obsessed with getting you out of jail, it was because of the Milk Duds, because of The Little Mermaid and the dance classes you paid for and took me to and the things you taught me about bugs and nature and animals. It was all of it. You were everything to me, and you still are.”

  He took a few steps to close the distance between them, put his arms around her and gave her one of the
Charlie Bear hugs she’d missed so much during the years they’d been apart. “You’re everything to me, too, kid,” he said gruffly. “Always have been, always will be.”

  “How about you pick me up at the Bistro around six thirty tomorrow?”

  “It’s a date.”

  Chapter 44

  Seamus and Carolina had spent two agonizing days waiting to hear if the boys’ father would accept their offer. Dan had called them Thursday night to say they had a deal, that Jace Carson had agreed to the plan that would allow him to see the boys twice a year. When they were both of age—or sooner if all parties agreed—they’d be told Jace was their biological father.

  If he stuck around that long, that was.

  In exchange for access to the boys, Dan had required Jace to sign a release that stated he wouldn’t challenge the custody arrangements Lisa made before her death. It had been a great relief to Seamus and Carolina to hear that Jace had signed that document.

  Jace had wasted no time in requesting his first visit, and he was due to arrive within the next few minutes. Seamus had arranged for Joe to take his afternoon runs on the ferry so Seamus could be home with his family. He’d spent a few hours online, getting to know the man who’d fathered the boys and had learned of a long struggle with drugs that’d briefly landed him in jail.

  By all accounts, Jace had been clean and sober for some time and had become an advocate for others struggling with addiction. From photos posted to social media, Seamus learned that Jace had blond hair like his sons. In fact, Kyle looked just like him, which led Seamus to wonder if Kyle would notice the resemblance. The boys were smart and bright, and not much got by them.

  “If they figure it out,” Carolina said when he shared his concern with her, “then we’ll tell them the truth sooner rather than later. The only thing that’ll matter to them is that they’re safe and secure in their home with us.”

  From where they sat at the kitchen table, they could hear the boys running around outside with Burpy barking as he tried to keep up with them. They often joked that they never had to wonder where the boys were because they could always hear them and the dog.