Nailed

by Jasinda Wilder

  I laugh at her, and pat her on the head with a heaping amount of condescending sarcasm. “Ohhh, Nova.”

  “I’ll break your hand,” she says, glaring at me.

  I just laugh all the harder, and then continue my story. “So anyway, admitting we’re in love was step one. And then my crazy ex-husband shows up…” I hold up a hand. “Wait, let me go back. Ryder came over and stayed the night, which was the next big step, because I’ve never let anyone stay the night, because I didn’t want to confuse Nate. So. Ryder stays the night, and we’re all in love and everything, and it’s great. We wake up and I make us breakfast, and the greatness and wonderfulness and happiness continues.”

  “And then your crazy ex shows up?” This is Nina, James’s older daughter.

  I nod. “And then my crazy ex shows up.” I sigh. “He showed up at six o’clock in the morning, demanding to know whose truck is in my driveway, and he was absolutely whacked out. Like, totally nuts. Shouting all sorts of craziness and making no sense, and being jealous, mainly because I am, according to him, hotter now than when we were married, and apparently that’s just not fair.”

  “Does he realize the reason you let yourself get…” Audra trails off, hunting for a nice way to put it.

  “Fat,” I finish for her. “Let’s not sugarcoat it, Audra—I was fat.”

  Audra rolls a hand. “It was his fault, is my point. And you getting in shape so you look all sexy was because you finally found the motivation within yourself to take control of your life, which you’d lost because of him.”

  I pat her hand. “Yes, Audra, you know that, and I know that, and anyone with any kind of sense whatsoever knows that, but no, Paul did not seem to know that.”

  Ella, at the farthest end of the line of pedicures, pipes up. “Why did Ryder have to spend the night? Was it a sleepover? Papa says sleepovers are dumb because no one ever sleeps and someone always ends up wanting to go home early and they always suck donkey waffles.”

  We all snicker, and I blush. “Ummm. It was a sleepover, yes.”

  Nina, older and wiser, leans closer to her sister. “It’s a grown-up, thing, Ella. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

  Ella sticks her tongue out. “Oh, like you understand any more than I do. You’re not a grown-up neither!”

  “I’m more grown up than you are! Adults having a sleepover is where babies come from.”

  Imogen coughs to cover her laughter, while the rest of us try to keep straight faces.

  “But Papa told me babies come from the baby gnomes. He said they have a workshop at the South Pole, and that’s what Santa does the rest of the year when he’s not doing presents.”

  Nina howls in laughter. “Papa just wasn’t ready to teach you about sex.”

  Ella frowns. “I thought that sounded kinda dumb.” She glances at Nina. “What’s sex? Is it like kissing?”

  “OKAY,” Nova says. “That’s about enough of this conversation. Nina, Ella, I think this is something you should talk to your dad about, later, alone.”

  “Yeah, Ella,” Nina says.

  Nova arches an eyebrow. “I mean you, too, actually.”

  Nina rolls her eyes, but then pulls a cell phone out of her pocket. “Dad gave me a cell phone in case we needed him, and he put Netflix on it for us.”

  “Can we watch She-Ra?” Ella says. “I love that show!”

  Within a few minutes, the girls are huddled around the cell phone watching a show together.

  “How did Ryder handle your ex showing up like that?” Nova asks, returning us to the conversation.

  I grin. “Well, let’s just say that I discovered he has a protective side, and that I find it very, very attractive.”

  Audra leans close, lowering her voice. “Men acting protective is equal parts annoying and sexy. Franco gets like that sometimes, and I’m never sure if I want to slap him or fuck him.”

  I giggle. “Speak for yourself. I know I wanted one of those, and it wasn’t to slap him, I’ll tell you that much.”

  “And?” Audra asks. “Did you?”

  “My son was in the room, so no.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “I did later, though. Twice—once of which was in my bathtub.”

  Audra covers her mouth to stifle a shriek. “Oh, you dirty girl! In the tub?”

  I cackle and nod. “Super messy, though—water got everywhere, and it took us fifteen minutes and all my bath sheets to clean it up.”

  “Worth it, though, I bet,” Audra says.

  I blush, nodding. “Hell, yes! So worth it.” I sigh. “But, back to the point—after Paul finally left, Nate suggested we just move in with Ryder. And I was like, ha ha, no, but nice try. It’s a little soon and also, we can’t just invite ourselves to live with Ryder. And in the middle of this, Ryder’s like, well, actually, I’m on Nate’s side. Like, come live with me.”

  Imogen reaches past Audra to grab my hand. “Were you totally freaked out?”

  I shake my head. “I should have been, honestly, but I wasn’t, somehow. I mean, it’s super fast, but this whole thing with us has been fast, which is part of why it was so scary. But once I sort of just accepted that it’s real and it’s happening and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, it got easier to just go with it.”

  Nova is frowning at me. “I mean, it’s not as crazy to me as if you were telling us you were gonna marry him, but it’s still crazy to move in together this soon.”

  I shrug. “I know. But it just makes sense to me, somehow. I don’t know. This whole thing with Ryder went from zero to sixty pretty much instantly. To hear Ryder tell it, it was love at first sight for him, which was the whole reason he tried to stop talking to me.”

  “Well, that does make a certain amount of sense,” Audra says. “If you meet someone and fall in insta-love, I can see how you may want to try to run from it. Love is scary as fuck.”

  “Watch your language, young lady,” Nina says, without looking away from the phone.

  Audra frowns at her. “Who are you calling a young lady?”

  Nina giggles. “Sorry. You watch your language, old lady.”

  Audra nods primly. “Much better, thank you.”

  Nina just shakes her head. “You’re so weird. I called Papa old man once, and I think his head almost exploded.”

  Audra laughs, a loud guffaw. “Oh, honey. Something you should learn while you’re young—men have very fragile egos. Your papa is probably very sensitive to the fact that he’s not a spring chicken anymore.”

  Nina glances at Audra. “What’s a spring chicken?”

  Audra tilts her head to one side. “Um, you know, I have no idea where that phrase comes from. I just know it means he’s not exactly young anymore.”

  Nina nods seriously. “I caught him plucking gray hairs out of his beard the other day.” She shrugs. “I told him women like the gray. Grandma was talking about how sexy Anderson Cooper is, and his hair is all silver.”

  “Ooooohh, hon-EY,” Audra drawls. “Anderson is all kinds of fine. I think James could pull off the silver fox look.” She glances at Nova. “What do you think, Nova?”

  Nova just gives Audra a death glare. “You’re lucky there are kids around, that’s what I think.”

  Audra throws her hands up in the air. “You have the worst case of denial I’ve ever seen, you know that?”

  Nina is watching this exchange very closely. “Papa likes you, you know,” she says to Nova.

  Nova’s eyes narrow, and she shoots another glare at Audra. “You put her up to this, didn’t you?”

  Audra lifts her hands palms out. “No! I don’t know what she’s talking about.” She tilts her head to one side. “Well, I do, in that I know for a fact James likes you, but I don’t know how Nina knows.”

  “If Papa didn’t like Nova, he wouldn’t have asked her specifically to keep an eye on us. Normally, the uncles and Grandma and Grandpa are the only ones Papa lets watch us. But when he brought Ella and me here, he specifically asked Nova to keep an eye on us. It’s, l
ike, a sign.”

  Nova rolls her eyes. “Or, I was the first one here, and the only person available to watch you until everyone else got here.”

  Nina grins at Nova. “It’s okay, you know.”

  Nova frowns, perplexed by the seeming non sequitur. “What’s okay?”

  “You and Papa. You can date him. You have my permission.”

  Nova just blinks, remaining silent for a long time. “Wow. Well…thanks, I guess. That’s not happening, though.”

  “Why not?” Nina asks. “Maybe if you and Papa dated, Papa wouldn’t be so cranky anymore. He used to be nicer. Now he’s a butt all the time, and it’s super annoying.” She smirks. “Maybe it would make you nicer too.”

  Nova just huffs in disgust, opens and closes her mouth several times, and then gets up out of the spa chair, her pedicure half-finished, and walks barefoot out of the salon, the pink foam toe separators still wedged between her toes.

  Nina is confused. “Why did she leave? Did I say something wrong? I was just teasing her.”

  Audra smiles at the girl. “I know you were, honey. It’s just that Auntie Nova is kind of sensitive about your dad. We probably shouldn’t tease her about it anymore.”

  “Why is she sensitive?” Nina asks, and then pauses to think. “Is it because she likes him?”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure,” Audra says. “I just know she is sensitive, and we probably should respect that.”

  A few minutes later, Nova comes back in and takes her seat, apologizing to the nail technicians—none of whom speak more than a few words of English, and she just smiles and nods at Nina.

  She sits in silence for a minute, and then sweeps a glance at us. “Can you all please just accept the fact that nothing is going to happen between me and James?”

  Nina rests her head against Nova’s arm. “I’m sorry, Nova.”

  “Me too,” Audra says. “I like to push buttons, and I don’t always know when to stop. So, I’m sorry—I won’t bring it up again.”

  Nova sighs and waves her hand. “You don’t need to apologize, you just…you all need to respect the fact that I have my reasons for not dating James, and that I’m not comfortable sharing those reasons right now.”

  “Are we done getting pampered yet?” Ella asks, apropos of nothing. “I’m hungry.”

  “Same!” Nina says. “When do we go to the restaurant?”

  “Actually our reservation is in thirty minutes,” Nova says. “We should probably wrap it up here and head over.”

  So, once we’re all finished with our pedicures, we pile into Nova’s SUV and head to the restaurant. We timed it so the boys would get done with their paintball game about an hour before the reservation, so they’d have time to get cleaned up, which means they should be arriving in the next few minutes. While we wait for them, Nova fusses with the decorations, and Imogen has the waitstaff bring the cake in, along with a large knife to cut it with.

  And then, five minutes early, Nina, who has been posted at the entrance of the private room as a lookout, announces that they’re here.

  “Are we shouting surprise?” Nova asks. “I just realized we didn’t really discuss what we’d do when they get here.”

  Imogen suddenly looks nervous. “I—um—yes! Let’s shout surprise. It’ll be fun. He may have a heart attack, but it’ll be fine, right? Right.”

  Audra laughs, nudging Imogen’s arm. “You look like you’re about to puke. Is that nerves or morning sickness?”

  “Both,” Imogen says.

  “They’re here! They’re coming!” Nina whisper-shouts.

  “Okay, okay,” Imogen whispers, flapping her hands. “He’s going to be happy, right?” she asks no one in particular.

  Audra hugs her. “He’s going to be thrilled! The man loves you so much it’s gross.”

  Imogen takes a few deep breaths, and then waves us all over. “Okay, the men walk in, and we all shout surprise. Ready?”

  All six of us cluster together in the middle of the room, with the girls wedged in the middle between Nova and Imogen. We hear their voices, laughing and trading insults, with Nate’s smaller, higher voice as a counterpoint; heavy boots clomp on the floor.

  The door to the private room opens, and I hear Imogen whisper— “One…two…three!”

  And then, in perfect unison, we all shout, “SURPRISE!”

  All of the men are stunned, and file slowly into the room, taking in the decorations.

  Franco is the first to recover. “Um…what? Who—who is the surprise for?”

  James is eyeing the decorations. “What’s with all the baby stuff?”

  Ryder eyes me, quickly putting two and two together and looking at me with a somewhat panicked expression. I can’t help laughing, then, and that’s the cue for everyone to laugh.

  “We decided to play a little game,” Nova says, trying to cover the fact that we obviously didn’t think this out very well. “It’s called, surprise-surprise, where you have to guess what the surprise is and who it’s for!”

  Jesse is the only one who hasn’t reacted—his eyes are on Imogen. “Jen?” he whispers, using a shortened form of Imogen’s name I’ve never heard even Audra use.

  Imogen takes a step toward him, and everyone goes quiet, parting to make way for her to walk up to Jesse. “I guess we didn’t think this all the way through, did we, ladies?” she says, laughing quietly.

  “What’s going on?” Jesse asks. Big, gruff, rugged, with shaggy, unkempt black hair and a thick black beard, both shot through with hints of silver, he’s the essence of rugged masculinity, but in this moment, Jesse is subdued, quiet, and unsure.

  Imogen takes his hand and leads him over to the table where the cake is, stops him to stand in front of it. She gazes up at him. “Surprise?”

  He looks at the cake, and reads it out loud, slowly. “Congratulations, Daddy…” A long, silent, tense moment, and then he looks back down at Imogen, who is visibly shaking. “What are you saying, Jen?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh, thank fuck,” I hear Ryder mutter. I laugh under my breath, and shoot him a look, and he raises his hands. “Sorry, sorry.”

  Not quite as tall as Jesse or James, nor as heavily muscled, Franco is thin and hard and blond, with sharp, handsome features. He nudges Ryder, muttering quietly: “You said what I was thinking, Ride. Thank fuck!”

  “Stop it, you two. Have some reverence for the moment!” Audra hisses.

  James is the biggest of the group, standing six-six and built like a grizzly bear ready for winter—heavy with thick, hard, bulging muscle, and short brown hair neatly combed to one side, and a thick brown beard. He hasn’t said much after his initial question, and I also notice he’s studiously not looking Nova’s way.

  Jesse is still silent, absorbing Imogen’s pronouncement.

  She bites her lip, and then reaches up to grab Jesse’s big shoulder. “Jesse? Say something.”

  “You’re…pregnant?”

  She nods. “Yes. Six weeks.”

  Jesse is blinking and looking a little pale. “I…you…” He sways on his feet. “We…”

  Imogen surges forward, grabbing at him. “Jesse?”

  Ryder, Franco, and James all spring into action, just in time to catch Jesse as he faints.

  He’s only out for a few seconds, and then comes to, shaking his head. “What—what happened?”

  James claps him on the back as the three of them heave Jesse back onto his feet. “You fainted.”

  Jesse holds his head with both hands. “The fuck I did.”

  Ryder and Franco are both laughing so hard they’re holding on to each other. “Holy shit, he actually fainted!” Franco says.

  “Watch your profanity, Uncle Franco!” Ella shouts.

  “Sorry, Ella-bear,” Franco says. “But Uncle Jesse swore first.”

  “I know, but he has an excuse,” Ella says. “He just found out he’s gonna be a daddy. I’ll let it slide this one time.”

  Jesse’s head swi
vels to stare at Ella, and then at Imogen. “I’m gonna be a daddy.” He says this as if trying to absorb what the words mean. “I’m—I’m gonna be a daddy?”

  Imogen is sniffling, trying not to cry. She nods, wiping at her eyes. “Yeah, honey. I’m pregnant. You’re gonna be a daddy.”

  Jesse shoots to his feet and lurches over to Imogen, putting his hand on her belly. “Is it a boy or a girl? When are you due? Should you sit down?”

  Imogen laughs, tears falling freely now. “Jesse, Jesse—slow down. Relax, baby.” She cups his cheek. “I won’t know if it’s a girl or boy until about eighteen or twenty weeks. I’m due in April, and no, I don’t need to sit down.”

  “I think I need to sit down,” Jesse says, and slumps heavily into a chair. He looks up at Imogen. “Maybe this is a stupid question, but…how did this happen?”

  Ryder claps him on the shoulder. “Well you see, Jesse, when a man loves a woman, they—”

  Jesse whacks him. “Shut up, moron. I know how, I was there.” He stands up and gathers her in his arm. “I just…I didn’t think you…you know…could.”

  She shrugs, sniffling. “I didn’t either. I guess I could, obviously.” She searches his face. “Jesse, are—are you…are you upset?”

  Jesse shakes his head as if trying to shake away confusion. “Upset? Fuck no!” He glances at Ella apologetically. “Sorry, Ella-bear. Heck no, I mean. I’m just stunned.”

  “I was so scared to tell you,” Imogen whispers. “I wanted to make it special, and I also needed moral support, so we decided on this party.”

  “Scared? Why on earth would you be scared?” Jesse asks.

  She shrugs. “I just…I wasn’t sure how you’d feel. I know I’m not—I mean, neither of us are exactly young, and we never really talked about kids…”

  Jesse touches her lips with a finger. “I didn’t think it was possible to be even happier than being with you makes me, Jen…” He kisses her softly. “And then you tell me this, and I discover it is possible after all.”

  She lifts up and kisses him, deeply and passionately. “I love you, Jesse.”

  He pulls away, rubbing the back of his neck. “You kinda messed up my surprise, you know.”