The Pages of Her Life

by James L. Rubart

  “A sliver?”

  Derrek chuckled. “Maybe two slivers.”

  “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “No one explained this to you?”

  “Would I be asking if they did?”

  “Linda was going to text you to give you a heads-up. But she mentioned that her cell service has been intermittently cutting in and out. My guess is she did indeed send it, but unfortunately it didn’t reach you due to an error on the technical side of things.”

  Allison stared at him. Did he really believe the propaganda that flowed out of his mouth?

  “Has anyone filled you in since you got here?” Derrek waited for an answer and didn’t get one, so he continued. “We hired some new folks on Friday, and we needed spots to put them. Consequently, we had to do a bit of consolidation.”

  “Fine. But why not move someone into my existing office? Why stick me—”

  “This isn’t a punishment, Allison.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “It’s a compliment.” Derrek chuckled. “To you.”

  “What?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re trying to tell me that putting me in the smallest office we have, with another person, and doing it without talking to me, while I’m on vacation, is a compliment?”

  “Yes.” The chuckle Allison had grown to hate bubbled out of Derrek’s mouth again.

  “I’d really like to get an explanation of how that’s possible.”

  Derrek leaned back on the credenza his bookshelves sat on, folded his arms, and gave her the smile that used to inspire her.

  “Most of the people around here don’t have the strength of character you have. You’re strong. You have vision. You can see the big picture. You won’t take your office being moved personally, which others might do.”

  “I’m your partner. Why would you do this to your partner? I can’t work in that small a space. My design table is too small.”

  Derrek rubbed his forehead just above one eyebrow and chuckled. “It’s not readily apparent how this slipped my mind.”

  Allison stared at him, arms tight across her chest.

  “I haven’t chatted with you at all about the office expansion, have I?”

  Again, Allison remained silent.

  Derrek marched out of his office and beckoned Allison to follow. “Come with me, Allison. You need to see something.”

  He strode through the lobby, through the front door of the office, and down the hallway, his long legs chewing up the carpet far faster than Allison could. He didn’t bother to look back to see if she was following. Derrek ducked through the first door he came to on the left.

  It was closed by the time she reached it. She pushed it open to find Derrek standing forty feet away, gazing out of floor-to-ceiling windows. The space was gutted, only flecks of carpet on the floor, the walls torn out in places, paint cans along the wall to her right, electrical supplies along the wall to her left.

  “See this, Allison?” Derrek grinned. “This is ours. And we’re going to spend the money to make it spectacular.”

  “When—”

  “Come here, come here. This is what I wanted to show you.” He waved her over to a set of offices to the right. “See this one? It’s going to be yours. Bigger than your old office, and a view to wake up nights thinking about.”

  Allison stared at the space. It was bigger than her old office by at least fifty percent. And the view of the Olympic Mountains was stunning.

  “I had no idea . . .”

  “No, I realize that now.” Derrek grinned. “What do you think?”

  “It’s really nice.”

  “Good, good. I knew you’d like it. Glad you could take the time to see it. Don’t worry, Allison, we’ll get you in here soon. Construction should be finished in a couple of months. Three or four, tops.”

  “This is great, Derrek. Really is. And as long as we’re talking about the future, I want to recall our conversation before I went to the beach. How we were both going to think about our partnership and get that finalized. I’m ready, so I’d like to set up a time to make that happen.”

  “Yes,” Derrek said. “I would too. However, these next couple of weeks are going to be quite busy, so let’s plan on touching base in ten days. Don’t worry, we will get that handled.”

  With that, Derrek strode from the room, leaving Allison to consider the fact that with a small portion of the money Derrek was spending on the renovation, he could have started paying her what he’d promised her two months ago.

  On the way home Allison stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few items and found herself staring at the woman two people ahead of her in the checkout line. From the back and slight profile view, it was hard to tell for sure, but it looked like Derrek’s wife. Allison had only met her once briefly at the office.

  As the woman picked up her bags, she turned and noticed Allison peering at her.

  “Hey, Allison! Hi, I don’t know if you recognize me, but I’m Sunnie Wright, Derrek’s wife.”

  “Yes, it’s great to see you.”

  “You too.” She motioned toward Allison’s items. “I’ll wait for you and we can walk to our cars together.”

  A few moments later, when they stepped outside, Sunnie said, “So you’ve been working for Derrek for two or three months now, right? How are things going?”

  Sunnie’s name was ideal. Derrek’s wife shone with kindness, and her green eyes were inviting.

  “Ups and downs, you know, but overall it’s been good. Just wanting to get the partnership finalized, but Derrek and I talked about that today, and we’re going to take care of it soon.”

  Sunnie frowned. “What partnership?”

  “Derrek’s and mine.”

  “My Derrek?” Sunnie laughed and patted Allison’s arm gently. “That will be the day when he lets someone partner with him again.”

  Allison’s body grew hot as she stared at Sunnie. “What do you mean? He told me he talked to you about it. Made sure you were okay with a woman becoming his partner. I even asked if I could sit down with you and discuss it, and he said you were fine with it.”

  “Not that I can recall. But we don’t talk that much about the business.” Sunnie’s face grew serious. “Are you sure?”

  “There’s no doubt in my mind.”

  An understanding look came over Sunnie’s countenance. “Allison, I don’t know what to say.”

  Allison stood stunned, her body shifting from hot to numb.

  “I’m so sorry, Allison.” Sunnie patted her arm once more, then turned and walked away.

  Wednesday, July 3rd

  Freedom Day tomorrow. Maybe for our country. Not for me. I’m furious and frustrated and stressed all at the same time. Ran into Derrek’s wife at the grocery store this afternoon, and she claims Derrek never told her about our partnership. Is she lying? If not, it was an Oscar-worthy performance. Does not matter! He said we’d get the partnership handled, and I’m going to hold him to it. And with the whole moving-my-office thing, once again Derrek has spun the top. Yes, if the construction he told me about today happens, wonderful. But it feels too much like smoke and mirrors. Tomorrow and Friday and Saturday and Sunday I will not think about work. At all. But on Monday I’m going in with both guns blazing. I’ll get the partnership finished once and for all. We cannot keep living like this. We are out of money and I have to fix this. You want to change something about this entry, mighty angel? Fine. But I’m not looking at it. The only change that I’m going to think about is the one where my name goes from Worker to Partner.

  forty-one

  YOU WANTED TO SPEAK WITH ME?” Derrek looked up from his laptop for a moment on the following Monday, then returned to studying the screen.

  “Yes.”

  Allison stood in the doorframe of Derrek’s office, her face set like flint. This would be the moment. He’d try to stall. Find a compelling reason to push off the conversation another day, week, month. No. Not today.


  “About?”

  “Finalizing the partnership. It’s been almost three and a half months, Derrek. You’ve been stalling, making excuses, and I’m tired of it. I know we talked about it last week, about your busy schedule, but I’d like to talk about the partnership now. I bumped into your wife on Wednesday and brought up the partnership, and she said she had no idea what I was talking about.”

  “Yes, she mentioned seeing you at the grocery store.” Derrek nodded, his face full of mock concern. “And you’re right, it’s definitely been delayed.”

  “Yes, it has been.” She stepped inside and closed his door. “Let’s take care of that.”

  “I have a busy schedule this morning.”

  “Yes, I understand that. So do I. And I’ll have one tomorrow and the next day and the next. So will you. Tyranny of the urgent. But this needs to happen now, not this afternoon or in a few weeks.”

  Irritation flashed across Derrek’s face, then his countenance shifted to amusement, then went blank.

  “I see.” He closed his laptop, pushed back from his desk, and motioned to the chairs in the corner of his office, then stood and meandered over and sat. Allison hesitated, then moved over and settled into the maroon chair across from him.

  Derrek crossed his legs and nodded. “I know you’ve been frustrated at the length of time it’s taken to sit down and structure our agreement, and you would classify that as wrong, but that’s not truly the situation we find ourselves in. It’s been a valuable time. Time that has given us both time to think. Time to listen.”

  “Think about what? Listen to whom?”

  “Think about the partnership. Pray. Listen to wise counsel from God and from other people who know the company.”

  “Like Linda?”

  “Yes, she’s one of them.”

  “What does she have to do with our partnership?”

  Derrek gave her a puzzled look. “Since she runs the office, has her ear to the ground with the staff, with clients, she offers a unique perspective on this company. She’s been an invaluable part of my team since the day I hired her six years ago. Her insight has proved useful countless times.”

  “I’m sure it has.”

  “Good, good. I knew you’d respect her opinion on the workings of the company and how I cannot dismiss her sage counsel without careful consideration. Her bright light and gentle approach to people have been a seminal part of Wright Architecture’s success. I’m glad we agree on that.”

  Spinning again. Yes, Linda ran a tight ship. But it was not from a well of kindness. And no, she did not respect Linda’s opinions.

  “I didn’t say I—”

  “And since you and I both agree her counsel should be held in high esteem, then this conversation could potentially be easier than I anticipated.”

  Allison’s hands went cold.

  “What is her counsel?”

  Derrek folded his hands across his lap. “Her counsel is that you should not become a partner.”

  “What?”

  “That can’t surprise you. You haven’t exactly won her over to your side.”

  Heat rose into Allison’s face.

  “Also, as I just indicated, I’ve had a chance to ponder the idea of our partnership as well. I’ve prayed about it extensively. Sought the views of my brothers at church. With all those considerations in mind, I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re not ready, and consequently I’m not ready for you to become a partner in this company.”

  Allison’s body went numb. “Are you kidding me?”

  “But I do want to be clear on one thing.” He smiled as if he were about to give her winning lottery numbers. “This is quite possibly a temporary decision. I believe I can say with a fair level of certainty that you will indeed become a partner in this company someday. An extremely high likelihood. You’ve been doing excellent work. The clients you work with have commended you often.”

  “Then why—”

  “Consequently, my suggestion is we revisit this conversation in six months or so and see how we both feel about it then.”

  Six months? Allison clutched the arms of her chair as if letting go would send her toppling to the gray carpet. She stared at him, Derrek now giving her a thin smile that seemed to say everything was exactly as it should be. This couldn’t be happening. But of course it could. She’d seen it coming, had known it was coming, but didn’t want to admit it. How could he do this to her? Lie to her? How? Simple. Lying was what Derrek did. It was who he was.

  “I can’t believe you.”

  “Oh?” Derrek stood and strolled back to his desk, sat, and opened his laptop. “Why is that, Allison?”

  “You enticed me to come over here to be a partner. A partner. I never would have come simply to work for you. For anybody.”

  Allison stood and paced, blood pulsing hard in her temples. “You said we were partners. I have your proposal. You wrote the word partner in memos and emails to clients for weeks after I got here. I saved those emails. It wasn’t a delusion on my part. You gave me your word!”

  “Now, Allison, there is no need to get upset. What you have to consider is there are different definitions of the word partner. I consider everyone who comes to this office to work on common goals as a partner in the work we’re doing for our clients. When I hired you I did bring you on as a partner. And when I wrote those notes to clients, you were a partner, just as all of us working here are partners. I realize now—thank you for pointing it out to me—that your definition was different and continues to be different.”

  Allison stared at Derrek, her mind blank. She hadn’t expected this conversation to be simple, but she hadn’t expected a spin of this magnitude either.

  “Wait a second. On one hand, you’re saying Linda doesn’t want me to be a partner, which indicates you know exactly what the word means. You grasp the benefits and position that come with it, because she doesn’t want me to be one. On the other hand, you’re saying everyone is a partner.”

  Derrek’s face went cold. “Let me repeat, everyone is a partner. For example, Linda considers herself a partner, as she should. In her arrangement, she receives a percentage of profits, but she does not own any percentage of this company. If you chatted with any number of the people who work here, they, too, would describe their positions as partners. Just as I hope you were doing, and of course I thought you were doing, up until this conversation.”

  “No, Derrek. You’re not going to spin this one. All our conversations were about partnership in the same way Kayla and I were partners. Ownership of the company. Sharing profits. My definition comes from the one you gave me when we talked on the phone and you said you wanted me to be your partner. From the paper you showed me at The Vogue that said in writing I would get thirty-nine percent of the company. It comes from the fact I came from a partnership with Kayla and you knew exactly what my partnership was with her, and you knew I would be expecting the same thing when I came here.”

  “Our expectations and reality are often quite different. Often we tell ourselves a story that is quite a bit askew from the facts of a situation.”

  “Why did you lie to me?”

  Derrek looked up from his laptop and gave a little chuckle.

  “I never lied to you. We both knew going in that we were going to take time to see how you would best work at my company. We—”

  “No. We did not know that. I was patient because I trusted you.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” He turned back to his laptop. “I trust you as well. But let me be clear. You’re not getting thirty-nine percent of this company, now or ever. As I said previously, at some point it might be God’s leading for you to become a partner and share in a percentage ownership in this company. But that time is not now.”

  “I can’t do this any longer.” Tears rose to her eyes and she wiped them away quickly.

  Derrek shut his laptop for the second time and folded his hands.

  “This has been a profitable conversation, Allison. Let
me explain why. I didn’t understand the depth of your belief that you were coming over here as a partner in the same way you were with Kayla. It would have been wise of you to procure a definition and clarify that definition in writing so we could be literally on the same page from the start.”

  “We were on the same page! The one you showed me at—”

  “However, your opportunity to do that has passed. Consequently, we need to determine a plan going forward. Perhaps your time here at Wright Architecture is coming to an end. I do not want that to be the case. I had hoped we would work together for many years. But I know money is something you have a great desire to have more of. That you want—”

  “The money is not for me! I need—”

  Derrek waved his hand. “Regardless of the motivation, you still find yourself in a position where you want more income. With that in mind, let me talk to Linda in the next few weeks and see if we can increase your salary somewhat a month or two from now.”

  “I don’t have a month to wait, Derrek.”

  He continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “In addition, if it would make you feel better, I have no problem adding the word partner to your business card. Perhaps we should make that offer to all who work here. What do you think?”

  Allison’s mind reeled. Partner on her business card was supposed to placate her? And yet, if he was serious about an increased salary, should she stay? And if she didn’t, where would she go?

  “Let me repeat, I want you to stay with me. And it’s evident to me that this conversation should have happened a great deal earlier. You will make partner, Allison. You will have a percentage of this company. It’s coming—I promise you that.”

  A battle raged in her mind. Half of her wanted to release the inferno that was swirling through her; the other half shouted to be cautious. Five seconds passed. Ten.