The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf

by Martin Millar

  Queen Dithean strode up to Dominil. Noting Dominil’s height, the Queen had made herself a few inches taller than normal. She looked the werewolf in the eye, and smiled faintly.

  “Dominil MacRinnalch. I saw you often when you were young, playing in my woods. Or rather, standing in the snow.”

  Dominil nodded. “I did come here as a child.”

  “Yet never to visit me.”

  “No.”

  “Did Thrix MacRinnalch tell you the way?”

  “No. I learned how to find you from an old book in the castle library.”

  “Really? I had no idea I was in your books.”

  “A past caretaker, Fenella MacRinnalch, wrote a short treatise about the fairies of Colburn Woods in the nineteenth century.”

  “Fenella? I remember her. She was a pleasant werewolf.” The Queen was still smiling faintly. Not threatening, but not welcoming either. “I have heard much about you, Dominil.”

  From the Fairy Queen’s tone, Dominil was unable to tell if that was good or not. “I’ve come to ask for your help.”

  “Of course. Why else come now, when you’ve never cared to visit me before?”

  “I acknowledge that,” said Dominil. “My interests have lain in other directions.”

  “You’re not the first MacRinnalch to visit in recent times, needing help, after neglecting me.” The Queen’s faint smile disappeared. “It is hardly flattering.”

  “I apologize for the slight,” said Dominil calmly. “But my not visiting you was not out of disrespect, rather it was from having no wish to bother you for no reason.”

  Again there was some giggling from the trees.

  “My young fairies are intrigued by your white hair. It amuses them. So tell me, what help do you require?”

  “It concerns the werewolf hunters. I’m sure Thrix has told you of our need.”

  “I already helped.”

  “And your help was excellent, Queen Dithean. But we need more. We need a way to enter the Guild’s house quickly. Otherwise we’ll be defeated and many werewolves will die.”

  The Queen studied Dominil keenly. “Your own death does not trouble you, does it?”

  “No. But I want to defeat the Guild.”

  “Death didn’t seem to trouble Thrix either,” said the Queen. “It would have at one time. But she’s changed. I can sense another werewolf in your family, far away. Kalix. She’s looking forward to dying. Perhaps there’s some problem in the MacRinnalchs, Dominil, that you should all be so unconcerned about dying. Perhaps you should deal with that before fighting the Guild.”

  “I’m sure there are many MacRinnalchs looking forward to long, happy lives. A few may not be. We really need your help.”

  The Fairy Queen stepped away, and looked toward the trees. A hedgehog peeped out from the undergrowth but, seeing Dominil, withdrew swiftly.

  “I can’t give you sorcery to be used outside these woods. I’ve already done it once, and it will cost us. Without my protection, all the creatures of Colburn Woods face a cold winter.”

  “Would one more spell really cause you great trouble?”

  “Sorcery that would enable you to enter a ‘House That Can’t Be Found’ does not count as just one more spell. It would be an old piece of magic, treasured from centuries gone by. The stone dwarves were cunning. Overcoming their cunning is not easy.”

  “But you could do it?”

  “Yes. But I won’t. Already the cold of winter is approaching. I can’t give away any more of my power.”

  Dominil looked at the Fairy Queen for few moments, then nodded gravely. “Very well. I appreciate your time.” She reached inside her coat and drew out a small canvas bag. “I brought you these as a gift.”

  Dithean looked surprised. She extended her hand, taking the bag. “What is it?”

  “Twelve thistle brooches.”

  The Fairy Queen opened the bag and studied the contents. She drew out a brooch, then another. She smiled broadly, so broadly that the glade seemed to light up. “There are twelve of these?”

  “All different.”

  Dithean drew more out, examining each one with pleasure. “I love thistle brooches. How did you know that?”

  “Fenella MacRinnalch recorded it in her book.”

  The Queen pinned a brooch onto her dress, and another below it. “How did you find twelve?”

  “I hunted many shops in London,” said Dominil. “I hoped it would be a suitable gift.”

  The Fairy Queen cried out in pleasure as she took out another brooch, a thistle with a small ruby in the center. “This is lovely.”

  “I’m pleased you like them,” said Dominil. “I’ll take my leave now.” Dominil turned to go, and began to walk down the incline toward the trees.

  “This one is even nicer,” said the Fairy Queen, behind her. “Wait, Dominil MacRinnalch. I have more to say.”

  Dominil retraced her steps till she stood beside the Fairy Queen.

  “You do appreciate that you’re making a difficult request?” said Queen Dithean.

  “I do.”

  “I hope so. The ‘Entrance Spell of the Fairy Traveling From Sky to Earth’ would give you access to the house, were I to grant it to you. Unfortunately, I can’t. My fairies would shiver for a month.”

  The Queen went silent. Dominil waited. She noted, objectively, that Dithean’s eyes were unusually large, and intensely blue.

  “Do you know Queen Malveria?”

  “Yes,” said Dominil.

  “Do you like her?”

  “I don’t dislike her. We have little in common.”

  The Fairy Queen smiled. “That is true. Though you’re not completely dissimilar. The Fire Queen has a very resolute determination, and great courage, though she attempts to hide it. You also have these qualities, I perceive.”

  The Fairy Queen put her hand to her necklace, an unusual piece made of red stones, and smiled.

  “We met when we were children,” she said. “We’ve been friends ever since. When we were still young we became friends with Gasanda, a princess of the stone dwarves. Her parents discouraged our friendship. They weren’t keen on their daughter meeting with strangers. They refused to let her out to play with us, and kept her locked away in their ‘House That Could Not Be Found.’”

  The Fairy Queen gently rubbed the tips of the fingers of one hand together. Out of nowhere, two tiny blue flowers appeared.

  “But it never stopped Gasanda from coming out to play. She was such a funny, bright child. Always laughing. What fun we had, Malveria, Gasanda and I.” The Fairy Queen laughed. “I remember we were all playing in the big circle of stones on the Isle of Lewis, and it started to rain, and Malveria almost cried because she thought the rain would extinguish her. We were only young at the time. So Gasanda used her powers to move the stones and make us a shelter. We had a picnic under the stones, looking out at the rain.” Queen Dithean smiled. “Malveria was never worried by the rain after that, which is unusual for a Fire Elemental.” She looked at the flowers in her hand. “Gasanda’s parents trying to keep her inside never bothered her for a moment. She had a spell of her own, you see. The ‘Maynista Princess Two Flower Pathway.’ As long as Malveria and I had one of these flowers, and she had the other, she could just walk in and out of her house. I’m prepared to let you use this spell. It will cost me power, but the effects will not be so severe.”

  The Fairy Queen handed the flowers to Dominil. “It’s not as convenient as the ‘Entrance Spell of the Fairy Traveling From Sky to Earth.’” With that, you could breach their walls from the outside. With this sorcery, you’ll need to somehow position one of the flowers inside the house. If you do that, you can create a pathway.”

  Dominil examined the small blue flowers. “Thank you, Queen Dithean.”

  An expression of sadness flickered across the Fairy Queen’s face. It was very brief, but Dominil noticed.

  “What happened to Princess Gasanda?”

  “She married a prince. The
y became King and Queen of the Maynista. But he was a warlike king, and fought many long campaigns. Eventually they invaded the land of the Hiyasta. They were both killed in battle by Queen Malveria.” The Fairy Queen fell silent for a moment, remembering. “Afterward the Maynista cursed Malveria for killing their rulers. Malveria is too strong for their curse to trouble her. She can’t enter any of their buildings, but is otherwise unaffected.” Queen Dithean frowned. “Though the curse does not trouble her, she has always regretted killing Gasanda. We were all such friends as children.”

  “Thank you for your help,” said Dominil. “I’m grateful and honored.”

  Dominil turned and walked back down the slope toward the trees, leaving behind her the Fairy Queen. As soon as the werewolf disappeared, the Queen shrank to her fairy size and flew to the nearest tree, where she sat for a long time thinking about her old friend the Princess, and the fun they’d all had together, when Dithean, Malveria and Gasanda were young, and had no responsibilities.

  CHAPTER 133

  The Fire Queen sought out First Minister Xakthan when she returned to the palace.

  “Xakthan, I apologize for missing the undoubtedly vital meeting on drainage problems.”

  As absolute monarch, the Fire Queen had no real need to apologize, but after the unfortunate events surrounding Distikka’s attempted coup, she had promised her loyal first minister that she would pay more attention to state affairs, and had endeavored to keep her word.

  “The truth is, I had to meet Dominil MacRinnalch, in an art gallery, and that was a stressful experience. One could not help worrying she was on the verge of saying something very clever at any moment, and perhaps even lecturing me on painting.”

  “I can see that would be stressful, mighty Queen.”

  “Indeed. So worrying was it that I ate several almond tarts, which were not on my diet, and am now wracked with shame and remorse. And all this on top of a visit from the Duke of the Black Castle, from which I have not yet recovered.”

  “Did it go quietly, as planned?”

  “Far from it, Xakthan! The Duke was his usual dissolute self. The music, gambling and drinking were almost non-stop. One is quite shattered.”

  “Could you not have discouraged him?”

  “Well, one does not like to be too harsh,” said the Fire Queen. “Between ourselves, I made quite a dent in the Duke’s finances at the card table. You should have seen poor Prince Garamlock settling up at the end, with a face like thunder. He’ll be off to complain to his relatives in the netherworlds, no doubt. I must cast the appropriate spells for appeasing the dead, just in case.”

  They walked together through the enormous golden gates outside the throne room. Ceremonial flames shot from the gates as the Queen passed by.

  “Has anything happened that I should be aware of, First Minister?”

  “There is report concerning Empress Kabachetka.”

  “Not more cosmetic surgery, surely? The woman’s nose cannot take another operation.”

  “Uh, no, mighty Queen. It concerns the werewolf in her palace.” Xakthan lowered his voice. “So far our agent has been unable to make contact. Time may be running out. The Empress has a new lover, and Sarapen is to be got rid of.”

  “How do we know this?”

  “The information comes from the Empress’s keeper of shoes, who’s usually well informed.”

  “We must keep trying, Xakthan. I depend on this scheme working so that Agrivex will be properly tutored next year.”

  “Very well. Incidentally, Agrivex is here.”

  “Agrivex? It’s not time for her usual visit.”

  First Minister Xakthan looked embarrassed. “I think she may have deliberately visited while the Queen was absent, in order to address the council of ministers.”

  “How extraordinary. What did she have to say?”

  “A strong demand for an increased allowance, followed by a long denunciation of the Earth nation of Japan.”

  The Fire Queen blinked. “Pardon?”

  “Apparently they have spoiled her favorite cartoon. She wondered if we might cause a volcano to erupt in retaliation.”

  “How did the council of ministers respond?”

  “We did not get the chance. While becoming animated, Agrivex tripped over a small table, bumped her elbow and burst into tears.”

  “She has had trouble with that table before.”

  “Indeed. As she was hopping around in pain, she stumbled into the great flaming seal of state and burned her hand.”

  “Burned her hand?” said the Queen. “Agrivex is a Fire Elemental. She can’t burn her hand.”

  “I’m afraid she did. She is in the infirmary, receiving treatment.”

  The Fire Queen rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Really, Xakthan, this is greatly humiliating. The foolish creature has no control of her fire whatsoever.”

  By now they had reached the throne room, but the Fire Queen changed her mind, and turned off into one of the main corridors that ran through the palace.

  “I will visit the wretched girl now. Send word to Arch-wizard Krathrank that Agrivex will be arriving for tutoring soon, and may need two months instead of one.”

  Xakthan bowed, but the Queen noticed he was uncomfortable. “What is the matter?”

  “Arch-wizard Krathrank is a harsh taskmaster. I’m not sure he’s a suitable tutor for Agrivex.”

  “A harsh taskmaster is exactly what she needs, Xakthan. When we were her age we had full control of our fire.”

  “Agrivex is very different to us. Perhaps a gentler approach—”

  The Fire Queen held up her hand. “Enough, Xakthan. Your kindness is laudable, but Agrivex is my adopted niece and must do better.”

  With that the Queen swept off down the corridor, heading for the infirmary where her niece was currently under the care of Grand Physician and Master of Herbs Idrigal. As the Fire Queen arrived he was placing red leaves on Agrivex’s hand.

  “Not sufficient, Idrigal,” said the Fire Queen. “I have treated burns on Earth, among humans. Who, lamentably, my niece seems now to resemble. Bring orange flame stalks, the kind we use to treat fire cows.”

  “Hey,” protested Agrivex. “Who are you calling a fire cow?”

  “Silence, dismal niece. Do not make this more humiliating than it already is.”

  Physician Idrigal fetched the orange flame stalks from his storeroom and handed them to Malveria. She placed two on Agrivex’s burned hand, then moved her own hand over them, causing them to melt. The unsightly blemish on Agrivex’s hand began to heal.

  “Thanks, Aunt Malvie.”

  “Come with me, embarrassing niece.”

  Agrivex pouted. “I’m sick. Shouldn’t I stay here for a while?”

  “You are now perfectly healthy, and wish merely to avoid my wrath.”

  “Could we just forget the wrath?” said Agrivex, following her aunt out of the infirmary. “It doesn’t really serve any purpose.”

  “How would you expect me to react when my niece has humiliated me in front of the entire palace by burning her hand on the great seal? Is there no end to your stupidity? How dare you ask my council to erupt a volcano in the splendid Japanese nation?”

  “They deserve it,” cried Agrivex. “Have you seen Nagasaki Night Fight Boom Boom Girl? It is so bad!”

  The Fire Queen came to a halt. “Agrivex. Putting aside the utter preposterousness of your idea, is it not the case that this country, Japan, makes many of your favorite books, games and cartoons?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Indeed. Yet you foolishly fly off the handle because of one thing you dislike. This is not statecraft, Agrivex. As my niece, I expect you to have some grasp of statecraft. Along with some grasp of controlling your flame. I am contemplating sending you immediately to Arch-wizard Krathrank.”

  “That’s so unfair!” cried Vex. “You said I had more time.”

  “Will you make progress?”

  “Maybe.”

  �
��I doubt it.”

  “Well I won’t make any progress if you’re doubting me all the time,” said Agrivex. “Cosmo Junior says the number one reason for girls failing to fulfill their potential is their parents not supporting them.”

  “I have supported you greatly!”

  “No, you haven’t! You just criticize me all the time. No wonder I can’t control my fire. I’m telling Wizard Krabby it’s all your fault.”

  “You will tell him no such thing! And don’t call him Wizard Krabby!”

  “Really, Aunty, I thought you’d have better things to think about than persecuting your niece. Like producing an heir for instance.”

  The Fire Queen came to an abrupt halt, and glared at her niece. “That is none of your concern, vile girl. I hear enough on the subject from my ministers without you joining in.”

  “Fine, I won’t mention it again,” said Vex. “On a completely unrelated subject, how was dinner with Beau DeMortalis?”

  “An uncivilized affair from which I have not entirely recovered.”

  “So you had a good time?”

  “I did not admit that,” said the Fire Queen. “And I still have not forgiven you for inviting him to my private wing. What were you thinking?”

  “Why not have dinner with him?” said Vex. “He’s the only aristocrat you really like. Maybe if you had a few more friendly dinners you might not feel the need to persecute your beloved niece all the time.” She looked at her hand. “It’s healed. Thanks, Aunty. Well, I’d better get back to London. I’ve got a lot of important studying to do.”

  “I did not give you permission to leave!” shouted Malveria, but her niece was gone, fading quickly from view.

  My niece becomes more idiotic by the day, she thought. She wears me out. I need wine, and conversation with Gruselvere and Iskiline.

  The Fire Queen hurried toward her chambers, to talk to her closest companions.

  CHAPTER 134

  Kalix ran through the streets of Kennington, picking up her pace as she entered the park. She could feel the rhythmic tapping on her back from her long, thick ponytail, and a similar sensation on her chest from her pendant. She sprinted through the park, oblivious to mothers with baby buggies, youths playing football under the warm afternoon sun and the small group of alcoholics gathered by the benches, passing round bottles. She could feel the strain as she emerged onto the pavement outside, but kept going. Kalix’s fitness was improving, and she was pushing herself hard. She only just made it through her front door before collapsing onto the floor, panting for breath. She lay in darkness for a few minutes, feeling her heart pounding.