A Love to Cherish

by Linda Ford

  “Just a week until the school raising,” Reese said. And then he’d have no more reason to hang about town. Did she realize that?

  “I’ve been working on plans for lessons.” She told him about a teacher she’d had back in Ohio who had encouraged her interest in teaching and taught her how to prepare to instruct a variety of grades. “I think I will have grades one to six if all the children are sent.”

  “You might have some big ones who can’t read.”

  “I’ve thought of that and have been thinking of ways to interest them.”

  He listened as she talked about her plans. Her enthusiasm held his attention almost as much as the way her expression filled with anticipation.

  Would all that be changed, perhaps her goals taken from her, when her parents learned where she was?

  He wished there was some way he could keep her secret locked up inside him. But even if he did, how long would it be before someone else recognized her? How long before Smitty took matters into his own hands?

  He’d sooner be the one to tell her who she was, with the support of her parents to keep her wrapped in their love. He’d let her be the one to decide if and when she wanted to meet her Chicago family.

  He would have lingered all day, whiling away the hours in the sunshine, but Mickey was expecting him to take over the livery barn. “We should be getting back.” He reached to gather up the picnic things at the same time she did. His hand covered hers on the handle of the basket.

  They looked at each other. He knew from the shards of light in her eyes that she was as aware of the tension between them as he was.

  He curled his hand around hers and drew her close. She lifted her gaze to his. If he wasn’t mistaken, he saw there a world of invitation. Probably one she was unaware of and would deny.

  Exerting every bit of self-control he could muster, he released her hand and finished gathering up the picnic things. He pushed to his feet, helped Victoria to hers, and smiled at her, not wanting her to think he didn’t see her as the beautiful, alluring young woman she was.

  They called Donny and returned to the wagon. Donny chose to sit in the back with his barn and animals.

  Victoria sat beside Reese on the wagon seat. No one said anything for the first part of the return journey, which was odd for Donny, and Reese turned to check on him. The boy had curled up with his toys and fallen asleep.

  Victoria had turned at the same time. Again, their gazes met. She smiled, and he felt a connection he could not deny. But neither could he act on it until he dealt with his knowledge of her past.

  Sunday, he promised himself, he would find a time and place to talk to the preacher.

  That left him three more days in which to keep his secret.

  He thought Sunday would never come but now that it had, he wished he had a few more days before he had to deal with the information he carried like a lead weight. It was good that the past three days had been busy.

  The school board members—minus the preacher—had met to discuss the school raising and how to proceed with the work. That took the most of one afternoon.

  He spent two days painting the barn. The building looked good and from his vantage point on the ladder, Reese had enjoyed watching Victoria and her sisters work in their garden. He smiled to think of Donny’s eagerness when they handed him a hoe and let him help.

  Victoria had wandered by the livery one afternoon, supposedly on her way to visit Lisa. Mickey was away on business which happened to take him the direction of a certain widow by the name of Martha Anderson, so Victoria had kept Reese company for an hour before she continued on her way.

  Saturday was busy with people coming and going. One notable visitor was Earl Douglas, who left his horse and said he hadn’t had supper so went over to Sylvie’s Diner. Reese might have found an excuse to call on the ladies at the manse. He could say he came to see if they needed wood chopped or water hauled. But Mickey asked him to stay and watch the barn.

  But finally, Sunday arrived. He’d used the square washtub Mickey kept hanging on a wall and enjoyed a warm bath. He dried off, pulled on clean clothes, brushed his hair, and tucked in his new shirt—a handsome thing in light gray. Then he made his way to the church. Perhaps he could speak to the preacher before the service and arrange a time to talk.

  He arrived at the church after the Kinsley ladies. They were already halfway down the aisle. He looked about for the preacher but didn’t see him.

  Victoria glanced back. She signaled him to join her.

  He hurried forward to do so and slid into the pew beside her. “I don’t see your pa.”

  “He’s not here yet. Ma’s getting a little worried. She keeps saying she doesn’t know what to do if he doesn’t show up.” She slanted a teasing smile at him. “Maybe you could take his place.”

  He knew she was teasing and yet the idea drained the blood from his face.

  She laughed softly. “Don’t panic. I’m sure someone else will take his place. Someone who isn’t going to pass out at the idea.”

  He forced himself to swallow past the constriction in his throat.

  A gray-haired man dressed in dusty cowboy duds hurried up the aisle and paused near the front. He saw Victoria’s ma. “Mrs. Kinsley?”

  “Yes.”

  The cowboy sat in the pew in front of her and turned to speak softly. “Ma’am, I’m Jonathan Bates. Your husband has sent me with a message. He says Stewart isn’t doing well and he can’t leave him.”

  Mrs. Kinsley and her daughters gasped. “What are we to do?”

  The old cowboy looked half fearful, half eager. “The preacher says one of the girls is to play the piano and the others stand by her and all of them sing. He says the congregation will enjoy singing with them.”

  “Does he expect them to sing for an hour?”

  “He asked if I would tell what God has done for me, and I agreed.”

  Reese understood Mrs. Kinsley’s consternation.

  But for him, it meant he couldn’t speak to the preacher about what he knew of Victoria.

  How much longer must he wait?

  Victoria accompanied her sisters to the piano and began to play. Flora had joined them. “Let’s begin with number twenty-four,” Flora said, and without paying any attention to the murmured surprise of those seated in the sanctuary, the girls sang one song after another. None of them had any idea how long they should sing, but after six songs, Eve whispered to them. “Let’s make this the last one.”

  So, they sang the last song and returned to their seats.

  There was a restless shuffling behind them then the old cowboy went to the pulpit. The place was immediately quiet.

  “My name is Jonathan Bates. Most people know me as Bates. I have a ranch up near where Stewart Kennedy lives. That’s where I met Preacher Kinsley and we got to talking. Well, Stewart Kennedy ain’t doing so well. You could all remember to pray for him and the preacher. Anyways, when the preacher realized he couldn’t make it this morning, he asked me to come here and tell you my story. So here I am.” He cleared his throat and sucked in air.

  “I was the worst man you could imagine. I done all sorts of things that would make you want to run me out of town, or worse, and I wouldn’t blame you. Come a time I got sick of myself and the way my life was going. You might say I hit bottom and I hit it hard. Real hard. Weren’t no place for me to go. Couldn’t go up. Was as far down as I could go.”

  Victoria sat spellbound by the simple, heart-felt words of the old cowboy. She glanced around and thought from the way everyone stared forward that he had the same effect on the others.

  Jonathan Bates continued. “While I was in the pit of despair, God reached down and plucked me up. I was lost but Jesus found me. Like the Good Book says, he found his poor lost sheep. He took me from the miry clay and put my feet on the solid rock. And there I will stay until He calls me home.”

  Victoria pressed her lips tight. Lost but Jesus found me. What beautiful words. Words she would carry in he
r heart every time she feared about her past.

  “Now folks, you would think I would be happy as can be to have Jesus rescue me, and I was. But I clung to the old things. I hung on to the past. I was reluctant to let it all go. Lookin’ back, I can’t understand why I did. There was nothing back there for me. But it took a bit of struggle. Years, in fact, before I let it all go.” As Bates talked Victoria felt as if the words were meant especially for her. She clung to the past and for what reason?

  Bates wasn’t through. “There was one more thing God had to do in my life. You see, folks, the thing that I blamed for setting me down that horrible path was the unfaithfulness of the woman I loved. The one I married and hoped to spend the rest of my life with. ‘Stead she ran off with a carnival barker. I’m here to tell you, it hurt something awful. I let that bitterness grow into a festering sore. I let it drive me to do awful things. But here’s the thing. She ain’t now nor never was responsible for what I done. Those were my choices. So, when God said I had to forgive her, I knew I had to do it. Was it easy, do you think? You know what? Once I realized it was necessary, it weren’t so hard. It was a relief, in fact. I’d been carrying around all that hateful stuff for so long and it was plumb tiresome. Folks, I’m here to say that when God sets a man free, he is free indeed. That’s what happened to me and if it’s helped you in any way to hear my story, I’m grateful to God. I guess I just want you all to know two important things. Jesus rescues the lost, and He forgives us of so much that any little bit of forgiveness He asks of us is nothing. God bless you all.” He returned to his place in front of Ma.

  No one moved. No one spoke. And then Ma stood and signaled the family to stand also. She turned to Mr. Bates. “Please join us for dinner.” They left the church and, slowly, as if reluctant to end a meeting that had been unusual to say the least, the rest of the congregation followed.

  Reese stood outside in the sunshine. Bates’s message had left him floundering. Was it as simple to forgive as the man said? Could he forgive Betty?

  More importantly, would Victoria forgive him for the truth he would soon reveal?

  Victoria misinterpreted his inaction. “You’re invited to dinner as well.”

  “Thanks.” He gladly fell in beside them. Told himself he regretted that he wouldn’t be able to talk to the preacher about Constance Hayworth aka Victoria Kinsley. But in truth, he welcomed the reprieve.

  A cowboy who had eaten with them on a previous occasion also joined them. Teller. Reese wondered if the man had his eye on one of the girls. So long as it wasn’t Victoria.

  It didn’t take long for the family and their guests to sit around the table. Mrs. Kinsley asked Mr. Bates to ask the blessing.

  The man’s prayer was short, but Reese felt as if he’d been touched by angel wings. He wondered if any of the others felt the same. He hoped he would get a chance to ask Victoria and remind her of the picture of angels hovering above them.

  Mrs. Kinsley asked for details about her husband and Stewart Kennedy.

  “Stewart’s wound has gotten infected. Your husband is applying compresses and doing everything he can, but he said he can’t leave the man. Said Stewart needs his wound cared for but even more, he needs the preacher to pray over him.”

  “That was a lovely sermon,” Mrs. Kinsley said. “I can understand why my husband asked you to speak.”

  “’T’weren’t no sermon. Just telling what God’s done for me.”

  Victoria leaned forward. “God has done much the same for me. I was lost after my accident. Didn’t have a past or a memory. But God was with me. I’ve been found into this family where I know I am loved. I’m going to cling to that joy. This is the only family I have. I have to accept that any other family I ever had was killed in the accident.”

  Mrs. Kinsley dabbed at her eyes. “Victoria, you are as much my child as if I had given birth to you.”

  “I know.” She squeezed her mother’s fingers.

  Under the table, Reese curled his hands into fists. Her family wasn’t dead. He couldn’t explain why they hadn’t found her, but once they knew she was here, Victoria’s world would be turned upside down.

  He wished he could stop that.

  Several of the others commented on Mr. Bates’s talk.

  Bates turned his gray eyes to Reese. “What do you have to say, young fella?”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know, but something has you squirming. Care to talk about it?”

  Reese felt every eye turn to him. He widened his eyes, determined no one else would see how he struggled with his secret knowledge. “You make forgiveness sound easy.” He hadn’t meant to blurt out those words, but neither could he pull them back. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to.

  “I didn’t mean to make it sound easy. It’s not. But it’s necessary.”

  “Why?”

  Mr. Bates kept his gaze fixed on Reese. “Two reasons that I know of. God says if we can’t forgive others, He can’t forgive us. I expect you know the story of the unforgiving debtor. How his great debt was forgiven but then he demanded instant payment from someone who owed him a few pennies. God was not pleased with that man. But there’s another reason. If we keep unforgiveness in our hearts it becomes a festering sore. For me, it made it so I couldn’t love anyone else. Guess I didn’t even much like myself.” He smiled gently. “Forgiveness is a heart-cleansing for ourselves.”

  “I see.” Reese’s heart yearned for freedom from his anger toward Betty.

  Donny edged forward. “Mama told me to forgive.”

  With a gentle smile, Bates asked the boy to explain.

  As Donny repeated what he’d told Reese and Victoria a few days ago, Reese turned Bates’s words over and over in his mind.

  A little later, Victoria said, “I’d like to go look at the school site.”

  “I’ll take you.” He followed her from the table, surprised none of the others joined them. But glad. “Did you feel the angels hovering nearby?”

  She blinked. “Can’t say as I did.”

  He told how Bates’s prayer had reminded him of the picture in her art book.

  “A comforting thought.” They arrived at the school lot. She hugged her arms about her. “Just a two more days and a building will stand here. Norm tells me there are men building desks. Soon, very soon, I will have a classroom full of children.” She faced Reese. “Mr. Bates made me realize I must let the past go, and I have.”

  “No more fears about someone knowing who you are?”

  She shook her head. “I am Victoria Kinsley.”

  “And if someone does show up claiming to know who you were?” He had to do his best to warn her without alarming her.

  She gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “I will still be Victoria Kinsley. Besides, I’m convinced I have no family. Otherwise, why haven’t they come forward by now?” Her confident smile dipped into his heart. He could not say anything more until he’d spoken to her father.

  “Reese, you need to forgive Betty, don’t you?”

  He wished he could deny it, but he couldn’t. “I thought pushing it to the back of my mind was good enough.”

  “It’s not, is it? I realized that today when Mr. Bates spoke of forgiveness.” She looked to the treetops.

  “Who do you have to forgive?”

  “The man responsible for the train accident. Maybe even my first family, if I have one. Why didn’t they look for me?”

  “You don’t know that they didn’t.”

  “That no longer matters. I accept that I have no other family.”

  It was all Reese could do not to say she was wrong.

  “What about you and Betty?”

  He knew what she meant but wasn’t sure it was as easy as she and Bates seemed to think. “Betty is history.”

  “I would argue otherwise if how she treated you is still affecting your decisions.”

  “She taught me to be cautious and that isn’t a bad thing.” His insides twisted as he thought of how Bet
ty had made a fool of him. He thought of the key that locked his heart so solidly. Trust. He’s always thought he needed to trust others. Now he saw it worked both ways. It pained him to know Victoria trusted him at the moment and yet he had such a huge secret.

  “Is letting go so hard?” Victoria’s words were gentle, drawing the poison from the wound Betty had left.

  He sucked in air. “I forgive.” The infection disappeared. He knew his face revealed his surprise. “Is it really that easy?”

  She laughed and caught his arm to press her face to his shoulder. “I think we need to get to the place where we’re ready.”

  He dipped his head to hers. “‘If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.’” He would revel in the lightness of his heart except for the heavy rock of the secret he held.

  Neither of them said anything more as they made their way toward the river and sat on the wooden bench overlooking the water.

  Mickey and Martha walked toward them. Jimmy trotted at their side, talking a mile a minute. From the other side, Flora and Kade, Eve and Josie, and even Teller came. Soon they gathered in a group and discussed everything from the weather to the upcoming school raising.

  Reese would have liked to have Victoria to himself, but the burden of his secret weighed heavily, and he welcomed the presence of the others, making it impossible for him to spill what he knew.

  He said goodbye shortly afterwards, leaving Mickey to enjoy the afternoon with Martha and Jimmy, and made his way to the livery barn.

  The next day, the building material arrived. He and several other men trundled it over to the building site. Two of the board members stayed behind and they and Reese began to lay out the material, ready for the school to go up.

  They worked until suppertime then returned to put in two more hours before dark.

  Finished, they clapped each other on the back. “Tomorrow, we put up a school for Glory, Montana Territory. We’re becoming a real town.”

  Reese made his way to the livery barn and retired to his room.