"Are you wanting to leave Clear Creek, or just get away from me?" Mack's question floored her.
"Why would you ask such a question?"
"Answer, please."
"I don't think the town would let me stay past their so-called probation period, so I need another job to survive. My looking for a job has nothing to do with you."
But Pansy couldn't look at him when she said it, because it was a lie. Mack was a big temptation, but he deserved a full-time wife and mother for his children.
"I think the work you did today will secure your job. And to be sure you stay, I've sent out letters looking for other carpenter work for me."
Pansy was shocked at his announcement. "Why? Your family lives here. Why would you leave?"
"If I can't share my life with you, it will be hard to live here seeing you marry someone else."
"You know I can't marry because of my job. I can't be nine months with child and racing out on Oats to help a patient deliver a baby."
"During that time frame people can come to your office and women usually help each other with midwifing."
"Could you share me with a community who needs a doctor at the drop of a hat? There would be days I couldn't be home to cook a meal, nights I'd be away from home.
"Accidents happen and the patients can't always come to town. I'll be around contagious people that could make me ill, or worse."
"Doesn't bother me if you're called away, because my folks were always on call, ready to walk out of the parsonage whenever someone in our congregation needed help. Us boys were home alone many nights when our parents went to a death bed, or to comfort the family of a sick person."
Mack stopped to collect his thoughts and Pansy didn't want to disrupt him.
"Your profession is 'service to others', and I respect that. I know what it means because I'm a preacher's kid. I didn't always like it when my folks had to miss a school program or couldn't take us fishing, but I learned how special their calling was."
Pansy saw his point, but she'd always believed she couldn't have both, a home and a career, because that's the way society was. You were married with children, or a spinster trying to make ends meet on whatever job you could find. At least being the doctor in Clear Creek, she received a home and office space to help with her expenses. If she moved to another town, she might not have those advantages.
Mack watched her as he ate his meal, probably knowing she was arguing with herself. Pansy gave a sigh and gave in to her hunger. She couldn't help others if she didn't take care of herself.
"Pretend you could do whatever you wanted, Pansy. Money's not in the equation. What would you be doing?" Mack challenged her before forking another mouthful of meat into his mouth and vigorously chewing.
"Anything?"
"Anything. An Artic explorer, a U.S. senator, a door-to-door salesman selling pots and pans, a circus clown..."
Pansy couldn't help giggling at his suggestions.
"What about you?" Pansy turned the question to him.
"Always wanted to be a carpenter since I was five years old. No question of my profession, although some people may have several careers over their lifetime," Mack shrugged his shoulders. "But who knows where life will lead you. Maybe I'll be a merchant marine ten years from now."
Pansy thought back to her childhood in Wyoming. "As a kid, I was on my own a lot since I didn’t have any siblings.
"Who were your playmates? Were there any country schools back then in your area?"
"We were very isolated on the large ranch, so my pa taught me how to read and write. My playmates were the animals on the ranch and I loved taking care of them if they were injured. My pa said I had a knack for healing.”
“Did you think about studying to be a veterinarian?”
“No. Most people doctor their own animals, after all. But when I was thirteen, I started living in town with an elderly woman to attend school during the winter months."
"Did your time in town influence you to become a doctor?"
Mack finished his food and sat back in his chair to concentrate on her.
“Yes, in a roundabout way. The town doctor stopped by often to check on Mrs. Kurtz and I observed how much better she felt after his visits. I eventually realized it was the visit, not the tonic, that made her feel better.”
“You also mentioned your father’s death as a reason to study medicine.”
“The interest in medicine had blossomed, but not being about to help my father was the turning point. If I’d known how to dig out the bullet, I know now I could have saved him.”
“I’m sorry for his death, but that tragedy lead to you helping many others,” Mack offered his kind words and Pansy wanted to reach for his hand.
Mack was such a wonderful man. How could she move to another place, or see him go?
“Just as I was destined to be a carpenter, you were destined to help others. No chance you’ll be a gold miner then?”
Pansy smiled at his silly profession for her. “I’ve had a rough start in Clear Creek, but I was meant to be a doctor. What did you want to talk about tonight, Mack?”
“Us. I started falling for you the first day I met you, and I think the feeling is mutual. Do you love me?” Mack asked.
“Mack, I—”
“Please wait to answer that.” Mack rose from his chair, walked back to the small table by the front door, and reached for something under his hat.
Mack laid a small Bible beside her right hand.
“Now answer me with your hand on the Bible. Do you love me?”
“Mack Reagan, you do not play fair!”
“Ha. Where do you think I learned to do this? Ma’s Bible was always in her hand if she thought we were up to no good. She’d thrust the book in front of us, and we knew we had to tell the truth.”
Pansy snorted a laugh thinking how Kaitlyn handled her sons when they were young. But she had to do something to keep six mischievous boys in line.
Mack nudged the Bible, so it touched Pansy’s fingertips.
“Doctor Pansy Walline? Do you love Mack Reagan?”
Pansy sighed, knowing she owed him the truth.
“Yes, but—”
“No buts, Pansy. We can make a marriage work for us. Daisy said…”
Mack stopped talking and his face turned beet red as he looked to the ceiling.
“Mack what’s wrong? What did Daisy say?”
Pansy pushed the Bible back toward Mack and waited as he cleared his throat. “Uh, Daisy said there is something I can use if you don’t want babies right away, or ever.”
Pansy chortled the laugh that tried to dislodge from her throat. She could imagine Mack’s reaction when Daisy brought that topic up to this big, burly man. Pansy bet Mack had hightailed it out of town for a while to let his face cool down.
Mack stood, lifted Pansy’s hand and shoved the Bible underneath her palm. He held her hand down on the book while staring in her eyes. “Now answer my question past the ‘but’, please.”
“Yes, Mr. Reagan, I love you. And yes, I know how a couple can be married without having babies right away.”
“But they still get to…they share…the bed, though, right?”
“Yes, the couple can still enjoy a loving relationship.”
Mack nodded and let out the breath he’d been holding in his barreled chest.
“But don’t you want a family, Mack? I can see you proudly sitting with a wife and a pew of children in church.”
“I don’t want a dozen kids like Dagmar and Cora Hamner have, but I’d like at least two or three children sitting with you and me. Surely, we can work it out to have a marriage and a small family with your profession.”
But what if I have a girl who’s just like me? Pansy thought, but couldn’t say out loud.
Then pounding on the front door made them look in that direction.
“Here’s another reason if would be hard to have a family. We’d be interrupted day and night.”
“
I can cook and take care of the children while you’re out on a call. And if I’m not available, my ma or sisters-in-law would be glad to help us out. I know it.”
Pansy sighed and answered the door. An anxious Angus had his fist raised to pound on her door again.
“Baby number two is ready to arrive. Daisy asked for you to come over,” Angus said, looking around her to see Mack.
“Just as well come over too, Mack, to meet your new niece or nephew.”
“The birth could be hours from now, Angus, so you’re welcome to wait here and eat some supper with Mack,” Pansy tried to calm the expectant father, and herself since she’d never helped with a human birth before.
“Ma’s been with Daisy for hours already and said to tell you that the baby’s head is crowning.”
Mack looked at Pansy in shock.
“Your first baby to deliver! You go with Angus and I’ll get your bag from downstairs,” Mack yelled as he pushed past them and descended the stairs two at a time.
“If Mack’s that excited about my baby, how’s he going to be with his own children?” Angus chuckled as he ushered Pansy out in the door and shut it behind her.
Tears threatened to cloud Pansy’s vision as she carefully descended the steps. That’s why Mack needed to marry someone else. She couldn’t give him lots of beautiful children like he deserved.
Chapter 15
Pansy stared into the adorable infant’s face. The baby girl’s eyes scanned the world for the first time in her life and stopped to stare at Pansy as she cleaned the baby and wrapped it in a soft blanket. The baby was perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes and Angus’ big nose.
“I want to hold my precious baby girl,” Daisy cooed as she reached for the baby. Daisy lay in bed, exhausted, sweat drenched, and beaming with love and joy for her newborn. The baby instantly turned her head at the sound of her mother’s voice.
I want one of these. The thought jumped into her head before she could stop it. Or maybe four, or six.
Pansy cleared her throat. “I’ll get Angus for you,” and left the room, needing to step away from the tender scene.
“You can go—” was all Pansy got out before Angus rushed past her to see his wife and new child.
“Do they have a new boy or girl?” Mack asked anxiously.
Pansy turned toward Mack and realized he comfortably held Daisy’s two-year-old son on his right hip. Mack would be a wonderful father someday.
Dare she wish to experience the joy of a family alongside him?
“A perfect little girl.”
“Thank you for welcoming the newest member to the Reagan family to the world.”
“Daisy did all the work, but I was glad to be there for the birth.”
Mack nodded, then kissed the sleepy toddler on the forehead. “You got a baby sister, Benji.”
Mack’s quiet stare at Pansy portrayed everything he was thinking. He wanted children so badly.
“I’m okay with us not having children if you’ll agree to marry me.”
What? That was the exact opposite of what Pansy thought Mack was thinking.
“I can love my nephews and nieces instead, Pansy, because I’m sure my brothers will have lots of children.”
“And here I was wondering how soon I could have a baby of my own,” Pansy confessed.
Mack held out his free arm and beckoned Pansy toward him. She willingly wrapped her arm around his waist and set her head on his shoulder.
“How about I take my grandson and you two take a walk?” Pastor suggested, surprising Pansy with his presence.
“Any place you’d suggest, Da?” Mack grinned.
“Yes. Go over to the church. Might need to do something over there,” Pastor winked as he walked into the kitchen with the toddler.
“Doctor Walline, are you free to take a walk?”
“I believe Daisy and the baby are fine for now. Where do you want to go?”
“Someplace special to ask you something special, if you’re ready,” Mack answered while giving her a tight hug. He let go, but held out his hand to Pansy. Was Pansy ready for the question she knew Mack wanted to ask her?
Yes, after witnessing the joy of birth and seeing the loving connection of Angus and Daisy, she knew she wanted that life with Mack.
***
The evening air was warm and humid as Mack led Pansy south from Angus and Daisy’s house. A full moon was rising, and stars twinkled in the sky overhead.
“I always wonder if I have any relatives in Ireland watching the same moon and stars,” Mack said as he pointed to the sky.
“Is there a possibility?”
“I suppose. I don’t remember my father at all, and my mother’s face is just a blurred shape. But there’s a chance I have cousins still in the old country.”
“Would you like to go back to Ireland sometime?”
“No. It’s a foreign place to me. I did go back to New Orleans one time out of curiosity. I didn’t remember any of the scenery, but the sea gulls reminded me of a lullaby our mother must have sang to us.”
“There’s light in the schoolhouse,” Pansy pointed out. “Was there something going on we missed?”
Mack stopped on the boardwalk as people left the building. He and Pansy were in the shadows, so most people didn’t see them, depending on the direction they were heading home.
“Did Daisy have a girl or boy?” Cullen asked when he spotted them.
“How’d you know the baby was coming?” Pansy asked.
“Ma’s been with Daisy since noon,” Cullen answered with a shrug.
“Why didn’t someone get me until an hour ago?” gasped Pansy.
“You were busy in your office and Ma could handle it. Plus, Mack was courting you with a fancy supper tonight,” Cullen grinned.
“Don’t worry your pretty head, Doc. It all worked out fine,” Mack encouraged Pansy with words and a squeeze of her hand.
Now Fergus and Iris joined the three of them.
“Boy or girl?” Fergus asked Pansy.
“How did this family keep a secret that Daisy’s baby was on the way?” Pansy asked Mack and his brothers.
Mack looked at Fergus, then Cullen, and the three of them snickered together.
“Doc, I told you Ma has ways to make us tell a secret, or keep a secret.”
“Well, at least I was there for the birth of Daisy’s baby girl,” Pansy said, answering Fergus’ question.
“The first Reagan girl!” Iris exclaimed. “She’s going to be so spoiled by her uncles.” Iris squeezed Fergus’ arm and looked up to her husband with love in her eyes. Mack wondered when they’d have their first child.
Would he be jealous if all his brothers had babies and he didn’t? No. Mack had told Pansy the truth. He could love his brother’s children if he didn’t have his own. He’d live with the marriage vows and do whatever it took to preserve a marriage with Pansy.
“What was going on in the schoolhouse tonight?” Pansy asked and looked around at their small group.
Fergus looked at Pansy, then Mack, and answered, “the council called a special meeting this evening about your employment, Doctor Walline.”
“Why now? My probation isn’t up yet.”
Cullen rubbed his chin with his right hand. “I might have mentioned to Councilman Taylor that both of you have received letters from other towns, offering employment. I also happened to mention it to Lyle Elison, who mentioned to his sister, Cora, who mentioned it to Cate Connely.”
Would wonders never cease. His uptight, righteous postmaster brother had spread a little gossip for Pansy’s benefit.
“But they called this meeting without me knowing about it?” Pansy demanded.
Cullen coughed and cleared his throat. “We told Councilman Taylor you were busy with Daisy, and couldn’t attend the meeting,”
“Another one of Ma’s directives?” Mack asked.
Cullen did his signature shoulder shrug.
“So, what happened?” Pansy’s hand trembled in
Mack’s and he squeezed it to calm her down.
“The short version? Tolbert asked the council to vote you out of town. But Isaac Connely stood and reminded the council that he bought the lots, and built the downtown to help the town grow and improve. Lyle Elison reminded townspeople his parents sponsored Doctor Walline for the town benefit also.”
“Were Connely and Elison trying to force the issue that they should oversee the decision then?” Pansy asked.
“No. Just pointing out the fact, in a subtle way, that having Doctor Walline in town helped everyone,” Fergus answered.
“Several people spoke up and said they were glad you were here, Doctor Walline, and insisted you’d given them diligent care and compassion.” Iris added.
“Half those people probably felt guilty they hadn’t paid me, so thought they better speak up,” Pansy muttered so no one outside their discussion heard her. “And the verdict? Should I be prepared to be run out of town, after being tarred and feathered first?”
“Absolutely not. The council voted to rescind the probation period after a show of townspeople’s hands,” Fergus assured Pansy
“The only two people who voted against you were Mr. and Mrs. Tolbert,” Cullen added.
Of course, the trouble makers would vote against Doctor Walline. Hopefully Pansy could cut his hair, because Mack wouldn’t be patronizing Tolbert’s Barbershop anytime soon.
Time to get away from his brothers and ask Pansy a very important question.
“You all go on to Angus and Daisy’s house to see the baby. We’re going to walk a bit before going back,” Mack suggested to his brothers.
Iris got Mack’s hint. “Come on you two. Escort me to meet the new Reagan.” His brothers laughed and extended their arms out to Iris. She placed her hands in their elbows and they left happily, talking amongst themselves.
Mack turned to Pansy and extended his elbow. “Shall we walk while we talk about our future? I assume you want to stay on as Clear Creek’s doctor?”
Grooms with Honor Series, Books 4-6 Page 10
