The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf

by Martin Millar

  Markus was grateful for his mother’s words. “If we find the Guild in London—” he began.

  “That’s quite different,” said Verasa, interrupting him. “You have responsibilities as Thane. It’s not your job to travel to England and fight.”

  “I think it is.”

  “It’s not,” said the Mistress of the Werewolves firmly.

  In the car behind, Decembrius was being consoled by his mother Lucia.

  “Kalix was never a suitable girlfriend, Decembrius. You know she’s unstable.”

  Decembrius had arrived in Scotland depressed, and the depression hadn’t lessened. He was surprised to find himself talking with his mother about relationships, but Decembrius’s disappointed love seemed to need an audience. Only the night before he’d been through his whole sorry tale with Beauty and Delicious, yet here he was again, talking about Kalix, this time with his mother.

  “She’s not unstable,” said Decembrius. “She just has some problems. With anxiety, mainly. And eating. And a bit of self-harming when she gets depressed. And she’s quite prone to violence, I suppose.” He sighed. “I suppose you could call her unstable.”

  “Don’t forget the laudanum,” said Lucia. She had been horrified to learn her son was going out with Kalix and was delighted it was over. They sat in silence as the car drove up the long winding incline that led through the hills. Decembrius stared morosely out of the window. His mother didn’t like to see him so unhappy.

  “You’ll get over her soon enough. Don’t you meet a lot of girls in London?”

  Decembrius felt embarrassed. “Not really,” he said.

  His mother laughed good-naturedly. “Don’t lie. I know you’ve always had plenty of girlfriends. There’s nothing wrong with that. You should enjoy yourself. Just meet some nice girls, you’ll forget Kalix soon enough.”

  Decembrius was surprised that his mother knew he met a lot of girls. He’d thought his life away from the castle was sufficiently private for his habits not to be known. Apparently he was wrong. He was more surprised to learn that his mother didn’t object. At least she wasn’t nagging him to meet a respectable werewolf girl and settle down, as mothers from the castle were prone to do. While he appreciated his mother’s support, it didn’t cheer him. He thought of Kalix constantly and was tormented by the thought of her with another boyfriend. Decembrius was quite sure she’d started seeing someone else; whether this was because of his powers of seeing, or just because of his jealous imagination, he couldn’t tell.

  CHAPTER 67

  When Moonglow arrived home to find Kalix, Vex and Daniel all looking pleased with themselves, yet strangely guilty at the same time, her first thought was that they might have raided the household kitty and used the money to buy beer.

  “Why is everybody smiling?”

  “It’s nothing, really,” said Daniel.

  “And why are you looking embarrassed?”

  “Embarrassed?” said Daniel. “I’m not looking embarrassed. Kalix, am I looking embarrassed?”

  “No,” said Kalix. “Neither am I.”

  Kalix buried her face in a book that Moonglow was certain she couldn’t read. She put her shiny vinyl bag on the table.

  “What’s going on?” she demanded. “Why is everyone smiling? What have you done?”

  “We’re all going to a ball!” said Vex, almost exploding with excitement. “Kalix and me are going to be models for Thrix and then we’ve got to seduce people and find secrets! We’re going to be spies!”

  Moonglow could make nothing of this. She turned to Kalix. “You’re going to model for Thrix?”

  Kalix made a face. “I have to. Dominil talked me into it. It’s important werewolf stuff.”

  “Is it dangerous? Should I worry?”

  “I don’t think Dominil would have asked Daniel to go if it was dangerous.”

  Moonglow froze. “Daniel’s going too?”

  Daniel nodded and flushed quite a bright shade of red.

  “So what about me?” said Moonglow.

  There was no reply. Moonglow’s flatmates all stared at their shoes. They’d known this was going to be awkward. When Dominil had outlined her plan to them on the phone, Vex was immediately enthusiastic. Kalix had been more reluctant, not wanting anything to do with her sister. On further explanation from Dominil, she’d agreed. She couldn’t turn down a request to take action against the Avenaris Guild.

  As for Daniel, Dominil told him plainly that while he wasn’t perfect for the part, they’d decided he was the best male available. He knew all about werewolves and Fire Elementals already, and none of the elementals they were hoping to spy on would know who he was. Thrix had reluctantly admitted that while Daniel was not ideal model material, she could probably dress him in some outfit that wouldn’t completely destroy her reputation. Daniel was so gratified by the prospect of being a model that he barely noticed the insult and agreed immediately.

  “You mean everyone is going except me?” cried Moonglow, wounded by her flatmates’ disloyalty. “Whose idea was that?”

  “It just worked out that way,” said Daniel. “You weren’t deliberately excluded.”

  Vex beamed with pleasure. Kalix still looked embarrassed. Daniel struggled to make himself stop blushing by dint of willpower.

  “So you’re a model now?” said Moonglow, staring at him.

  “Stop looking at me like it’s the most ridiculous idea in the world. They need a man who knows about werewolves and elementals. I fit the bill.” Daniel sneaked a look at himself in the mirror. “Probably I should get in shape.”

  Moonglow was irate. “I could model as well as you.” She glared at everyone. “Is this because I’m not as skinny as Vex and Kalix? Did you all decide I was too fat?”

  “Of course not,” said Daniel, and tried to sound more placatory, knowing that they were now straying into dangerous territory. “It’s just that St. Amelia’s Ball has limited numbers and strict security. Thrix can only use four models, that’s their limit. No one else can even get in. Kalix and Vex were natural choices. This is all to do with werewolves and Fire Elementals, remember. That’s why Dominil’s the other model.”

  “You’re not a werewolf or a Fire Elemental,” said Moonglow.

  “But I am male.”

  “Why do they need a man?”

  “For seducing the women, of course,” said Vex. “You know, duchesses and people like that.”

  “You’re meant to seduce duchesses?” Moonglow only just managed to avoid saying something very cutting about Daniel’s powers of seduction.

  “It’s going to be great!” said Vex, tactlessly. “Just like Dangerous something or other.”

  “Dangerous Liaisons?” Moonglow was incredulous and even more annoyed. Dangerous Liaisons was one of her favorite books, and she was quite sure none of the others had read it. “Is Dominil meant to seduce someone? That doesn’t seem very likely.”

  Moonglow swept an angry gaze over her three flatmates. “Doesn’t seem very likely for any of you. It’s not fair that I can’t go!”

  “I’m sorry Moonglow,” said Daniel. “But we didn’t make the plan, it was Dominil and Thrix.” Daniel sneaked a look at himself and fingered his long fringe.

  “Will you stop looking in the mirror,” said Moonglow crossly. “Your hair looks exactly the same as it always does. I’m really annoyed at being left out. Well, if I can’t come with you I’ll just buy my own ticket.”

  Daniel looked uncomfortable. “You can’t. There are no tickets for sale. Apparently it’s quite exclusive. Invitation only.”

  Moonglow gave an exasperated grunt. She grabbed her bag from the table and marched up the stairs in a very bad mood.

  “Well, that was uncomfortable,” said Kalix eventually.

  “I knew she’d be jealous,” said Daniel. “But it’s not our fault. Do you think I should get a haircut? I want to look my best.” He flexed his arm muscle and looked disappointed. “I really have to do some exercise.”

&n
bsp; “Why’s Moonglow so angry?” asked Kalix. “It’s not that great a thing to go to.”

  Daniel shrugged. “Maybe she thinks I left her out to spite her. You know, after . . .” His voice tailed off.

  “When I’m a model, do I get to keep the clothes?” asked Vex.

  “I think they get auctioned off for charity,” said Daniel.

  “Oh. Can I keep them after that?”

  “No, Vex, all the clothes get sold at an auction.”

  “But after that, can I keep them?”

  “No, they . . .” Daniel sighed. “Yes, you get to keep them.”

  “Brilliant!” cried Vex. “I love being a model. Hey, Kalix, we can keep the clothes.”

  “No, we can’t,” said Kalix. “They get auctioned off.”

  “Why does everyone keep saying that?” demanded Vex. “I clearly heard Daniel say we can keep them.”

  Kalix was weary of company and loud voices. She stood up to leave but halted at the foot of the stairs and turned to Daniel.

  “Maybe if Moonglow is this upset about you going off somewhere without her, it means she likes you more than she admits.”

  Kalix went upstairs, leaving Daniel looking thoughtful.

  “I better get bleaching my hair,” said Vex. “It’s got to be looking just right. I’m going to be a great spy. And seduc—seduc—what was that word again?”

  “Seductress.”

  “I’ll be a great seductress!”

  Upstairs in her room, Moonglow was angry. Rather than brood, she decided to take action.

  I am a woman of resources, she told herself. We’ll see if they can all go without me. She sat down at her computer and started searching for everything she could find about St. Amelia’s Ball, quite determined that her flatmates were not going to leave her out.

  “I’m not playing Cinderella. If they’re all going to the ball, I’m going too.”

  CHAPTER 68

  The next day Kalix sat quietly in the back of Daniel’s car as he drove toward Thrix’s offices in Soho. The prospect of working closely with her older sister made her both depressed and anxious. Kalix knew Thrix hated her for killing Captain Easterly. Kalix herself had never truly forgiven Thrix for sleeping with Gawain, the great love of Kalix’s youthful life. It was bound to make for an uncomfortable experience.

  Traffic moved slowly as always. It was a very hot day and Daniel had opened all the windows. Kalix stared glumly at her legs. She was wearing a pair of jeans, once black, now colorless. She also wore a dark gray T-shirt and carried a dark jacket, shapeless and faded. Kalix didn’t like the idea of being put into colorful clothes. Too much color made her uncomfortable.

  Kalix rubbed her thigh absentmindedly. She could feel the faint remnants of long scars where she’d cut herself. She’d had the urge to do it before leaving, but she could hardly turn up at Thrix’s office with blood seeping from her leg. Even if it was hidden from view, her werewolf sister would smell it.

  Vex turned around in her seat and shouted, “This is so exciting! We’re going to be models!”

  The young Fire Elemental’s enthusiasm had reached unprecedented levels. “And then we get to be spies and secret agents! Just like Tokyo Top Pop Boom Boom Girl.”

  She began waving her hands in the air, pretending to do kung fu. “Bam! Pow! Take that!”

  “I’m sure we’re not meant to fight anyone,” said Kalix.

  “You never know!” said Vex. “Sometimes spies get discovered and have to fight their way out. Bam! Pow!”

  Kalix almost smiled. Agrivex was the least violent person she’d ever encountered.

  “Almost there,” said Daniel as they neared the underground car park in Soho. He was almost as excited as Vex but did realize Kalix was nervous. As they left the car, he took her arm in a gesture of support.

  “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. I know you don’t get on well with Thrix, but it’s like there’s a truce while we do this. She won’t say anything nasty to you.”

  “She’d better not,” said Kalix.

  “And you’ll be pleased when we find the hunters’ headquarters.”

  Kalix didn’t reply. She wasn’t used to discussing private werewolf business with humans, even Daniel and Moonglow. She wasn’t sure if they realized what would follow if the MacRinnalchs did find the Guild’s headquarters. There would be a battle in which many hunters and werewolves would die. Kalix didn’t intend to explain it in detail.

  The pavement of Wardour Street was busy, crowded in places with drinkers standing outside pubs. A few diners sat outside small Italian restaurants, crammed into the tiny space available between the front of the restaurant and the pavement. Thrix’s fashion house was situated on the upper floors of a rather anonymous gray commercial block between a wine shop and a Thai restaurant. The ground floor was occupied by an insurance company. Beside their main door was another door with a neat list of tenants and a series of buzzers.

  “I remember the first time I came here,” said Daniel. “Moonglow had to drag me.” He looked at Kalix. “She was worried about you, after we first met you. It was smart of her to work out that Thrix was your sister.” He looked thoughtful. “I wish Moonglow could have come with us.”

  He pressed the buzzer and they made their way up to the first floor.

  “I forgot how glamorous the receptionists were,” he whispered as they walked along the corridor. “Makes me feel shabby.”

  “You are shabby,” said Vex cheerfully. “Don’t worry, they’ll sort you out here. Probably give you some clothes that attract girls. Hey, Kalix, maybe they’ll dress you up in something colorful.”

  The door at the end of the corridor opened. Thrix was waiting for them; behind her were Malveria and Dominil.

  Kalix and Thrix stared at each other. Neither of them seemed able to manage a civilized greeting. The Fire Queen banished the slight awkwardness by crossing to Daniel and embracing him warmly.

  “You see, Thrix? Daniel is not so unsuitable as you claimed. Dominil was quite wrong to call him flabby.”

  Daniel blushed as soon as Malveria embraced him, as she knew he would.

  “I’ve been doing some exercise,” he mumbled.

  “Excellent, Daniel. I believe you can manage the role of model and even seducer, should it come to that. It will be dark in the ballroom, and the ladies will all have been drinking.”

  “Are you modeling too?” Vex asked Dominil.

  “I am,” said Dominil.

  “You’ll be a good model. Very glowery.”

  “Glowery?”

  “You know. Glaring at the audience like you hate them. Just like you normally look, really.”

  Thrix and her assistant Ann began to take measurements of their prospective models. It was normally a task that would have been delegated to junior staff, but Thrix had decided it was wiser to do it herself. There was no chance of Agrivex being discreet, and she didn’t want her designers to be on the end of some alarming story about werewolves and Fire Elementals.

  Kalix hadn’t spoken since entering the building. “I don’t want anything too colorful,” she said suddenly.

  “Pardon?” said Thrix.

  “I don’t want anything too colorful. I don’t like bright clothes.”

  “Models don’t get to choose,” said Thrix.

  Kalix and Thrix glared at each other again.

  “Just don’t give me anything too bright,” said Kalix.

  CHAPTER 69

  Moonglow was determined to go to the ball. She had waved her flatmates away cheerfully, faking good humor, but the moment they were gone she began to put her plan into action. She’d spent the previous evening researching St. Amelia’s Ball and now had a good idea of what kind of event it was. She’d looked at pictures on websites and seen a lot of wealthy-looking young men and women enjoying themselves, both at the ball and the fashion show. Moonglow saw that the young women modeling the clothes were not professionals. Vex and Kalix would look just as good, and probably better.


  But so would I, thought Moonglow, and once more felt annoyed about being excluded.

  One thing she had been unable to find out was how tickets were obtained. They didn’t seem to be on sale anywhere. As far as she could judge, tickets were simply given out to people who had the right contacts.

  They don’t want people like me barging in uninvited. So how can I barge in uninvited?

  King’s College had its fair share of wealthy students. Moonglow considered all the people she’d met, and wondered who might be suitable. One name stood out—Eleanor, with whom she shared several classes.

  She’s always away on expensive holidays. I remember giving her my notes on Sumerian law when she was late back from a skiing trip.

  Moonglow knew her well enough for it not to be strange for her to call, but she hesitated. Might it be insulting to call her up unexpectedly and start asking about St. Amelia’s Ball?

  She might think I’m making assumptions about her being rich, thought Moonglow. Some people are sensitive about that sort of thing. She might think I’m accusing her of being posh.

  Deciding that it would be all right providing she didn’t actually use the word “posh,” Moonglow made the call. Eleanor answered right away.

  “Hello, Eleanor, am I disturbing you, are you on a skiing trip or anything?”

  Moonglow winced. She hadn’t meant to say that. Eleanor assured Moonglow she wasn’t on a skiing trip. She was at home, and sounded friendly enough. Still fearing that it might sound insulting, Moonglow launched into her request.

  “I really want to go to St. Amelia’s Ball, but I don’t know how to get a ticket. Can you help me?”

  Eleanor laughed. “St. Amelia’s Ball? Why on earth do you want to go to that?”

  “I’m trying to meet this guy who’s probably going to be there,” said Moonglow, who knew this was an acceptable excuse for almost anything.

  “I see,” said Eleanor. “Why did you decide to ask me?”